Trying to write my first script-- opinions wanted

[ShadowSabre]

Hello.

I'm trying to write a script, to guard the mind against unwanted suggestions. (Just an extra level of saftey.) I have a rough copy. Um... please comment on it....?

[Insert induction here.]

Now, I want you to imagine your mind. Imagine it clearly, distinctly. This is the core of who you are. It is the sum of your memories, personality, thoughts, and desires. When you go into hypnosis, you are opening the gates of your mind for the person who hypnotizes you.

Now, I want you to imagine a barrier around your mind. This is a special barrier. Only thoughts that you want, that are good for you and that you want, can pass through this barrier. Anything you do not want or that is bad for you bounces off without going near your mind. You will not be afraid to tell the hypnotist this, and you will not allow him or her to convince you to let them do anything you don't want.

As the subject, you have the right to choose what commands you obey. Your mental barrier will protect you from anything that may harm you. Your mental barrier will protect you from anything you don't want. Your mind is yours, and no one can plant any suggestion there unless you allow it past the barrier.

[Awakening.]

Well..?

[goldragon_70]

The script is kind of short, especially for one that helps you guard your mind.

You could do this by expanding on the visualization, or the strength of the barrier, and maybe saying the same thing in a different way to stress the point. You could also expand it to advertising, like clericals.

[cardigan]

You need to rewrite these sentences. They might have the opposite effect and allow hypnotists to convince you to let them do anything they want!

"You will not be afraid to tell the hypnotist this, and you will not allow him or her to convince you to let them do anything you don't want. "

The subconscious does not understand negative terms. It there just erases the not-words and you a the opposite meaning, that you are giving the subconscious.

I don't think the script is too short to work, but as said, you migth make it longer. Just in case.

[ShadowSabre]

The script is kind of short, especially for one that helps you guard your mind.

You could do this by expanding on the visualization, or the strength of the barrier, and maybe saying the same thing in a different way to stress the point. You could also expand it to advertising, like clericals.

OK. I just wasn't sure how strongly to do the visualizations. Do I do it as a computer with a firewall installed? A sphere of light with a bubble? A castle surrounded by wall and moat?

You need to rewrite these sentences. They might have the opposite effect and allow hypnotists to convince you to let them do anything they want!

"You will not be afraid to tell the hypnotist this, and you will not allow him or her to convince you to let them do anything you don't want. "

The subconscious does not understand negative terms. It there just erases the not-words and you a the opposite meaning, that you are giving the subconscious.

I don't think the script is too short to work, but as said, you migth make it longer. Just in case.

Really? I never knew that thing about negatives, but it's a great thing to know. :) I was planning on having it loop, but I wanted to at least get *something* down.

I guess I'll re-write it after the fifty million assignments, exams, etc. are over.... *dies*

[goldragon_70]

OK. I just wasn't sure how strongly to do the visualizations. Do I do it as a computer with a firewall installed? A sphere of light with a bubble? A castle surrounded by wall and moat?

More like discribe how the wall is unbrakeable, so that there is no question of it braking.

Now that I think about it, it's hard to discibe without negatives. I wonder if Un- and in- are considered a negative.

[cardigan]

Unbreakable is not really a negative. Because speaking of breakable gives little meaning. So you can use unbreakable fine in my opinion.

[Kharon]

Generally speaking, isn't unbreakable a positive? Unless you happen to be the one attempting to break it, that is...

[cardigan]

Now you are reading your personal preferences into it. In your opinion unbreakable is good - a positive quality. But other people might have a different understanding of the word - and it also depends on the context the word is placed in. Tying a person with ropes against their will and telling them that the ropes are unbreakable... While that would exite a sub tremendously, it might scare the living daylights out of a more vanilla person. :P

When hypnotizing others it is very important to use words that are not ambiguous. You want to be sure, that the same meaning, you want the subject to get, is what gets across!

[Kharon]

Indeed, I see I forgot to focus on the other aspects of the word as well. Some may understand it from the more literal perspective, or as a bad thing. In the case of a wall it may often seem good to the conscious mind, but something about it is unsettling on the deeper level, as it can indicate something hidden and potentially dangerous. I was hasty before, and my mistake has been shown to me. Here's hoping that I will learn from it.

[wdbames]

NOTE: EMG routinely writes his scripts with lots of negatives.
I, Therefore, routinely re-write his scripts in such a way as to avoid negatives. Then I re-record them for my own use. This approach works better for me. (Your mileage may vary.) :wink:

[cardigan]

I've made the same observation and also do some rewriting where necessary.