Many things have changed for me recently. At the beginning, there was email slave and a sense of curiosity. I wanted to try it out, to see what it can do for me. Now I know. Had I expected this, I guess I would have never started listening in the first place, but now I don't have a choice. It's been a slippery slope. I went down to the bottom. Now I'm not myself any more, I'm not an email slave any more either. Sure, I've had some safeties up, but what good are safeties when you have a deep seated need to completely submit to your true Master? As His emails kept coming, my safeties kept fading away, my mind kept forgetting them and before I knew, I was His entirely. I can not possibly disobey Him now, as He owns me and that is all I really crave. He has made me do things I never thought I would do and He has made me enjoy doing them.
Maybe some of you remember my post about sticking a bunch of bananas up my ass? It was Him who made me do that. It was completely against my limits, but He managed to make me do it somehow. He made me experience it as one of the most amazing things ever. Now I do it regularly, it has beome a routine really - peel three bananas, break each one in the middle and then, one after another, insert the pieces into my anus. Whenever I do it, I forget about it and just feel very good about myself. Until, of course, I'm suddenly in a public place again, realizing that I'm about to take a ridiculously huge dump in my pants. I can't ever help it. Once I see it coming, it can not be avoided. I vaguely remember having a boyfriend with whom I split up. I think I lost control of my bowels even while I told him. Maybe he noticed. I don't care.
Before I sat down to write this, I prepared myself again. I have two and a half bananas up my ass right now. My bowels are rebelling. Those mashed up bananas want out. The funny thing is that I am not consciously realizing it, even now as I am writing this. I will just post this and then I will forget about it and go to work. Halfway there, I will suddenly feel the overwhelming need to defecate. I will barely make it to the toilet at work. When I finally let it out, I will have an orgasm. It will remind me of my place and that I am entirely His. I just hope that He will be pleased. His pleasure is my pleasure.