Pornography warped my mind and I want it back

[JACKHANDY]

I have been a porn addict for the last ten years. After seeing probably 100,000 images of naked women and watching prob over 1000 clips I am completely bored with the female body. After about 5 years I started to notice that I was getting no rush(basically weak orgasm) out of what I originally loved. It got to the point where I could not even get an erection to it. Around the same time i became a full fledged pot head. So to kink things up I would get on an asian girl kick or black girls or spainish girls etc... and that worked for a little while. My friend then came out to me and told me that he was gay and that anal was the greatest pleasure he'd ever had. So I masturbated(jerked off) to the idea of anal pleasure and got that rush back that I was searching for again. So i then looked at some gay porn and was not remotely attracted to what I saw but my dick rose like it used to in the old times to beautiful women. I then used a dildo and I didnt like it at all but I could still get a great rush from masturbating to the idea of it. Then gay porn lost some of its rush after a some time then it progressed to shemale porn , then scat, golden showers, bsdm, etc... I basically had to shock myself to get that same rush that I was looking for. At one point I watched some beastiality and literally threw up at what I saw and achieved an erection simultaneously(which I think is bizarrely impressive.) At this point I knew something was wrong and I needed to quit looking at porn. During this whole period I still found actuall real life girls to be very attractive. So I quit porn and around a year later completely quit smoking weed. Waking up from the weed numb coma was quite a shock.

After around 3 months of sobriety I was watching sex lies and videotapes and I got an erection to james spader jerking off to the videos he had made of the women he interviewed. Being completely sober now I freaked out and thought oh man what if I'm gay. From that point on I would literally look at a guy (generally always on tv) and worry what if I am attracted to him and then get nauseous. Then I would go to a class or a bar and see all of the hot girls and compare them to the guys(lifesize and all) and it would be laughable. But then I would go home all aone watching tv and could not get arroused by thinking of a hot girl but I could get arroused by the idea of a guy or shemale, or girls giving golden showers, scat,etc and I would totally flip and get a stomach ache. I think I have given myself stomach ulcers. But at the same time just hugging or dancing with a real life hot girl gets me arroused very easily (even trying while trying to stop it)but i have never remotely gotten an erection from a guy in real life. Guys in real life arent attractive at all, but since I have flipped out the female body has lost alot of its luster. I want to love breasts again. They all look the same after seeing over seeing thousands of pairs over and over again.

I have been stuck like this for a year now. I just recently found this site and downloaded trainsexwomen and pussylover and have used them for only one week . I am not sure that trainsexwomen is the appropriate file since in real life I completely prefer women, I am just not as attracted to them as I was before after watching so much porn. I want to be able to think of attractive girls and be able to achieve an erection and not have to think of all of the stuff I have progressed to as it drives me mad. I would like to be hypnotized for that stuff to be disgusting again and unarrousing if at all possible. I also want the female body to be as exciting as it used to be( or even more exciting if thats even possible.) I would completely be willing to pay for custom files to have all of this again.

I realize this is a fetish website and maybe I have offended some people by calling this stuff disgusting and that was not the point of this post at all. I respect your desires and if that is what you love then by all means enjoy it. Its just not for me and I want what I loved in the first place back. To anyone who actually read this very long post I appreciate it and would like some feedback if at all possible

Thanks

[BobbyS]

Well, firstly, I would say that this really is the wrong place to seek counselling about your situation. Secondly, I would say that not everyone here is an incontinent cross-dressing anal queen. I personally came here because hypnosis fascinates me and I find stuff like orgasming from a trigger or being triggered to freeze in place intensely erotic. Things like anal curses and feminization stuff less so. Bear in mind that a lot of stuff is user-submitted so it serves to harbour the creator's sick fantasies, though there were quite a few... extreme files before user submission.
If you're here to try and find new ways to awaken a diminishing libido though, you're here for the wrong reason and it will just make your predicament worse.

[MN_FriendlyGuy]

For us guys, getting aroused during a hypno session - really hard - is a good sign. I say it's a good sign because:

The desires buried in your subconscious are the "fuel" for hypnotic trances - your motivation. When a trance gets you focused on what you really desire - it's powerful.

In trance, your inhibitions are lower - there's less influence from an ethical conscious mind.

This combination of focusing on desire while lowering inhibition - There's no way to fake it or to deny it.

Be aware that logic is a function of your conscious mind. It's entirely possible for a conscious mind to (logically) reject the desires of the subconscious. When someone is in this state of conflict, it's difficult for them to enter hypnotic trance.

BobbyS said it succinctly: "If you're here to try and find new ways to awaken a diminishing libido, you're here for the wrong reason and it will just make your predicament worse.".

[JACKHANDY]

I do get aroused during hypno sessions such as trainsexwomen and pussylover. Very aroused. And based on what you have written you act as if hypnosis does not have the power to change your subconscious mind it can only bring out whats really there. So that would mean that sissyoxfordguy and eve were lying to themselves about their sexuality and that cursedforcedgay and trainsexmen just brought out their true feelings. If anything my conscious mind is trying to be ultra logical while im all alone but when im with actual real life breathing 3 dimensional people (you know...what actually counts) my subconscious kicks in and blows it all out of the water. Porn is not real, its two dimensional 8inch box on my computer screen. If you don't think their are diminishing returns with watching the same type of porn over and over again then I respectively disagree with you.

Thanks

[BobbyS]

Well, I can't speak for anyone else here, but personally I 100% agree with your last post. I don't believe a file can force you to change sexuality - if ChangeOrientationToGay (or whatever it was) works, you must have had bi/homosexual feelings on one level, otherwise why listen to it?
And as for porn, you're quite right about how too much of it can lessen your sexual reaction to it, it's the same with anything - too many films can bore you, too much drinking can make it harder to get drunk. Unlike films though, it is not necessarily a good idea to get your rocks off somewhere else, you just need to go easy on the porn and more importantly, not worry about it. Like you say, it's just porn and if you get as aroused as you do by members of the opposite sex when dancing, you're quite clearly vanilla straight.
Bottom line; stop trying to 'fix' yourself by resorting to other means and don't worry if the edge has worn off porn.

[MN_FriendlyGuy]

... And based on what you have written you act as if hypnosis does not have the power to change your subconscious mind it can only bring out whats really there. So that would mean that sissyoxfordguy and eve were lying to themselves about their sexuality and that cursedforcedgay and trainsexmen just brought out their true feelings...

You hit the nail on the head, JACKHANDY. Hypnosis is merely a communication method. It's a method for bypassing the conscious mind and communicating directly with the subconscious.

When you say that "sissyoxfordguy and eve were lying to themselves", that's a little harsh. It's a possibility, yes. But it's more likely that they weren't consciously aware.

It's a good sign that the hypno sessions you've chosen get your motor running. There's no way to fake it or to deny it.

On the topic of porn: sorry - can't continue the discussion. Lord knows I ain't a prude. Porn just hasn't interested me. I'll take your word about diminishing returns.

[medoche71]

hi, i got the same problem !
i am fond of shemale movies and diapers !
i am only thinking about that since 2 years !
but now i can't have an erection when i think about a woman !

moreover, ma penis is becoming smaller, i lost 2 cm !

if i try "prefer woman", will i become like before ?

please help me, i don't want to be prisoner of my fantasies

[JACKHANDY]

trainsexwomen is working medoche71. I now don't get an erection thinking of the weird stuff and i do thinking about hot girls. It may not work though if you watch the shemale and diaper porn since you masturbatorilly(sp) conditioning that fantasy. Thats purely speculation though. As for your penis getting smaller have you gained any weight recently? Ive heard anywhere from gaining 25-40 pounds equals one inch of penis loss. Pubic fat builds around the base of your penis and presto your dick is smaller. So you may just have to lose some weight.

[Kendai]

so have there been serious attempts to de-condition the sex drive and make a subject more arouse by what seems to have become dull?

obviously cutting back or abstaining will make it less familiar and more interesting, but some hypnotic suggestions can help the process along right?

[JACKHANDY]

Yes kendai just cutting back and not watching any type of porn for 5 days and what I liked in the first place would get me arroused. I just didnt like the fact that more shocking stuff was more arrousing. After this whole expereience im going to just quit porn for good. I am using wendi friesens porn addiction program and it seems to be working so far.

[medoche71]

hi dudes, great news, i am hearing trainsexwoman and pussylover since one month ! and this morning i was face to a beautiful girl with big breast and i got a small erection ! it is a small victory because, since 1 year, i was not able to get an erection in thinking about woman !

my erection isn't so hard to make love, but i don't loose hope !!!

thank you so much and sorry for my poor english (do i make a lot of mistakes? i am french)

[Kendai]

hi dudes, great news, i am hearing trainsexwoman and pussylover since one month ! and this morning i was face to a beautiful girl with big breast and i got a small erection ! it is a small victory because, since 1 year, i was not able to get an erection in thinking about woman !

my erection isn't so hard to make love, but i don't loose hope !!!

thank you so much and sorry for my poor english (do i make a lot of mistakes? i am french)

That's probably not a bad idea either. while the files may be intended to change prefrences, it probably helps renew intrest after you dull it to the point you need something wierd added for it to be interesting.

[Kendai]

Maybe not so well.

I started to try it, but I kind of rejected it because the file's designed to change preference from male to female, and the suggestions made me feel like it was questioning my preference so i ended up ignoring the suggestions re-enforcing it.

[Henrique]

I've split it in two:
On the internet I only get an erection with "wierd" stuff: shemales, scat, hypnosis... lol
But with my girlfriend, I can get an erection just by kissing or hugging her.