by Alien4420 » October 31st, 2009, 10:05 am
[quote="ftslave67"]Alien--interesting points, I enjoy having these discussions with you.
Personally, I can only remember once when I was aroused when thinking about a woman--I think I was 13 or 14--and was happy about it at the time.
One point, though--not all gay guys are into shaving or shaved guys. I myself prefer a little fur!
Would like to know what file made you orgasm.
Female hormones, hmmm--what were the circumstances there, sounds interesting. How did you acquire them--did you need a prescription?
I was on testosterone when I was 13 for a medical issue. Sometimes I wonder if that has anything to do with my orientation.
You can respond directly to me if you want.[/quote]
Interesting stuff, isn't it? The file that gave me an orgasm was that file of Cal's at
http://warpmymind.com/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&t=6343
I didn't even listen to it, was just reading it and I find these days I tend to go into a trance when I read the bodies of files so I just went with the flow and stayed in a light trance as I read it.
I'm wondering at this point whether I couldn't just write down a few suggestions for myself, put myself into a trance, and read what I'd written . . . I'm not sure I want to find out, LOL, I've avoided Magic Keyboard because I'm afraid it's so easy that I'll give myself a suggestion I'll regret.
I noticed BTW that some of my aversion to facial hair faded pretty quickly
when I listened to CFG, in fact I was turned on by a bit of it. The body hair and major facial hair aversions though seemed to be the last thing to go, after even the craggy male face thing, and seem to be the first thing to come back when I don't listen for a while. I'm not even sure if it ever went away completely.
I first took female hormones when I was a teenager, stole some of my mother's estrogen pills, LOL because I was turned on by the idea of having a female body. Which is kind of interesting because I had no desire to be effeminate, or a woman, or crossdress . . . so I wasn't TS, I was more like a sexually-motivated TV but interested in the body rather than the clothes. (There's a technical name for that but I forget what it is.) Anyway, it changed me some, gave me a very feminine face and a rounded feminine body, after which I got scared and stopped before my breasts became too big for me to pass as a guy. I didn't use hormones again for many years, then I got back into it and dabbled with estrogen patches (you can order them online without a prescription) and Perfect Woman breast cream (phytoestrogens). I'd go on the patch for a few months, then off it, so I started to get a pretty good feel for the changes it made in my personality and sexuality. And just as the hypnofiles have taught me that a lot of gender and sexual behavior is in software, the hormones taught me that a lot of it is in hardware, and that some of it seems to be both.
Forex, I remember vividly starting on the hormones, which always have a very strong effect the first day because your body hasn't had time to ramp up testosterone production to counter the estrogen, and being really fem at work -- fem gestures, etc. -- and the weird stares I was getting from the other guys there, LOL. And then when I listened to Stroke Sissy years later, my gestures also became feminine. And I know that all guys can behave like a woman when they want, so it's clearly in our brains. So while it isn't definitive, I tend to suspect that feminine gestures and speech are sitting in our brains next to the masculine ones, and that they can be triggered both by hormones and by the subconscious, the main difference being that when they're triggered by hormones you can't control them whereas when they're triggered by the subconscious you can suppress them (I've been doing that lately, I catch myself wagging my tail or such because of CFG and make myself stop because there are other people around). And I suspect that some guys are naturally effeminate and can't control their behavior (which corresponds with what I've heard from some fem guys) and that some guys may be that way due to early life experiences.