Help me enhance my first attempt

[musclepupapollo]

Hello,

Since this is my first time creating this, could I get some feedback on enhancing my jock script/mp3 I created?
I based it on a few pieces from others, and did some of my own work.
I'd like to enhance it to work as well as possible.

[url]https://warpmymind.com/index.php?gadget=HFiles&action=GetFile&file_id=16433[/url]

Thanks!
MuscleGeek