Justin text me and asked if I was coming home tonight or tomorrow and I sad I’m spending the night with Jeff, I will be home in the morning. He said ok good, I get to sleep with Nicole tonight. I’m like wtf, is he starting to want Nicole now, or is he just trying to make me jealous. Now I’m wonderin...

I feel like I’m getting back to normal finally. Doing my lines, having an affair with Jeff just like Mike. This is when I am my happiest. We have done 6 lines so far, so I can do 11 more:)))! So nice having my coke back. I don’t know how I went without it. I am starting to realize I won’t go without...

Jeff is so cute. I was telling him how Amy used to have my line ready every morning when I walked in, and my coffee cup full, and we would go out and talk about our day and have two cigarettes. Then how I would head to Mike’s to do lines and have sex all day. So he was up before me, came in laid on ...

We just did our 6th line. I feel so much better now. You don’t know how bad I needed this. I’m starting to feel like I’m with Mike again, Such a strange feeling, but in a good way. I should have never flushed my coke, that was so dumb. He asked me if I ever did coke cut with meth or did lines of met...

He asked me if my husband did coke and I said no. He asked me if he knew I did? I said when I met him I had a coke/sex buddy like what we are doing. He had no idea I was doing coke and having an affair, and what’s really wild is you remind me of him so much. I used to go over his house several days ...

We just did our third line. I’m so happy and relieved. Jeff asked me now that I’m doing coke again, do I really want to quit it? I said of course not, I have been doing everything I can to start doing it again. I tried to quit cold turkey, but that is way too hard. I told him I really do have to qui...

Wow! I told him I needed about 100 lines worth before I leave , and asked him how much. I wanted to put it in my bag now so I don’t forget. He said since I just started again he’d give me enough for this week free. He is so sweet:))))!!! He said he would give me some extra so if I do more, I won’t h...

OMG! I forgot how good this feels. I was dying to get my coke back, and my new coke/fuck buddy Jeff came through for me. The sex was so intense. Nothing like sex doing lines. I do feel like I did when I was sleeping with Mike and doing lines all day. I have done 2 lines with Jeff, his coke is so goo...

OMG I just pulled in. I’m finally going to do a line in less than 2 minutes then sex. I’m so happy right now!!!!

Justin asked me not to say anything to Nicole, he said he wants to tell her and talk to her tonight. He is taking her out to the store, and I will be gone before they get back. I’m not sure how this is going to pan out, as Nicole told me she would leave if I start doing coke again, but this is diffe...

I may not even do 17 lines, I want to surprise Justin and get through this faster than 17 weeks, although this weekend I will probably do a lot I am craving so bad. I feel like I just got Mike back. I also told him I will definitely be smoking again because I have to have my cigarettes when I do lin...

I wrote Justin a long letter. I apologized for everything I did behind his back. I know I need to get off coke. I came back home from Glenn’s under an agreement that I could do my 20 lines a day and each week I would reduce the lines by one, so week 2 was 19. Weaning myself off of it. I decided to t...

Well it doesn’t matter anymore. Justin asked me if I would take a drug test when I came back from spending the weekend with Jeff. I said never mind you don’t trust me. As far as what is going on here, it is 100% real. This is our life. Justin swore it off, so if you noticed, I’m the only one here fo...

Justin is frustrated we are both smoking again. He said we were doing so well and not to give up. Nicole said she is going to try again, so I didn’t have much choice. Thankfully I have not had that many. I told Justin he will see I can quit so he gains confidence in me meeting with another guy. Two ...

I know. Nicole caved in and now I feel like I am caving in. I need my coke so bad I wish I was meeting him today. It is going to be like having Mike back. I can’t tell Justin. Nicole is trying to talk me out of it. She said if I do this she is leaving. That would be awful. I don’t want that to happe...

So Justin had to go out for awhile, and Nicole looks at me and says, can you keep a secret? I said why are you asking me that. She takes me out to the pool deck opens her bag and takes out her cigarettes. Lights one up and said I can’t quit, When I went to my friends where I used to live I smoked so...

I talked to Justin and told him since he has Nicole, I wanted another guy to have sex with. He said that’s fine, but you need to go at least 30 days and then make sure you aren’t still thinking about coke. I said by the time 30 days are up I won’t be looking anymore. But, I opened my ad again and ha...

We are officially in our new home! It is amazing. Justin has a Sonos Theater system through the house. It is a smart house, I don’t even know how everything works yet. The pool is cold, but it has solar heating and will be warm by tomorrow. The bathrooms are huge, especially in the master room. We c...

Justin asked me if I needed help getting through this. He mentioned a 90 day treatment plan. I said 90 days? There is no way I’m going into one of those for 90 days. That’s not an option. I’ll be fine. I just have had a tough day. Justin and Nicole are concerned, but I’m not going into someplace for...

I guess it is day 9

Today has been my toughest day. Last night I had a dream I was back in my shop. I was walking in early in the morning, and there is Amy with my line of coke ready. I do the line, and we go outside for our cigarette and coffee. It must have been a Saturday and she asked me if I was heading to Mike’s ...

Today was a great day! I did 3/4 mile, and Justin says we all get Sunday off to rest. He said I could be doing a mile by next Saturday. I’m actually getting into this because my energy level is up. We were out all day and just got home an hour ago. I’m still amazed how much we all love each other an...

I’m actually feeling some energy. I asked Nicole if she would be ok if I slept with Justin tonight, and she slept in the other bedroom. She responded by saying, you never have to ask me that. I will sleep in the other bedroom every night if you want. I gave her a hug and said, no just for tonight. I...

Why I won’t do coke again, what an endless loop of disgust. I meet Jackie at my shop, make a coke connection through Jackie before meeting Justin. Partied with and slept with Jackie. Jackie hooks me up with Mike. Mike tells me to stop by anytime, so next thing you know, I’m doing coke at Mike’s ofte...

Before I go I just realized if anyone is reading all this, it is probably going to get boring. We went on a two year mission to get all our fantasies and stuff out and lived. We never thought just a short while in we would end up with a third, Nicole. More than that how amazing it all fits together....

Thank you both for sharing your good will. Today I did a half mile and just had nothing left. Pathetic, but I keep trying. My mind is a lot clearer, I read a lot of stuff I wrote here. I honestly can’t believe a lot of it was me. Wow! People here must think I am a total ahole. Based on what I read I...

This morning Justin ran with me. He was determined to get me to 3/4 mile. I cam up about 100 or so yards from making it. He said just think 5 days ago you were struggling to do 1/2 mile, you have made substantial progress. I guess he is right, and eating regular again and exercising everyday includi...

Rewarding day. I made love to Justin, he was with Nicole tonight, and I had some playtime with Nicole. My appetite for some reason is on overdrive. Still not very energized. Justin said we may be able to move into our new house by the end of the week if inspection goes well. I’m not looking forward ...

I’ve never see anyone spend what Justin just spent today. He said he is worried about having so much in the stock market. He said Amazon went down 170 points yesterday and he lost 100000’s of thousands of dollars all together in one day. He is going to start mixing things up he said. Nicole has been...

I forgot to thank stupidme, and Grover for encouraging remarks. It does mean something! We all have demons, and I wish both of you fighting off those that may harm you as well. We are all in search of the better person inside of us, some of us take longer than others to find it. I’m gaining ground. ...

Wow this morning Justin took Nicole and I into what is pretty much his office. He ordered some things to be written and documented, and set up something that had Nicole about ready to pass out. He got personal information from her and opened an investment account for 500,000!!!!!! She was completely...

I forgot to mention that we all sleep in the same bed now, every night. I’m not a good part of that because I am not sleeping well. I woke up at 3 last night and went into the family room and turned the TV in with low volume. Justin followed me out and we laid down on the couch. Within 15 minutes I ...

Thank you, both of you. This morning Justin wanted us to run but Nicole and I wanted to get to Glenn’s house and out of there before noon. Justin was hearing none of it and said ok, we will run when you get back. We got to Glenn’s house and there was a sealed envelope on the table with my name on it...

Thanks again. Justin put an offer on the house that was our consensus pick. It even has a built in pool and spa. It is way bigger than where we live now, and seems bigger than Justin’s old house. He was hoping to get a call tonight from the realtor but nothing yet. Yesterday was tough, today tougher...

Thank you so much. Justin has furiously used his eraser files at the direction of Nicole. I couldn’t do this without both of them. God willing, I will keep fighting. It is so much harder, maybe I even have some meth withdrawal at least if Glenn is serious. I scooped out a lot of it though. Justin ha...

It was a tough day. Justin suggested we all start becoming active again. We all went for an early morning jog. Just a mile. Justin used to do 5 but decided he would start at 2. I got about a half mile and had to stop. Nicole made the 1 mile, I had to walk the last 1:2 mile. I think we all felt the n...

Tiger19 I think you just may have saved my life. I went back and read what I have been writing. I was shocked to see all I think about is drugs now. I’m a total mess. I am a sweet girl with a lot of demons right now. I’m killing Justin emotionally. I just called Justin and Nicole into the bathroom. ...

I have been texting my go to guy Mike. I told him I’m going to drive back for a week and asked if I could stay the week with him. He said, seriously do you have to ask? That would be great. I told him I’m getting my boobs done so it will be in about 2 months. He said that is awesome Amber! I’m going...

Coke makes you think of a lot of things. I realize now Justin is no dummy. I somehow think his instincts made him know that I was extremely sexual, and I was probably having affairs on him, and because of my past he probably knew about the coke. Especially after seeing it in the video. He probably k...

Nicole just reminded me my breast revision appointment is Thursday. I completely forgot about it. Dam it. I want to get my boobs done but that means 6 weeks before I am completely heeled and a few weeks without sex, and no coke for a few days. The thought of not having my coke is scary. Then I can’t...

The problem with meth it is highly addictive, but if it is that good, I would want to be addicted to it. I would just keep using it. I never got that part. If you are hooked on something that you don’t like that would suck, but if it is something your not going to quit anyway, it doesn’t matter if y...

Checking my ad responses. Got one from a guy that used to do tons of coke but switched to meth. Says he loves it a lot more than coke, and he is pretty hot. He said he’d love to see a picture. I sent him one. He said if I had a meth weekend with himI will never do coke again. That sounds pretty inte...

Happy New Year everyone. Nothing like starting the New Year doing a line. What a night. Nicole was fun to party with. We all had a great time, lots of sex. We are getting back to normal as we all slept in the same bed last night.

I want her to do coke with me so bad. She said she will do 1 more line at midnight and that’s it:(

Nicole just did another line with me. I love this woman! Maybe I am getting a new coke partner:). I love it! So does Justin. She is happier than I have ever seen her. I love coke so much. I’ve been wrapped around Nicole all night. My tongue is sore from circling those beautiful DDs.

Nicole did her first line with me about an hour ago. We did a line side by side and Justin was in awe. Nicole immediately kissed me, and we never made it to the bedroom we were having sex with each other, and I went down on Nicole and gave her an orgasm! First time I ever did! I came so many times J...

Justin bought some cigars. I hate when he smokes those. The whole house smells like it for days. Nicole and I are pleading with him not to have one, just have a couple of our cigarettes instead. He says he likes them once in awhile but doesn’t want to end up hooked on them, but he is hooked on his c...

So I took my coke out and asked Nicole if I should cut her a line, and she said not yet. Justin is just amazed by me doing coke. He said doesn’t it hurt putting that in your nose. I said no it feels so good. You feel so good you never ever want to stop. I told him I love cocaine so much. Every time ...

Nicole was an nervous and actually asked Justin if he would be ok with her doing some coke tonight? She said it’s not a habit for me, I like to do it once in awhile. Justin said yes, just make sure I’m here when you do it! She looked at me and smiled and winked. I went over and gave her a long sexy ...

We have a lot of stuff for New Year’s Eve. We are all getting ready to cook and prepare appetizers and have lobsters shrimp and a lot of seafood. Going to be a fun night. I’m doing a line and jumping in. I’m so tempted to do a line of meth. I might ruin the night though, not sure what it will do. So...