Girlfriend wanted

[CharredSoul]

you are at college? is there no girls there to strike up an interest with?

[bandler]

I've been though 18 girls here this school year.
Some pretty cool, some really fucking hot. But no keepers, you know? Just not that... that 'Umf!'
So I thought I'd cast a line into a different social circle.

18 girls in a year... assuming you don't go to summer school, that is two girls each month on average. If you are trying to set a record, you'll have to pick up the pace.

On the other hand, if you want a quality girl, maybe you need to elevate your standards. I'm sure there is nothing, subconsciously, holding you back from developing a deep, satisfying, relationship with a really fucking hot cool girl.

Know what I mean?

[mutatedbunnyboy]

Try going for an a "less attractive" girl, she might suprise you.

[CharredSoul]

help create shifts in their personalities to suit your needs which requires alot of work effort and energy, or you can create a shift within yourself, majority of women go for personalities, thats where men need to start to look at if they want a relationship, not saying they are going to be unattractive, but you will find the quality of women go up if you start to look at their personality.

what is it that you want in a womens personality?

what would it be like?

map it all out

one of my favourite trainers has a saying not to go for the women that are on a scale 8-10s, thats what i used to do, not anymore, because i like obedient girls

then start to go for the secondary gains, such as looks, money ect..

you will start noticing those types of women, what you tend to focus on is what you get.

[CharredSoul]

you are a psychologist at a college?

are you a teacher?

you would have read alot on womens psychology then?

if want to strike up with a women that is of quality it all goes beyond looks and shallowness, it is just at that age group thats what is high up on their priority list. and that is basically all your are going to experience. experience women outside of the college, more experienced women(in life) women that have had a wide range of experiences there are lots out there and you'll start to find that it does actually go beyond the looks of a person.

[VanWilder]

I'm a psychologist (not medical applied social sciences), and I've been finding more and more that the women I'm with- either as freinds, or as lovers, that personality doesn't matter.
So much of human behaviour is context dependant, a 'nice girl' can be a bitch when in the proper scenario, and an angry bitch can be tame as a lamb, all given circumstances. Assuming I'm not dealing with somebody with a personality disorder, and that I'm dealing with a human within one standard deviation from normal- I bring enough context to anticipate their exhibited behaviour (the consistencies of which, you would call 'personality')

So, I look for looks.

I empathize with you. I played in a rock band in my 20's and had plenty of great experiences... Both with the hot groupies and with more normal and intelligent girls.

It's been said that a young man wants a concubine, a middle aged man wants a companion, and a old man wants a nurse.

Your desire for looks is completely understandable.

Personally, I passed up a couple of cute girls with great personalities while trying to keep finding better looking girls. However, I couldn't relate to the hottest ones who were often too obsessed with their looks and didn't have enough depth for me. I even briefly married a hot one who didn't match my personality. While most could be either a bitch or a lamb, all of them spread the spectrum of having more of a propensity towards either bitch or lamb. Eventually, around middle age, I finally found a cute one who did match my personality.

Thus, I will disagree with you on one point: Personality does matter. Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses and everyone is unique. If you want something long term, find one that "you" feel comfortable with. Then again, while you shouldn't pass up one whom you actually enjoy outside of the bedroom or beyond arm candy, you are in your 20's... Feel free to spread the love or find the hottest you can get if that is what you are looking for.

[Plaat]

If you want. not boring, go lower, be they won't be "easy", as I can tell you.

[Mutazoa]

Well truth be told I myself would love to find a girlfriend off a site like this, simply because it I wouldn't have to ease a new girl into hypnosis (of any kind). But I've long since learned that going for a girl just because of her looks can be more trouble than its worth most times. How many times have you gone to the movies, paid your $20 for tickets and soda and popcorn, sat down and 30 min. later was thinking "God this movie is a pieces of crap..I can't believe I just blew $20 on this."

If you want a girlfriend you need more than just a pretty package. you need a compatible personality, and some common interests. Unfortunately, it seems that the more attractive a person is, the bigger their ego, and the less likely they are to find a compatible personality.

Pretty girls grow up with guys fawning over them and they get use to it, and start to think that they're special and can get any guy so why not get the super handsome ones. Handsome guys get use to girls fawning over them and think the same thing. You get to people with inflated ego's in a relationship and nothing good can come of it. Two Type A personalities going head to head is not conducive to a stable, long term relationship.

Step back and examine your motives. Do you really want a serious stable relationship, or just a great looking long term sex partner?

[renzhee]

oh ,.as the same situation in chinese. :D

[Gnostic]

Truely, I am looking for a stable relationship that's equipped for the long term.
I'm one of the handsome egotistical assholes, who could also flame the nerds in intellect. Hence why I was able to blow through so many girls last semester. In an all to common fit, a cheerleader was the one who stuck around the longest. (Thank you stereotypes.)

NOW! I am looking to find a good match. Someone who is personally compatible, as well as fettishily... (if thats a word x-p ) compatible.
Just, looking in some place new, eh?

I hate to tell you this, but a lot of what Matazoa wrote is true.

In fact, back in the 1970s and early 1980s there were a couple of studies (don't ask me to cite them--you can look them up--I've been retired from the field for too long) that found that the prettier/more handsome an individual was as a child, the less well-developed/rounded the individual's personality was in early adulthood (beginning at 18+).

Why? For the very reasons Matazoa cited: because attractive children did not have to work as hard to get attention and gratification of their needs, they did not put as much effort into doing things that developed or rounded out their personalities as less attractive children who had to do that in order to get a similar degree of attention/approval or gratification of their needs.

So, by the time they are college age, the attractive, "A-list" females have more shallow, less well-rounded personalities (are more likely to fit the stereotype of the "cheerleader" or vacuous model) than their less attractive female counterparts. The same is generally true of men (with athletic prowess serving as an additional factor in the male equation).

Notice that in the previous paragraph referencing these studies I used the terms "more likely" and "generally". That's because while these things may be true in a majority of instances, they are not ALWAYS true. And, given what you cited in the quote above, that may not be the case with you...which would make you the exception to the rule.

If you are the exception to the rule and you are looking for a woman who can match your intelligence and personality (BTW: admitting that you are a "handsome, egotistical asshole is the first step towards not being condemned to be one--which means that you have a choice that will now be available to you), then you have to recognize that you have three choices: 1.) be happy having a pretty "cufflink" on your sleeve and go through as many as you can in hopes of finding one who has the personality and intelligence to match your needs; 2.) expand your search to include slightly less physically attractive women--cute, A-/B+ list but not "A-list"--who are more likely to have the kinds of personality that you are looking for; or 3.) refine your search to looking for the "A-list" women who, like you, are the exception to the rule.

Would you rather be with someone for the wrong reasons than take a chance that you might have to be alone for the right reasons for a time? Only you can make that decision.

But, here's my take:

If you continue to opt for choice # 1, you will go through a ton of women, get laid a lot, but probably continue to be frustrated in your search for the "right" woman for some time and possibly miss her because you were spending your time on a "cuff-link" (a woman who looks good on a man's sleeve, but is superfluous) when she happened to be available (remember, she' going to be good-looking and have lots of suitors, too!)--but, at least you'll be having fun and, who knows, you might find someone who fits your criteria after you leave college.

If you opt for choice # 2, you'll have a lot more women to choose from and your odds of finding someone with the kind of personality you seek will be much greater...BUT, you may end up hooking up with a woman who just isn't attractive enough to satisfy you (and your ego) over the long-haul (which could end up putting you in a messy situation down the road) and, again, in the process, you might end up missing out on that unique, special woman who meets all of your criteria--but at least you'll be with someone in a long-term relationship who will be devoted to you (after all, she's getting an "A-list" guy, right?! Though you may not be able to get rid of her if you ever want to....) and have the kind of personality that you are seeking.

If you opt for choice, # 3, things will be much harder (at least initially) and you will need to have a plan of approach similar to what CharredSoul recommended in his post because you will be looking for the "A-list" beauty who is the "exception to the rule" and, by definition, that means that the pool of women who fit this description is going to be quite small--the girl who was the "Ugly Duckling" in high school who has suddenly blossomed, the girl who couldn't find it in herself to hide her intelligence and personality just because she was also attractive, the girl who had everything needed to go to Harvard, Stanford, Vassar, etc. except money, the girl who became so committed to something as a younger girl that she wouldn't let go of it just to be with the "In" crowd, but who had the right genes, money or looks that the "In" crowd didn't hold that against her, etc. There are girls like that out there (one of my five nieces is one: an ungainly, "Ugly Duckling", who blossomed into a tall, slender, beautiful blonde who is a rising star for a top Washington PR firm and, at the same time, is a truly caring, intelligent conversationalist), but you have to look hard for them and you may not find one right away. She may be tucked away in the library or lab or playing field hockey or tennis...or just going around campus secretively looking for a guy like you--not the "handsome, egotistical asshole", but the bright, good-looking guy who isn't bouncing from bed to bed because he can, but, rather, would rather be alone for awhile than settle for less than the best.

As I said before, it's your decision.

But, if you are going to seriously look for that woman who is the exceptional one and special kind of person that you say that you want, you're going to have to sit down and figure out where you are going to be most likely to meet a woman like that on your campus and in that area--odds are that she isn't spending a lot of time in the bars, etc.--and try to find ways to put yourself in those places when you are not doing your own work for school. If you're the intelligent guy that you certainly appear to be, then you'll be able to figure that out. And, then it will be up to you to do that and trust to luck that you are intended to meet her at this point in time.

Now, that doesn't mean that you can't go out and have fun and get laid just for the sake of doing that from time to time, it just means that, if you are serious, in wanting to find that extraordinary woman, you're going to have to be willing to spend some time alone while you are hunting for her. Is being with that special woman who meets your criteria worth doing that? Only you can answer that. But, there have been a lot of divorces and loveless marriages and men have lost a lot of money over the years because, rather than waiting and intelligently searching for "Miss Right", they settled for "Miss Not-Quite" or "Miss Right-Now".

The choice is yours....