by rgn » December 11th, 2010, 10:20 pm
"Dreams are highly stimulating with no release. Vivid. Realistic."
"constant arousal. you have urge to orgasm. thoughts filled with having orgasm. No orgasm allowed."
"Hands bound tightly behind back when thinking of having orgasm. but only when safe for you to be bound"
"are you bound?"
rgn:" "
"bondage releases when I contact you"
rgn:"yes, hands were tied"
"did you just realize your hands are tied or do you experience it"
rgn:"my hands are slowly drawn behind my back and secured when wrists touch"
"you know it enhances the experience if you struggle"
rgn:"makes it feel more secure?"
"yes"
rgn:"its already tight. no movement between wrists. none at all."
"good"
We had a quick discussion about the upcoming weekend. Both of us had busy schedules. ocntrl questioned about my plans, my boyfriend, how I would handle things with my boyfriend if he gets romantic, reminding me I would not have sexual release (my boyfriend is not aware of my erotic hypnosis activies, or to my knowledge, aware that I practice hypnosis at all. I had made ocntrl aware of this during our first IM encounter). ocntrl ended our session by stating our next IM session would be Sunday evening.
I seemed to be getting better at diverting my thoughts and manged to stay untied. I never realized how strongly arousal could build up in the body. Its not fading at all and somehow seems to get more intense as the evening passes. Most of the time it feels glorious, other times a bit annoying. Even little things that I typically find sexy, like a cute photo, causes a strong response. But strangely, even with the extremely high arousal, I did not get a full, hard, throbbing, erection. Just constantly semi-hard with tight ball sack. Driving my urge to fondle and stroke my swollen cock to climax (as I write this I now consider this a blessing, a full, throbbing, erection may have done me in). I found snug, stretchy, underwear provided me some satisfaction of being gently held. And it did a better job of containing all my oozing pre-cum. Something that has now become fairly constant throughout the day and night.
Bedtime was a completely new experience. Gone were the nice, slow, gentle strokes. It was indeed more intense. It took awhile for me to get settled down but finally started drifting away. I suddenly awoke with the strong sensation of energy coursing through my body. It was gone in an instant. I managed to doze off again fairly quickly. Again I was suddenly awakened with the same sensation. It actually felt nice, but I was tired from the long day. I just wanted some sleep! I made a third attempt at sleep and it happened a third time. I was at wit's end, so tired, so horny, couldn't sleep... I decided to divert my attention and catch up on some emails. I logged on. As I awaited for the login to complete, I started thinking about how hard and tight my balls felt, how aroused I still was, and oh how wonderful an orgasm would be! I felt my hands being gently pulled behind my back and securely bound... and it made me want to orgasm more... I was so tired... I just fell back into my chair... suddenly the familiar chirp sound...
"are you seriously still awake?"
rgn:"yes. i cant sleep. I keep waking up. its happened 2 or 3 times already. I thought I would read some emails and got tied up"
"tied up? so you were bound just now?"
rgn:"yes until you contacted me."
"I wonder how long you would have been bound if I had not checked on you?"
rgn:"I don't know... its probably been 10 minutes. I just can't stay asleep! I am so tired"
"sounds like you need a sleeping aid"
rgn:"yes please a sleeping aid would be good thank you"
"you no longer think of orgasm. bondage remains but since you no longer think of orgasm you will not be bound"
"sleep will be deep and restful. when you go to bed or are awakened, close your eyes and start counting backwa...."
I climbed in bed and began my countdown. To my releif, I could feel myself starting to relax. My mind began to clear as I went deeper. Feeling myself fading away while noticing the stimulation slowly increasing. The stimulation was like a distant memory as I kept drifting deeper, feeling more relaxed and content, until I finally lost all awareness.
I awoke later that morning a bit tired. Prepared to go to work, went to my computer to quickly check email and was greeted with an offline message. Suggestion reminders for today. It was very similar to last night except "you will experience constant stimulation" and "bondage will not interrupt or hinder sleep" were added and "you will think of orgasm" was reinstated. The day was quite busy with work followed by an evening out with friends. I was not concerned about being bound this day with my busy schedule occupying my thoughts. I discovered my subconscious interprets constant stimulation quite differently than constant arousal. Both keep me horny as hell. But some of the mild, unpleasant effects from previous days seemed to go away, like the occaisional burning and pressure sensations in the balls. Some of the other effects increased, like the pre-cum (I am pretty sure I will never learn to enjoy wearing damp underwear all day). Now there are different types of sensations, tingly senstaions that move along the genitals, slight stroking/pulling. Sensations move around, sometimes on the glans, sometimes on the shaft, sometimes on the balls, sometimes everywhere at same time. And they seem to be varying - sensations swap and their intensity varies. The only consistincy is that it never stops. Its a bit maddening at times being constantly stimulated. But I am finding it makes for an interesting work day.
I awoke the next morning in that dreamy state that takes a few minutes to shake. I felt much more rested than the last couple of mornings. I turned slightly and felt my semi-hard cock slip along the underside of the sheets. I let out a soft moan as I reached down for my cock and balls. I gave my tight ballsack a gentle squeeze as I slid my hand up along my shaft. My cock immediately became rock hard as the wonder full sensations spread out from my genitals. I gave myself a couple of strokes and felt that gentle pull on my hands. My free hand went first, I tried to resist with my stroking hand and got in a few more strokes before I lost grip of my cock. My hands became tightly tied behind my back. I pulled and strained. Nothing... but increased horniness! My body seemed to be enjoying this predicament. The more I struggled the more my cock throbbed. The more my cock throbbed, the more I wanted to orgasm. Wanting to orgasm is what got me here in the first place but my heightened sexual frustration seem to feed my desire to struggle against the bondage. And so I continued my struggles, trying to get enough cock stimulation to orgasm. The sexual energy building to the point of climax but I could not make it happen. No matter how I moved I could not get over the edge. Partially out of breath and feeling slightly defeated, I glanced at the clock, about 30 minutes had passed. I realized I needed to calm down and shift my attention away from sex. I tried repositioning myself on the bed to a more comfortable position, hoping I might be able to doze off again. I tried to think about my plans for the day. Nothing seemed to be working. I got frustrated and started struggling again. I looked at the clock. I had been bound almost 45 minutes. My cock still rock hard, throbbing, oozing pre-cum. I began thinking I may end up bound all day, my pent up desires had no intentions of fading. My boyfriend was coming over mid-afternoon and I was fairly sure the bondage would release when he arrived. But what if it did not? I was not sure how I would explain this. It had been almost an hour. I decided to get up and walk around the house to help move my thoughts from sex. I focused on my situation... a situation I asked for... a situation that not only excited me but was also starting to overwhelm me with frustration... Eventually I felt my hands being released.
I decided to send ocntrl a PM, Subject: aaarrrrggg!!, and explain the events of the day. I was not expecting to hear from him but I thought it would make me feel better to at least express my frustrations (and it did actually).
Later that evening I received another offline IM that included "constant stimulation will evoke bliss with ever increasing arousal, no pain, no thought of orgasm"
I started noticing the effects immediately. The slight aches and fullness in my balls subsided. The thoughts of orgasm ceased. The frustration started to fade even with the feeling of arousal growing. I quickly fell asleep that night and was welcomed with wonderful, soothing, sensations. It almost felt like floating in waves of pleasure! I woke up a few hours later to relieve myself. I decided to thank ocntrl and sent an offline message.
"I feel so peaceful and wonderful. I'm not exactly sure what is happening to me and I don't think I even care. Thank you for this"
The next morning I had his reply (by the way, this was the only IM I actually managed to save during this entire experience. I saw no reason to edit).
ocntrl: Continuous bliss is what you are evolving to
ocntrl: Unending waves of pleasure without any of your manifestations of orgasm
ocntrl: The concept of orgasm fading more and more to the background
ocntrl: A memory
ocntrl: So vague now
ocntrl: So distant
ocntrl: And you will start to notice a focus developing
ocntrl: A focus that steers you towards those thing you know you need to do
ocntrl: But the things you have never been able to commit to
ocntrl: like exercising
ocntrl: Eating healthy
ocntrl: Your focus shifts towards the most efficient use of your time
ocntrl: Knowing you will have more free time to enjoy the continuous bliss
ocntrl: Because your focus
ocntrl: Allows you to be so much more efficient in whatever you do
ocntrl: A focus that allows you to spend the exact time needed on a task to execute that task
ocntrl: And then have more fee time
ocntrl: For the endless continuous bliss you are experiencing now
ocntrl: Reading my words
ocntrl: You are turning on a path of self fullfilment
ocntrl: The bliss eliminating all objections disallowing to be your best self
ocntrl: You can and will become your best self
I went back to bed, basking in my ever increasing bliss, as I contently dozed off to sleep...