The forced gay success thread...

[Thahlos]

hi i am nineteen years old and still go to school after some on and off listening (which was a half year ago and only after this it makes me a bit bi) I decided to listening it everyday. I just listened it today and it makes me impossibe horny. I try to give you a lot of updates.
Sorry for my english, i am from germany

[pussycat100]

Update after 3 weeks of CFG and I think its really starting to have an major effect on me. I haven't had any desire to watch straight porn in a long time. the biggest thing I've noticed is the different kinds of emotions in general that I've never felt before. It seems like all the things I've repressed in the past are all surfacing at the same time which is amazing. It's as if CFG freeing the real me which was buried and hidden. Maybe it has something to do with the association of being gay and not being afraid to show feelings.

I feel like the thing which CFG has the most resistance to are the slowest to change. For example I put a much higher priority on losing my attraction to women than to gain attraction to men. And it seems to be playing out that way as I'm already looking at women as being much more mundane and less interesting physically. When I look at nude women all I can think of is that it's kind of awkward and that they need to put some clothes on. But when I see fit men sometimes I tend to mentally undress them and try to imagine exactly what is causing that nice bulge in their pants.

Another thing I noticed is that everything slowly builds up in your subconscious without you realizing it and suddenly it hits you in one form or another. Sometimes you are having idle thoughts and wonder why you thought a certain guy was cute. Or sometimes you find yourself flirting with a guy unconsciously.

For me the process is definitely not overnight and I'm not sure if anyone else has had this happen but there are times when the subconscious seems to rebel against the programming for a period of time. And there seems to be kind of a reverse effect. Maybe it just takes a little bit of time for everything to settle but then all of a sudden it all comes back full force and more.

Anyway I'll keep updating as things change
xoxo Bye until next time.

[subdad36]

Great updates and it is good to see all is not lost on here. It has been 2 months for me, but i haven't had as much time lately, so my average is way down, lol.
For me, like a lot of folks on here, it is hard to believe how far i have come in just 2 months. I have been doing this along with jock files and working out, and the difference is awesome. i feel way better about myself, dress way better (actually concerned every time i dress. that's wild), i am buying all new, tighter/fashionable clothes, and identify myself as totally gay. It is awesome. Freeing, and scary, in a lot of ways.
Northpole-the fantasies you are having about kissing and running your hands all over are even better in real life. I was never really into this stuff, but now it is soooo amazing. I couldn't stop either when I was with a guy i see regularly the last few times. :)
Oxy, you are so right about there being many more places to meet guys. Damn, just walk around. I get so many more smiles and flirts now. it's awesome
Pussycat, i go through cycles where i feel more and less. I think it has to do with me not wanting to dislike women any more. I just want to be only attracted to men. I fight with that all the time. I am also waaaaay more emotional now. it is very freeing, but can be a bit embarrasing (i well up at some pretty stupid stuff, lol. my kids have busted me). It is mostly, if not all, good emotion. but there is a lot of it sometimes, lol. the full force thing is way cool :)
peace all

[santi777]

It's great to hear about your wonderful experiences, SubDad;)
I now consider myself to be pretty much completely gay. I find myself thinking about guys so much now! The good thing is for me;)...i've become really comfortable dressing up in female clothes. I think the file opens your mind a lot and you can then become the gay guy you were meant to be!
Others have turned into more of a masculine gay jock but that's not really for me...lol;)

My relationships with women are really great too!!! I have two close female friends and it feels so wonderful to talk to them about stuff. I am definitely more emotional now and i get a lot of pleasure from listening to them and being supportive if they have any problems. They are always there for me too!!! Our favorite subject is often guys...of course...lol;)

[ftslave67]

SubDad, you sound like an awesome guy--I predict you're going to make someone very happy! :D

[subdad36]

thanks guys. i wish it were that easy. i have 2 kids that are 14 and 11. tough ages for me to be heaping this on, esp with my older who has had a rough go lately. i have them full time, so what i do impacts them pretty seriously. the small, conservative Yankee town we live in doesn't help either, lol. it's all good, though-i like the masc gay guy that i am and that in and of itself takes care of a lot of things. everything else in due time.
(esp the weekend planned in NYC with a guy for january if i can ever pull that one off....)

[xiaoweixiao]

After a couple weeks of listening without any resisting/ distracting thoughts. CFG is starting to work really effective on me and recently I went on a gay site for hook ups and actually ended up meeting one guy a lil older than me and had sex. I was never thinking that a file can be soo powerful that it literaly changed my thoughts and the way i percieve things in a very profound way.... I invited the guy to my place and we seshed a bit and started to make out in my room, i was so turned on and tingly when we were actually making out... The affair was really wild and I even ended up shaking and cumming a whole tons without even touching myself! when the guy left he told me that we should meet soon and I couldnt believe i agreed and i will say 2 or 3 months ago I was not even thinking about guys and now it literaly turned my sexuality i think... im not really dat interested in female body anymore and when i watch some straight porn i found i look at the guy more than the girl... The most surprising thing is that CFG made all these things happen so damn natural and I feel like I cant and dont wanna go back... I think CFG has changed me so much.

For people who have difficulties in going into EMG's trance, here are a few things i found effective on inducing a trance:
1. Dont have opposing thoughts cuz that kinda keeps u away from being able to go into trance... as one of my previous posts, I was a bit hesitating on if I really am gonna give in and listen and follow.
2. Try to focus on breathing at the very begining of the file and also make sure you listen and actually hear what EMG says, it is helpful to read script before so you get used to the drill and follow his words easier.
this really helped me and once you feel like you are kinda zoning out just breath naturally and keep listening without any thoughts, i found this really helped me getting into a deep state where CFG puts its subconcious power into my brain to alter my future behavior and thoughts.
3. I first listen to EMG's "accelerator", then "blank" and finally CFG in a chronological ordor, this helps me really get into the trance and stay in it.

I will keep listening and see how things go. :D

[AlanH26]

Merry Christmas to all you fabulous turnees. Hope your yuletide festivities are merry and gay!

Mwah xxx

[gayblake]

Just took the plunge and bought cfg, just couldn't resist. I'm not completely gay yet, I still have some attractions to girls. Hopefully soon it will be all gay!

[gayblake]

Well as you all probably know already I've just started with cfg. I've tried other hypnosis before this, but I'm hoping cfg can take me all the way. Firstly I'm a youngish twinky looking guy who has flirted with the idea of being gay in the past. I've always had a strong attraction to females too, but I'm hoping to eliminate it and go exclusively gay. I've started today by getting rid of all my straight pornography and going exclusively gay pornography. Also starting to listen to cfg at least once a day for the next month, starting Jan . My new years resolution is to go completely gay for the month of January. This will include only gay pornography, listening to cfg, no fantasies of women, and anal play. I'm hoping I can make it all the way through, I'm getting a head start on it today as the cfg file came today, so I will keep you updated and hopefully soon I will also be a turnee!

[gayblake]

Hi there, it's the morning after my first day and boy that was quite the day! I listened to cfg 5 times throughout the day and before bed time. I came once yesterday while looking at hot guys yesterday, and it felt really good. Listen to cfg again when I woke up and now I'm super horny and can't stop thinking about guys! I'm on my way, but the real test will be to see if I can make it all the way till February, and if I do, will I still be able to get off to women. Until tomorrow have fun all you turnees!

[Blankslate235]

Ok...I finally did it.
I went through and listened.
First 'Curse' file I've listened to.
It did feel more intense compared to some other files.
A nice feeling overall, not really feeling any different (I know it wouldn't work that fast) I might give it one or two more times and see.

I doubt it could really affect me much - especially since I don't really want
the change, even though he say it doesn't matter if your willing or not, it must begin with some level of wanting it to work?

We'll see how this goes.

[Dreamin4Men]

Ok...I finally did it.
I went through and listened.
First 'Curse' file I've listened to.
It did feel more intense compared to some other files.
A nice feeling overall, not really feeling any different (I know it wouldn't work that fast) I might give it one or two more times and see.

I doubt it could really affect me much - especially since I don't really want
the change, even though he say it doesn't matter if your willing or not, it must begin with some level of wanting it to work?

We'll see how this goes.

You're so naive ;). If you listen frequently it can actually convince you that you do want it to work. I had a similar mindset as yours when I started... if you really don't want to be gay I'd stop now. I've been insatiably horny for men for 6 straight months. Beware...

[gayblake]

Hello there, this is my second update so far. I listened to cfg six times yesterday, I'm hoping the increased amount I'm listening will speed up the effects. I came once yesterday while thinking on hot guys, and I even ate my cum after. Overall I think cfg is having an effect on me, like when I was in trance this morning, and listening I was thinking "this is definitely working". I couldn't help but thinking that if it works I could always go back to women if I want, then realizing if it really does work I won't even want to go back, and I honestly didn't care, I just kept going deeper into cfg! Anyway I will keep you updated on my progress, and enjoy the journey guys!

[Blankslate235]

Listened some more. Very intense.
Not sure how I long will be doing this file.
So far no changes. Feels good listening though.

[Blankslate235]

dreamerrj: How long did you listen? Did you want the change or did you try to reverse it?

[Dreamin4Men]

dreamerrj: How long did you listen? Did you want the change or did you try to reverse it?

I listened on and off for 6 months or so at first. At that point I hadn't noticed any change at all. 2 months after that I got curious and ended up trying it out again. For whatever reason, I was super into it this go around. From this point on I was trying to listen at least twice a day.

I still hadn't noticed any changes, and I didn't consider it gay to listen to it. Honestly my real purpose of listening was just to use the precum I spit up while under trance as lube.

After a month or so of regular listening, allll of the gay feelings that I thought I didn't have hit me like a ton of bricks. I really had no idea where the feelings came from, but it was such an amazing feeling. I assume I listened to it so much that I didn't even have a chance to reverse it. And I don't even know why I would want to reverse it. The gay thoughts I have thanks to this file give me absolute sexual bliss. Good luck boi :-)

[gayblake]

Hello again, just finished listening to my cfg wake up, and figured I'd start with my daily update. Day three was pretty tough, not that broke down or anything, but I questioned whether or not I should go on. I ended deciding that I better just go ahead and do it, and that way I can know for sure if it works. If I quit now I'd just end up coming back again and again, so I figured why not give it my all this time so I can really test it out. Looked at a lot of gay pornography yesterday, and I came twice to it. Also I listened at least six times to cfg as well. I think it's taking effect, but I really won't know till I test out my attraction to women again in February. Until tomorrow have fun!

[Fomicry]

Hello again, just finished listening to my cfg wake up, and figured I'd start with my daily update. Day three was pretty tough, not that broke down or anything, but I questioned whether or not I should go on. I ended deciding that I better just go ahead and do it, and that way I can know for sure if it works. If I quit now I'd just end up coming back again and again, so I figured why not give it my all this time so I can really test it out. Looked at a lot of gay pornography yesterday, and I came twice to it. Also I listened at least six times to cfg as well. I think it's taking effect, but I really won't know till I test out my attraction to women again in February. Until tomorrow have fun!

Great post, hope you stay on our side ^_^
Who needs girls.

[gayblake]

Thanks Fomicry! I'm gonna try my hardest to stay on the good side, I'm with you girls are gross!

[subdad36]

gayblake, you will def have days where you will feel a lot more straight and days that you feel way more gay. that's the way it seems to be for a lot of folks. it is for me. way gay day today and it is awesome. may have something to do with the fact that the guy i am now seeing is away and has kept me from releasing, lol. he got home today and i feel like a high-schooler i am so excited. it is so awesome.
here is a weird one, though. i have always been a bottom in this whole deal whenever i have been with a guy. this one wants us to flip, and now i can;t get my mind or dick off the idea of fucking him. i don't know which i want more, lol.
good luck and enjoy, it's awesome

[Blankslate235]

When I woke up today, my first thought seemed to be that I should have a listen to the file which felt kinda odd. I pushed the thought away though, at least for now.

[OxyFemboi]

blankslate wrote
Ok...I finally did it.
I went through and listened.
First 'Curse' file I've listened to.
It did feel more intense compared to some other files.
A nice feeling overall, not really feeling any different (I know it wouldn't work that fast) I might give it one or two more times and see.

I doubt it could really affect me much - especially since I don't really want
the change, even though he say it doesn't matter if your willing or not, it must begin with some level of wanting it to work?

We'll see how this goes.

* * * * * *

When I woke up today, my first thought seemed to be that I should have a listen to the file which felt kinda odd. I pushed the thought away though, at least for now.

Dude, you need to listen. Thoughts like that subconscious urging will help you manifest the file's suggestions.

I doubt it could really affect me much - especially since I don't really want the change, even though he say it doesn't matter if your willing or not, it must begin with some level of wanting it to work?

Yeah, dude. Every one of us thought that way one time or another about some file we listened to just for ... whatever. :twisted:

[gayblake]

Well I'm still going, and honestly I can't believe how good I feel. I don't know what exactly it is, whether it's the trance or how much more horny I am but it feels great. Just finished listening to cfg twice this morning, I'm really getting into it. Yesterday was day four in my journey, can't believe I'm starting my fifth day already. It was a good day yesterday, lots of gay thoughts all the time now. I used to daydream about girls I liked, now I've been doing itwhile thinking of guys, and it doesn't feel wrong. I used to think I'd never be anything more than sexually attracted to men, but I'm starting to imagine a relationship with a man, and it actually is quite appealing. I've been listening to cfg a lot throughout, I think six times again yesterday, and I think it's having an effect, can't wait to finish the journey and see. Until tomorrow have a good day all you turnees.

Blankslate, just go ahead and keep listening, it's a lot of fun, like discovering your sexualityall over again.

[gayblake]

Hi there, day five has come and went and I'm still going. I'm beginning to realize how long of a journey this is going to be. Tomorrow will be the new year and I'll be almost done a week already, crazy I never thought I'd make it longer than a couple days. I've been sticking with what I've been doing, lots of gay porn and of course cfg. Changes seem to be taking hold but I will know for sure at the end. One thing I've found interesting is that when. I'm looking at guys now I find myself wanting to do things that I used to want to do with women, like kissing their body, smelling their private areas as well as licking, and making out. I'm really liking the progress, so I'm definitely continuing, until tomorrow have fun!

[gayblake]

Happy New Year all you turnees out there! Just finished with my morning cfg and starting out on my seventh day. After tomorrow it will be a week since I started and I am loving it! Been constantly thinking about guys lately and watching a ton of gay porn, and I'm really appreciating the guys a lot more. I've had a few thoughts of stopping but I quickly put those aside and decided continuing is best.

To all of you considering taking the plunge into cfg I highly recommend it, it doesn't look like I'll be turning back so it works as advertised. Well until tomorrow have a great and gay new year, I know will!

[JohnDave]

Hiya guys

I started a 60 day challenge in October, and posting daily updates. The reason I've stopped posting daily updates is that it got to 60 days and I still liked women :'-( and I don't want to disappoint you guys

I'm still attracted to boobs, and I do like cock too, I guess it's 45%-55% now...

...I've been thinking of a different strategy :-) Perhaps if I continue with CFG, but 'gay it up' in my life as well, like, surround myself with ?stereotypically? gay things that the vibes would have a second route to my subconscious.

My end goal is to truly fly the flag, love women only as friends, and find men attractive. I was thinking easy steps may be to buy magazines, and listen to certain music... Do you have any other ideas?

x

[gayblake]

Hiya guys

I started a 60 day challenge in October, and posting daily updates. The reason I've stopped posting daily updates is that it got to 60 days and I still liked women :'-( and I don't want to disappoint you guys

I'm still attracted to boobs, and I do like cock too, I guess it's 45%-55% now...

...I've been thinking of a different strategy :-) Perhaps if I continue with CFG, but 'gay it up' in my life as well, like, surround myself with?stereotypically? gay things that the vibes would have a second route to my subconscious.

My end goal is to truly fly the flag, love women only as friends, and find men attractive. I was thinking easy steps may be to buy magazines, and listen to certain music... Do you have any other ideas?

x

JohnDave,

Wow sixty days that's awesome! Anyway what I've found has helped me so far is inundating myself with gay thoughts, like fantasies about guys, telling myself I am gay, identifying as gay, and lots of cfg! Keep trying and don't give up, it's such an amazing time, at least I'm having one.

[ftslave67]

JohnDave--just be honest with yourself & no one is going to fault you. My advice would be maybe just don't think about it so much, just let whatever happens happen. You might just meet the love of your life, and he might be a man. You're already open to the possibility, obviously. :)

[Blankslate235]

Gave in and listened again. Not sure I should be doing this even though at least the idea of being addicted to this file and not knowing what if anything it will do to me. One thing I noticed was a lingering feeling of...something? It lasted a few hours or so.

[dwm58mich]

PostPosted: Sun Jan 04, 2015 4:51 am Post subject: CFG Reply with quote

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I started listening to this file on the recommendation of a friend...

He and I met a few years ago online and we meet periodically for some erotic activities. Of the two of us, I've probably been having sex with men for a longer period of time after starting out slowly at first.

My friend is really into hypnosis. In fact, I let him hypnotize me once and I liked the feelings when I was under. It was after a few sessions, that I told him I wanted more.

He introduced me to this site and my first experience was with a file that made me a woman whenever I slipped on some lingerie. I bought a black lacy bra and panties online and it never fails to arouse me whenever I put them on.

Lately we've been listening to this curse forced gay file together. I really notice the anticipation. Occasionally, our legs or arms may brush the other while listening and a bolt of excitement shoots into my body whenever we touch. When the file is done, we have had some incredible sex. I like to suck and swallow his cock and he likes to return the favor. Lately, I can't get enough of him. I have to have him more and more. We like to shower together and now I like to feel his hard cock between my legs as he teases me all over. We kiss lightly in the shower and that drives me wild.

I am looking forward to more and more of him in the future. I have never swallowed him after he shoots and now I have to have it. I can't wait to feel him spasm with my lips on his cock, hear him moan and then feel the warm fluid erupt into my mouth. I will savor the taste and then I will swallow every drop.

Thanks to this file!

[subjerseyguy]

I don't know if it's just me, but I feel like this file also puts me in a submissive mindset. Definitely not in the role of a top. I am soon curious as to what's going to happen when I finally give in and go looking to meet someone. I've been having urges.to visit an ABS but I have been doing my damnedest to resist. I guess I'm afraid at how.far I would let myself go. Anyone else feel like this or is it just me?

[subdad36]

I don't know if it's just me, but I feel like this file also puts me in a submissive mindset. Definitely not in the role of a top. I am soon curious as to what's going to happen when I finally give in and go looking to meet someone. I've been having urges.to visit an ABS but I have been doing my damnedest to resist. I guess I'm afraid at how.far I would let myself go. Anyone else feel like this or is it just me?

subjersey guy, this file def puts me in a submissive mood, but that is natural for me now. I think it brings out what you like because you enjoy it so much. it has absolutely heightened my fascination with/desire for large cocks. It is something i encouneterd in real life and it put me in another place, and i have been a bit gaga since starting this file, lol.
When you give in and go looking for someone you are going to love it! I can't believe how much i dig all of this now. i am in such a better mood overall now, it's awesome. Don't worry about how far you may go, just enjoy what you are doing and the new and incredible feelings you will have. It is so much better than i thought it would be.

[subjerseyguy]

Subdad36 - thank you for writing that. It makes me feel a little less stressed out about how I've been feeling. Part of its been the submissive feelings, part of its been the artraction to men, and from me part of it has actually been an emssculation of sorts. I still don't know what it all is leading me to ultimately, but I can feel I am getting closer.and.closer to wanting to act upon it and explore.

[rigsby]

My end goal is to truly fly the flag, love women only as friends, and find men attractive. I was thinking easy steps may be to buy magazines, and listen to certain music... Do you have any other ideas?

If you can be intimate with other guys, and be open about that fact, I'd say you're qualified enough to 'fly the flag.' Remember that hardly anyone is 100% gay (or 100% straight).

For example, I'm not at all repulsed by the idea of hetero sex, but it's just not something that I have any interest in pursuing since taking up cfg. (And because I live and work in environments with male majorities in the adult population, it works out perfectly for me.)

[ftslave67]

subjerseyguy--by emasculation, you mean what? you feel less masculine? sex drive suppressed? I don't know why that would be, since there are definitely many gay guys that are both hyper-masculine & hyper-sexual. Maybe this particular file doesn't "fit" or just doesn't work for you. I don't think it should stress you out.

[subjerseyguy]

ftslave67 -

No, I don't feel like my sex-drive is suppressed. Not by long shot - in fact, it is just the opposite. I feel completely submissive, and with the idea of submissiveness, I get this feeling that I can only describe as a feminine quality as well. If I had to describle it, the label "The weaker sex" is what immediately pops to mind. Do not get me wrong. Im not sayng its a good or bad thing at all. I am just a little nervous because I am a forward thinker, and always see several moves ahead in my mind, no matter the situation. And I see this direction as leading to a lot of sexual and "taboo" or kinky possibilities I never considered before.

[ftslave67]

Hmmm, that's interesting. You know some people consider females to be the stronger sex!

emasculate definition from google: make (a person, idea, or piece of legislation) weaker or less effective.

I enjoy submissive feelings myself (obviously), and I guess feeling kind of weak or under another man's power is part of that. That kind of ties in to the hypnosis fetish.

[AlanH26]

It's interesting to see ththe pattern that emerges with CFG. For a long time, since I was turned into a Queen, I've noticed that men approch the file with curiosity, talk about their new found need for cock early on, chat for a while then disappear. It seems to be the way of it. I hope those pioneers have found the men of their dreama and are living happy lives now xx

[JohnDave]

It's interesting to see ththe pattern that emerges with CFG. For a long time, since I was turned into a Queen, I've noticed that men approch the file with curiosity, talk about their new found need for cock early on, chat for a while then disappear. It seems to be the way of it. I hope those pioneers have found the men of their dreama and are living happy lives now xx

I had a great night with a friend at new year, we ended up sleeping together, lots of foreplay, BJs etc, but when he tried to fuck me he just *cough* didn't measure up... I feel like when I finally take a man deep inside me, that's when I'll be gay forever

[joe-cat1]

Its taken a long time for me. things stalled and i made no progress but now the feelings of attraction for... :oops: hot guys is getting very intense.

Im still scared of being gay, but i am watching more and more porn with guys sucking, fucking, blowing, rimming, etc. also a lot of very kinky stuff involving submission and humiliation.

:oops: :oops: :oops:

[subjerseyguy]

Its taken a long time for me. things stalled and i made no progress but now the feelings of attraction for... :oops: hot guys is getting very intense.

Im still scared of being gay, but i am watching more and more porn with guys sucking, fucking, blowing, rimming, etc. also a lot of very kinky stuff involving submission and humiliation.

:oops: :oops: :oops:

Joe-Cat -

See now answer me this - the submission stuff - do you see yourself as a dom or a sub (bottom) role? I haven't heard really from anyone that had experiences with this file that ended up being dominant or a top. Its usually been on the receiving end. And god help me, I feel the same way.

[joe-cat1]

definitely see myself as the submissive partner.

[AlanH26]

True that. I've always been very submissive since I turned.

[hunkhunter]

First time posting here. Make no doubt about this file can make a man submissive. Last summer I was a gay man in the closet (have since came out) my roommate was a dominate, aggressive straight guy with a girlfriend who also was bit of gay basher always talking bad about gay men. His attitude had left me with a desire to conquer him sexually well that and the fact how hot he is. When I discovered CFG I had a devilish if not a slight bit risky idea I played it every night well he slept for close to three months and well.. now I just don't have a roommate, but a very submissive, very hot boyfriend.

I'll admit it was not exactly ethical to use CFG on him like that, but I just recently came clean with him and he was not upset at all in fact it kind of shocked me he actually thanked me for turning him gay. :D

[ftslave67]

jersey, why "god help me"? what's wrong with that?! Knowing what you want is the first step toward enjoying it. Set yourself free. Don't take on the guilt the world is so willing to weigh you down with.

[subjerseyguy]

jersey, why "god help me"? what's wrong with that?! Knowing what you want is the first step toward enjoying it. Set yourself free. Don't take on the guilt the world is so willing to weigh you down with.

I get what you are saying. And I wasn't trying to.run away from things or let guilt weigh me down. It's just that I have never had an experience with another male other than seeing them through the window at an ABS. And as submissive and horny as I have been feeling, my gut is telling me that if I were.to go to an ABS at this point, all my inhibitions would be gone and I wouldnt be able to stop myself from doing some really wild and kinky stuff Without question. That definitely unnerves me to know I could/will lose control lime that. However, it doesn't keep me from thinking about it constantly, either....

[ftslave67]

Sorry for my ignorance, but what's an "ABS"?

[subjerseyguy]

Sorry for my ignorance, but what's an "ABS"?

sorry - in new jersey i guess thats the slang for adult bookstore.

[AlanH26]

jersey, why "god help me"? what's wrong with that?! Knowing what you want is the first step toward enjoying it. Set yourself free. Don't take on the guilt the world is so willing to weigh you down with.

I get what you are saying. And I wasn't trying to.run away from things or let guilt weigh me down. It's just that I have never had an experience with another male other than seeing them through the window at an ABS. And as submissive and horny as I have been feeling, my gut is telling me that if I were.to go to an ABS at this point, all my inhibitions would be gone and I wouldnt be able to stop myself from doing some really wild and kinky stuff Without question. That definitely unnerves me to know I could/will lose control lime that. However, it doesn't keep me from thinking about it constantly, either....

Just do it sweetie. You'll feel better once you have. Your head will clear and all doubt and reservations will be gone.