Requesting help, or at least opinions

[Kittyboy]

I'm not a hypnotist, and I've no experience whatsoever in performing hypnosis. But after seeing the script submitted for "Trig Young Teenage Boy" recently, I got kind frustrated and inspired to do something better. So I've written out a fairly long script for it, and I have no idea if it's at all worthwhile.

So I'd very much appreciate it if someone who knows what they're doing could take a look at it and evaluate my work a bit. Or should I just submit it to the site and hope?

I was also considering trying to record it myself, though again, I have no experience with it or any idea what I'm doing.

I was really hoping to see someone experienced create a file for this, and I still hope they will, but I was inspired to try it myself.

My thanks to anyone who can help. :)