New to hypnosis, hard to trance, what to expect in trance

[HuntingWolf30]

I've been experimenting with several different files for the past week and have had mixed results in the areas of light trance (and perhaps a semi-existent medium trance) but I am having trouble releasing my conscious mind into a deep one.
Some background on myself- Diagnosed an epileptic as a child with associated seizures (usually in the form of staring spells), it is something I have grown out of as an adult. I am not overly concerned about this condition in regards to hypnosis except in my mind possibly having a conditioned barrier against ignoring conscious perception.

Now, I've tried several variety of inductions and have found I can light trance in most. I can relax and focus on the words but I remain in control of where my mind's voice focuses. I can perceive what my body is doing, especially breathing and swallowing, and at some times get pulled from what I feel is a deepening trance by my heartbeat pounding in my head. I've made an effort at not thinking, ignoring the urge to analyze the physical results of my trance, and even not visualizing except when told to, and these steps seem to help in deepening faster.

I have been to what I feel is the verge of losing consciousness, the release of my analytical mind within the trance. It is my understanding that this is the goal of a deep trance. The black-out of awareness so that the mind is unfiltered.
There is something keeping me from it though. It's like a physical door jammed right there at the edge. At times it has almost seemed physically painful, as my body begins to tremble slightly and my eyes try to roll back or move in an attention getting way. Again, I'm still just-conscious even in my deepest point so far so these things will pull me back up and away from the edge.
I also seem to be someone who takes a long time to deepen into a trance. Some files have the basic induction script and the five-count doesn't seem to allow me enough time to sink far enough to get into the deeper part that a ten does. I can feel a difference in their results.
Spiral's inductions have helped and I will continue to use them to attune myself to the feelings of trance. Perhaps I simply need more experience before the tough stuff.
My seeming preferences are as follows: I respond faster and more comfortably to female voices (who doesn't) that aren't generated (voice gens put me off a bit because of the broken flow). I also seem to do better in a few files where I am forced to "track" the voice as it moves around me or alternates left-right. Harmonics seem to give me a twinge in my brain that has to be actively ignored for trance, though I'm not sure at what frequencies yet (in spite of my drummer-ruined ears, I can hear a few of the ultra-hz sounds, like a TV tube's noise, or that one that drives teens batty). Interestingly enough, I get a fairly fast trance from the environment in Haxsaw's "Placed in a girl's body", the sitar music quite relaxing, so the right music seems to help some.
I played last night with an induction file and hypno-spiral and had an interesting reaction. After a couple of minutes of staring into the center, feeling a gradually pulsing of the lines (some didn't move, others seemed to flicker in a straight line out from the center) I saw the whole thing flash several times and then I physically went limp, eyes slamming closed and head lolling forward, even though the audio was still only trying to edge me into relaxation. The sudden loss of visual triggered my conscious to come back immediately, aware that I was sitting in an uncomfortable desk chair and likely to fall over. Even still, I had that flashing image of the spiral in my eyelids for a few hours when I relaxed thought and closed my eyes.

I have tried several "while under" and "you will awaken as" files and have only had minor reactions. Both certainly depend on the depth of the trance for them to work, but the "under" files can be more effective. In the above mentioned file, I slightly perceived the physical changes instructed and then froze for as long as I wanted, coming out when I tired of being motionless. My visualization on that was something I had to work for, likely keeping my semi-conscious state in effect.
With wake ups I seem to come fully aware for a few seconds, feel compelled back into a light trance (with the feeling of another "wall" of consciousness, and then take some time in a very light trance to come back to, sometimes feeling skin crawl or other perceived hallucinations vaguely related to the file. It's never the actual intended effects.

I know it's long for a first post, but as I headlined the post with, I am not sure what I should expect, even allowing for everyone to be somewhat different. Perhaps someone has advice on how to deal with the deepen aspect. In any case, I am finding the receiving end of hypnosis to be quite interesting and the sending end increasingly so from an intellectual point. Hope to post more and maybe success.
-Hunter

[Endo]

I'm way to lazy to read your wall of text, but try isochronic tones as a background sound. They've worked well for me recently. Get Audacity and a Youtube to MP3 downloader (semi-legal, but whatever), find a good Youtube rendering of isos, and paste it into your files. Might help you.

[HuntingWolf30]

Success! I listened to MistE's "Arm lift and visual induction" and got a solid deep trance, so much so that when her induction ended without bringing me back up I started to wonder how I would get back out of that place.
It's not what I imagined. I was perfectly aware of what she was saying and can remember it clearly, but the difference was that my mind did not want to wander from her voice at all. That "jammed door" my mind was coming up against wasn't a door at all, it was just another wall to be ignored in passing. That's about the only way I can describe it now.
I tried the "Succubus Dreams" immediately after and had a nearly solid perception of it all, along with the physical effects.

I can tell this is something I'm going to have to be careful with, as it's too much fun.

[danny1988]

Congrats :)

Im going to have to try what you did sounds like you were axactly how I seem to be atm I just need something to help my mind into trance more xD

Danni

[HuntingWolf30]

Repetition of a file helps. Getting comfortable with the sensations was probably my largest hurdle. Experiencing a trance for the first time was an odd sensation and that was enough to snap me shallower, if not entirely out.
About the only things I can recommend are the following, based my own observations:
-get very comfortable. The less you have to adjust your body the less you have to focus on it.
-focus on the voice. At the times I let my focus slack I bounced up a bit. at first I would repeat them in my head, but I finally just tried not doing so, just listening, and that helped.
-that barrier you feel between light and deep trance.... It's not really there. As I said above, it felt like a locked door to me, a door at the end of a hallway in my mind, preventing me from going deeper. the other night I realized that it wasn't a door I was staring at, but the wall of the hallway. I turned (or slid) left (I remember this) and simply went around that barrier into deep trance.
Interestingly enough, the physical pain I seemed to feel when I hit that wall was in the left side of my forehead. Perhaps someone studied in brain plumbing can identify whether that is likely to be related.

[danny1988]

Thanks for the info :)

Well I listened to it last night and well it was different I will say that. I dont think I went really deep im a bit emotional atm and I tend to have a hard time trancing when im like this. But I found it easy to focus on her voice in the file and time flew by when I listened.

I also felt all tingly like she said :)
Seems I am having better progress now for some reason. I hope this continues.