Realisation, maybe a clue too

[kzarin]

I've come to an addictive realisation:my own extremes of wanting to be brainwashed into becoming a very unlimited force fed sewage disposal unit, being one of dozens of fantasies, are all pure mental shortcuts to orgasm mind space.

This may be blindingly obvious to many.

It may help some who need to see outside of this, that in reality you are mentally working very hard to fire the deeper pleasurable pathways in your brain. For many I suspect the deepest compulsion lays I because we don't know this and identify with our needs directly.

In other words we inhabit our fantasy and allow it to define use when we engage it.

Knowing this means i can step out of going too far.

However, knowing this should also help an appropriate controller to focus on having me forget all this completely so that I can no longer see beyond my controllers desire to ensure I eat as much nasty sewage, shit, garbage as he or she wants without regard to anything else.

Writing this does get me hard so this too is fantasy.

If a controller, top or experimentalist master or mistress uses it on me in future somehow, I clearly gave consent.

[Marian]

Knowing this means i can step out of going too far.

However, knowing this should also help an appropriate controller to focus on having me forget all this completely so that I can no longer see beyond my controllers desire to ensure I eat as much nasty sewage, shit, garbage as he or she wants without regard to anything else.

Writing this does get me hard so this too is fantasy.

If a controller, top or experimentalist master or mistress uses it on me in future somehow, I clearly gave consent.

I know this a bit. Just other details in the fantasy.