Experiments with Cursed Forced Gay, Future Success?

[five_throws]

So, I haven't been on warpmymind for awhile and even back then I was a lurker, so making a new account to document what I am doing.

Do to a long series of events, I have found myself confined by myself for 14 days due to international travel rules. I decided this would be a good time to experiment with curse forced gay during this time, and I thought I would document some of my experiences.

I realized there are many success threads in existence already, and I don't know that this will be a success thread, but given the discussion here, I thought this might be the best forum.

History (long story context, but feel free to skip):

First a bit about my history and current status, and then a bit more about what it is that I intend to do and have done so far. I am in my early 30's, married. I generally consider myself straight have never been attracted to men I interact with on a daily basis, although I have been an avid consumer of transsexual porn for ~15 years. However, I always register people presenting as female... as female. There was a point that I thought it was just a fetish, but in recent years, I have increasingly fantasized for more. Some things that seem to interest me include the feminization of the transsexual models and the idea of straight to gay. I had toyed with the idea of experimenting with hormones - I find the idea of getting softer due to hormones the hottest thing possible, but got scared when I realized that there is no way to predict the timeline for any effect on fertility. (Also why I never tried teenie weenie). I am not sure if these are related. They seem in some ways like many contradictory impulses. Now, that I am actually typing this out, this seems like a mess. I recently have found myself browsing the gay section of hypnotube... Why not go for the real deal and see what happens?

When I was underage, I experimented with playing with crossdressing and was fascinated with mind mistress' adult.hypnoticwishes website. I ended up resisting the urge to read and listen more, which was probably for the best, since I was underage afterall. During college, things were seemingly back to normal though, I was interested in girls (and transsexual pornography)... I can recall only cross dressing as a one night treat at the end of college when I was graduating. I went to graduate school, and those were some high stress years due to various circumstances. One day, I got the idea to go on amazon and put together everything I needed to crossdress. People who like to crossdress

I was dating my current wife at the time, but I was indulging in hypnosis files sometimes when I watched transsexual porn... and when I would go running, and when I would be doing things idlly. It didn't seem to have a huge effect, but I wasn't listening consistently. I did listen to curse forced gay at that point on and off. It was more about the crossdressing and porn... which progressed to buying dildo's to suck and use on myself while consuming porn and being cross dressed. Also, hypno-themed porn like what annamalice's site used to curate... and reddit still does. Did I mention graduate school was stressful? All while still just being interested in my girl friend "in real life." I tried to tell her about my habits while we were dating, like 3 years into our relationship, but unfortunately, as she is very very vanilla, she was really not into it although she was mostly supportive of me personally. I remember that we tried to watch a movie platonically while I was dressed, and she freaked out when I got to close to her eventhough she had suggested the idea. Anyway, eventually, I got married, purged everything, and assumed that I would switch to just doing everything with her... until we went on our honeymoon, and her idea of honeymoon was once in a lifetime adventure (learn to scuba dive, visit foreign lands, exotic nature, etc...) but my idea was to bang every day whereas we only tried a few times, and we didn't do much because I was still trying to help her slowly stretch out over several sessions. I didn't mention we were both virgins until we got married (no regrets BTW). I feel like I must have been one of the kinkiest virgins in existence at that point.

In any case, during the honey moon, it happened that she would fall asleep (later turns out she has a sleep disorder and I am just a night owl) and then I would go back to indulging in hot porn genres, whether transsexual, or sissy or in that porn-hypno amv niche. When we got back, I started to experiment with some of the straight to gay files from mind mistress+her trance training, but I stopped when I noticed they were actually having some effect... I continued to watch transsexual/sissy/hypno themed porn behind her back... and now its been 5 years! Due to some international travel circumstances, we ended up separated not by choice during the beginning of the pandemic for 7 months, which was super hard on me. I thought if I didn't experiment with hardcore hypnosis files then then I would never again... and I wasn't interested then... but lately, I have been so fascinated by the stuff you find in the hypnotube's gay section, and I have these two weeks. I find the things there quite hot, although nothing for men outside of the context of pornography... So, although I am married, why not give a shot and see if there is anything there. I had someone close to me pass away recently, unfortunately, and I think that it is a strong reminder that you only live once. If there's something deep here, better to know about it before there's kids in the picture.

The Plan: (open to suggestions)

Listen to a lot of curse forced gay while doing other things for the next 14 days.. (actually day 1 and 2 already happened). When I am doing things, I have it playing in the background, and ideally, also find at least one time per day to trance while fully focused on it. If I am listening back to back, I will skip the wake up suggestion and go back towards the end of the induction, but close to the 10-1 count down. I might also listen to other files that do not conflict with curse forced gay. Then, I will try to understand whether I am having any changes and whether they are desirable or not, and hopefully, learn something about myself. I am not sure how much this file will do, since already watch so much TS stuff, and the script is very cock focused.

If things get off the rails, I can stop. It seems kinda hot that when I am reunited with my wife that I can't get it up for her and have to make some excuse (never happened so far lol). Also, if I want to reverse any effects, I assume that many would fade with time as I have experienced before and also that I can always listen files designed to clear hypnotic suggestions. I am not worried about this very much.

Progress Observations


DAY 1: (Retrospective)

I listened a lot of times (~8?) while getting settled in for 14 days and unpacking, and resting, answering emails, eating, bruising teeth. I had a strange thought to google gay romance stuff. There were some youtube vids that I spent literally 1 minute watching, and found it boring. I was very horny and started watching transsexual Asian porn (my favorite, but one of the models had huge very ugly fake and misaligned boobs, which I found a turn off. That is very uncharacteristic of me, since I am a big boob guy... I started stroking to flatter transsexual actresses than usual, and I started browsing gay sites and found a gay frottage, cum compilation which I came to... in my mouth and swallowed, so a bit unusual, as yes have browsed gay stuff before, but I usually would get bored an go back to some other genre....

DAY 2: (Retrospective)

I had to hustle for a zoom meeting (still doing my job remotely from this 14 day thing), so I was straight preparing from 8 AM to 6 PM and then in meeting from 6 PM to 9 PM.... afterwards, lots of stress relief porn+CFG file... I noticed the suggestion that my sexuality was being stripped away suddenly seemed so much hotter. It also seems like any inhibitions I might have been having about being sexual or romantic with males is getting reduced, but not sure where that is going. I was very tired from low sleep thought. One thing is clear is that I am getting more turned on by the whole idea of this file a lot more than I thought it was. Also noticing I am a lot more interested in cross dresser type over the very feminine type of transgender porn. Not sure if that is based on something fundamental or some self-fulfilling fantasy... Came in my mouth again while watching gay porn and ladyboy porn at the same time...

Will continue to update.

[five_throws]

DAY 3:

Oh boy, I listened a lot of times, although mostly not trying seriously to trance. I don't think suggestions in curse forced gay don't actually say to get hornier with each session, but definitely the aggregation of suggestion seems to have had that effect. I was working on work stuff until 6 PM then zoom called my wife for like 5 hours, with her falling asleep on her couch despite me telling her not to... So when that was over, I binged on curse forced gay and curse stroke gay and several other files I redownloaded from warp my mind... Earlier in the day, I had the thought pop into my head, that although it would be the nuclear option that I can always leave my wife. This is a very weird thought for me because I love her a lot. Not sure this is going in a direction I like. I browsed a lot of gay and TS content after midnight. I messaged a TS cam model who I had talked with in the past, who I had vowed to myself not to contact since I am married now. Almost over paid for the high resolution version of some gay porn I found on a website. When I was cumming hard, the thought went through my mind that ""Oh Fuck *******(wife's name)**** is fucked."" That was an unusual thought for me. Then ended up finding some lesbian porn with a campy plot about a woman hypnotizing some ladies to turn them lesbian. I ended up not sleeping until 5 AM due to my hypno-porn binge. So the files seem to be doing something eventhough a lot of listening in the background is happing as opposed to properly lying down and focusing on the files. However, this has led me to realize that there is something not quite right about my original premise. You see, a lot of these gay hypnosis files have the suggestion that really you were always gay to get around any resistance from other lines of reasoning. This creates an interesting thought problem because after listening, you are no longer a reliable self-reporter of what your past self thought (not that anyone is even ideally). So then, how can you distinguish from normal thoughts but ones that would fall outside of social norms and straight up repressing sexual desires or repressed same-sex attraction? It also makes it harder to tell if this hypnosis training is really unlocking some forbidden repressed desire or implanting a suggestion that you accept at that moment out of horniness. What is clear is that going forward, if I want to continue.

DAY 4:

Oh boy. I definitely over indulged day 3. Wife called and woke me up at like 7 or 8 because there was a sale on shorts and she wanted to know my size. She got offended that I wasn't excited to talk to her under those circumstances since she was trying to save us money... Had a strange dream that my wife had a female co-worker seduce her. (My wife isn't like that in real life as far as I know.) Apparently, I might be developing some fantasy around her experiencing same sex attraction... We followed up with another conversation around noon to straighten things out about the earlier miscommunication. Very sleep deprived, I started listening to some files, I think CFG and CSC and then TS cam model messaged me that she is online. A long time ago, I had resolved to not do anything I wouldn't be proud of later, but then I found myself spending money, chatting the model for hours catching up with her. She is really gorgeous. Kinda looks like the Korean singer Jessi. Honestly, if I weren't married, I would be interested in dating this person IRL (I think even without any hypno suggestion (?)) Not sure if the ease with which I allowed her to seduce me today is related to my lack of sleep, the hypno suggestions (since afterall, this cam model does have a cock, to borrow the wording from CFG), the fight with my wife, the inherent horniness, and curiosity about how she was doing... Had a great time in the moment talking with her an allowing myself to be seduced, but napped again after and woke up to intense guilt after... Only listened to hypno for like 30-40 mins today as a background - needed a break. Apparently, I also missed an event in pokemon go which is also uncharacteristic of me. To be honest, these feel like distinctively bad developments from over indulging and entertaining the proverbial devil on my shoulder. On the one hand, I am doing something that I really feel like I missed out and had some regret not pursuing... but on the other hand, I feel like I chose to have the responsibility to pass on things like this when I got married. Dammit. This highlights that when these 14 days are over or even before, I have a big choice to make about what directions I want to go the rest of my life and what is ultimately the most positive direction.

Edit: Also need to think carefully if I want to stop here or continue, if continue why and what the stop conditions should be if I do.

[warren101]

Hello five_throws. We are all very curious about weather or not you will continue with CFG. I have been listening since 3-01-21 and it now seems to be affecting me. Thanks in advance for any updates.

[curiosity98]

Hi @five_throws Hope we will hear from you. Im really curious if you decided to go further