Possibly freaked out but also happy with gender wipe2 file

[ThatoneGurll]

ok so.. after having alot of issues with feminization hypnosis
and it not working too well on me,
or it working until I stop listening to it

(even subliminal feminization worked on me but it wore off over time)

I had success.
The file in question is gender wipe 2.
I've been listening now for probably a few weeks.

I first started noticing a conflict with my self image getting stronger.

perhaps the reason feminization hypnosis didn't work on me before too strongly is because I had conflicts around expressing myself as female to people and alot of feminization hypnosis focuses strongly on that.
I don't believe people around me would accept me as female and i can't exactly get away from their eyes right now.

So now the effects are getting even stronger.
A few notes: (I have sort of a multiple people in one body situation only thing is I'm not the original and neither is the other one)
That's all people really need to know right now.
Hypnosis seems to bypass both of us though and effect the mind itself..
which is slightly undesired. But whatever.
Soo..

I've began to notice my muscles and whole body feel different.
Less tense..softer.
Maybe not soft like to the touch but softer somehow.
My head... has these strange sensations in it
that are really really strong.
I recognize them from other feminization hypnosis files I used , I used to listen to them for hours and hours and hours and I"d notice
these wierd butterfly like sensations in my head. I can't quite describe it other than it feels like a difference in my mental state that's very extreme.
But i get physical sensations to..

so now my body right now feels like it's a bit shaky.
I feel strong impulses but i can't tell what the impulses are.
My thinking is becoming unravelled and seems to be changing.
My view of my entire life seems to be changing and being
refactored.
Maybe, there was previous suggestions instilled in me centered around "what being female is"
and I'm feeling it all come back. I don't know.
I've been listening to feminization files very consistently some of them even caused me to want to dress female all the time and I would end up waking up and trying to do just that even around people I know.
it didn't last very long though. even with continued use of the files I developed a strange resistance to it.

There's this strange sort of dizzy sensation that's constant now.
It's mellowing me out and making me want to behave differently.
There's no really "pre defined" ways of behaving that I have urges to act out. I just feel really wierd.. and gooey and mushy emotionally. but also more focused..

I've been feeling quite confused about my state of mind. I feel like I can't do anything to stop this now... and I really don't want to. I'm really happy that something's began to take this strong of a hold on me.
I'm in a wierd sort of "what now" place in my mind like I don't know how much further this can go.
I want it to go further but feels like it's already breaking my mind in a way (in a good way) and forcing me to face certain inner conflicts.
The file seems to bring me closer to the mentality of a teenager
which is fine cause I pretty much already have that mentality.
Certain memories seem far away now..
I think I might be forgetting my body's past identity (my mind might be doing some kind of reset) I don't know.

I don't like the feeling of not knowing or understanding what's happening to me. But I like the feeling of the changes happening.

I put a post in my journal about my last intense experience which I suspect was caused by this file.

Here's the link to it:
http://www.warpmymind.com/modules.php?name=Journal&file=display&jid=5332

And people can feel free to read my journal anytime. Comments are welcome.
Note: not all the writings in there are me but most of them are at this point. XP (as I said I have a sort of multiple person in one body situation)

I don't know what i'm going to do..
I'm probably not ever going to be able to stop this.
The file is powerful and I under estimated it.
I already feel like i've been changed very very drastically.
there's only a bit of mental masculinity left in my head and mentality.
It's going away.. atleast it seems to be.
Are some of my memories that would cause me to feel like a guy going away to?
I have moral issues around forgetting certain sets of memory..
The file isn't erasing my memories so to speak but it seems like anything relating to being male in my head is getting replaced or destroyed.. very agressively.

I can sense a female presence in my head influencing me.
it's not the other one who's with me in my body.
There are suggestions in the file that all this stuff will happen that my inner female voice will influence me etc.
But this 'voice' feels younger than my body.
more ready and willing to accept anything than I am.
it's me but it's not.
I'm a bit confused as to this imagry the file creates.
Maybe because my mind can partially dis associate things with enough practice that's what it interpreted those commands to do. I don't really know though.

At this point... I'm ready to just go out dressed as a girl.
Buut.. I don't believe i'd pass. And this is probably the one and only very last thing stopping me.
I don't even care if people recognize me as the same person anymore.
This file is making me re think my whole self and life.

My only other worry is that if my "inner female" is effecting me and making it stronger/her stronger. And turning me INTO my inner female does that mean i'll be stuck in control and the other person I share this body with won't be able to get control?

I'm not really sure of anything at this point. My reality's kind of becoming a blur.
I feel like my personality is changing , and I can't even do anything about it anymore. All the female things in my mind are coming out in me...
here's the real confusing part.
I don't really have a strong distinguishment between females or males aside from how I feel girls act compared to guys. But there's only a few specific differences that I can't describe because they would take place in situations or scenarios.

Not being a female physically, I can't get into those scenarios to act out those behaviors anyways.. because i'd have to LOOK like a girl and be accepted as a girl by others externally for those situations to play out...

and worse.. i'm not a teenager.. but those ideas of what a girl actually is seem more based for me around what a teenage girl is like than what a mature or adult female is like.

I've always been mentally a teenager in my head, that's how I see myself. I don't really see myself as adult.. even though I end up acting very adult in certain situations.. I don't believe I would even bother acting adult if I wasn't prompted to by others around me in the first place.

All these types of thoughts swirling around in my head..
And I feel smaller , every single day.. physically smaller and more slender.
I haven't hallucinated i'm a girl in front of the mirror yet or had any kind of detachments from what my body's five senses are telling me..
but the way sensations feel to me.. and the way i react to my environment is definitely changing.

I am really really hoping this doesn't stop happening to me and that it leads me to eventually passing as a girl and going out being brave and happy to be me.

(note that these files shouldn't be used specifically for theraputic purposes this is just my case)
but.. I'm hoping more than anything right now
that I get out of this sorta spot in limbo where i'm questioning it all
and it just effects me and i won't be able to question it anymore.
I have an analytical mind kind of.

Has anyone else ever dreamed they were hypnotized after listening to a file the previous evening??

Answer in the poll.

The worst thing about this is like I said I have this sort of
multi personality thing going on.
The worst thing about this is that..
I'm a bit scared that i'm developing a third "self" or a projected "self image" which will take over who I am and over write my personality.
That is infect my personality and change ME leaving the other one un changed (which would be fine)
but if it makes me too strong of a person than what's gonna happen to her? Will she have a harder time taking over.

I'm wondering if it'll just effect her in the same way when she's in control.. but in a way unique to her.
Since the file plays off a person's perceptions of stuff.
And lastly I'm really hoping all this stuff is more from subliminal things that put into the file and not anything that was previously taught to me about being female by other hypnosis files.

And for those of you worried, no I never listened to female takeover.
I did consider it, but I don't want control to be taken away from me.
That's all I gotta say at this point.

has anyone else used the file ? is this normal?
I've been noticing as of late that hypnosis files are doing ALOT more to me than they were before... and faster to.
Is it possible that my brain just needed to be trained to go into
hypnosis properly ... and that these files I'm using are stronger than other ones? That being , curse enchanted keyboard, as well as gender wipe 2. And a few others.

[kslava]

I just listened to this again. Haven't listened to it in a long time (maybe a year), but I've been listening to other stuff. I'd have to agree with you that there is a bit of an issue with hypnosis making you think your body looks in a way it does not, at least if the end goal is to actually make you into a real woman 24/7. Most people *can* pass, but it takes time and effort to learn how. Real hormones (not just hypnosis's supposed effect on hormones) also help that as well. I'm not sure what your age is, so I can't properly advise on the disconnect between the age you think the file is going for and the age you actually are. I'm in my 30s and didn't feel it was so teenage oriented, but then I have to admit in the listening I just did, I fell asleep for the middle portion.

I think the confusion you're generally stating could be simply the fact that you dove in hardcore (haha, not because of the file name) by listening a LOT over and over and over again. I have found when I really did a lot of hypnosis listening back to back that everything got a lot fuzzier. There is a certain sense of losing your own consciousness and the file just kind of runs the show from there. But in the end, you always come back to your "own" consciousness. Of course with proper brainwashing, and if your subconscious truly is willing to accept it, you might come back to a slightly altered "own" consciousness.

Again, I don't know your specific case, so I can't advise specifically. If you have any previous mental health issues, this would be a lot more complicated to discuss, especially schizophrenia, multiple personalities, or other disordered. As usual, it's generally recommended that anyone who already had these before starting should NOT listen to hypnosis and seek psychiatric care. Just saying that so people don't jump all over me about that.

But really from the sounds of it, it's all those questions you start to think about when you've saturated your consciousness with something for an extended period of time. If you really love it, then keep doing it. But maybe also take time out to research how you're going to reconcile the "world of the file" with the "real world." You cannot listen to the file forever. Even if you had someone watching over you making you listen, they'd eventually want to see some real world results.

Maybe ask yourself, while "sober" (as it were) if you're transsexual, or what you're looking for with this. Only you can truly know where to go with this. The file just helps you along, and opens doors you might have been too afraid to open on your own or opens them more quickly.

Does any of that help? Hopefully it does. <3

[ThatoneGurll]

It helps. But I kind of already knew alot of that.

Thanks though!
I'm actually considering getting on hormones but just don't know where to start i've been considering it for a good three years (ish) and longer than that i've wanted to become female.

So there's that.
Just trying to feel different is all. :3
I like feeling like a girl. Anything that makes me feel more like a girl without changing who I am mentally (in major ways) is nice to experience.
I guess I kind of enjoy the mind trip of it to.
I'm fascinated by how this stuff's been effecting me.
It's like an adventure!

Will I end up changing my personality completely?
Doubt it.
Most likely I'll end up being changed in more extreme ways than I expected though.. as i'm finding is already happening to me.
I'm realizing now to the more I listen to feminization hypnosis the more I do change I just don't see it happening right away (not my body just my mental state and way of thinking)
But not in any drastic ways. Atleast .. not drastic enough compared to what i'm craving.
XD
So yeh. there's that stuff! ^^; thanks for the thoughts.

I don't think hypnosis is fully working on me properly yet I"ve had a few intense experiences but that's it.
That's why I keep trying to go more and more intensely into it.
I'm hoping that bombarding my mind with hypnosis will end up actually causing something to just finally "give" and effect me completely.
I'm a bit scared of it haha.. but i'm also thrilled and excited.
I don't have issues with files changing me, so long as by the time I'm changed I end up liking the changes or being influenced to like them.
That said I do have hard limits... as everyone does.
I'm just trying to have a bit of fun.
and maybe have my life changed around a bit.
That's about it really.
Thanks again!!