I have been trying hypnosis for a long time, I have done files, but I believe I am just sleeping through them, I wish it was more, but that is what I truely believe. So I have been trying sessions with text or voice, but they both end up going the same way.
first I feel motivated, ready to try hypnosis once again, hopeful it will work, and allowing myself relaxing, even without the hypnotist's help. Then it always gets to the same point
I feel relaxed, my body almost numb, my eyes heavy, but then when they ask if I am in trance, I feel like I want to say yes, but there is a loud voice in my head that is saying no, no I am not in trance, now I am not being hypnotized, I am doing something wrong
The more I try and ignore the voice, the louder, and more mean the voice gets, even if the hypnotist tries to deal with it, it just gets louder, and causes me to start to panic, I feel like I am gonna throw up, and generally feel bad.
I then can't relax or anything after that, I am shaken and upset, I don't feel like being hypnotized, or listening to the hypnotist, almost a complete spin on how I felt when it first started out.
I think about hiring a real hypnotist, but I am afraid he/she will just get the same result, and I will have wasted my money. It is something I want so bad, everyone else seems to get to enjoy, but I can not obtain.
I am on no drugs, nor do I believe I have any mental disorders. I am just a normal male college student, that dreams of being hypnotised, but still hasn't been, and isn't sure it will ever happen, because of how I relax.
Any advice, personal experience, or anything else you want to say about it?