Wondering why I tried it

[demigraff]

In the last few months, I've tried every (free) induction file on this site, hoping to find one that doesn't stop working after 2 or 3 listens (at which point I find myself anticipating the next word, a habit which annoys me just as much as it does when I do it to a favourite film - I guess annoyance isn't conducive to trance)

One which seems to get into my mind is Sarnoga's (I think - sorry if the attribution is wrong) diaper induction. I'm not sure why, but it seemed particularly effective.

I wanted to test the induction's efficacy, so experimented with TrainDiapers2 and the BabyTime bodies. Not something I'd normally choose, but my curiosity didn't like having one big category I'd not even tried, and I figuredd that if that induction worked, I might as well pick something appropriate to test it. So I tried wearing diapers a few times, using the files to temporarily reduce my bladder control, and found them moderately effective. I was slightly surprised to find that a wet diaper isn't particularly unpleasant - although I always made sure to take it off and take out the trash immediately, to avoid mentioning this to my housemates.

Today I decided to move from experiments to something that really appeals to me. With 5 diapers left in the pack, I figured I should try TrainSusceptible 4 or 5 times - then hopefully my room would be free from anything to embarrass me if discovered, and I could use a regular induction with the various self-help files. Among other things, TrainSusceptible suggests forgetting the words to other files - so once its firmly in my subconscious, it might cure my problem with other files.

I built a playlist: Diaper Induction, TrainSusceptible, Deepener, Accelerator, and Awakener. As a little extra, I put a couple of fragments (the bits that say "every time you listen, this will be more effective" from a dozen files by different people) on in the background, turned down to be a barely audible subliminal loop.

Well, that seemed to be very, very effective. After waking up I just knew that I would respond so easily to any other file.

But, my brain has a built in devil's-advocate. Rather than putting on a language learning file, or Cardigan's artist's resolve, or TrainObserveDead, I thought it might be interesting to test the limits of my new susceptibility by listening to something I'd never normally consider.

Actually, "something I'd never consider" proved quite a hard target. I found long ago that if someone can describe why a particular thing turns them on, I can usually empathise. I couldn't really imagine myself being disgusted or ashamed by any kink - though no doubt if I keep exploring, I'll find one. Then I noticed the Naughty Boy file - which is designed to make you feel ashamed. I thought it'd never work - its too big a change to my worldview.

I listened to it.

As soon as I woke up, I felt dirty for having tried it. I'd been curious how it could feel, but it must be more than 8 years since I felt anything remotely like it. Then EMG said the trigger phrase. I stood up as instructed, but didn't wet myself. Maybe shame and a physical action together were too much even for the current suggestibility of my mind.

But, curiosity still held a grip on me. I wondered, if I actually lost control, would I feel more ashamed about that, and less about listening to the file? Is there a limit to the concurrent shame you can feel? I skipped the file back a few seconds to the trigger, and felt a little urge to obey. I listened to the trigger again, and again. Maybe its just perverse curiosity, or maybe the repetition had some effect on my self-control. The words "You will do everything You can to try to wet Your pants" come to mind ... I think that's in the file, but I'm not sure. I wanted to see if I'd be embarrassed. I stood there for about 2 minutes, trying to pee, but I guess my bladder was empty, or the shame already made me lock down. I didn't wet my diaper at all.

I went to take off the diaper as usual, and found myself thinking that I should carry on wearing it until I'd confessed to listening to that file. I really wish I hadn't listened to it now, I never knew it would be possible to feel so bad over a simple bodily function.

Still, I have to call this one a success. The file clearly works despite my disdain, so I guess I'll give it a thumbs-up.

[diapers_forever]

No matter if you are accelerated or susceptible, stop listening and it will stop. Just a rule. I'm glad you're getting some success.