slutinmyhead wrote:Just deleted 14 recordings due to lack of feedback (6 yesterday and 8 today). There are more potentially on the chopping block.
Yes, I am feeling needy. Yes, I am feeling pissy. Just got dumped... I'm also feeling pissy about feeling needy.
If there are any of my recordings you particularly want others to be able to enjoy someday, now might be the time to speak up. I seriously almost deleted all of mine yesterday and am very close to going the route of Lady Rio and Sarnoga...
I do want to thank everyone who's listened over the years.
Slutinmyhead, I know exactly where you're coming from, since I've been there myself in other endeavors. I wish I could make
you a file that allows you to appreciate your own worth! Then use it on myself, LOL.
In my experience, your files are unparalleled in their craft and cleverness, and there's something lovable about your voice that makes them compelling in a very different way from the commanding tones of an EMG. (Of course, you also told me to love you, so I'm probably influenced by that as well. :-) ) And I wish you knew that, and perhaps more to the point, that those of us who have listened to them know it.
Judging by the number of downloads I see on files and the amount of discussion, only a tiny fraction of those who listen to them provide feedback. And I'm talking about files in general. A few files spawn an inordinate amount of discussion. I think yours are at the opposite extreme because they're subtler and in some sense more personal. I mean, I've blathered about Curse Forced Gay here often enough -- with that, it's natural to trade stories and advice. But your files, the ones I've listened to anyway, almost seem like something I don't want to discuss in a public forum. Their power is more personal. It feels more like a relationship with you. Something more intimate and personal and at the same time it involves a space that was created hypnotically and can't really be discussed objectively without making me anxious because it stresses the programming in the files, with their created scenarios and memories.
I'm living partly with the reality you've created for me. Half and half because I'm still working on going all the way into complete belief, as in you completely think stuff happened. But still half believed in that hypnotic way, and I feel I've damaged some of that and lost some of it even by discussing it this much, because I have to pull myself partly out of hypnotic belief. Not permanently, I hope.
I hope that makes some sense! I'm sort of writing what I feel as I feel it and it happens, within the constraints of not wanting to do too much damage to the hypnosis and other more personal ones as well. But I hope it also explains some of the reasons why the few of us who would comment on any file may be even less likely to comment on yours. It's precisely *because* your files have such a profound effect, yet one that's fragile because of the scenarios they create -- and because the feelings they elicit towards you are so personal.