Script WIP - Ocean of Consciousness

[Teknogeek]

Hey everyone, I just had a neat idea for a script and wrote a few lines down, but I'm unsure as to where I should go with it. Any ideas or comments would be welcome.
This is meant to be heard after an induction, but it isn't done yet so I don't recommend listening to it with text to speech or anything yet.

Read and enjoy (but don't read too hard)
[code:1]Now I want you to become aware of an ocean.
And in this ocean is every single object and consciousness that you are aware of.
Your mind is just like a current in the ocean, coursing through it with your thoughts.
Your mind's influence can be felt in the ebb and flow of every part of it, and just as well, you can feel every other presence drifting through this ocean, this ocean flowing with thoughts, ideas, consciousness and matter.
Just as a strong ocean current can influence things all across the world, you can reach into this flow and touch every part of it, finding ideas, feelings, thoughts, objects and words.
You can feel your awareness emulsifying into every last part of it, encompassing and surrounding everything in it.
Every consciousness and object you feel is just another current in the ocean, intertwining and weaving in and out of your own.
Every single presence, every feeling and thought around you is mixing with your own, becoming completely immersed in the same ocean, this ocean which you can reach every part of with your awareness.[/code:1]

[PeppermintT]

Very interesting

[jacquelinenow]

Hi Techno,

Thats a very interesting start. First impression was that the $3 words took me out of the flow you seem to be trying to create. If I'm deep enough, I usually don't notice any speed bumps with big words, but it takes being pretty deep. Just a suggestion to be aware of, as you add to the script.

Maybe add a short deepener phrase between the steps into the larger/stronger currents.

btw, what kind of induction are you thinking of using with this file? I'm not sure how to describe the different types I have used. The one that I think would work very well is an "energy" induction... you feel energy filling your [insert body part], filling with energy, relaxing... replacing tension and stress...

I'm looking forward to seeing more.. keep up the good work