Tanya,
I think anyone who has faced difficult life decisions can understand your dilemma and sympathize with your situation. But how can anyone decide for you what you should do. Who can tell which of those paths will lead you to the most happiness, if any. Some things you have to figure out for yourself and sometimes you just have to make your best guess and take your chances.
Some people turn to psychologists and psychiatrists for help in such situations. In my opinion they are usually just a paid and poor substitute for a good friend. Often, if there is useful advise to be had in such situations, it can only come from a close friend who knows you very well. Such friends are rare, especially for those who are reluctant to let others know them that well. Other times, even if you are lucky enough to have such a friend, they may not possess the wisdom and insight necessary to give good advice. I wish you the best in finding answers to your questions.
Regards,
Sarnoga