I have been a porn addict for the last ten years. After seeing probably 100,000 images of naked women and watching prob over 1000 clips I am completely bored with the female body. After about 5 years I started to notice that I was getting no rush(basically weak orgasm) out of what I originally loved. It got to the point where I could not even get an erection to it. Around the same time i became a full fledged pot head. So to kink things up I would get on an asian girl kick or black girls or spainish girls etc... and that worked for a little while. My friend then came out to me and told me that he was gay and that anal was the greatest pleasure he'd ever had. So I masturbated(jerked off) to the idea of anal pleasure and got that rush back that I was searching for again. So i then looked at some gay porn and was not remotely attracted to what I saw but my dick rose like it used to in the old times to beautiful women. I then used a dildo and I didnt like it at all but I could still get a great rush from masturbating to the idea of it. Then gay porn lost some of its rush after a some time then it progressed to shemale porn , then scat, golden showers, bsdm, etc... I basically had to shock myself to get that same rush that I was looking for. At one point I watched some beastiality and literally threw up at what I saw and achieved an erection simultaneously(which I think is bizarrely impressive.) At this point I knew something was wrong and I needed to quit looking at porn. During this whole period I still found actuall real life girls to be very attractive. So I quit porn and around a year later completely quit smoking weed. Waking up from the weed numb coma was quite a shock.
After around 3 months of sobriety I was watching sex lies and videotapes and I got an erection to james spader jerking off to the videos he had made of the women he interviewed. Being completely sober now I freaked out and thought oh man what if I'm gay. From that point on I would literally look at a guy (generally always on tv) and worry what if I am attracted to him and then get nauseous. Then I would go to a class or a bar and see all of the hot girls and compare them to the guys(lifesize and all) and it would be laughable. But then I would go home all aone watching tv and could not get arroused by thinking of a hot girl but I could get arroused by the idea of a guy or shemale, or girls giving golden showers, scat,etc and I would totally flip and get a stomach ache. I think I have given myself stomach ulcers. But at the same time just hugging or dancing with a real life hot girl gets me arroused very easily (even trying while trying to stop it)but i have never remotely gotten an erection from a guy in real life. Guys in real life arent attractive at all, but since I have flipped out the female body has lost alot of its luster. I want to love breasts again. They all look the same after seeing over seeing thousands of pairs over and over again.
I have been stuck like this for a year now. I just recently found this site and downloaded trainsexwomen and pussylover and have used them for only one week . I am not sure that trainsexwomen is the appropriate file since in real life I completely prefer women, I am just not as attracted to them as I was before after watching so much porn. I want to be able to think of attractive girls and be able to achieve an erection and not have to think of all of the stuff I have progressed to as it drives me mad. I would like to be hypnotized for that stuff to be disgusting again and unarrousing if at all possible. I also want the female body to be as exciting as it used to be( or even more exciting if thats even possible.) I would completely be willing to pay for custom files to have all of this again.
I realize this is a fetish website and maybe I have offended some people by calling this stuff disgusting and that was not the point of this post at all. I respect your desires and if that is what you love then by all means enjoy it. Its just not for me and I want what I loved in the first place back. To anyone who actually read this very long post I appreciate it and would like some feedback if at all possible
Thanks