So it's been a few months, I haven't been around much, and a lot has happened. Despite not having done any hypnosis since...well I can't even remember, I'm still becoming more and more of a jock every day. I realize now that there's nothing stopping my jockification; it's totally inevitable.
I posted a couple pictures the other day. I don't know if it's obvious from them but I've put on more muscle. My goal is still to get as huge as I possibly can (without using steroids) and I'm well on my way there. I made a resolution to gain 15 lbs more muscle by the end of this year, and I know I can do it. I understand now how to control my diet and what kind of volume/intensity/exercises work best for me at the gym. A little experimentation goes a long way. I'm bigger AND I'm stronger. I just blasted through my squat max the other day like it was nothing. I'm like the fucking Juggernaut or something. There's no stopping me!
My interests are drastically changing. The things I would call "nerd interests" are either withering away or morphing to fit my new jock persona. For example: I used to be a big history nut; I still am a bit, but my interest in history is more like an interest in warfare or weird macabre shit. I still like reading books, but I get bored trying to read the classics I used to enjoy; I need action! Adventure! Suspense!
I spend less and less time on nerdy things and more on jock-related things. I read a lot about bodybuilding techniques and the science of nutrition and exercise (it's relevant to my goal of becoming a physical therapist).
I am obsessed with football. I read about what's going on in the football world every day. I get emotionally invested in games. I shout and jump around when my favorite team scores. You have to understand, this is all new to me. I used to think football was boring. I couldn't care less about it, and here I am wearing a 49ers jersey and still feeling elated because they beat the Packers today.
Other sports interest me too. I like hockey, and I'm starting to like basketball too (to the dismay of my girlfriend, who thinks watching sports is boring).
To me though, all these are superficial changes. The most important ones, the psychological changes, are what I'm interested in. The confidence, the masculinity, and the aggressive-assertive nature of a jock, that's what I'm interested in. And that's what I'm getting. I look in the mirror and I see a BIG guy. I'm fucking proud of my body and I like to show it off. I keep my back straight and chest high all the time. I can approach people without feeling scared about what I'm going to say. In the gym, I am LOUD and fucking proud of the stares I get because of it. I'm working my ass off and I'll be damned if I'm going to let the opinions of others stop me. I'm a MAN.
I'm fucking fed up with being submissive and effeminate. It's against my nature, now. I can't be a subby bitch and be a jock at the same time; a jock is too masculine, too dominant to let someone else control him. It doesn't make sense to me. I'm thrilled with these feelings, this need to be dominant, to be in control, to be on top, and to be aggressive. I crave it.
Related to that, my interest in other men has almost completely withered away. I think it's because I've always associated submissiveness with being gay, and now that I want nothing to do with being subby...I just lost interest. Chicks, however...good god. I see a nice pair of tits or a firm, round feminine ass and I insta-boner. The need to rut hits me every day and I fucking love the feeling. I feel like this is only going to get stronger as I grow, as the testosterone builds up inside me.
So...that's it for now. I may not be a dumb jock but chicks dig smart guys anyway. And a smart dude who can (one day) bench press over 300lbs? I'll fucking have them soiling their panties. ;)