The forced gay success thread...

[Alien4420]

So, I've once again yo-yo'ed back to CFG. It's way too arousing. I sometimes find I can't complete an entire listen because I get too worked up at the thought of the file taking me over.

I was wondering what was happening with you. I've tried a few more things, including some really interesting but hairy live sessions, but nothing has worked and while part of me still can't believe it I'm starting to think that CFG is here for good. I'm going to try a few more things with someone from this group, but the truth is I really really don't want to change back anymore. It's a bit scary, but I love it.

[stereoxchild]

I don't know why but reading this & related topics lately made me somehow interested in this file. I have been commenting here about not doing it, and why you shouldn't let this file control you, but now it seems I'm more and more attracted to trying it. Lately I've been thinking, why am I not attracted to guys? I wanna try that file and be attracted to guys. I really don't know what creates this attraction since I did not try it. I listened to the content once but never under trance. I also don't want to try it because it will affect my confidence in social life + I'm having a girlfriend right now & I like girls' attention too much. Guess it's the forbidden fruit thing or something.

[Alien4420]

I don't know why but reading this & related topics lately made me somehow interested in this file. I have been commenting here about not doing it, and why you shouldn't let this file control you, but now it seems I'm more and more attracted to trying it. Lately I've been thinking, why am I not attracted to guys? I wanna try that file and be attracted to guys. I really don't know what creates this attraction since I did not try it. I listened to the content once but never under trance. I also don't want to try it because it will affect my confidence in social life + I'm having a girlfriend right now & I like girls' attention too much. Guess it's the forbidden fruit thing or something.

Heh, totally. And the scary thing is I don't regret having plucked it, I'd do it all over again.

You could always try the temporary thing, listening to it for a few weeks then listening to Curse Forced Straight to change back, but I'm thinking that if you have a steady girlfriend, you may not want to risk it, because if you listen too long you'll lose your desire to change back. Maybe there should be a CFG Lite? Makes you gay for three months or something, after which you can decide whether you want to stay gay or go back to being straight.

[PeppermintT]

There is a Train Bisexual file, why not maximise your options :wink:

[stereoxchild]

The sad part about the temporary & trial thing is, that even when you, after using, stop listening to files like this, there will always be suggestions left hidden in your (sub)concious mind. Also you will have the experience forever in your memory and even when you totally stop it, you will know what it was, what a thrill it was and that, if the circumstances were different, you would go listen to it again.
If I had no gf, no friends, no life, I would try it all. But sadly sex is not all there is, so one's gotta make responsible choices.
Still I feel tempted, more and more.
Ridiculous :)

[Alien4420]

The sad part about the temporary & trial thing is, that even when you, after using, stop listening to files like this, there will always be suggestions left hidden in your (sub)concious mind. Also you will have the experience forever in your memory and even when you totally stop it, you will know what it was, what a thrill it was and that, if the circumstances were different, you would go listen to it again.
If I had no gf, no friends, no life, I would try it all. But sadly sex is not all there is, so one's gotta make responsible choices.
Still I feel tempted, more and more.
Ridiculous :)

Yeah, the guys who have switched back say that a bit of it remains and maybe some wistfulness, though they don't seem to be regretful.

The funny thing, though, is that you really do like whatever you're doing. Someone hypnotized me to go almost all the way back to straight and it worked pretty well the first time we tried it. it's amazing how you can like one thing and not the other, and then flip the switch.

Agree with you about the GF's, though. Friends and life I can handle, because my friends are a pretty tolerant lot and over the years I've discovered that everybody has kinks of one kind or another, they just don't usually talk about it.

[stereoxchild]

Yeah, the guys who have switched back say that a bit of it remains and maybe some wistfulness, though they don't seem to be regretful.

The funny thing, though, is that you really do like whatever you're doing. Someone hypnotized me to go almost all the way back to straight and it worked pretty well the first time we tried it. it's amazing how you can like one thing and not the other, and then flip the switch.

Agree with you about the GF's, though. Friends and life I can handle, because my friends are a pretty tolerant lot and over the years I've discovered that everybody has kinks of one kind or another, they just don't usually talk about it.

Hmm, I'll summarize a bit why I don't want to try these files anymore.
I have tried many many files in the past, mainly feminization, femdom, sissification,.. But then, one day, my GF broke up with me after 2,5 years. That sucked and I thought that it could have something to do with the files I was listening to. They were making me very submissive, socially insecure and I was getting kinda clingy. So I assumed they must have had an impact. Ofcourse the fact that I was taking her for granted the whole 2,5 years didn't cross my mind as being a more important reason. Anyways, I decided I had to stop listening to these files, focus on improving myself, learn how to be a better man, go out, meet new girls,.. And yes, since I stopped (or since I got dumped?) my life changed for the better. Now it's a year later, a year without files and a year with many ups and downs, I'm alot more confident, I'm not constantly questioning myself anymore AND I got myself a new girlfriend. A girl that I, in the past, wouldn't even assume I could even have a shot with. Awesome.
But now I'm happy with my life again, I suddenly start getting interest in these sort of files again..
So I ask you: WHY?

[hypnostudent]

But now I'm happy with my life again, I suddenly start getting interest in these sort of files again..
So I ask you: WHY?

My opinion is ... you got pissed off, put the files aside and focused your attention in the 'right' direction.

Once you got your life 'back on track' and in a relationship again you started looking for that little bit 'extra'.

Either that or the curse or addictive elements of the files are now kicking in.

Is she into hypnosis at all ? Is this something you can both play together with ?

[Alien4420]

Hmm, I'll summarize a bit why I don't want to try these files anymore.
I have tried many many files in the past, mainly feminization, femdom, sissification,.. But then, one day, my GF broke up with me after 2,5 years. That sucked and I thought that it could have something to do with the files I was listening to. They were making me very submissive, socially insecure and I was getting kinda clingy. So I assumed they must have had an impact. Ofcourse the fact that I was taking her for granted the whole 2,5 years didn't cross my mind as being a more important reason. Anyways, I decided I had to stop listening to these files, focus on improving myself, learn how to be a better man, go out, meet new girls,.. And yes, since I stopped (or since I got dumped?) my life changed for the better. Now it's a year later, a year without files and a year with many ups and downs, I'm alot more confident, I'm not constantly questioning myself anymore AND I got myself a new girlfriend. A girl that I, in the past, wouldn't even assume I could even have a shot with. Awesome.
But now I'm happy with my life again, I suddenly start getting interest in these sort of files again..
So I ask you: WHY?

I don't know. I have a tough enough time figuring out why I want to listen to one or another file, and I'm me. I mean, there has to be some reason why I'm intrigued by certain files, indifferent to others, grossed out by a few. I'm not sure that everyone listens to these files for the same reason, or the same combination of reasons. I do know that the ones I've done, here and elsewhere, have been a blast, even though objectively they weren't always "good" for me. And I guess that's true of a lot of sexual behavior, not just files. Like a guy cheating on his wife, or as you pointed out the other day someone falling for someone they know isn't good for them. I think these files can be liberating, in a way, but there are sometimes really good reasons why we aren't liberated. Like when my cousin left his wife of many years and ran off with an exciting woman who turned out to be a bitch and ended up dumping him . . . man, did he knock himself over that one, LOL.

[Dave564]

Interesting chat guys, well I listened to the file that night - it seemed quite nice to listen to, I THINK I went into trance, not sure - either way not sure what else to say, think im gonna listen to it again tonight before bed.

When does someone expect to notice any changes?

[Alien4420]

Interesting chat guys, well I listened to the file that night - it seemed quite nice to listen to, I THINK I went into trance, not sure - either way not sure what else to say, think im gonna listen to it again tonight before bed.

When does someone expect to notice any changes?

Way cool. For me, the changes began right away, but someone else said it took a month for him, so I gues it's no different than any file in that respect. I kept looking at porn to see what if anything had happened, lol. It didn't happen all at once, it was one thing and then another.

[Rossyfox]

Anyways, I decided I had to stop listening to these files, focus on improving myself, learn how to be a better man, go out, meet new girls,.. And yes, since I stopped (or since I got dumped?) my life changed for the better. Now it's a year later, a year without files and a year with many ups and downs, I'm alot more confident, I'm not constantly questioning myself anymore AND I got myself a new girlfriend. A girl that I, in the past, wouldn't even assume I could even have a shot with. Awesome.
But now I'm happy with my life again, I suddenly start getting interest in these sort of files again..
So I ask you: WHY?

Maybe you still want to play with hypnosis, you still want a change; and maybe you think being gay will help you with the feminisation files, since gay guys seem to handle being feminine in society better than straight guys. (We don't really, I think; it's just such a small issue to be rejected for being feminine, compared to being rejected for being gay.)

Perhaps you should still try a change to your life, but in a different direction. Have you considered the TrainTotalJock series?

[stereoxchild]

My opinion is ... you got pissed off, put the files aside and focused your attention in the 'right' direction.

Once you got your life 'back on track' and in a relationship again you started looking for that little bit 'extra'.

Either that or the curse or addictive elements of the files are now kicking in.

Is she into hypnosis at all ? Is this something you can both play together with ?

Probably it's that. Also I'm home alot this month so I'm spending much more time on the internet than normally. You know, the internet, a place where one can start wanderin' from time to time..
I do not think it's the effects of old files kicking in. I still have some old suggestions ofcourse, I'm still hooked with an absurd liking for girls with pantyhose & a love for legs. But I wouldn't know what suggestion from a year ago could suddenly trigger my interest that much a year later.
And no I don't think she would be interested in it. She studies psychology and I asked her once if she learned hypnosis there. Her reaction was a bit strange and she said 'no'.
Would love to play with it though.

I think these files can be liberating, in a way, but there are sometimes really good reasons why we aren't liberated. Like when my cousin left his wife of many years and ran off with an exciting woman who turned out to be a bitch and ended up dumping him . . . man, did he knock himself over that one, LOL.

Lol sad story!
So I assume you are advising me to see what the costs & benefits are of following this purely sexual impulse. I know that they don't measure up, so no I won't do it. But still I want to.. And that's what I just don't get. I don't 'want' this. I could 'want' to cheat on my imaginable wife, that would feel more acceptable than wanting this.

Interesting chat guys, well I listened to the file that night - it seemed quite nice to listen to, I THINK I went into trance, not sure - either way not sure what else to say, think im gonna listen to it again tonight before bed.

When does someone expect to notice any changes?

Like Alien4420 says, check some gay porn. See how you respond to it. You'll notice.

[stereoxchild]

Maybe you still want to play with hypnosis, you still want a change; and maybe you think being gay will help you with the feminisation files, since gay guys seem to handle being feminine in society better than straight guys. (We don't really, I think; it's just such a small issue to be rejected for being feminine, compared to being rejected for being gay.)

Perhaps you should still try a change to your life, but in a different direction. Have you considered the TrainTotalJock series?

Yes probably I indeed still want a change and it could be the feminine thing. I had a certain thing for that since being a kid, don't know why. It's not that I feel like a woman trapped inside the body of a man or anything. I just would like to know what it's like to be a hot girl for some reason lol.
But since girls don't like feminine/sissy boys and I want girls to like me I decided that this habit did not helped me further in life and I decided to ban it out. I started focussing on more manly and dominant fantasies & I do believe it worked with the ladies. I also tried some of these jock-like files, but they just did not appeal to me in the way the others did. During this file-less year I sometimes felt the desire to slide off again to more submissive and/or female fantasies but I never let it win. But lately it's getting more difficult.
So in a way you could say last year I 'changed' back to a more male stereotype and now i'm getting tempted again to change back into a more female sexual 'role'..

[Alien4420]

Lol sad story!
So I assume you are advising me to see what the costs & benefits are of following this purely sexual impulse. I know that they don't measure up, so no I won't do it. But still I want to.. And that's what I just don't get. I don't 'want' this. I could 'want' to cheat on my imaginable wife, that would feel more acceptable than wanting this.

I think you're right not to, BTW, since you have a GF and from what you say a really good relationship.

As to not quite knowing why you want it, I think we're all sort of in that boat, LOL . . . but, you know, why does Joe get turned on by stockings, and why does Sam want to tie up his wife? My mother told me something about that same cousin I mentioned, that when he was a baby his mother used to hold on to him even when he wiggled and tried to get away . . . and later in life he was into dommes. Coincidence?

[Rossyfox]

I also tried some of these jock-like files, but they just did not appeal to me in the way the others did. During this file-less year I sometimes felt the desire to slide off again to more submissive and/or female fantasies but I never let it win. But lately it's getting more difficult.
So in a way you could say last year I 'changed' back to a more male stereotype and now i'm getting tempted again to change back into a more female sexual 'role'..

It seems like the feminine fantasies might just be a holdover from your old hypnosis. It's telling that you don't want to let them win.

As far as I can tell, the feminine files don't have anything to make them uncounterable with other files (unlike CurseForcedGay which specifies that it will become more and more effective and dominating). The jock files might not seem attractive at first, but you just need to stick with it.

It might help if you see it as a total transformation into a jock, all three of the files, and not just countering your feminine side. Gives you something to aim for.

[stereoxchild]

It seems like the feminine fantasies might just be a holdover from your old hypnosis. It's telling that you don't want to let them win.

No I don't think so. As I said I had these fantasies already before using any hypnosis file.
But since I still haven't give in to these feelings since last year, I assume I don't want to them to. But I just know somewhere that there will be a moment in the future where I will give in.

As far as I can tell, the feminine files don't have anything to make them uncounterable with other files (unlike CurseForcedGay which specifies that it will become more and more effective and dominating). The jock files might not seem attractive at first, but you just need to stick with it.

It might help if you see it as a total transformation into a jock, all three of the files, and not just countering your feminine side. Gives you something to aim for.

Thanks for the suggestion, but I think I'll pass. I just don't like the dumbing down, loosing interest in anything but sports etc. F.e. I'm a man of music, I wouldn't want to push that aside.
I'm rather interested in the "Accept you are a dominant" files that are still Premium right now. Maybe that makes a good substitute.

Anyways, back to the gay guys. :)

[Rossyfox]

Thanks for the suggestion, but I think I'll pass. I just don't like the dumbing down, loosing interest in anything but sports etc. F.e. I'm a man of music, I wouldn't want to push that aside.

From what I've read here on the forums, it seems those suggestions only work as far as you want them to. Try a search for 'jock' on the forums; some guys after TTJ do get totally dumb, others don't; there even appears to have been a political discussion between two guys on TTJ.

It all depends what you define as intelligent, and what you define as an interest. These things are more open to interpretation than things like machismo and dominance, I think.

[ftslave67]

I agree totally about wanting to be more of a jock, but not a dumb one. You can wear a jock strap, you know, all the time, and it can remind you that you ARE a jock, without even thinking about it, and when it does occur to you, you can find yourself becoming spontaneously aroused.

[Dave564]

Listened to the file 3 times now, and still no real feelings or noticeable changes yet - it's kind of funny to think how long i considered doing this and how non-eventful the results have been so far!

I do find the file really addictive and fun to listen to though, especially as the voice seems to get more and more emotional as it goes along, it's nice.

I haven't tried looking at gay porn, not sure where to even start searching for that kind of stuff - not sure its a good idea to be honest.

[stereoxchild]

Listened to the file 3 times now, and still no real feelings or noticeable changes yet - it's kind of funny to think how long i considered doing this and how non-eventful the results have been so far!

I do find the file really addictive and fun to listen to though, especially as the voice seems to get more and more emotional as it goes along, it's nice.

I haven't tried looking at gay porn, not sure where to even start searching for that kind of stuff - not sure its a good idea to be honest.

Lol just google something with 'hot gay' in it or something.
Why don't you want to try it? Just check out some gay pictures, or some male models and see how you react to them.. In what other way would you really know if the file had any effect on you?

Btw Rossyfox, I have start listening to TrainTotalJock 4. It's the one without the dumbing down aspect and it also focuses on improving intelligence and confidence. So since the idea first didn't really appeal to me, I now have to say, I really like that file and I feel good about using it.
It's like a great mixture between the jock and the normal me aspect. Just wanting to look better, be more manly, to care more about my body and to support intelligence & not just about becoming a nobrain sportfreak.
I listened to it yesterday in the day & when I woke up I began doing pushups and other exercises. I listened again before I went to sleep, dozed off and woke up 2 hours later after 4 listens. :)
I do think it is affecting me a bit already, cause I feel very motivated in the thought of exercising daily (I'm not going to go the gym though, although it would be handy) & getting bigger and bigger. I see this as a realistic goal. I'm looking at the parts of my physique that could use some improvement and I feel good about it. I already did some exercises today. Becoming a better me.
Sex drive hasn't gone up though. :p

[Alien4420]

Listened to the file 3 times now, and still no real feelings or noticeable changes yet - it's kind of funny to think how long i considered doing this and how non-eventful the results have been so far!

I do find the file really addictive and fun to listen to though, especially as the voice seems to get more and more emotional as it goes along, it's nice.

I haven't tried looking at gay porn, not sure where to even start searching for that kind of stuff - not sure its a good idea to be honest.

Judging by another thread, if you don't look at porn it will just go on in the background and then pop out after you've listened for a month or two. If you do look at porn, you'll see what's happening, e.g., you'll be grossed out by something one day and then turned on by it a few days later. That's what happened to me, anyway.

[Dave564]

Well I looked at some stuff tonight, and have to admit I didn't really feel anything, nothing beyond the curious thoughts I had already had.

I'll probably listen to the file again tonight anyway.

[AlanH26]

Well I looked at some stuff tonight, and have to admit I didn't really feel anything, nothing beyond the curious thoughts I had already had.

I'll probably listen to the file again tonight anyway.

It might take a while. Try taking a peek at the Fred Goudon site (I always find it enjoyable :D ) or see if you like the look of any of the men at http://best-gay-bloggers-blog.blogspot.com/.

You'll be gay soon sweetie!!

[Alien4420]

Well I looked at some stuff tonight, and have to admit I didn't really feel anything, nothing beyond the curious thoughts I had already had.

I'll probably listen to the file again tonight anyway.

Nothing to be concerned about, not everyone reacts right away but that doesn't seem to matter in the end. Just keep listening and it should do its stuff . . .

[Dave564]

hmm.. ok had a weird moment today on the train, a guy in the next carriage who was looking really.. hmm I don't know if gay is the word - but sort of scruffy hair, tight black jeans, a sort of rainbow coloured belt and bangles with a camp t-shirt was walking towards where i was sitting (he was getting ready to leave the train) - he stood right next to where I was sitting so his waist level was pretty much right at my face - his arm accidently touched my face \ hair at least twice as the train rocked slightly - and well I think I felt a bit excited maybe?

Or am I just looking for things that aren't there because I'm aware of what I'm doing? it's hard to tell :)

[Alien4420]

hmm.. ok had a weird moment today on the train, a guy in the next carriage who was looking really.. hmm I don't know if gay is the word - but sort of scruffy hair, tight black jeans, a sort of rainbow coloured belt and bangles with a camp t-shirt was walking towards where i was sitting (he was getting ready to leave the train) - he stood right next to where I was sitting so his waist level was pretty much right at my face - his arm accidently touched my face \ hair at least twice as the train rocked slightly - and well I think I felt a bit excited maybe?

Or am I just looking for things that aren't there because I'm aware of what I'm doing? it's hard to tell :)

Your description is getting *me* excited, LOL. Sounds like it is starting to happen. It doesn't happen all at once, you notice little changes every day. Sometimes it's even different in the morning than the evening, or you go backwards some and then forwards. It took me about two months before I started thinking of myself as gay, though most of my thoughts were gay weeks before that.

[Alien4420]

Testing

[Dave564]

Thanks Alien4420 :)

I would say that after be out and about today I've definitely felt "different" but there's nothing obvious or direct I can say about what that really is.

I'm looking at men in the street (which is a bit weird) but I'm not really noticing anything different, same can be said for porn links too.

By the way, to all the people who are sending me private messages out of the blue - don't take this the wrong way but I'd prefer it if you didn't, I don't see why you can't just post your comments here for everyone else to see, at least until we get to know each other better - thanks.

[Alien4420]

Thanks Alien4420 :)

I would say that after be out and about today I've definitely felt "different" but there's nothing obvious or direct I can say about what that really is.

I'm looking at men in the street (which is a bit weird) but I'm not really noticing anything different, same can be said for porn links too.

Interesting. Sounds like it's happening in the background . . .

[dottie]

It seems like the feminine fantasies might just be a holdover from your old hypnosis. It's telling that you don't want to let them win.

No I don't think so. As I said I had these fantasies already before using any hypnosis file.
But since I still haven't give in to these feelings since last year, I assume I don't want to them to. But I just know somewhere that there will be a moment in the future where I will give in.

Actually, when reading your posts, I was struck by how you hit on so many of the classic symptoms of a latent crossdresser: Thoughts since childhood, being drawn towards feminization files, thinking about being a hot chick, having the pantyhose fetish & leg fetish files fail to wear off, some self-centered behavior harming a previous relationship, and a year-long fetish purge complete with 'machoization' exercises before being drawn back.

I recommend thinking about it to see if I am correct. I won't give you advice on whether to pursue it, but I do have a warning -- if you do pursue it, be careful about not taking your GF for granted, as it is one of the more self-absorbing fetishes. And another warning -- it will never go away (though I don't know if hypnosis can affect it long-term)

Regardless, I hope you enjoy your TTJ, etc files.

[stereoxchild]

Actually, when reading your posts, I was struck by how you hit on so many of the classic symptoms of a latent crossdresser: Thoughts since childhood, being drawn towards feminization files, thinking about being a hot chick, having the pantyhose fetish & leg fetish files fail to wear off, some self-centered behavior harming a previous relationship, and a year-long fetish purge complete with 'machoization' exercises before being drawn back.

I recommend thinking about it to see if I am correct. I won't give you advice on whether to pursue it, but I do have a warning -- if you do pursue it, be careful about not taking your GF for granted, as it is one of the more self-absorbing fetishes. And another warning -- it will never go away (though I don't know if hypnosis can affect it long-term)

Regardless, I hope you enjoy your TTJ, etc files.

Interesting.
But since I have already been going way offtopic here, I've send you a PM about this.

[ftslave67]

Dave,

Hopefully you can just enjoy it & let it happen. I wouldn't fret about it or obsess about it (unless you enjoy that!) You can be attracted to all sorts of people, hopefully you will find someone you enjoy spending time with, as well.

Ray

[Dave564]

Thanks for the advice, ok I'm still listening to the file and definitely think I'm feeling the effects - I work in a male orientated environment and I've definitely found myself looking at the guys around me in a different way, and especially the ones who go to the gym at lunchtime.

Last night i masturbated while thinking of men, this is the first time i have ever done this in my life - wow.

[AlanH26]

Wow it sounds like it's starting to take effect, Dave.

Has it had any impact on how you view women?

[Alien4420]

Thanks for the advice, ok I'm still listening to the file and definitely think I'm feeling the effects - I work in a male orientated environment and I've definitely found myself looking at the guys around me in a different way, and especially the ones who go to the gym at lunchtime.

Last night i masturbated while thinking of men, this is the first time i have ever done this in my life - wow.

Very cool. Amazing, isn't it?

[Dave564]

AlanH26 - I'm not sure really, I still feel attracted to women, at least when I think about them yeah.

It's all pretty strange at the moment to be honest, I have weird thoughts about guys - but I don't actually find them attractive to look at.

[AlanH26]

AlanH26 - I'm not sure really, I still feel attracted to women, at least when I think about them yeah.

It's all pretty strange at the moment to be honest, I have weird thoughts about guys - but I don't actually find them attractive to look at.

That sounds like the first steps. That's kinda like I am without the CFG. I love the thought of being with a man (and it is actually better having done it) but generally if I'm walking down the street I'll prefer women.

It must be quite exciting and yet scary at the same time. Can't wait to see how you're getting on in a week's/month's time.

[Alien4420]

AlanH26 - I'm not sure really, I still feel attracted to women, at least when I think about them yeah.

It's all pretty strange at the moment to be honest, I have weird thoughts about guys - but I don't actually find them attractive to look at.

The same thing happened to me. It changes bit by bit, until all the stuff that turned you off, like rugged male faces, turn you on instead.

I also found that my attraction to women was one of the last things to go. To some extent, it's never gone entirely, since I'll see a woman out of the corner of my eye and be very briefly attracted, then the attraction gets sucked down into some hypnotic void. It's almost as if someone flipped a switch.

[Dave564]

wow that sounds crazy!

Well I'll keep listening anyway, I'm enjoying the file.

[ftslave67]

Dave,

Sounds like you are making some good progress :)

Now's probably a good time to talk about protection--you want to be safe, so it would be best to be prepared.

[stereoxchild]

I also found that my attraction to women was one of the last things to go. To some extent, it's never gone entirely, since I'll see a woman out of the corner of my eye and be very briefly attracted, then the attraction gets sucked down into some hypnotic void. It's almost as if someone flipped a switch.

Doesn't this mean that it's definitely the file working here and not you? Your instinct tells you to look at the girl, but then your programmed mind intervenes and tells you to ignore these impulses.
Why should you then believe that you REALLY are gay, while knowing that it's the file that teached you to believe it? You might have had some bi-tendencies before, but it was the file that flipped you over to one side.
And if you would have never found this site, you would have never listened. So why should you allow this to happen and let this internetfile make such a giant influence on your life? It's pure short-term gratification.
I'm still conflicted about this.

[Alien4420]

Doesn't this mean that it's definitely the file working here and not you? Your instinct tells you to look at the girl, but then your programmed mind intervenes and tells you to ignore these impulses.
Why should you then believe that you REALLY are gay, while knowing that it's the file that teached you to believe it? You might have had some bi-tendencies before, but it was the file that flipped you over to one side.
And if you would have never found this site, you would have never listened.

I don't know. It's definitely the result of hypnosis, but is becoming gay from hypnosis actually that different than becoming that way through early experience? I guess the main difference between me and someone who was always gay is that since I know it's a matter of hypnosis, I know that I should be able to change back. On the other hand, they don't have those commands to listen to the CFG again!

So why should you allow this to happen and let this internet file make such a giant influence on your life? It's pure short-term gratification.
I'm still conflicted about this.

Me too -- there's a part of me that says it makes no sense at all. On the other hand, that short-term gratification is damned powerful, sex is so irrational -- when I was straight, I loved being straight, now that I'm gay, I love being gay, and knowing that I was different doesn't make me love being gay any less or want to be straight any more.

On the other hand, part of me says why not, if no one is hurt, what difference does it make? Assuming you can tough out the homophobia. If it weren't for that, I wouldn't even contemplate changing back, it wouldn't be worth the trouble and I'm still excited about this new world and hornier than I've been in years.

Do you regret having listened? Because with all of this, I still don't . . . it's weird, I can be thinking one moment that of course I'm going to change back, it's just a matter of willpower or trying something new, and then the next moment I'm thinking how cool it will be if I can't change back.[/quote]

[stereoxchild]

I don't know. It's definitely the result of hypnosis, but is becoming gay from hypnosis actually that different than becoming that way through early experience? I guess the main difference between me and someone who was always gay is that since I know it's a matter of hypnosis, I know that I should be able to change back. On the other hand, they don't have those commands to listen to the CFG again!

It's true, it's something that can happen normally in one's life as well. But still, in this case YOU decide it, and I assume your decision is primarily based on lust, short term gratification and a fetish (!) for hypnosis/loss of control/being changed/feminized/other.

The problem with me and these files was that I wasn't happy with them, only when having sexual fantasies they aroused me alot. Really alot. But still after the orgasm came alot of guilt and negative thoughts like "shit what am I doing with myself this isn't good". I felt bad for it. Don't you have that feeling when you are not in a sexual vibe (f.e. after orgasm)?

[Alien4420]

It's true, it's something that can happen normally in one's life as well. But still, in this case YOU decide it, and I assume your decision is primarily based on lust, short term gratification and a fetish (!) for hypnosis/loss of control/being changed/feminized/other.

The problem with me and these files was that I wasn't happy with them, only when having sexual fantasies they aroused me alot. Really alot. But still after the orgasm came alot of guilt and negative thoughts like "shit what am I doing with myself this isn't good". I felt bad for it. Don't you have that feeling when you are not in a sexual vibe (f.e. after orgasm)?

Definitely. But my sexuality was always kind of weird, even when I was straight, so I've always had those feelings. For the first two months I actually felt better adjusted as a gay guy who was into other guys than I did when I was "straight." So my situation is probably somewhat different than yours.

I guess -- if I could wave a magic wand, I'd just be straight and vanilla, with perhaps some optional kinks to spice things up. But I've been trying all my life to do that, and it just didn't work. So at this point, I just try for the best compromise possible. Even straight, vanilla sexuality is like that, as in that example you gave of the guy who falls for a woman he knows is bad for him. It's always a compromise.

If I have any real regrets now, it's that I didn't know what I know now about hypnosis 20 or 30 years ago. I could have done anything I wanted with my sexuality. The psychologists and "sexologists" I consulted over the years might as well have been witch doctors for all the good they did. Even if I went to a psychologist now and told them what to do, their "professional ethics" wouldn't allow them to do it, since it's not middle class and pompous enough.

[ftslave67]

stereoxchild, you seem to be coming from a point of view that "gay is bad". If you open your mind to the possibility that "gay is good" or at least "neutral", I think you will see things differently. Personally, I have been ~99% gay as far back as I had any sexual feelings at all, but because of society's pounding in the message that "gay is bad", it is still difficult to just be myself.

[stereoxchild]

Hmm, I think I might be afraid of it. I wouldn't want to be gay. I sometimes in the past doubted my sexuality (also because of the feminization fantasies & some feminine character traits) and feared the possibility that I could be gay. I think it's mostly the social aspect of it that makes me fear it. So yes, I probably am viewing 'being gay' in a negative frame.
Right now I see myself as being 70% straight 30% gay. Still this file looks attractive to me and I'm still trying to find out why I should or should not follow this 'desire'. The TrainTotalJock thing didn't really work out btw, I felt no real desire in listening more after a few days (also been pretty busy). I guess there must be something..
That magic wand would be handy yes.

[Alien4420]

Hmm, I think I might be afraid of it. I wouldn't want to be gay. I sometimes in the past doubted my sexuality (also because of the feminization fantasies & some feminine character traits) and feared the possibility that I could be gay. I think it's mostly the social aspect of it that makes me fear it. So yes, I probably am viewing 'being gay' in a negative frame.
Right now I see myself as being 70% straight 30% gay. Still this file looks attractive to me and I'm still trying to find out why I should or should not follow this 'desire'. The TrainTotalJock thing didn't really work out btw, I felt no real desire in listening more after a few days (also been pretty busy). I guess there must be something..
That magic wand would be handy yes.

One thing I've come to believe -- if you bottle too much stuff up, try to force yourself to be something that you aren't, it's going to be a constant struggle and your feelings are just going to reassert themselves. You end up like Larry Craig, trying desperately to maintain appearances but always being pulled back into being gay/fem or whatever you really are. So I guess the question comes down to is it worse to pretend to be Mr. Macho when you aren't, or to face discrimination. Different people make different compromises. I have a friend forex who crossdresses in private, and in public wears somewhat feminine clothing that's on the edge but doesn't quite cross the line.

If OTOH you want to change through hypnosis, maybe jockdom just isn't the right thing for you? As it isn't for me. I mean, we're talking extremes here. I'm thinking that a more moderate file that made you happier with your masculine side might be more effective.

[stereoxchild]

One thing I've come to believe -- if you bottle too much stuff up, try to force yourself to be something that you aren't, it's going to be a constant struggle and your feelings are just going to reassert themselves. You end up like Larry Craig, trying desperately to maintain appearances but always being pulled back into being gay/fem or whatever you really are. So I guess the question comes down to is it worse to pretend to be Mr. Macho when you aren't, or to face discrimination. Different people make different compromises. I have a friend forex who crossdresses in private, and in public wears somewhat feminine clothing that's on the edge but doesn't quite cross the line.

If OTOH you want to change through hypnosis, maybe jockdom just isn't the right thing for you? As it isn't for me. I mean, we're talking extremes here. I'm thinking that a more moderate file that made you happier with your masculine side might be more effective.

Hmm, you're making some good points here. It's true that I am not the most macho guy ever and I'll probably never will be. I would like to be though, mainly for carreer & girl-reasons.
On the other hand I already had much attention from girls before I wanted to go all masculine. Maybe that's some sort of subconcious compromise I made during puberty for not being able to be that hot girl. Because during puberty I decided I wanted girls to look at me in the way that I looked at hot girls. So that need of physical attention is a pretty feminine aspect no? Actually I have several feminine charactertraits. I take good care of my hair, I dress well, I like to go shopping on my own once in a while, I like soft music, etc.
Probably the attraction to this gaycurse file is partly due the underlaying desire to be feminine. Girls like boys.
& I know that if I would just think about my old femine fantasies I'll get arroused. So yes it's still there and I'm realising it will probably forever be. Maybe this sexual excitement for being feminine is the sexual outing of these female characteristics I already own. In a way 'I have a girl in me'?

So yes, you have good points, why don't you enjoy it, instead of pretending something you're not.
BUT I'm afraid that starting again with these or other files will make me really feel more and more feminine again and that is something my recent and past girlfriend are/were not attracted to f.e. I remember her saying "who is the man in this relationship?" or my friends looking down on me & mocking me (very frequently in the period i was listening to fem/sissyfiles) that I acted like a girl. Ofcourse the submissive undertones of these files made me sexually like these negative and humiliating experiences. This reinforced the whole submissive thing. (Something I started to counterbalance since last year with more masculine & macho fantasies)
I never told anyone about these femfeelings, or that I was listening to these files. But they seemed to affect my personality in a way that I was displaying this feminity much more outwardly than i did before I listened to them (like the wise words: "you are what you believe you are"). So I would like to listen to files again, but I'm afraid that I won't be able to find the right balance and that it will start to affect my social life again.

Wow that was some serious self-reflecting. :)

[stereoxchild]

Oh btw, if you are lazy, should you always follow that impulse thinking "it's okay, that's what I seem to like and that's who I am" or should you try to fight it, eventhough 'that's not who you really are'? ;)