"The Slave Within" - an erotic gay story

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"The Slave Within" - an erotic gay story

Postby bml7500 » August 24th, 2013, 11:50 am

Hi everyone. I was thinking of starting a story, an erotic gay story, based on the true events that I have witnessed between a Master and Slave.

Some themes I would like to depict are: staying true to oneself, learning from mistakes, how choices need to be made in life, how happiness can be found when you are not looking for it, and of course I wanna write some smokin hott scenes =P.

I'm lacking a bit of motivation to write this story because I know it's going to be very challenging because of my high standards. I also feel as if the story may become "too personal" to be liked by others and even myself.

Does anyone have suggestions?



This is what I want to be the open scene to be:

A soothing, yet commanding voice is heard in the distance...
"...And when I count to 3 you will awaken, but you will awaken feeling confident! Better than you've ever felt in your entire life, so full of energy. 1, 2, 3..."

"Wow did that really happen?" said Matt, bewildered in thought. "That... was amazing!... wow".

Matt pondered to himself slowly and carefully about the events of the night. He still felt a bit numb and tingly from getting off that roller coaster ride of emotions. He never thought hypnosis would feel like that.....



If this story doesn't come to fruition, I would still like to have the chance of giving credit to my Master. He has been such an inspiration in my life. I care for him as a slave should, with respect and dignity. I am proud to call this man my Master. I thank my Master "for giving me, not only the mental energy, but the calmness needed to conquer things. I'm now very hard working but calm when I do it and happy." He has "enlightened" me and shown me what it is like to have responsibility in my life - not only for Master, but for myself and the others around me.

I thank my Master with my mind and body. They belong to my Master, for I am his slave.
bml7500
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Postby Nate80 » August 24th, 2013, 9:13 pm

Ok, first, my browser crashed twice on me, but hopefully I've got it all this time - and it all makes sense.

The below should hopefully make writing more manageable.

Let's see, in no order:

Write because you want to (ok, if you're a Slave, you should also accept you write because your Master wants / tells you to), don't worry if no one else reads it or likes it (ok, Master's approval is probably a good idea :P).

Don't try to write it all in order, from the first page to the last page. You'll go mad. Write what you can, when you can. Get stuck? Move on and come back to it.

Similarly, don't worry about it being perfect the first time, or even in the first draft. (That's right, you'll do more than one before it's ready for public consumption)

The finished version will be monolithic, in order, that doesn't mean the prep work has to be.

I use a little trick of [ and ] to make comments / block out sections that need work. Useful for [really badly worded sentence / paragraph here] and [later that day] ("[" can be searched for on read throughs / reviewing)

If you find yourself rewriting something for the 3rd time, or staring at a screen for 10mins, [ ] it and move on

Similarly, if using a word processor like word or Libre Office, you can colour highlight to distinguish different reasons for the [ ] (e.g. badly worded, expression needs work or even "under construction")

[ ] is also useful for placeholders:
Lots of amazing text
[writer's block'd transition]
more amazing text
[placeholder for her introduction to her new Mistress. Possibly at a bar]
[More amazing text, but not quite worded right]

If you are prepared to grab some code versioning software (git can be made to work with odf files), this too can aid experimenting with sections (also, good for backing up work). Just remember to commit your work periodically and before / after large sections of work.

Don't be afraid to delete (or remove to another file) a whole chapter or day's work. Sometimes something just doesn't work out or fit. Or it won't work, but it's too good to lose. Maybe you can find a use for it later...

If your work is getting complicated (characters or plot arcs) break it out into multiple files covering each plot arc.

Consider writing bio's for the main characters (if only to keep their details / actions consistent), add to them as you go (but make a note of development vs starting characteristics)

Look up fiction writing sites, covert hypnosis and ericksonian hypnosis -
fiction writing: should be obvious, key story writing points like structure, character, dialogue etc
covert hypnosis : you want to invoke emotional responses and capture the reader's interests, without worrying about the formal induction ;)
ericksonian hypnosis: artfully vague, give them an idea and let them fill in the details:
"she shivered. The stone floor beneath her feet was uncomfortable to stand on. But not as uncomfortable as the leather harness her Mistress had made her wear"
We don't tell the reader what the floor looks like, or what the harness looks like, but the reader has enough to build the mental image

That said, setting the scene is acceptable, as is getting your Characters to do the description work for you -
"Would you look at the ass on him! And those muscles! Woof!"
Or
The sight sent a shiver up her spine, the dungeon furniture was mostly wood and leather. Her eyes wandered around the room. Toys and implements, whips and paddles, were neatly arranged on shelves and tables. Above the drain hole in the centre of the concrete floor hung a pair of manacles, suspended from the ceiling by heavy metal chains.
A feeling of dread started to creep up her back as she felt her Mistress's firm hand on her shoulder.

Use your imagination and then say what you see

Structure wise, identify your key plot / character points and then build out from there, adding a mix of smaller sub plots and diversions as you go*. Don't see these as absolute though, ideas change and evolve, so will your writing, so be open and flexible to changing or adapting ideas. As mentioned above, you can always move something out for use in another story.
*writing composition does not have to be linear, so you can always get the main story line written and then fill in the smaller details later.

Cheat wholesale:
Ask your Master to load you up on creativity, inspiration, expression, motivation, enjoying writing and writing skill suggestions. After all, WMM has a sister site geared more for personal development ;)
If you have a tist Master, the motivation thing should be a bit of a no brainer :P

Hope this helps.
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Postby Nate80 » August 24th, 2013, 9:50 pm

Without getting into personal views and approach to hypnosis too much, basically, I find the words used are more or less notes of music on a page. So will leave the specific words / methods to your Master, but hopefully the below will give you an idea of what you could set up.

Less is probably more in the long run - a few well placed suggestions could be more potent than brute force spamming "I enjoy writing" or similar every 5 minutes.


Sample day in the life:
(Secretly reinforces - your Master has set these actions up as subconscious triggers that reinforce the suggestions at a subconscious level)

Wake up : Secretly reinforces "The more I write, the more creative I am" (Seriously, do you realise how much writing you do in a day, texting, email, quick notes, forum posts :P)

Have breakfast : secretly reinforces "I enjoy writing and find time to work on my stories every day" (if necessary, have Master get you to regularly have breakfast :P, but one daily habit chaining you to enjoy another one)

Sitting down to write : Say to yourself (though ideally out loud) "I write to demonstrate my devotion and gratitude to my Master", followed by spending a minute or two imagining how pleased your Master is when you present a bound copy of the final draft.
(Reaffirms the main reason you want to write this story and future paces a positive result)

Going to bed: Secretly reinforces "I am grateful to myself and my Master that I find writing so enjoyable"(One to work as you sleep, reinforces enjoying writing and gratitude to your Master. Also to your own mind's efforts on writing)


Ok, also, I tend to prefer my affirmations to be done automatically at the subconscious level - just takes all the hard work out of it ;)
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Postby bml7500 » August 27th, 2013, 5:56 am

Thanks Nate80 for posting so many suggestions. You went up and beyond what I was looking for. I take value from many of the things you said. I like how much detail you gave me.

I would also like to let you know that I did get approval from my Master to write a story before I wrote or posted anything. This is not a command from my master to write this story. He is simply encouraging me to do it.

What I've realized after thinking about it more, is that I'm not ready to write this story. I've become very busy recently and this story will be too much of a distraction. It's not a priority, but a hobby. I thank you for all the things you said because if I ever decide to come back to this story, I will have a more concise outlook on what I want to write.

I will definitely consider writing again in the future and coming back to this. Thanks once again.
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