I'm a Christian, who uses this perverted hypnosis

[mmelvin420]

I am a Christian who from when he was young was interested in being feminized which is wrong because it can be considered intercourse with polished society. Having bred in the tepid reticence of propriety, I've tried to quit all my life, but have been thwarted by seeming insuperable obstacles. I pray for you all and myself that we will quit and see the true meaning and purpose in life which is God. At any rate I hope you folks who read this will read Ecclesiastes which is in the Bible.

Wishing you all fixed convictions of mankind and a guilty conscience. Remember this hypnosis desire wll become a long accumulating store of discontent and unrest, the product of man's own folly.

[VeryGnawty]

Remember this hypnosis desire wll become a long accumulating store of discontent and unrest, the product of man's own folly.

Did God tell you this, or was it some old geezer at your church?

You should never blindly believe something just because it's in some old dusty tome. I suggest you take some personal time with God and seek answers through prayer. Lots and lots of prayer.

[hellion0]

...And things like the original post do nothing but convince me that religion is just another form of hypnosis. :evil:

[VeryGnawty]

...And things like the original post do nothing but convince me that religion is just another form of hypnosis.

Technically I think it's called brainwashing. But there are similarities.

[jjaimet]

i believe it was Jesus who "loved" all the little children. LOL ya i'm going to hell, see ya all there lol.

I am a Christian who from when he was young was interested in being feminized which is wrong because it can be considered intercourse with polished society. Having bred in the tepid reticence of propriety, I've tried to quit all my life, but have been thwarted by seeming insuperable obstacles. I pray for you all and myself that we will quit and see the true meaning and purpose in life which is God. At any rate I hope you folks who read this will read Ecclesiastes which is in the Bible.

Wishing you all fixed convictions of mankind and a guilty conscience. Remember this hypnosis desire wll become a long accumulating store of discontent and unrest, the product of man's own folly.

[thisguy]

I am a Christian who from when he was young was interested in being feminized which is wrong because it can be considered intercourse with polished society.
...

One thing I can say for christianity is- it somehow succeeds to bind all your desires on one post which they call god, and because SO MANY people are telling you it's the FUCKING BEST!! your brain kind of gives up arguing.. and well.. you'll be happy as idiot!

Surprisingly, finding somebody on the net who will hypnotize you and MAKE you BELIVE you are total slut and HAPPY about it.. kind of does the same! The difference is, believing in god or jesus or whatever diety you have there, is somehow sanctioned by the public.

It's like cocaine is bad, but smoke and drink away, because it's ok.

Bottomline: Brainwashing is fun! "followers" of god do it all the time so it must be the ulitmate best thing ever!!!

So basically you are telling, that your new master is the best you have ever found.. so I'm really happy for you, that you are serving your purpose being the slut you always dreamed to be.. only taking it from the allmighty himself!

Have a nice life! But I hope you know there are other religions in the world. I hope you did not take the first one you happened to stumble into?

[VeryGnawty]

Surprisingly, finding somebody on the net who will hypnotize you and MAKE you BELIVE you are total slut and HAPPY about it.. kind of does the same!

I would argue that there is one key difference. Most people who go into that type of hypnosis do so in an exploratory manner because they want a new experience.

Most people who makes posts like the OP choose religion in a fearful manner because they are afraid of having a new experience.

That's why it's brainwashing. They think they are happy and their live are perfect. But in reality they are in such denial about their true desire that they don't even realise it exists.

That's why I make a distinction between hypnosis and brainwashing, because one uses fear. I'm talking about real fear. Pretend fear doesn't count, because it is just pretend.

[LA88]

Well if God is indeed the way christiantiy perceives him to be, i'm sure he'll do the christian thing and forgive us. Besides god or not it's not really doing anyone any harm so, what is the big deal?

[VeryGnawty]

Well if God is indeed the way christiantiy perceives him to be, i'm sure he'll do the christian thing and forgive us.

He is going to fogive us, and then condemn us to eternal punishment anyway.

At least, that's what my parents say. Frankly, I think their God needs to see a therapist. Or, God forbid, a hypnotherapist.

[MN_FriendlyGuy]

I invite you to share one of the important lessons we gay guys learn quickly.

The ones who condemn are often the ones who struggle most against their desire.

And those who celebrate life fully - without harm to others - can stand their ground. We reach out with an invitation to set struggle aside for awhile.

Today is an opportunity to fearlessly and honestly face the things you desire.

[madmax]

i believe it was Jesus who "loved" all the little children. LOL ya i'm going to hell, see ya all there lol.

That was moohamad, get your cults right!

[sunray_2]

Did God tell you this, or was it some old geezer at your church?

To derail this thread: Some of those geezers are admirably good at using hypnosis techniques in their line of work. They have a tradition in this. A few hundred years back Jonathan Edwards ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonathan_Edwards_(theologian) ) regularly had people swoon or getting fits with his sermons. You could learn from them about effectively using language patterns,intonation and rhythm.

Derren Brown playing around with instant conversion ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Sq-YUdq1OI ) ist comparatively lame.

[BobbyS]

Hang on a sec people!

Read his post again, actually listen to what he's saying.

It's actually a rather good piss-take of the occassional religious nuts we do get perusing these forums!

Well done sir! :lol:

[Lobotaru]

I'm a christian as well, and while I generally look at my deviations as "sinful", I don't go around judging others who share my peculiarities. If you remember correctly, Jesus said several things about this: Do not go trying to remove the plank from another's eye until you remove the one from your own, and also to judge means you will be judged in turn.
Also, I don't go to church very much anymore, and I'm actually somewhat happy that I'm not. Studied philosophy and now I'm looking at the bible and actually attempting to UNDERSTAND what I'm reading as opposed to just blatantly taking everything for face value. Its helped me grow as a Christian... and let me tell you, Jesus' objective was to help humans find peace with themselves, NOT to judge themselves. The problem is that the traditional method of preaching the word (aka, hellfire preaching) creates what I call "the demon of the judging eye." You judge yourself until you are about to burst, which then teaches you to judge others by the same impossible standards, despite the exact teachings of Christ that say DO NOT JUDGE OTHERS.
Its like a screwed up version of "love thy neighbors as thyself" except instead its "judge thy neighbors as thyself" with lots and lots of religious zealotry that can make it dangerous.

Oh yeah, and the feminization fetish thing? Most people just keep it as a mental fantasy. I for one have no intent of becoming a woman, and I intend to keep it that way. Besides, most of these fetishes are the result of things that happen to us when we were young. I for one had a hypno-fetish that developed in some other directions purely by accident. Are these deviations from what would be considered natural sexual thought? Yes. Can they be readily corrected or changed? Not really. Trust me, I've tried, and I've read a lot of articles on "treatment" for this kind of thing, which I know a lot of people here disagree on it being something that needs "treating."
Generally, once something is part of your sexuality, it can't be removed. At least that is what I've found so far. Things can be added, but taking them away is hard because its a self-inflicted form of Pavlovian conditioning. We get mental pleasure from it, thus we unintentionally reward the deviant behavior. The only way to reverse this kind of conditioning is to offer an unpleasant response to the stimuli, which is difficult unless you forcibly shocked yourself every time you tried to think about it or touch yourself while thinking about it. You'd need someone else to do it for you as well, and there is no guarantee of it working either (mostly tested on animals and on non-sexual behaviors).

[Aestrius]

I am a Christian who from when he was young was interested in being feminized which is wrong because it can be considered intercourse with polished society. Having bred in the tepid reticence of propriety, I've tried to quit all my life, but have been thwarted by seeming insuperable obstacles. I pray for you all and myself that we will quit and see the true meaning and purpose in life which is God. At any rate I hope you folks who read this will read Ecclesiastes which is in the Bible.

Wishing you all fixed convictions of mankind and a guilty conscience. Remember this hypnosis desire wll become a long accumulating store of discontent and unrest, the product of man's own folly.

The bible is simply a book, full of storys, many people of high religious standing have said this, it is only the hard core higher ups that stand only to make a buck that preach this, if you wish to find god, church is not the answer, the churches are a cult, to find true happiness you must seek your own path in life and believe a different path because YOU believe it, rather than just because someone told you to believe it.

[SDoll]

I think we scared him off....

Or maybe we help him learn to question things. :)

[mmelvin420]

I just don't understand why I have so much trouble quitting. I just went a month without it and now I'm back. But still I have much faith in God. And I know in my heart that if anyone searches they will find and if anyone knocks the door will be opened to them. Only God\s grace can save us now. Please, search.

[davelowe1977]

Read the God Delusion by Richard Dawkins.

[Alien4420]

I just don't understand why I have so much trouble quitting. I just went a month without it and now I'm back. But still I have much faith in God. And I know in my heart that if anyone searches they will find and if anyone knocks the door will be opened to them. Only God\s grace can save us now. Please, search.

Dude, just be who you are. If there's anyone up there who cares, he'll understand.

Jesus taught compassion and forgiveness. "Let him who is without sin throw the first stone." I've noticed over the years that the people who are loudest in condemning the sins of others are the people who are least likely to follow his precepts. They twist his words and deeds to serve their own ends. Listen to what Jesus said, not what the priests and posers say in his name. His is a message of forgiveness, not of hate.

[davelowe1977]

Listen to what Jesus said

Just how might one go about doing that?

[Alien4420]

Just how might one go about doing that?

Peyote?

Seriously, while not every word attributed to him is his, Jesus had a very distinctive voice. It's pretty hard to read the gospels without getting a feeling for the man and his message.

[Haxsaw]

Dear Melvin,
Right guy, correct? Should you do hypnosis in private and do not live it out in the open then who is being harmed? Sure, I believe in God the Father. Sure, I believe in Jesus the Son. I do not believe in churches that fabricate the Words of The Holy Bible to simply make money based on pure profit. It is one instance a church helps a poor family. It is another instance a church helps themselves, (i.e., minister takes money simply to take money,).
I knew a guy, a good close friend. He was a confessed atheist. He was once in a near death accident. He soon had a Bible and faith. Hey, free world, right? He would tell me he hated God and The Holy Bible. He next read it and was amazed. He soon enough gave up late nights on the computer, just to read more.
Should you like hypnosis in the context you merely listen while home alone, for example, then next day go about your life, church, shopping, a job, whatever, that is you.
I wrote a collection of the oddest files here. Some listen and find once they do they enjoy the habit. (I write odd files,). After many work, school, clean house, sport, even go to church. I get messages. I receive this from them.
Some love God. Some hate Him. Some describe Him as a make-believe character. Some experience Him and are shocked... for life. Friend, look in the mirror. The Holy Bible says something about self-inspection. Are you a contributing citizen, holding a job, paying taxes? Alright then, just control how many times you use this site, that's all. Melvin, you are cool for being honest, throughout, about what you believe.
Sincerely,
Haxsaw

[VeryGnawty]

Just how might one go about doing that?

Peyote?

I believe ayahuasca is the method of choice.

[rustyrivers]

disire is the keyword of this post. The question raised is: Is it bring us further away from our life goal when we let us be lead by our disiers?
I do think this to be correct. Our goal in life lies in the centre between tomorrow and yesterday, witch we call now. in that point we are one. every desire pulls us away from that point. experiancing the now is a relegous moment. to experance the now is also like a deep trance. wide awakr seeing all around hearing the stillness, inside and out. Actually we could be on to a verry nice file in the make. By the way, hypnosis is used by everyone. Without is we cannot communicate. we have to open up to each other and send our vision and thoughts to one and other. Of course sexual fantasies are guiltyfull, just because they deprive us from the love the is best felt when shared.

Loving you all

Rusty

[rustyrivers]

sorry about the typo's

[Endo]

Not quite sure if there's an anti-necro rule, but here's my take. If you're not doing this to fulfill lust, which is the base of the adultery commandment, then why are you doing it? And so, is it really wrong? For instance, using a file like "train ultimate orgasm" isn't lust, it's just changing something about yourself. Now, using feminization files when you think that being gay is wrong (not hating on gays) is wrong because you are violating your personal beliefs. All of the denominations exist because peoe don't agree with each others beliefs.

[Tangy]

[quote="Lobotaru"]I'm a christian as well, and while I generally look at my deviations as "sinful", I don't go around judging others who share my peculiarities. If you remember correctly, Jesus said several things about this: Do not go trying to remove the plank from another's eye until you remove the one from your own, and also to judge means you will be judged in turn.
Also, I don't go to church very much anymore, and I'm actually somewhat happy that I'm not. Studied philosophy and now I'm looking at the bible and actually attempting to UNDERSTAND what I'm reading as opposed to just blatantly taking everything for face value. Its helped me grow as a Christian... and let me tell you, Jesus' objective was to help humans find peace with themselves, NOT to judge themselves. The problem is that the traditional method of preaching the word (aka, hellfire preaching) creates what I call "the demon of the judging eye." You judge yourself until you are about to burst, which then teaches you to judge others by the same impossible standards, despite the exact teachings of Christ that say DO NOT JUDGE OTHERS.
Its like a screwed up version of "love thy neighbors as thyself" except instead its "judge thy neighbors as thyself" with lots and lots of religious zealotry that can make it dangerous.

Oh yeah, and the feminization fetish thing? Most people just keep it as a mental fantasy. I for one have no intent of becoming a woman, and I intend to keep it that way. Besides, most of these fetishes are the result of things that happen to us when we were young. I for one had a hypno-fetish that developed in some other directions purely by accident. Are these deviations from what would be considered natural sexual thought? Yes. Can they be readily corrected or changed? Not really. Trust me, I've tried, and I've read a lot of articles on "treatment" for this kind of thing, which I know a lot of people here disagree on it being something that needs "treating."
Generally, once something is part of your sexuality, it can't be removed. At least that is what I've found so far. Things can be added, but taking them away is hard because its a self-inflicted form of Pavlovian conditioning. We get mental pleasure from it, thus we unintentionally reward the deviant behavior. The only way to reverse this kind of conditioning is to offer an unpleasant response to the stimuli, which is difficult unless you forcibly shocked yourself every time you tried to think about it or touch yourself while thinking about it. You'd need someone else to do it for you as well, and there is no guarantee of it working either (mostly tested on animals and on non-sexual behaviors).[/quote


The Original poster is right about God I hope we all get over this too..

But just like the Poster I came here to get my Mind Warp Just to see if it could be Done and It is working my mind is Ether Warp Or I am actually Shrinking.one of my Balls is getting Smaller and I feel tthree extra balls about the size of a marble Forming.

Hows that For Warping. And I am not Going to Hell otherwise in that case we
are all Going to Hell for Watching T.V. TELEVISION HAVE GONE to the Dogs.

[Haxsaw]

Dear Gentle Listeners,
I am not a member of any church. Of course, it is freedom to go to church. It is freedom to believe in God. Many studies prove regular prayer helps the mind. Whatever we do in our lives is our business, of course.
I was with some utterly enraged over my mentioning God in files. It is because some gentle listeners here actually believe in Him. Frankly, some are better when they do. I try, as usual, to please as many as possible. One gentle listener hearing my files was not troubled by the mention of the name of God.
Instead of pounding sand, arguing on and on, note those who are founded in a belief in God above are still coming here... Listening. As one gentle listener remarked: hearing the file was a moment of mental escape within the chambers of the minds.
Sincerely,
Haxsaw

[aureliumdream]

Quite frankly, I, as a rather liberal christian, believe that God doesn't care what you do.

I don't think sin exists anymore, I believe it all died with Christ.

And therefor I believe that no matter what you do, God will always love you. I for one, would like to repay him by living a life of love, as I believe that is what he would love to see us do.

Hypnotise away. Just don't brainwash other people without their consent. That's the only religiously unacceptable behavior in my book.

[akwalpurgisnacht]

I'm not exactly qualified to speak on the subject as i'm kinda undergoing a crisis of the faith, but; my instinct is that God really does not care what you do in the bedroom, so long as it affects only those who are consenting.

[ZoeHelena]

Headline:

"Hit-And-Run Troll Meets With Three Pages of Success. Copious Lulz Declared."

Seriously, this post garnered response?

[Chibi]

The bible never condemns feminisation, I have no idea what you are talking about dude.

And ignore the guy who told you to read The God Delusion, that book is rediculous and so is the man who wrote it.

[robindf1]

I rather like and respect that book and the man who wrote it. Being as both he and that book are held in fairly well regard, I offer a counterpoint to your opinion in telling him to read it. Read it...but not now. It's harsh, uncompromising, and off-putting if you're just reading atheist literature for the first time. I'm not saying it's wrong to be that way, but that's the tone it set for itself.

There are better books for those who want something a bit lighter. Hell, even youtube videos.

[Chibi]

I bought the book but didn't get around to finishing it when I realised the things he was saying barely actually meant that God was a delusion, then I got bored and moved on.

And don't get me started on the whole William Lane Craig issue, that is another thing that puts me off that man.

[robindf1]

William Lain Craig? He's commonly known as one of the most dishonest debaters around. I'm sure nothing Dawkins had to say about him was that off color that wasn't 100% deserved.

[Chibi]

Even Christopher Hitchens (a famous atheist) gave kudos to William Lane Craig and the effectiveness of his arguments. So I think you are being dishonest to yourself, and me.

Christopher said this about WLC: "my brothers and sisters and co-thinkers in the unbelieving community take him very seriously, he is thought of as a very tough guy"

And he also said about WLC that "He's very rigourous, very scholarly, very formidable

Look it up on youtube, "Christopher Hitchens on William Lane Craig"

So I'm afraid you are wrong.[/b]

[robindf1]

So, some famous guy says he's okay, and he's an atheist, so that MUST mean that we're all cool with him.

Okay. One question:

What color is the sky in your world?

[Chibi]

Christopher Hitchens is admired by many many atheists, and yet ironically he is the one saying WLC is a serious guy.

So according to you, they all follow Hitchens, and yet must think Hitchens is a dishonest man too if he was lieing about William Lane Craig.

The reaction that occurs in my eye when I look at the sky at daytime is blue, and black at night.

[robindf1]

No. I said that he's allowed to be wrong. He doesn't speak for us. He doesn't have "followers". I didn't say anything about lying. I never said anything about anyone following anyone. Hitchens is just one man, famous for some things in the atheist community, and infamous in others. If I say, "He's commonly known as a dishonest man," you cannot say that cannot be true because one man thinks he's honest.

[Chibi]

In the end you can feel free to think WLC is dishonest or whatever you choose.

I don't see any problem with his arguments, you might think that is typical for a theist, but I don't agree with every theist who puts an argument out, gee, I barely agree with my closest theistic friends at all about God.

[Tangy]

[quote="Chibi"]In the end you can feel free to think WLC is dishonest or whatever you choose.

I don't see any problem with his arguments, you might think that is typical for a theist, but I don't agree with every theist who puts an argument out, gee, I barely agree with my closest theistic friends at all about God.[/quote

Maybe you can enlighten us about your thoughts of GOD Please you may teach us all something we did not know before. :o ]

[Chibi]

Technically, I believe that reality (The state of being) itself is God. Because in the end they are no different by description.

Reality is unlimited (nothing else exists to limit it), omnipresent, the only true authority and is capable of reason.
A monotheistic God is unlimited, omnipresent, the only true authority and is capable of reason.

So there is simply no difference.

[Brand_X]

If God has something to say, let him speak. To date, he (or she) has been remarkably quiet.

[PSAlexandria]

My Master is a Christian, I am a Deist and Jew. We're both into BDSM, and I'm into erotic hypnosis, which he is okay with. Hypnotism isn't a religion or a magical power, it's a rhetorical technique of influencing people, but it can't go against their personal conscience. You can be a Christian (or Jew, or theist of any sort) and not believe that hypnosis is sinful.

Certainly, your personal conscience can inform your limits, and can be informed by religion. For instance, I feel that worshiping my Master*, accepting his religious or political or philosophical views in place of my own unquestioningly, or forsaking all hard limits even if they are matters of conscience, would be idolatrous. He feels the same way, so absolute worship of my Master is not part of our relationship, and is, in fact, a limit for both of us.

That's just an example of how one can accommodate having a religion and having a kink at the same time. I don't know what your religious beliefs and your kinks are, but unless you have a kink for disbelieving in God, or for killing yourself, they can probably both be expressed in your life, in such a way as to not make them incompatible. For instance, suppose you're into feminization, but believe that it is a sin for men to wear women's clothes**. You might choose to do your feminization scenes naked, but hypnotized to believe that you are wearing women's clothes without actually having to wear them.

There are hypnotists out there who subscribe to all sorts of religions. My advice to you would be to find a hypnotist who shares your particular religion. This might help you see that your religion and kink can be practiced compatibly.

* by which I mean, worshiping him as a person, not doing foot "worship" or muscle "worship."
** You never said you believed that this was a sin (I don't believe it is), but I'm just giving an example of something some people believe

[Casey]

Dear Christian,
Being feminized is not the same as sex, and neither is a sin.
Desires. and feminizing and sex are not evil, or a sin.
They only become a sin if you are engaging in a activity that stunts your spiritual growth or relationship, or if you become a danger to yourself or others with it.

Within each of us... there is both masculine and feminine... neither is good or bad... Some live balanced within both, others are more feminine, and others more masculine.

Only time a sexual desire interferes with Christianity or any other faith... is if you are breaking a tenant of that faith. Did you take a vow to not be feminine? ... I think you just mistake feminine side for being gay, even then... The issues of that is wrongly misinterpreted in the Bible as well... Being sexual and being perverse will not put one hell, however raping an angel like they did in Sodom and Gomorrah well the book said he did not like that very well... Many times they try to say it in a friendly way in church as being in hospital to an angel... so that it does not trigger emotionally rape victims, or expose children to the issue of rape that maybe to young to hear it.... you can have any desire and daydream in the world... and it is not a sin... unless you act upon a desire or dream that harms yourself, others, or feeds Satan which translated correctly actually means "adversary' or "spiritual impediment" ... which just means if it is stopping you from spiritually growing... or taking you from your duties of your faith and path... So, running around dancing like woman dressing like one talking to one... is fine.. as long as you are not like.... standing up in the middle of the church service flirting with the clergy... that would not be fine... that would be interfering stunting you and others spiritual growth...

Hope that helps clear things up.

- Rev. Casey.

[sarnoga]

If you are looking for god, you might as well go to the north pole and look for Santa.

There is little difference between the two. He knows when you are sleeping, he knows when you're awake, he knows if you've been bad or good so be good for goodness sake. There are however, some significant differences. If you piss off god he sends you to hell for eternity. All Santa does is put a lump of coal in your stocking. Oh, and I almost forgot the most significant difference. Most people outgrow believing in Santa as they approach adolescence.

If you want to believe in Santa or god, who am I to complain. Just don't expect me to take you very seriously, and certainly do not try to impose on me the restrictions your superstition has placed on you.

Regards, Sarnoga

[underherspell]

I am a Christian who from when he was young was interested in being feminized which is wrong because it can be considered intercourse with polished society. Having bred in the tepid reticence of propriety, I've tried to quit all my life, but have been thwarted by seeming insuperable obstacles. I pray for you all and myself that we will quit and see the true meaning and purpose in life which is God. At any rate I hope you folks who read this will read Ecclesiastes which is in the Bible.

Wishing you all fixed convictions of mankind and a guilty conscience. Remember this hypnosis desire wll become a long accumulating store of discontent and unrest, the product of man's own folly.

Hopefully you've resolved this in the last few years but... if your conscience is guilty, you might want to bring this up with your priest/pastor. I was raised Jewish, so I can't claim to know perfectly what Christian doctrine says, but none of this seems specifically sinful. Feminization isn't intercourse. It might be an expression of lust, if we're going off a strict Catholic view on the Seven Deadly Sins which is more related to Aristotelian philosophy than the Torah. But even then, there's not necessarily any specifically sexual desire behind it... it's more like meditation guided to some desired end goal that you may want for sexual reasons, may want for personal fulfillment ones, usually a mix of both.

[brave]

God told me himself, shortly before proving to me irrefutably that was who he was, that the only sin that exists is when you harm another person, nothing else is sin, and that is why all sin is the same. He went on to say that freedom becomes the ability to do anything you want to do, just as long as it does not involve sin. Therefore, he proclaimed, “so long as what you do, does not harm anyone, other than you, you can do anything you want to.” (God of the Highest) Later that week he sent a thunderstorm into Los Angeles, at my beck and call, when that became the proof I requested from him.

The constitution set down by him says those exact words, there are viable copies of these sets of law books containing 1400 volumes, scattered throughout the United States, and it becomes a hunt of epic and international importance, which must include the entire nation to be aware of, and follow it’s pursuit. Contained within those volumes are the written and documented proof, honored by every nation on this planet, of reincarnation, Magic, drugs, sex, and a person’s own need to engage in behavior that is in contrast to their regular consistency. This is an expectation so necessary, people may have little power over their free will to resist such temptations of the heart. It is also such an important deed that If you do refuse such temptations, you can be punished by the vary forces of nature that hold the universe together in it’s precision and balance. A situation so horrifying, I’m begging God to remove power over my free will to deny myself those experiences and those actions, ever, ever, ever again, as that is exactly opposite of what happened to me when my heart grew dark for the company of a very young neighbor boy, I tuned that desire out of my heart and I completely shunned that temptation, hard. Please understand I now want to be a slave to those instincts for how bad this punishment has been.

Therefore I envy anyone who has been unable to deny their own animal nature, or their natural instincts. Not only did they get the fun, they also got to skip this horrible, horrible, horrible punishment I’ve been suffering now for 5 years straight.

[invnarcel]

I am my own God.

I worship myself. The nature of God is to be inifinite, limitless. In this sense the demons who have no limiting rules or morality are more reminiscent of God than anything else. We are not so much 'selves' but forces acting within an infinite field If you can't escape your guilt turn it into a fetish. Embrace your sins. It's very possible to be wrong, to spend a lifetime believing in limiting lies, but by embracing destruction and damnation you come out the other side with the clarity of absolute darkness