I inexplicably allowed this weird woman to grope me.

[louisa]

I joined this forum because i can't explain what is happening to me. I am 45 year old heterosexual married woman. My husband and I have been married for 19 years and have a 17 year old daughter ! I am 5 ft 11 tall and that, coupled with being well built and well endowed(i have very large breasts) i can even carry a few extra pounds without looking tubby.


I've always had big boobs. I easily had the largest chest in my high school. I am big woman. I am 5 ft 11 and being well endowed well built and curvy always on high heels makes me HUGE! But I love my height and my curvy stature. About two years ago I was at Costco with my daughter and this little boy pointed at me and said something like: "Gush mom, look at her, she is giant!!!" I don’t intend to dress in any particular ‘way’ for anyone. I just wear what I like. I wear clothes that fit me properly. I don’t wear anything vulgar but because of my body type anything i wear looks tight on me. Being tall and curvy draws attention on its own. This can be both positive and negative. I tower over plenty of men and women. I was sexualised from a very early age, and shamed for the way my body looks – something I have no control over. I can’t help how wide my hips grow or how big my breasts get.
.

My mother used to shame me for the way my body looked. If I wanted to wear a skirt or dress, she always discouraged it, she always thought my skirt was ‘too short’ or ‘too tight’, or there was something wrong with my dress-sense. There’s always guys flirting or asking me for my number. When I go out in public guys start talking to me and subtly try to ask me out. I have trouble being mean so i cant get them to leave me alone. I end up getting stressed by it. The irony is that all this time I’ve been afraid of men, perceiving any touch as a sexual advance that I should fear – when really, it was a short, skinny older women I should have feared..







I am a small business owner. I own a store. About two weeks ago this skinny really short like 5 ft 3 ugly pale face creepy brown eyes thin lips light brown haired with Chin-Length haircut kinda masculine woman in her late 50s started working at the independent bookstore next door. 3 days ago i arrived at my store. I was wearing a black and white striped long sleeve satin blouse buttoned up to the top tucked into black leather leggings and 5 inch heels black shoes. I had my long black fur coat over my shoulders. I had full make up on. This small pale bookstore clerk woman was there outside . I got out of my car. She was measuring me with her eyes as surely as a seamstress measures before she cuts. She walked up to me and said" Hi mrs Louisa. You have such a regal bearing. You are so shiney. You always look so glammed up. You have a beautiful coat. Wow. The size difference between us is beyond comical. You are sooo tall. I wanted to meet you, we are neighbors. But you were just too busy to talk and i didn't want to intrude. Don't be afraid. I don't wear a mask because i had covid in September. I guess i am immune now". she told me.

" Ooh, me too. I had covid in November. That is why i don't wear a mask. Also masks ruin make up. And i love make up. " i replied. .

"Listen Louisa, earlier today your employees told me that your computer is messed up. I can help you with that. I have some knowledge. "

"Thank you so much , really. I need my computer fixed. '' i thanked her.

"No need to thank me Louisa. We are neighbors. Wow your bra size must be 40DD. On a shorter woman they would look cartoonish or disproportionately huge , but you are a giantess, so I knew that they are a double handful of natural massive breasts. ! I am fascinated with the size of your boobs. As you can see I am totally flat. My breasts are tiny. "You are such a massive woman. Your breasts look absolutely huge, even with your blouse buttoned up to the top. They are vaulting off your chest and being seen from your side and even behind you i can still see your breasts .Your breasts are sooo large. They are massive. This blouse you are wearing is so tight fitting that stretches taut across your chest, it is buttoned up to the top but the buttons are almost threatening to pop free. " The small pale bookstore clerk said with a great enthusiasm. .




I didn't know how to respond to that. .

"Those are perfect Louisa. Too perfect. Alright, I'm sorry, but they can't be left alone." Saying this, the small pale creepy bookstore clerk, started to reach for my breasts ( her face was exactly the level of my breasts).

"Hey! I am not a touchy feely person!"i replied

"Yeah, but this is too good to pass up. Let me feel them for a bit. "she said.

"Okay you.....OH!" My train of thought and almost-acceptance of her proposal was interrupted by her small hands moving onto my breasts.... eagerly groping them. She used both hands to cup and squeeze my breasts. She rubbed her hands in little circles, intensifying the pressure, then backing off, then intensifying it again. This small pale creepy older woman wasn't just grabbing my breasts. She was lightly massaging my breasts and admiring them. I was sighing occasionally, sometimes looking away, only to look back down at her hands doing their work on my boobs. These two women my employees were watching through the glass. They were shocked. I just met this weirdo small pale woman, but for some reason i decided to tolerate her groping. I've always had big boobs. I easily had the largest chest in my high school. But I was one of the lucky ones that's never had her boobs grabbed, touched, or jiggled before. My lack of familiarity with this type of situation was not just limited to being groped either, as so far i had no involvement with lesbians at all.


It was just awkward. I was just standing there stiff as a board while she was feeling up my boobs . Also my coat was over my shoulders(balancing a coat on your shoulders isn’t easy. Your shoulders must remain lifted, keeping the luxe fabric from slipping off and down your back.) She finally stopped rubbing my breasts, put her small hands on my waist and suggested we should go inside. We went inside.

I took my coat off and hung it on a coat hanger by the door. The pale small pale bookstore clerk walked towards my desk and sat on my chair. My employees were obviously weirded out, but they didn't say anything. So i just stood there in the middle of my store, while she was fixing my computer. Then she said "Come round here. I fix it, but probably you don't want to lose this document , it's not saved "

I sighed and moved around my desk to stand beside her. As i bent forward at the waist to tap at the keyboard the small pale book clerk pushed my chair back a little to give me more room. Her re-positioning also gave her a much better view of my butt. I was bent over, with my ass jutting out towards her.

"No idea what you've done here, but thanks" i muttered under my breath as i tried to save the document.

I abruptly tensed, pausing my typing as i felt one of her small hands stroke over my right buttock. I grimaced slightly, but resuming my typing without saying anything to the weirdo pale woman about her straying hand.

"Come in a little closer," the pale small clerk instructed as her other hand came up to my ass. She gave my bottom a lightly squeeze through my leggings, filling each of her palms.

"I think that's it, thanks" I said after a moment more, during which her groping hands squeezed my ass.

"No need to thank me" the small creepy pale clerk replied with a grin as she gave me a pat on my bottom. .

I quickly disentangled myself and moved out from behind my desk. Then she got up and approached me from behind. I gasped as she put her arms around my waist.

She said, "I am admiring you Louisa. You are everything that i am not. You are a massive woman. You are much taller and bigger than me. This beautiful clothes are so tight on you because of your body type. You are so sophisticated and elegant. I am fascinated with you. You look so polished. You are a sophisticated, elegant, upper middle class, tall woman. "

She then slid her hands up my stomach, and grabbed both of my breasts. I gasped, but otherwise did nothing, as the small pale old woman reached around and kneaded both of my breasts, lifting and squeezing them. My head was up and my chest heaved out, as i got goosed and tit – fondled. We were standing in the middle of my own store. My employees passed by, staring, then averting their eyes at the incongruous scene, the massive tall woman their boss standing still, letting the small skinny old woman to fondle her breasts. They saw me standing there, my breasts being lifted, squeezed and jiggled, never trying to escape or force this weirdo woman away.





I had no defense against her hands. I was kinda hypnotized. She just kept rubbing, lifting and squeezing my breasts.
I felt vulnerable. I don't understand why, but I offered to the small pale creepy clerk that she could feel me any way she wanted for as long as she wanted and i wouldn't try to stop her. She asked " i can grab your breasts and ass, for as long as i want, and you won't stop me?" I answered the only way i knew to avoid conflict. "yes, go ahead, touch me all you want, anywhere I swear, as long as i am fully clothed and you are touching me through clothes i don't mind. I don t feel nothing. I am totally numb. I am a heterosexual woman " She asked again," are you sure about that?"
I was near hysterics now and i answered "yes, absolutely. you can touch all you want. But I need to pee now ".

"Don t worry Louisa, !"the small pale clerk said and finally removed her hands from my breasts. As i walked off towards the bathroom, she thanked me and went outside.

What is wrong with me? I’m so ashamed that I couldn’t even say no or push this short skinny old woman away. The issue i need to address is not this woman groper but my passive reaction. For some reason i cannot, do not, fight this woman off as i would some male who groped me. I even gave consent to her. I knew EVERYTHING she did to me, but I didn't mind. Not having the willpower nor the desire to resist. Why? It was almost an out-of-body experience, watching myself allowing her hands to crawl over me. I didn't get lesbian pleasure out of this. (I am strictly heterosexual - i am not a closet lesbian.) I am not scared of this woman groper. I just couldn’t verbalize a succinct “NO” to this short skinny creepy woman. I didn’t say anything or tell her to stop. Why? What is wrong with me? And this predatory woman groper is physically completely harmless. She is not tough and strong. She doesn't look intimidating. She is creepy and masculine but she is just a short, skinny, tiny old woman. I am physically stronger than her.


This creepy repulsive short skinny pale woman humiliated me and degraded me in a subtle way in front of my employees. I am starting to think that this is a way for her to humiliate me in front of them and gain power over me . Because a lot of people here in this community think that I'm stuck up upper middle class arrogant overdressed snob because I tend to ignore them. When i am in an environment where I do not know everyone I can come as arrogant and stuck up depending on the setting.Is truly a defensive mechanism though.I got the feeling that a lot of people here in this community think i am just arrogant snob.


I want to talk about this situation, because this is new to me. I am not scared of this woman groper. I just couldn’t verbalize a succinct “NO” to this short skinny creepy woman. I didn’t say anything or tell her to stop. Why? Is it possible that i was somehow hypnotized?

[keybounce]

I don't know about hypnosis, but looking at this, I see the following:

1. She started with compliments, and showing respect, getting you to lower your guard, and painting a "lady on a pedestal" image.

2: In the middle of this, she tried to give you re-assurance about masking/safety, and you actually responded with "Me too" -- which tells your brain a sense of "Same tribe". That's actually going to lower your resistance to something that comes later.

3. This was followed immediately by an offer of help/assistance, that you accepted. Basically, you've now told your brain that this person is helpful/trusted.

4. You got more flattery; sounds like a lot of it. Now your brain is entering confusion state.

5. She then went with seriously unexpected touch, which probably had the same PGO spike of instant inductions because it was so unexpected.

6. She did not stop, so suddenly you were getting physical pleasure sensations. This has nothing to do with being hetero/homo; this is just plain tactile simulation that reaches your threshold. Again, it's all unexpected, so it's continuing to be brain confusion.

At this point, you have created a sense of trust, similar to the "yes-set" effect; a sense of confusion; a PGO spike; a strong tactile pleasure factor.

[quote]"Yeah, but this is too good to pass up. Let me feel them for a bit. "she said.[/quote]

Agreeing with you, and then a suggestion to let it continue. This line seems to be the push-over / tripping point. Prior to this, you started to show resistance to her actions. After this, you have none.

I am definitely a beginner studying conversational hypnosis, but this looks like it. That's not to say it was intentional; this could just be someone's personal fetish.

This is followed by instructions, that you comply with; more of the same; etc.

[quote] She asked " i can grab your breasts and ass, for as long as i want, and you won't stop me?"[/quote]

That's not just a question. That's about as classic of a hypnotic suggetion as you can get. Note the word order, and note what your mental state was at this point.

[quote] I don t feel nothing. I am totally numb. I am a heterosexual woman[/quote]
This seems to be your attempt to "survive" past this, for lack of any other wording. Basically, you are distancing "you" from your body. But, my understanding is that this is actually just going deeper into trance -- the separating "you" from "your body" is a classic induction/deepening technique, and I've seen hypnotists who go "May I borrow that hand", pointing to a person's off-hand, as a way to confuse the brain and disassociate the body.

[quote] Not having the willpower nor the desire to resist. Why? It was almost an out-of-body experience, watching myself allowing her hands to crawl over me.[/quote]

Nothing to do with will power. Your brain was in a state of confusion; your body was in a state of "This is desirable". Calling it an "out of body experience, watching yourself" is a really good indication that you were in a trance.

So yea, you were in a trance, and she was giving you suggestions. That's hypnosis.

How would you deal with this person in the future? Well, basically, be aware of this now. Be willing to push her away if she touches you. Use the word "No". Tell yourself that she is not your tribe, not trusted.

[louisa]

[quote="keybounce"]I don't know about hypnosis, but looking at this, I see the following:

1. She started with compliments, and showing respect, getting you to lower your guard, and painting a "lady on a pedestal" image.

2: In the middle of this, she tried to give you re-assurance about masking/safety, and you actually responded with "Me too" -- which tells your brain a sense of "Same tribe". That's actually going to lower your resistance to something that comes later.

3. This was followed immediately by an offer of help/assistance, that you accepted. Basically, you've now told your brain that this person is helpful/trusted.

4. You got more flattery; sounds like a lot of it. Now your brain is entering confusion state.

5. She then went with seriously unexpected touch, which probably had the same PGO spike of instant inductions because it was so unexpected.

6. She did not stop, so suddenly you were getting physical pleasure sensations. This has nothing to do with being hetero/homo; this is just plain tactile simulation that reaches your threshold. Again, it's all unexpected, so it's continuing to be brain confusion.

At this point, you have created a sense of trust, similar to the "yes-set" effect; a sense of confusion; a PGO spike; a strong tactile pleasure factor.

[quote]"Yeah, but this is too good to pass up. Let me feel them for a bit. "she said.[/quote]

Agreeing with you, and then a suggestion to let it continue. This line seems to be the push-over / tripping point. Prior to this, you started to show resistance to her actions. After this, you have none.

I am definitely a beginner studying conversational hypnosis, but this looks like it. That's not to say it was intentional; this could just be someone's personal fetish.

This is followed by instructions, that you comply with; more of the same; etc.

[quote] She asked " i can grab your breasts and ass, for as long as i want, and you won't stop me?"[/quote]

That's not just a question. That's about as classic of a hypnotic suggetion as you can get. Note the word order, and note what your mental state was at this point.

[quote] I don t feel nothing. I am totally numb. I am a heterosexual woman[/quote]
This seems to be your attempt to "survive" past this, for lack of any other wording. Basically, you are distancing "you" from your body. But, my understanding is that this is actually just going deeper into trance -- the separating "you" from "your body" is a classic induction/deepening technique, and I've seen hypnotists who go "May I borrow that hand", pointing to a person's off-hand, as a way to confuse the brain and disassociate the body.

[quote] Not having the willpower nor the desire to resist. Why? It was almost an out-of-body experience, watching myself allowing her hands to crawl over me.[/quote]

Nothing to do with will power. Your brain was in a state of confusion; your body was in a state of "This is desirable". Calling it an "out of body experience, watching yourself" is a really good indication that you were in a trance.

So yea, you were in a trance, and she was giving you suggestions. That's hypnosis.

How would you deal with this person in the future? Well, basically, be aware of this now. Be willing to push her away if she touches you. Use the word "No". Tell yourself that she is not your tribe, not trusted.[/quote]
Thank you for your response. I realized that i really have a problem with being able to say "no" to this creepy small touchy feely pale woman . You are right. I was definitely somehow hypnotized by her? I was taken advantage by this groper woman . I’ve found that I’m extremely accommodating in order to avoid conflict with this weird touchy feely woman and stir the pot. This feeling of foolishness. That is exactly how i feel. I was so much embarrassed . I overanalyze this. My employees there probably were silently thinking it is bizarre. Also this handsy creepy small pale woman is not physically threatening to me at all, so maybe that is why they didn't react to my defense. .


It seems as though this woman targeted me from the very beginning. I am physically stronger than her. Standing next to me she looks like a midget but she is not intimidated by me. Why? She is so invasive and creepy. This short pale creepy old woman just made a decision that she's going to touch me and rub my breasts, and butt. It's just the fact that she took control of me, she did whatever she wanted to me . She just took what she wanted. She was inappropriately touching me and groping me in front of my employees and random people on the street. But it is all my fault. Honestly i would scream my head off if a man did it but I couldn’t verbalize a succinct “NO” to this short skinny weird pale clerk. I didn’t say anything or tell her to stop. I had this feeling of completely losing control of my body, and being completely at her mercy. I was somehow hypnotized by her. She was publicly groping me and rubbing me while i just stood there stiff as a board. If a man did this to me it would pretty much constitute sexual harassment, but because she is a small older woman she thinks i will let her get away with it, and i did. I strongly suspect that i am targeted by this woman, maybe she is seething with envy of me and my life, and she wants to publicly dominate me.

[louisa]

[quote="keybounce"]I don't know about hypnosis, but looking at this, I see the following:

1. She started with compliments, and showing respect, getting you to lower your guard, and painting a "lady on a pedestal" image.

2: In the middle of this, she tried to give you re-assurance about masking/safety, and you actually responded with "Me too" -- which tells your brain a sense of "Same tribe". That's actually going to lower your resistance to something that comes later.

3. This was followed immediately by an offer of help/assistance, that you accepted. Basically, you've now told your brain that this person is helpful/trusted.

4. You got more flattery; sounds like a lot of it. Now your brain is entering confusion state.

5. She then went with seriously unexpected touch, which probably had the same PGO spike of instant inductions because it was so unexpected.

6. She did not stop, so suddenly you were getting physical pleasure sensations. This has nothing to do with being hetero/homo; this is just plain tactile simulation that reaches your threshold. Again, it's all unexpected, so it's continuing to be brain confusion.

At this point, you have created a sense of trust, similar to the "yes-set" effect; a sense of confusion; a PGO spike; a strong tactile pleasure factor.

[quote]"Yeah, but this is too good to pass up. Let me feel them for a bit. "she said.[/quote]

Agreeing with you, and then a suggestion to let it continue. This line seems to be the push-over / tripping point. Prior to this, you started to show resistance to her actions. After this, you have none.

I am definitely a beginner studying conversational hypnosis, but this looks like it. That's not to say it was intentional; this could just be someone's personal fetish.

This is followed by instructions, that you comply with; more of the same; etc.

[quote] She asked " i can grab your breasts and ass, for as long as i want, and you won't stop me?"[/quote]

That's not just a question. That's about as classic of a hypnotic suggetion as you can get. Note the word order, and note what your mental state was at this point.

[quote] I don t feel nothing. I am totally numb. I am a heterosexual woman[/quote]
This seems to be your attempt to "survive" past this, for lack of any other wording. Basically, you are distancing "you" from your body. But, my understanding is that this is actually just going deeper into trance -- the separating "you" from "your body" is a classic induction/deepening technique, and I've seen hypnotists who go "May I borrow that hand", pointing to a person's off-hand, as a way to confuse the brain and disassociate the body.

[quote] Not having the willpower nor the desire to resist. Why? It was almost an out-of-body experience, watching myself allowing her hands to crawl over me.[/quote]

Nothing to do with will power. Your brain was in a state of confusion; your body was in a state of "This is desirable". Calling it an "out of body experience, watching yourself" is a really good indication that you were in a trance.

So yea, you were in a trance, and she was giving you suggestions. That's hypnosis.

How would you deal with this person in the future? Well, basically, be aware of this now. Be willing to push her away if she touches you. Use the word "No". Tell yourself that she is not your tribe, not trusted.[/quote]
Next time i run into this pale woman i am going to put a lot of distance between the two of us. I like to think I'd do something more assertive if it happened again but realistically this small pale hands on woman probably will get away with touching me and groping me. I am avoiding her. But she works at the bookstore next door. This woman is definitely the weirdest person i have ever met. I don’t want to go to my own store because of this weird touchy feely woman.This small pale woman groper definitely has social behavior issues. To be honest i think that she is some kind of hypnotist. If a man did that to me i would probably slapped him. But this woman is so invasive. I have never encountered this sort of person before. This groper woman is hard to read. She got away with touching me and groping me. I have never punched another person. I've never punched anyone. I can't just punch her in the face.I am physically stronger than her,standing next to me she looks like a midget,she is short and skinny,but i have never been in a fight my whole life.I am afraid of any kind of physical altercation. I've never been in a fight. I was sucker punched one time in high school by a friend who incorrectly assumed I was talking crap about her but I was with a group of girl friends and chose not to fight back so I told her "let's handle it after school" but we were both pulled in to the office shortly afterwards and she was suspended. Nothing happened to me.

I have an overwhelming amount of attention from men. As long as I remember….I've attracted men like crazy. Usually, it's always lust is why they are so drawn to me. But I have never been groped by a strange man. Probably because of my bitch resting face. When I have a blank expression people assume that I'm in a bad mood.

[grover27]

This is a different type of posting for these parts. Welcome to the WMM forums and thank you for sharing your story and issue. I found your story fascinating and am sorry to say that I am a guy that is attracted to tall curvy women, so I'm sure I enjoyed your story even more because of the visuals. I am sorry that this happened to you, as I am sure it is haunting your mind - both what happened and how you could have let it happen. First, it's not your fault, so don't beat yourself up over it. Second, I like to look at these moments as little tests in life that we can learn and grow from and become stronger people. Life is about constantly improving as a person - this experience will definitely serve as a lesson in your life and perhaps strengthen you for a bigger and more serious challenge.

I think the other poster pretty damn nailed the hypno influence of what happened. So I definitely concur with that.

I want to explore a little more though.

A few things. First, this woman is definitely "different". I've met strange people like this in my life (most happen to be women, but some men) and they are just unusual creatures that live life by a very different set of rules. Was she versed in hypnotism and trying to hypnotize you or was she just so outside of society norms that you were taken aback and didn't know how to react? I suspect the latter, but it works the same way in terms of confusing you and throwing you off your game. A similar thing (well not exactly) happened to me and my wife this weekend when a homeless man approached us and worked his game to get some money. When you are hit with things that you don't expect, they can serve to put you in a bit of a trance.

You call her a pale ugly short woman (or forms of that) throughout your story. You clearly identify her in this very negative way. Is it possible that you felt sorry for her in some subconcious way? Almost like a guilt. "White privilege" is the current buzzword and people are certainly going out of their way to prove it doesn't apply to them. Do you perhaps have sexy tall woman privilege guilt issues that made you feel like you owe it to this ugly woman to give her a little thrill or give her her way? After all, was it really hurting you? and it was clearly making her day, right? Don't you owe her that much for the great gift you have been given with your looks while she has been cursed with being short, pale and ugly? Those are rhetorical questions, but think about whether you might relate to that.

I think you need to reflect on this pretty deeply. Take some time to yourself to almost meditate on it and think about what you wish you would have done and then play that scene over again and again in your mind the way that you would have wanted it to go down. Then be prepared with that new scene in your head so that you can react the "right" way the next time you see her. Perhaps also consider reading this book: https://www.amazon.com/When-Say-No-Feel ... 0553263900

Build up your strength now so you are ready for your next encounter. You owe her nothing and you certainly shouldn't let her touch you again.

Good luck!

[louisa]

[quote="grover27"]This is a different type of posting for these parts. Welcome to the WMM forums and thank you for sharing your story and issue. I found your story fascinating and am sorry to say that I am a guy that is attracted to tall curvy women, so I'm sure I enjoyed your story even more because of the visuals. I am sorry that this happened to you, as I am sure it is haunting your mind - both what happened and how you could have let it happen. First, it's not your fault, so don't beat yourself up over it. Second, I like to look at these moments as little tests in life that we can learn and grow from and become stronger people. Life is about constantly improving as a person - this experience will definitely serve as a lesson in your life and perhaps strengthen you for a bigger and more serious challenge.

I think the other poster pretty damn nailed the hypno influence of what happened. So I definitely concur with that.

I want to explore a little more though.

A few things. First, this woman is definitely "different". I've met strange people like this in my life (most happen to be women, but some men) and they are just unusual creatures that live life by a very different set of rules. Was she versed in hypnotism and trying to hypnotize you or was she just so outside of society norms that you were taken aback and didn't know how to react? I suspect the latter, but it works the same way in terms of confusing you and throwing you off your game. A similar thing (well not exactly) happened to me and my wife this weekend when a homeless man approached us and worked his game to get some money. When you are hit with things that you don't expect, they can serve to put you in a bit of a trance.

You call her a pale ugly short woman (or forms of that) throughout your story. You clearly identify her in this very negative way. Is it possible that you felt sorry for her in some subconcious way? Almost like a guilt. "White privilege" is the current buzzword and people are certainly going out of their way to prove it doesn't apply to them. Do you perhaps have sexy tall woman privilege guilt issues that made you feel like you owe it to this ugly woman to give her a little thrill or give her her way? After all, was it really hurting you? and it was clearly making her day, right? Don't you owe her that much for the great gift you have been given with your looks while she has been cursed with being short, pale and ugly? Those are rhetorical questions, but think about whether you might relate to that.

I think you need to reflect on this pretty deeply. Take some time to yourself to almost meditate on it and think about what you wish you would have done and then play that scene over again and again in your mind the way that you would have wanted it to go down. Then be prepared with that new scene in your head so that you can react the "right" way the next time you see her. Perhaps also consider reading this book: https://www.amazon.com/When-Say-No-Feel ... 0553263900

Build up your strength now so you are ready for your next encounter. You owe her nothing and you certainly shouldn't let her touch you again.

Good luck![/quote]
Maybe you are right. Maybe subconsciously i know that this handsy short older skinny woman is not physically threatening to me at all, and the chances that she could actually rape me are virtually nil. Maybe that is why i was so submissive to her. Maybe i am "comfortable" with this groper midget woman because i know that she is physically harmless. I'm so worried that this isn't normal! Having my ass rubbed and my breasts rubbed (over clothes) publicly by this woman is something I tolerated. I even gave her consent. What is wrong with me?


You are right. I do feel a little sorry for her. But why? I am big woman. I am 5 ft 11 and being well endowed well built and curvy always on high heels makes me HUGE! But I love my height and my curvy stature. So you are probably right. These woman groper is total opposite of me. Maybe that is why i feel sorry for her? I am a straight woman. I know that this doesn't mean that I'm gay as such, because I've had sex with men and I like men! I am a straight woman. I have never been attracted to a woman sexually. I am STRICTLY hetero. I've never had any desire to do anything sexual with a female. I am a straight woman, I love men, simple! Also to be honest this touchy feely pale woman groper is ugly, creepy and repulsive to me. She looks like a short skinny ugly effeminate man. I'm not attracted to this old short skinny woman or anything. As far as having intimacy with a woman? That's just something that I haven't done and will probably not do so. Im a straight woman never got turned on by a women.

[grover27]

I see you are concerned about your sexuality here. I can assure you that this incident does not make you homosexual. Far from it. Just like a guy wanting to be pegged by a woman doesn't make him homosexual. You are only homosexual if you have an attraction to the same sex and not the opposite sex. That is clearly not the case with you. Even if you were bisexual, you have not discovered that side of yourself and you certainly aren't going to discover it in the hands of this woman. This woman is purely a weird predator who molested you. What she did is against the law. It's an interesting question regarding whether she used covert hypnotism on purpose against you or if her actions just had the same effect, but regardless, she molested you.

Now, if you are still struggling with this, perhaps what you are struggling with is a new found pleasure of being submissive. You've said nothing about your sex life but if you have always felt that because you are an Amazon woman that you are expected to be more dominant, then perhaps you for the first time have been taken back by the pleasures of submission. If that is the case, then there are much safer ways to discover submission. Play with some of the hypno tracks on this site for example, or let your husband know that you want him to be more dominant and you want to role play as sexually submissive. I for one strive to be an alpha male in my daily life but I again and again fall into the need to experience the pleasure of being submissive. They have a term "subspace" which means you go into a trance like state when you truly submit. It's freeing and peaceful and pleasurable, and perhaps that is what you experienced. That said, if my wife ever said she wanted me to submit to me and experience pure dominance, I would be all over that in a heartbeat too.

Regardless, explore it with someone you trust and tell this unwelcomed molester to fuck off.

[keybounce]

I'm going to address this differently. I hope that this will help you.

Let me be clear here: I'm looking to put you in a trance and do some hypnosis on you now. If you don't want that, skip to the next message.

*WAIT*

Were you about to skip to the next message?

Then: GOOD.

That means you just said, "I don't want to be hypnotized".

Do you see what I did? Ok, here it is again:

I gave you notice that I was going to hypnotize you, and told you what to do to not be hypnotized. And you could choose that.

What happens when this lady comes up to you next time? Lets say you can tell when she is trying to do something that would put you in trance. You can say "No". Just like you did there.

You can choose to not be in trance.

So lets start with the second part. The "Here's what you do if you want to avoid trance". This lady presumably will want to touch you, will say things to confuse you, will give your brain a "What's going on???" spike, and then rely on physical, sensual touch to keep your brain in overload.

So lets look at interrupting that.

You can push her arm away, and say "no".
You can recognize confusion, and say to yourself, "She is not trusted".
You can *practice* in your mind what she might do so that you do not have the confusion when it happens (NB: this is a two-sided sword -- it solves one problem but opens another, see below).
And you can, now that you have been through "overload" and know what it feels like, recognize it and tell yourself "The next time this happens, I will say
'no' and walk away".

That "practice" that I mentioned before? It's simple imagination. Imagine what she might do, and how you would react.
The "good" of this: It removes the confusion by teaching your brain what to expect next.
The "bad" of this: It teaches your brain what to expect next.
To make this work, and work *for* you, and not against you, your imagination has to include 1, she touches you, 2, you recognize that the touch has a sensation, and 3, you respond with no.

She touches you -- that's an external that you have no control over.
The touch has a sensation -- Drop it from a sense of sensuality triggering your pleasure center, to a plain dull fact of your body. Remove the pleasure center activity in response to the touch. "Depleasure" the experience.

When you can imagine the touch happening without any pleasure associated with it, that's the point of success.

So that's what to do to avoid being tranced/deepened. Now, lets look at recognizing the induction in the first place, so you can see "Hey, this is what I don't want".

In some sense, this is a big question. There are many ways to do conversational hypnosis. We haven't seen anything that indicates (yet) that this person is maliciously and knowingly trying to hypnotize you. They could just have a fetish, they could have a crush for some reason, etc; they might have just learned that behavior like this just works because most people don't have any idea how to respond.

So one option is just "I'm sorry, I don't want to talk to you" every time they try to come up to you. Just refuse to listen to them. Carry out your life normally, just exclude them from it.

That's the simplest way.

Another way? Well, anything else means that you'll have to listen to them, and talk to them. But you have to remember that you don't trust them. Maybe this is something you can't really do.

I'm looking over your posts. Please tell me if anything here is wrong. Please do not just assume that what I am saying here is fact. What I am saying here is observation. This is accurate observation, but it is up to you to tell if it is fact or not.

IMPORTANT: Do not lie to yourself here. You might see things here that are true that you do not want to acknowledge. If you want to prevent someone from hypnotizing you like that, you need to be able to recognize truth as opposed to a lie you want to believe.

Here are my observations. Again, tell me if I'm wrong. Or, tell me if what I'm saying is both true and something you don't want to be true. Or, tell me if it's true and you are OK with it.

1. You are constantly talking about your body and your boobs/chest. The impression I get is that your self-image is significantly defined by your body shape.

2. You made it clear that you regarded any touch as a sexual advance. (NB: Note that when this lady touched you, your body wanted to both treat it as a sexual thing, and a "I'm not that type" non-sexual thing. I think this is the source of the confusion factor in your brain -- it was coming to both opposing conclusions at the same time, and you had nothing to resolve that confusion with.)

Initially, I think this is what you need to change -- regard touch as not inherently sexual in nature.

3. You talk about her body shape, and her actions as a groper, as if this is all that defines her.

4. You are constantly talking about, and paying attention to, her controlling you. What you pay attention to will persist; as long as you are constantly focusing on being controlled, that's what's expected. You have to move past the thoughts of being controlled.

[quote]When I go out in public guys start talking to me and subtly try to ask me out. I have trouble being mean so i cant get them to leave me alone. I end up getting stressed by it. [/quote]

So don't be mean, just say "No". "I'm not interested". "Sorry, I'm married". "Can you make a friend before you make a pass?". "I don't know you, and my husband does not know you". "If you only see a body, you insult me and everything else about me". Etc. These are not mean (well, that last one maybe).

Then, we see you describing the other lady. Again, you are constantly referring to her body description. This gets back to "Self image is based on body shape".

Next message / your response:

Again, body shape, and reference to "groper". So let me ask you:

Who are you if you are not your body shape?

What are you if you are not your body shape? (NB: "what", not "who")

Who are you if you are not your husband's wife?

Who are you if you are not this person's target?

What are you if you are not being touched?

What are you if you are not afraid of touch?

When you can get an answer for who you are that has nothing to do with body, sensuality, touch, etc, then you have something to rely on, to fall back to, to avoid confusion brain lock.

[quote]It's just the fact that she took control of me, she did whatever she wanted to me . She just took what she wanted.[/quote]

Yes. And?

She did what she wanted. You were in a state of confusion, and did not know what next.

Now you can say "Next time this happens, this is what happens next". Focus on what touch *newly* means to you, if it does not mean sex; what and who you are after understanding what you are not. You have to make these choices.

[quote]... because she is a small older woman she thinks i will let her get away with it, and i did. I strongly suspect that i am targeted by this woman, maybe she is seething with envy of me and my life, and she wants to publicly dominate me.[/quote]

Never ascribe to malice what can be explained by ... Well, just about anything else.

She thinks you will let her? You did let her. That does not mean you need to let her next time. The future is not defined by past actions, but by choices made reviewing past actions.

[quote] I am avoiding her. But she works at the bookstore next door. ... I don’t want to go to my own store because of this weird touchy feely woman.[/quote]

Avoidance is probably not the answer, just because you cannot get 100% success here. As you said, she's the next door business. So relying on abstinence is no more successful here than for teenagers. Confront and deal with the situation.

[quote]I like to think I'd do something more assertive if it happened again but realistically this small pale hands on woman probably will get away with touching me and groping me. [/quote]
"No." "Please stop touching me", and push her arm with your arm (NB: Don't grab with your hand. There are too many ways for someone with basic martial arts/self defense training to basically control where your arm goes once your hand grabs them like that. Aim to use your wrist to push away.)
And "If you do not stop, I will call the police". And follow up. Make that call. Recognize that they won't come immediately, and might not come for two or three calls. But you can ask to make a statement over the phone, and it may take time, it will happen.
The good news: Your brain will not be in confusion, and you won't go in trance like that.

When she tries this, you will tell her no, and prepare to call the police, as often as it takes until something happens.

---

[quote] I do feel a little sorry for her. But why? I am big woman. I am 5 ft 11 and being well endowed well built and curvy always on high heels makes me HUGE! But I love my height and my curvy stature.[/quote]
This is why. You value X, you have X, she does not, so she is not valued.

[louisa]

[quote="keybounce"]I'm going to address this differently. I hope that this will help you.

Let me be clear here: I'm looking to put you in a trance and do some hypnosis on you now. If you don't want that, skip to the next message.

*WAIT*

Were you about to skip to the next message?

Then: GOOD.

That means you just said, "I don't want to be hypnotized".

Do you see what I did? Ok, here it is again:

I gave you notice that I was going to hypnotize you, and told you what to do to not be hypnotized. And you could choose that.

What happens when this lady comes up to you next time? Lets say you can tell when she is trying to do something that would put you in trance. You can say "No". Just like you did there.

You can choose to not be in trance.

So lets start with the second part. The "Here's what you do if you want to avoid trance". This lady presumably will want to touch you, will say things to confuse you, will give your brain a "What's going on???" spike, and then rely on physical, sensual touch to keep your brain in overload.

So lets look at interrupting that.

You can push her arm away, and say "no".
You can recognize confusion, and say to yourself, "She is not trusted".
You can *practice* in your mind what she might do so that you do not have the confusion when it happens (NB: this is a two-sided sword -- it solves one problem but opens another, see below).
And you can, now that you have been through "overload" and know what it feels like, recognize it and tell yourself "The next time this happens, I will say
'no' and walk away".

That "practice" that I mentioned before? It's simple imagination. Imagine what she might do, and how you would react.
The "good" of this: It removes the confusion by teaching your brain what to expect next.
The "bad" of this: It teaches your brain what to expect next.
To make this work, and work *for* you, and not against you, your imagination has to include 1, she touches you, 2, you recognize that the touch has a sensation, and 3, you respond with no.

She touches you -- that's an external that you have no control over.
The touch has a sensation -- Drop it from a sense of sensuality triggering your pleasure center, to a plain dull fact of your body. Remove the pleasure center activity in response to the touch. "Depleasure" the experience.

When you can imagine the touch happening without any pleasure associated with it, that's the point of success.

So that's what to do to avoid being tranced/deepened. Now, lets look at recognizing the induction in the first place, so you can see "Hey, this is what I don't want".

In some sense, this is a big question. There are many ways to do conversational hypnosis. We haven't seen anything that indicates (yet) that this person is maliciously and knowingly trying to hypnotize you. They could just have a fetish, they could have a crush for some reason, etc; they might have just learned that behavior like this just works because most people don't have any idea how to respond.

So one option is just "I'm sorry, I don't want to talk to you" every time they try to come up to you. Just refuse to listen to them. Carry out your life normally, just exclude them from it.

That's the simplest way.

Another way? Well, anything else means that you'll have to listen to them, and talk to them. But you have to remember that you don't trust them. Maybe this is something you can't really do.

I'm looking over your posts. Please tell me if anything here is wrong. Please do not just assume that what I am saying here is fact. What I am saying here is observation. This is accurate observation, but it is up to you to tell if it is fact or not.

IMPORTANT: Do not lie to yourself here. You might see things here that are true that you do not want to acknowledge. If you want to prevent someone from hypnotizing you like that, you need to be able to recognize truth as opposed to a lie you want to believe.

Here are my observations. Again, tell me if I'm wrong. Or, tell me if what I'm saying is both true and something you don't want to be true. Or, tell me if it's true and you are OK with it.

1. You are constantly talking about your body and your boobs/chest. The impression I get is that your self-image is significantly defined by your body shape.

2. You made it clear that you regarded any touch as a sexual advance. (NB: Note that when this lady touched you, your body wanted to both treat it as a sexual thing, and a "I'm not that type" non-sexual thing. I think this is the source of the confusion factor in your brain -- it was coming to both opposing conclusions at the same time, and you had nothing to resolve that confusion with.)

Initially, I think this is what you need to change -- regard touch as not inherently sexual in nature.

3. You talk about her body shape, and her actions as a groper, as if this is all that defines her.

4. You are constantly talking about, and paying attention to, her controlling you. What you pay attention to will persist; as long as you are constantly focusing on being controlled, that's what's expected. You have to move past the thoughts of being controlled.

[quote]When I go out in public guys start talking to me and subtly try to ask me out. I have trouble being mean so i cant get them to leave me alone. I end up getting stressed by it. [/quote]

So don't be mean, just say "No". "I'm not interested". "Sorry, I'm married". "Can you make a friend before you make a pass?". "I don't know you, and my husband does not know you". "If you only see a body, you insult me and everything else about me". Etc. These are not mean (well, that last one maybe).

Then, we see you describing the other lady. Again, you are constantly referring to her body description. This gets back to "Self image is based on body shape".

Next message / your response:

Again, body shape, and reference to "groper". So let me ask you:

Who are you if you are not your body shape?

What are you if you are not your body shape? (NB: "what", not "who")

Who are you if you are not your husband's wife?

Who are you if you are not this person's target?

What are you if you are not being touched?

What are you if you are not afraid of touch?

When you can get an answer for who you are that has nothing to do with body, sensuality, touch, etc, then you have something to rely on, to fall back to, to avoid confusion brain lock.

[quote]It's just the fact that she took control of me, she did whatever she wanted to me . She just took what she wanted.[/quote]

Yes. And?

She did what she wanted. You were in a state of confusion, and did not know what next.

Now you can say "Next time this happens, this is what happens next". Focus on what touch *newly* means to you, if it does not mean sex; what and who you are after understanding what you are not. You have to make these choices.

[quote]... because she is a small older woman she thinks i will let her get away with it, and i did. I strongly suspect that i am targeted by this woman, maybe she is seething with envy of me and my life, and she wants to publicly dominate me.[/quote]

Never ascribe to malice what can be explained by ... Well, just about anything else.

She thinks you will let her? You did let her. That does not mean you need to let her next time. The future is not defined by past actions, but by choices made reviewing past actions.

[quote] I am avoiding her. But she works at the bookstore next door. ... I don’t want to go to my own store because of this weird touchy feely woman.[/quote]

Avoidance is probably not the answer, just because you cannot get 100% success here. As you said, she's the next door business. So relying on abstinence is no more successful here than for teenagers. Confront and deal with the situation.

[quote]I like to think I'd do something more assertive if it happened again but realistically this small pale hands on woman probably will get away with touching me and groping me. [/quote]
"No." "Please stop touching me", and push her arm with your arm (NB: Don't grab with your hand. There are too many ways for someone with basic martial arts/self defense training to basically control where your arm goes once your hand grabs them like that. Aim to use your wrist to push away.)
And "If you do not stop, I will call the police". And follow up. Make that call. Recognize that they won't come immediately, and might not come for two or three calls. But you can ask to make a statement over the phone, and it may take time, it will happen.
The good news: Your brain will not be in confusion, and you won't go in trance like that.

When she tries this, you will tell her no, and prepare to call the police, as often as it takes until something happens.

---

[quote] I do feel a little sorry for her. But why? I am big woman. I am 5 ft 11 and being well endowed well built and curvy always on high heels makes me HUGE! But I love my height and my curvy stature.[/quote]
This is why. You value X, you have X, she does not, so she is not valued.[/quote]
Thank you. I am so grateful to you. You seem to really get to a bottom of things. You totally understand the complexity of my situation. I feel so foolish and used by this touchy feely woman. I'm just afraid of the next time it'll happen. I'm so passive and weak. I am so embarrassed by the whole thing. She definitely hypnotized me . I didn’t say anything or tell her to stop. I was just standing there letting it happen. I am physically stronger than her and eventually had to push her off me to make her stop,but I was quiet and shocked, I let her touch all over my body. I am so confused about what happened to me! Whether or not it is my fault or not! I feel so ashamed. I'm just lost. Should I even be upset? I was SO embarrassed. It was very frustrating. I don’t think I can discuss this verbally with anyone. I can't even talk to my husband about this. I feel embarrassed and ashamed of myself. I'm confused and my mind doesn't stop.

[louisa]

[quote="keybounce"]I'm going to address this differently. I hope that this will help you.

Let me be clear here: I'm looking to put you in a trance and do some hypnosis on you now. If you don't want that, skip to the next message.

*WAIT*

Were you about to skip to the next message?

Then: GOOD.

That means you just said, "I don't want to be hypnotized".

Do you see what I did? Ok, here it is again:

I gave you notice that I was going to hypnotize you, and told you what to do to not be hypnotized. And you could choose that.

What happens when this lady comes up to you next time? Lets say you can tell when she is trying to do something that would put you in trance. You can say "No". Just like you did there.

You can choose to not be in trance.

So lets start with the second part. The "Here's what you do if you want to avoid trance". This lady presumably will want to touch you, will say things to confuse you, will give your brain a "What's going on???" spike, and then rely on physical, sensual touch to keep your brain in overload.

So lets look at interrupting that.

You can push her arm away, and say "no".
You can recognize confusion, and say to yourself, "She is not trusted".
You can *practice* in your mind what she might do so that you do not have the confusion when it happens (NB: this is a two-sided sword -- it solves one problem but opens another, see below).
And you can, now that you have been through "overload" and know what it feels like, recognize it and tell yourself "The next time this happens, I will say
'no' and walk away".

That "practice" that I mentioned before? It's simple imagination. Imagine what she might do, and how you would react.
The "good" of this: It removes the confusion by teaching your brain what to expect next.
The "bad" of this: It teaches your brain what to expect next.
To make this work, and work *for* you, and not against you, your imagination has to include 1, she touches you, 2, you recognize that the touch has a sensation, and 3, you respond with no.

She touches you -- that's an external that you have no control over.
The touch has a sensation -- Drop it from a sense of sensuality triggering your pleasure center, to a plain dull fact of your body. Remove the pleasure center activity in response to the touch. "Depleasure" the experience.

When you can imagine the touch happening without any pleasure associated with it, that's the point of success.

So that's what to do to avoid being tranced/deepened. Now, lets look at recognizing the induction in the first place, so you can see "Hey, this is what I don't want".

In some sense, this is a big question. There are many ways to do conversational hypnosis. We haven't seen anything that indicates (yet) that this person is maliciously and knowingly trying to hypnotize you. They could just have a fetish, they could have a crush for some reason, etc; they might have just learned that behavior like this just works because most people don't have any idea how to respond.

So one option is just "I'm sorry, I don't want to talk to you" every time they try to come up to you. Just refuse to listen to them. Carry out your life normally, just exclude them from it.

That's the simplest way.

Another way? Well, anything else means that you'll have to listen to them, and talk to them. But you have to remember that you don't trust them. Maybe this is something you can't really do.

I'm looking over your posts. Please tell me if anything here is wrong. Please do not just assume that what I am saying here is fact. What I am saying here is observation. This is accurate observation, but it is up to you to tell if it is fact or not.

IMPORTANT: Do not lie to yourself here. You might see things here that are true that you do not want to acknowledge. If you want to prevent someone from hypnotizing you like that, you need to be able to recognize truth as opposed to a lie you want to believe.

Here are my observations. Again, tell me if I'm wrong. Or, tell me if what I'm saying is both true and something you don't want to be true. Or, tell me if it's true and you are OK with it.

1. You are constantly talking about your body and your boobs/chest. The impression I get is that your self-image is significantly defined by your body shape.

2. You made it clear that you regarded any touch as a sexual advance. (NB: Note that when this lady touched you, your body wanted to both treat it as a sexual thing, and a "I'm not that type" non-sexual thing. I think this is the source of the confusion factor in your brain -- it was coming to both opposing conclusions at the same time, and you had nothing to resolve that confusion with.)

Initially, I think this is what you need to change -- regard touch as not inherently sexual in nature.

3. You talk about her body shape, and her actions as a groper, as if this is all that defines her.

4. You are constantly talking about, and paying attention to, her controlling you. What you pay attention to will persist; as long as you are constantly focusing on being controlled, that's what's expected. You have to move past the thoughts of being controlled.

[quote]When I go out in public guys start talking to me and subtly try to ask me out. I have trouble being mean so i cant get them to leave me alone. I end up getting stressed by it. [/quote]

So don't be mean, just say "No". "I'm not interested". "Sorry, I'm married". "Can you make a friend before you make a pass?". "I don't know you, and my husband does not know you". "If you only see a body, you insult me and everything else about me". Etc. These are not mean (well, that last one maybe).

Then, we see you describing the other lady. Again, you are constantly referring to her body description. This gets back to "Self image is based on body shape".

Next message / your response:

Again, body shape, and reference to "groper". So let me ask you:

Who are you if you are not your body shape?

What are you if you are not your body shape? (NB: "what", not "who")

Who are you if you are not your husband's wife?

Who are you if you are not this person's target?

What are you if you are not being touched?

What are you if you are not afraid of touch?

When you can get an answer for who you are that has nothing to do with body, sensuality, touch, etc, then you have something to rely on, to fall back to, to avoid confusion brain lock.

[quote]It's just the fact that she took control of me, she did whatever she wanted to me . She just took what she wanted.[/quote]

Yes. And?

She did what she wanted. You were in a state of confusion, and did not know what next.

Now you can say "Next time this happens, this is what happens next". Focus on what touch *newly* means to you, if it does not mean sex; what and who you are after understanding what you are not. You have to make these choices.

[quote]... because she is a small older woman she thinks i will let her get away with it, and i did. I strongly suspect that i am targeted by this woman, maybe she is seething with envy of me and my life, and she wants to publicly dominate me.[/quote]

Never ascribe to malice what can be explained by ... Well, just about anything else.

She thinks you will let her? You did let her. That does not mean you need to let her next time. The future is not defined by past actions, but by choices made reviewing past actions.

[quote] I am avoiding her. But she works at the bookstore next door. ... I don’t want to go to my own store because of this weird touchy feely woman.[/quote]

Avoidance is probably not the answer, just because you cannot get 100% success here. As you said, she's the next door business. So relying on abstinence is no more successful here than for teenagers. Confront and deal with the situation.

[quote]I like to think I'd do something more assertive if it happened again but realistically this small pale hands on woman probably will get away with touching me and groping me. [/quote]
"No." "Please stop touching me", and push her arm with your arm (NB: Don't grab with your hand. There are too many ways for someone with basic martial arts/self defense training to basically control where your arm goes once your hand grabs them like that. Aim to use your wrist to push away.)
And "If you do not stop, I will call the police". And follow up. Make that call. Recognize that they won't come immediately, and might not come for two or three calls. But you can ask to make a statement over the phone, and it may take time, it will happen.
The good news: Your brain will not be in confusion, and you won't go in trance like that.

When she tries this, you will tell her no, and prepare to call the police, as often as it takes until something happens.

---

[quote] I do feel a little sorry for her. But why? I am big woman. I am 5 ft 11 and being well endowed well built and curvy always on high heels makes me HUGE! But I love my height and my curvy stature.[/quote]
This is why. You value X, you have X, she does not, so she is not valued.[/quote]
I can't call the police because i don't want my husband to know about this situation. I can’t talk to my husband about this situation with this short skinny old pale groper because he is extremely jealous and possessive.He is going to blame me. My husband is extremely jealous of any kind of attention I get. Please note I am not trying to sound conceited at all, but my looks and body shape get me quite a lot of attention from men. It's been that way since I started developing as a young teenager. I don't give in to these remarks or anything, but it still bothers him to no end. He'll get really clingy and start grabbing all up on me I guess to make it known we're together, which that can get frustrating sometimes. It'll bug him to death if I go out without him dressed up,texting and calling me about what I'm doing and who I'm with. This is very tiring. I don't like being told what to do or wear as I'm not a child. The irony is that all this time my husband is been afraid of men – when really, it was a short, skinny older women he should have feared. My husband doesn't want me around other guys, so all of my employees are women.

[louisa]

[quote="grover27"]I see you are concerned about your sexuality here. I can assure you that this incident does not make you homosexual. Far from it. Just like a guy wanting to be pegged by a woman doesn't make him homosexual. You are only homosexual if you have an attraction to the same sex and not the opposite sex. That is clearly not the case with you. Even if you were bisexual, you have not discovered that side of yourself and you certainly aren't going to discover it in the hands of this woman. This woman is purely a weird predator who molested you. What she did is against the law. It's an interesting question regarding whether she used covert hypnotism on purpose against you or if her actions just had the same effect, but regardless, she molested you.

Now, if you are still struggling with this, perhaps what you are struggling with is a new found pleasure of being submissive. You've said nothing about your sex life but if you have always felt that because you are an Amazon woman that you are expected to be more dominant, then perhaps you for the first time have been taken back by the pleasures of submission. If that is the case, then there are much safer ways to discover submission. Play with some of the hypno tracks on this site for example, or let your husband know that you want him to be more dominant and you want to role play as sexually submissive. I for one strive to be an alpha male in my daily life but I again and again fall into the need to experience the pleasure of being submissive. They have a term "subspace" which means you go into a trance like state when you truly submit. It's freeing and peaceful and pleasurable, and perhaps that is what you experienced. That said, if my wife ever said she wanted me to submit to me and experience pure dominance, I would be all over that in a heartbeat too.

Regardless, explore it with someone you trust and tell this unwelcomed molester to fuck off.[/quote]
Actually, I am not dominant in my marriage. My husband is extremely jealous. I don't have any male friends now, because of his jealousy. I used to feel guilty when having male friends, because he'd make me feel guilty. He never said "You can't be friends with them", but his constant questions ruined these friendships ("So you probably secretly dream about Mike", "Maybe you'd been at Mike's place last night?", "Why are you hanging out with Mike so much?" (when hanging out like once in two weeks)). I'm not allowed to have any guy friends. My husband doesn't allow me to talk to other guys but he talk to other women.

He knows my FB password.

He logs into my FB profile. I let him read my messages - the deal is not to enter conversations with my friends .

He reads my phone messages. He just takes it in front of me 'because he is bored', scrolls through my galleries, plays some mobile games, and ends up reading my messages "because he is bored". His argument is 'So you have something to hide?' if I ask him why he's doing it.

The sex part is the worst. He always tries his best to make me orgasm, but sometimes I just don't orgasm (it depends on my mood), and he makes a big deal about it, and thinks I may be cheating/thinking of someone else/etc.

If I want to go out with my friends, he gets upset. His argument is "But I never go Friday nights with my friends, why are you going with your friends? You aren't even going with your friends. You are probably going with some guy. You used to not go out before. What has changed? Do you not love me anymore? Is there someone else now?"

He isn't really the manipulatuve/abusive type. He always gives me compliments, supports me through everything, listens to me, etc. He is a super fun person and I am never bored when with him. He doesn't have anger issues.

I love him, but I don't know how to deal with his jealousy. I love the man, A LOT. With all my heart.


I love him , but his jealousy is ruining our marriage. He has no justification for his jealousy. His imagination is what gets him in trouble. I have an overwhelming amount of attention from men. As long as I remember….I've attracted men like crazy. Usually, it's always lust is why they are so drawn to me. But it’d never ever cross my mind of cheating. That drove my husband nuts as he seen how men acted around me. I don’t intend to dress in any particular ‘way’ for anyone. I just wear what I like. I wear clothes that fit me properly. Most of my outfit are pant and skirt suits, satin coats and satin and silk blouses. I am always on high heels and full make up on. If you are curvy, tall and busty, many clothes tend to look sexier on you than on a thin person. So things that fit properly that are relatively conservative can be suddenly too revealing and sexy when you put it on. This happens to me a lot. I wear almost always my blouses fully buttoned to the top combined with a pencil skirt or satin pants. I don’t wear anything vulgar but because of my body type anything i wear looks tight on me. Being tall and curvy draws attention on its own. This can be both positive and negative. My husband doesn't want me around other guys, so all of my employees are women. My husband has extreme self-esteem issues.

[grover27]

I agree that keybounce had a really good response and I enjoyed reading it. This is a man that has a really good understanding of hypnosis.

As for your husband, I am really sorry to hear this. You certainly deserve to have a man that trusts you and is confident in himself such that he is not intimidated by other men. The irony is that type of behavior is exactly what will eventually drive you away - not the attention of other men. I don't have any good advice for you about him because that is something that he needs to figure out himself. I know many guys can be like this and it's really a shame that their own self-esteem and jealousy issues can hurt a marriage so much. You should be able to dress as you wish and go out as you wish and trust in him to be able to reveal what happened to you without fear of repercussion. I hope that he can figure his shit out sometime soon for your sake.

As a side note, I appreciate the fact that you have posted pictures of yourself on here, as it is always nice to have visuals and you are certainly a beautiful woman with a beautiful body - as you of course already know.

[louisa]

[quote="grover27"]I agree that keybounce had a really good response and I enjoyed reading it. This is a man that has a really good understanding of hypnosis.

As for your husband, I am really sorry to hear this. You certainly deserve to have a man that trusts you and is confident in himself such that he is not intimidated by other men. The irony is that type of behavior is exactly what will eventually drive you away - not the attention of other men. I don't have any good advice for you about him because that is something that he needs to figure out himself. I know many guys can be like this and it's really a shame that their own self-esteem and jealousy issues can hurt a marriage so much. You should be able to dress as you wish and go out as you wish and trust in him to be able to reveal what happened to you without fear of repercussion. I hope that he can figure his shit out sometime soon for your sake.

As a side note, I appreciate the fact that you have posted pictures of yourself on here, as it is always nice to have visuals and you are certainly a beautiful woman with a beautiful body - as you of course already know.[/quote]
Thank you again for your support. I posted pictures of me, because I wanted to be honest and open on this forum.

[keybounce]

Hoo boy. This is a biggie.

[quote] I don't like being told what to do or wear as I'm not a child.[/quote]

...

[quote]He isn't really the manipulatuve/abusive type[/quote]

...


[quote] I'm not allowed to have any guy friends. My husband doesn't allow me to talk to other guys but he talk to other women.[/quote]

[quote]If I want to go out with my friends, he gets upset. His argument is "But I never go Friday nights with my friends, why are you going with your friends? You aren't even going with your friends. You are probably going with some guy. You used to not go out before. What has changed? Do you not love me anymore? Is there someone else now?"

He isn't really the manipulatuve[/quote]

[quote]his jealousy is ruining our marriage.[/quote]

I am out of my knowledge here, so I will say this: GET MARRIAGE COUNSELING!

From my experience with friends who had relationships like this: it is abusive. These sorts of "I will control you" along with this "But I don't like it" is a powderkeg waiting to explode.

It would be one thing if you liked/enjoyed letting him drive your life. That's fine, more of a classic dom/sub relationship.

But this?

You don't have to answer this question at all. You may ignore this.
[i]what do you love about him?[/i]

Now, getting back to the situation at work:

[quote] I am so confused about what happened to me! Whether or not it is my fault or not! I feel so ashamed. I'm just lost. Should I even be upset? I was SO embarrassed. It was very frustrating. I don’t think I can discuss this verbally with anyone. I can't even talk to my husband about this. I feel embarrassed and ashamed of myself. I'm confused and my mind doesn't stop.[/quote]

First, this confusion is going to keep giving her inroads into trancing you. If you cannot discuss it with your husband, you need to discuss it with someone else. You might need to go to a trained therapist next.

There is one serious problem in your relationship that I see showing up here.
[quote]I'm not allowed to have any guy friends.[/quote]

So the only friends you can have are female, and this female is acting friendly to you.

Does that sum it up?

Are you confused because someone is trying to be "friendly", that "friendly" comes with a sense of "What was that?", and you just don't know how to deal with simultaneously friend and not-friend? Combined with a lack of friends otherwise?

[quote]If I want to go out with my friends, he gets upset.[/quote]
And here's someone that can be a friend that he won't find out about? Not on your phone, not on your facebook, the first case of someone he won't know about?

There is a TON going on here. I am way out of my knowledge zone, so: When in doubt, refer out. Get help from someone trained with this, and that's not me.

What I see: Your husband is being massively controlling and restrictive of you. You don't like that. You don't have friends, are not allowed to have friends, and suddenly you can't fit this new person into the very few tiny boxes you are allowed to have.

And that seems to be the cause of the confusion.

Get Help.

[louisa]

[quote="keybounce"]Hoo boy. This is a biggie.

[quote] I don't like being told what to do or wear as I'm not a child.[/quote]

...

[quote]He isn't really the manipulatuve/abusive type[/quote]

...


[quote] I'm not allowed to have any guy friends. My husband doesn't allow me to talk to other guys but he talk to other women.[/quote]

[quote]If I want to go out with my friends, he gets upset. His argument is "But I never go Friday nights with my friends, why are you going with your friends? You aren't even going with your friends. You are probably going with some guy. You used to not go out before. What has changed? Do you not love me anymore? Is there someone else now?"

He isn't really the manipulatuve[/quote]

[quote]his jealousy is ruining our marriage.[/quote]

I am out of my knowledge here, so I will say this: GET MARRIAGE COUNSELING!

From my experience with friends who had relationships like this: it is abusive. These sorts of "I will control you" along with this "But I don't like it" is a powderkeg waiting to explode.

It would be one thing if you liked/enjoyed letting him drive your life. That's fine, more of a classic dom/sub relationship.

But this?

You don't have to answer this question at all. You may ignore this.
[i]what do you love about him?[/i]

Now, getting back to the situation at work:

[quote] I am so confused about what happened to me! Whether or not it is my fault or not! I feel so ashamed. I'm just lost. Should I even be upset? I was SO embarrassed. It was very frustrating. I don’t think I can discuss this verbally with anyone. I can't even talk to my husband about this. I feel embarrassed and ashamed of myself. I'm confused and my mind doesn't stop.[/quote]

First, this confusion is going to keep giving her inroads into trancing you. If you cannot discuss it with your husband, you need to discuss it with someone else. You might need to go to a trained therapist next.

There is one serious problem in your relationship that I see showing up here.
[quote]I'm not allowed to have any guy friends.[/quote]

So the only friends you can have are female, and this female is acting friendly to you.

Does that sum it up?

Are you confused because someone is trying to be "friendly", that "friendly" comes with a sense of "What was that?", and you just don't know how to deal with simultaneously friend and not-friend? Combined with a lack of friends otherwise?

[quote]If I want to go out with my friends, he gets upset.[/quote]
And here's someone that can be a friend that he won't find out about? Not on your phone, not on your facebook, the first case of someone he won't know about?

There is a TON going on here. I am way out of my knowledge zone, so: When in doubt, refer out. Get help from someone trained with this, and that's not me.

What I see: Your husband is being massively controlling and restrictive of you. You don't like that. You don't have friends, are not allowed to have friends, and suddenly you can't fit this new person into the very few tiny boxes you are allowed to have.

And that seems to be the cause of the confusion.

Get Help.[/quote]
I’m a complete failure. I followed your advice, but it was a disaster. Yesterday i was standing in the middle of my store. I was wearing a red long sleeve satin blouse buttoned up to the top tucked into black satin pencil skirt, sheer lace hold up nylon stockings and 5 inch heels red shoes. I had full make up on. This small pale creepy older groper woman walked into my store. I decided to ignore her, so i turned my back on her. She said hi to my employees ,started kinda circling the store, but she stopped behind me. I jumped a little as i felt her hands slide around my hips from behind.

"I just finished my shift at the bookstore. Wow Louisa you are such a big woman. Standing next to you i look like a midget. The size difference between us is beyond comical. You are such a massive woman " she said as her hands rubbed my stomach.

I gasped as her hands slid up and cupped my breasts. I was about to protest when this small pale woman commented that my blouse is too small. I winced as she gave my breasts a squeeze. She commented it was around my breasts that the blouse was the tightest.

"What is this? I feel something hard under your massive tits. Is It some kind of wire?" she asked me "You are so polished and shiny in this flashy satin clothes on your high heels. Your blouse is so tucked into your skirt. " Her small hands massaged my boobs eagerly as she spoke. "

"That is a part of my brassiere. I always prefer my blouses to be tucked in. It makes the look neater" i replied.



I stood their for an awkward moment as this small pale weirdo woman felt me up, her small hands running all over my breasts

"Okay that is enough," i said at last, reaching up and prying her hands off my bust.

This small pale woman seemed a little disappointed as she moved out from behind me .



Her creepy gaze rolled over my chest.
"Louisa your massive heavy breasts must be giving a tough task to your blouse to hold on to it.This blouse you are wearing is so tight fitting that stretches taut across your chest, it is buttoned up to the top but the buttons are almost threatening to pop free."" she pointed out, stepping right in front of me.



She reached up and ran her fingertips over the upper half of my breasts, her fingers brushing the buttons of my blouse

"these buttons are going to pop free."she said as her finger traced the button stand of my blouse. I shyly wrapped my right arm across my chest, so she stopped touching the buttons of my blouse.

"Wait a moment, " the small pale woman said , once again stepped forward. "Let me check something."

I just stood there in bewilderment as she pulled my arm away from my breasts. She reached out with her both hands and cupped and squeezed my breasts.

"Is this really necessary?" I asked as she squeezed my boobs , giving them a good feel.

" People call me ugly alot of the times, and also make jokes about my looks. Ever since i was 13 people always call me names. I think I'm ugly and you can tell me I'm beautiful but I won't believe it. There are so many odds against me but it doesn't change dealing with the feelings. And that's my problem. I'm so firm in my views and I don't know what to do. Since childhood I have suffered taunts about being ugly,short and masculine. I suffered the worst bullying in high school, It was torture. I am just admiring you Louisa. You are everything that i am not" this small pale woman explained as she fondled my breasts. I frowned at this, her explanation momentarily confusing me. In the meantime, the small pale clerk didn't hesitate to continue her groping, mauling my breasts through my blouse and bra.

"I m very fond of my personal space. Stop." I protested at last

"Oh," replied the small pale clerk in disappointment. She gave my breasts once last brief squeeze and then dropped her hands away. Then she smacked my ass with her right hand. Only it wasn't just a smack, it was like a smack-grab. I jumped in shock. I walked over to my employees and started talking to them about work stuff. This weirdo small pale woman followed me. Her both hands landed on my ass. This time it wasn't a smack, it was just a long, firm squeeze. I had a long conversation with my employees, the whole time this weirdo was squeezing my ass with her both hands . I finished talking with my employees, but she kept rubbing and squeezing my ass with her both hands. So i just stood there like paralyzed, while she was rubbing my ass. Then two customers entered the store and she finally removed her hands from my ass.

I was flustered and confused, i needed some fresh air, so I walked to the coat hanger, i put my long black fur coat over my shoulders and i walked outside. This weirdo small woman followed me. She just placed her both hands on my collar bones and started rubbing up and down my upper breasts n the most awkward way( her face was exactly the level of my breasts). She said to me "You are not arrogant Louisa. You are letting me to touch you. You are a good woman. I am just fascinated with you. I am just showing appreciation for your height, elegance and clothes. Just let me. You are much taller and bigger than me. You are everything that i am not. You are a massive woman. You are a sophisticated, elegant, upper middle class, tall woman. I am just fascinated. I am broke. I am 57 year old and I have always been poor. I don't want to die poor. I am practically homeless. Four months ago I had to move in my cousin's garage. " Then she continued talking about her bad luck in life.

The whole time while we were talking she was patting my upper breasts with her both hands. We had the most awkward conversation, like really weird, long pauses.

Then this weird small pale woman just lowered her both hands and started fully rubbing my breasts for a solid 5 minutes. I backed up and looked at her and she just kept rubbing. So fucking weird. She was patting and rubbing my breasts for like 5 minutes. She kept rubbing and feeling up my breasts while she was talking about her alcoholic father and her poverty which I didn't knew how to take. She just kept rubbing up and down my breasts with her both hands while she was explaining stuff to me.
It was just awkward. I was just standing there stiff as a board while she was feeling up my boobs . Also my coat was over my shoulders(balancing a coat on your shoulders isn’t easy. Your shoulders must remain lifted, keeping the luxe fabric from slipping off and down your back.) I was just standing there kind of awkwardly letting it happen. People have seen it happen. It was not particularly crowded on the street, probably about 10 people in sight, but I caught a few stares. I was humiliated by her. I was just standing there tall, still and silent in front of my store, letting it happen. Then she said "I am hungry. I really need to eat, i gotta go" and finally stopped rubbing my breasts and walked away. I went back inside my store. .

These women my employees were weirded out by our behaviour, but they ignored that and said/did nothing as if nothing was happening.I think that they were in shock themselves? Some people don’t like to get involved if they feel uncomfortable or not sure what is going on. These women my employees were pretending that is not happening with confused looks on their faces. Also it was bizarre. Standing next to me this touchy feely pale old woman looked like a midget and I was letting her get by with it. My employees probably thought that I am okay with it. .

I am much taller and bigger than her, i could have overpowered her. It was very bizarre and uncomfortable. I've never had a man treat me that way. If this were a guy I know the drill, I know how to react to that. Apparently I don't have the same confidence in confronting this short skinny weird pale old woman.

Again I just shut up and dealt with how uncomfortable I felt and let her get away with it. I have reason to believe she has somehow placed me under a form of hypnosis.

I'm just frustrated that I didn't do anything. I'm embarrassed , and I feel like I'm being a big baby about it. I feel hopeless and i am now not sure what to do at this particular point. I am not sure what I should do. Why do i let this weird woman walk all over me? I feel like i let her walk all over me again. I just am so humiliated and embarrassed. I’m just so disappointed in myself. I’m so disappointed in myself and not only do I feel like a failure.

[keybounce]

First: I see two different things going on here.

I'm going to repeat some questions I asked the last time, rephrased, because I'm not sure you quite followed what I said.

First, repeat: Get Marriage Counseling.

Second: I only have a small look at your life. I only have the little bit you've stated here. This might be wrong. This might be in error.

With that said, it sounds like you are saying that your husband does not let you have friends that he does not know of, and can basically monitor any conversation you have with friends, and you have indicated that you might not be OK with that.

Are you OK with that?

Here, you have someone that wants to be friendly with you, without your husband knowing about it.

Does the idea of having a friend that your husband does not know about appeal to you?

If it does, do you want this woman to be a friend?

This is a serious question. What you do next depends on whether or not you want her to be a friend.

One option is to take action to keep her out of your life.
One option is to take action to have her in your life as a friend who does not manipulate/hypnotize you.

But you have to decide which of those two paths to take.

I will not give you advice until I know which path you advise on.

EDIT: Ok, advice disguised as questions:

1. What do you want, _now_?
2. Who are you when you are not your husband's wife? Who are _you_? Now, today?
3. Who/what really matters to you?
4. What are the _current_ goals in your life? What do you want your _next/new_ goals in your life to be, if your _current_ ones do not match what matters to you?
5. Once you know what you want your new goals to be, what really matters _according to your new goals_?
6. Once you know what really matters, what's next? What do you want to do _new/different_?

What do you want?
What really mattered yesterday?
What really will matter tomorrow?
What will do you to change?

What path do you want?

[keybounce]

I am triple posting because this is that important. Please actually read that message, and answer those questions to yourself (you do not have to post the answers), before you go on to the my next message.

I am unlikely to get back here again before Tuesday night. So if this happens again before Tuesday, I want you to have a little more in your toolbox.

Again, please answer those questions, at least to your own satisfaction.

(Moderators, please forgive this triple post. I am doing this out of a desire to serve someone that is having an issue.)

[keybounce]

Your intention when interacting with her must include that she is not permitted, not allowed, to touch you.

Your intention must include that you are in charge, that she must listen to you when you say "No. Stop. Leave".

Your intention must include being able to say, "Leave my store."

And you must have permission to say "Do not come back."
Give yourself permission to say, "Stop. Leave my store. Do not come back. You are not welcome. You are prohibited."


[quote="louisa"]
I followed your advice, but it was a disaster. Yesterday i was standing in the middle of my store. ... woman walked into my store. I decided to ignore her, so i turned my back on her.[/quote]

Ignoring her is not the goal. Keeping her from doing this to you is.

Say, "I want you to leave my body alone. Do not touch me". No "please". Nothing implying requesting or anything about her having choice.

Imagine her showing up. Visualize it. Use a repeat of yesterday, or imagine it new. Now, imagine as she walks towards you, see yourself telling her, "I want you to leave my body alone. Do not touch me."

If you want her out of your life entirely, say something stronger. Make it up, and say it with intent. Your intent is 100% critical here.

[quote]
She said hi to my employees ,started kinda circling the store, but she stopped behind me. I jumped a little as i felt her hands slide around my hips from behind.

<5 sentences, including some flattery> she said as her hands rubbed my stomach.

I gasped as her hands slid up and cupped my breasts. I was about to protest when this small pale woman commented that my blouse is too small. I winced as she gave my breasts a squeeze. She commented it was around my breasts that the blouse was the tightest. [/quote]

First, you were startled at her touch, and she was talking. She got 5 sentences in, gave you some flattery, while touching/startling you, and then moved up -- triggering a body shock.

This sounds like another PGO-spike type of effect.

As you were about to say something, she interrupts you with another sentence, this time -- you've mentioned that you value your large chest, and she is giving you a compliment. Followed by yet another body shock. Then another compliment.

---

Say, "I have told you to not touch me". Not "I have asked you". "I have told you". Make it clear that she does not have permission.

Make sure that *YOU KNOW THAT SHE DOES NOT HAVE PERMISSION*.

Again, visualize: Either imagine a repeat of this scene, or a new scene, and see yourself *INTERRUPT HER*, telling her that she does not have permission, that you *have told her this is not allowed*.

Again, See Your Intention. No matter what happens, this behavior of hers is not acceptable, not allowed.

Do not let her interrupt you.
You are in charge.
Tell her that this is not allowed.

[quote]<more compliments and touch>

"That is a part of my brassiere. I always prefer my blouses to be tucked in. It makes the look neater" i replied.[/quote]

I want you to think back to this moment.
I want you to step back, in your mind, from the scene.
I want you to imagine that you are watching this play out. That it is not "you, looking at her doing this", but that you are a third party, looking at those two people over there interacting.

Can you visualize that for me? Can you see those two ladies over there, one making statements and asking a question, and the second lady just responding factually?

I want you to imagine that second lady responding with the word "Stop", and using her arms to stop the smaller lady.

Imagine the more powerful, taller lady bringing her hands together underneath the arms of the smaller, submissive lady's arms, raising her hands/arms up between the arms of the smaller lady, and then lifting them up and off, forcing them apart, using the wrists of the dominant lady against the arms of the smaller one.

Can you see that? Good.
Again, regardless of what else happens, know that your intent is to separate that smaller, submissive lady from the dominant, taller one.

[quote]"Okay that is enough," i said at last, reaching up and prying her hands off my bust.[/quote]
* GOOD *.

This is you throwing off her induction. Good.

[quote]This small pale woman seemed a little disappointed as she moved out from behind me .

Her creepy gaze rolled over my chest.
<3 more sentences complementing your large chest>
"the buttons are almost threatening to pop free."" she pointed out, stepping right in front of me.

<More touch, going to the buttons of your blouse>[/quote]
This is another attempt at induction.

[quote]"these buttons are going to pop free."she said as her finger traced the button stand of my blouse. I shyly wrapped my right arm across my chest, so she stopped touching the buttons of my blouse. [/quote]

First, good -- she is attempting induction, and you respond with a physical barrier. She has to stop. This is good. This is what you should do.

[quote]"Wait a moment, " the small pale woman said , once again stepped forward. "Let me check something."

I just stood there in bewilderment as she pulled my arm away from my breasts. She reached out with her both hands and cupped and squeezed my breasts. [/quote]

At this point, I think she has you in trance. She's managed to accumulate confusion enough that your resistance has dropped. Notice your next statement:

[quote]"Is this really necessary?" I asked as she squeezed my boobs , giving them a good feel. [/quote]

I see two things here. One, you are no longer saying "stop", no longer using a physical barrier. Second, this is the first time you described it as "a good feel". Even the statement/question, "Is this really necessary", is less an objection, and more acceptance.

So making sure that she does not do this to you anymore has to deal with what has already happened.

I want you to realize: You are doing much better this time. You have told her off, at least a little. Next time, your goal, your intention is to prevent her from speaking and touching you.

[quote]<more communication, and evidence of confusion>

"I m very fond of my personal space. Stop." I protested at last
[/quote]
Again, good.

You are showing that you *can* throw off an unwanted induction. It's not easy, but you can do it.

You *can* throw off an unwanted induction.
Know that it is unwanted.
Know that your intention is to own yourself.
Know what matters to you.

What happens next ... Well, you have another physical shock/surprise, and then you go off to deal with your employees, while she is still doing physical touch.

What happens next ... Well, you are focused on a conversation, while your body is getting an unexpected stimulus. The conversation ends, and you are still getting the stimulus; you are in confusion, and when she stops, all you can do is get out, attempt to remove yourself from that situation, and basically try for a moment of clarify. She follows you, and does more.

The state of trance is basically a state of focused attention, with the key being a change in that focus. And at this point, that's happened.

She is using a combination of touch and conversation. At this point, not only are you in trance, but I'd bet it wasn't even a light trance, and she is only continuing to deepen that trance. We need to focus on stopping this much, much earlier.

[quote]... I jumped in shock. ... but she kept rubbing and squeezing my ass with her both hands. So i just stood there like paralyzed, ... she finally removed her hands from my ass. ... I was flustered and confused, i needed some fresh air, ... small woman followed me ... started rubbing up and down ...
"You are not arrogant Louisa.

--> You are letting me to touch you. <--

You are a good woman.

-- snip --
Just let me.
-- snip --
[/quote]
I counted about a dozen "positive" statements intended to appeal to you, with those two statements, one at the start, one in the middle.

This is plainly a deepening with two suggestions to permit her.

You are already in trance and being hypnotized. So we need to act earlier to stop this.

[quote]Also my coat was over my shoulders(balancing a coat on your shoulders isn’t easy. Your shoulders must remain lifted, keeping the luxe fabric from slipping off and down your back.) [/quote]
Something that I learned a while back is that hypnotizing someone that is physical needs a different technique than someone that is visual. Your statement here makes it seem like you have some (significant?) physical awareness of your body, and how you use it. I'm wondering if this is part of what is happening here -- she is using physical action on you, and as you move, she moves with you.

In fact, reviewing this whole thread, it does look like you are at least somewhat physical, at least somewhat not purely visual.

Reviewing the first post:
[quote]"...it is buttoned up to the top but the buttons are almost threatening to pop free. " The small pale bookstore clerk said with a great enthusiasm. .[/quote]
So the same "buttons coming off" was there the first time, along with your comment of emotion. Recall how you felt that time. Recognize it, and see yourself responding to that feeling with "Stop. You are not permitted." Realize that when she has that enthusiasm, you respond by saying, "You are not permitted. Stop now.".

[louisa]

[quote="keybounce"]Your intention when interacting with her must include that she is not permitted, not allowed, to touch you.

Your intention must include that you are in charge, that she must listen to you when you say "No. Stop. Leave".

Your intention must include being able to say, "Leave my store."

And you must have permission to say "Do not come back."
Give yourself permission to say, "Stop. Leave my store. Do not come back. You are not welcome. You are prohibited."


[quote="louisa"]
I followed your advice, but it was a disaster. Yesterday i was standing in the middle of my store. ... woman walked into my store. I decided to ignore her, so i turned my back on her.[/quote]

Ignoring her is not the goal. Keeping her from doing this to you is.

Say, "I want you to leave my body alone. Do not touch me". No "please". Nothing implying requesting or anything about her having choice.

Imagine her showing up. Visualize it. Use a repeat of yesterday, or imagine it new. Now, imagine as she walks towards you, see yourself telling her, "I want you to leave my body alone. Do not touch me."

If you want her out of your life entirely, say something stronger. Make it up, and say it with intent. Your intent is 100% critical here.

[quote]
She said hi to my employees ,started kinda circling the store, but she stopped behind me. I jumped a little as i felt her hands slide around my hips from behind.

<5 sentences, including some flattery> she said as her hands rubbed my stomach.

I gasped as her hands slid up and cupped my breasts. I was about to protest when this small pale woman commented that my blouse is too small. I winced as she gave my breasts a squeeze. She commented it was around my breasts that the blouse was the tightest. [/quote]

First, you were startled at her touch, and she was talking. She got 5 sentences in, gave you some flattery, while touching/startling you, and then moved up -- triggering a body shock.

This sounds like another PGO-spike type of effect.

As you were about to say something, she interrupts you with another sentence, this time -- you've mentioned that you value your large chest, and she is giving you a compliment. Followed by yet another body shock. Then another compliment.

---

Say, "I have told you to not touch me". Not "I have asked you". "I have told you". Make it clear that she does not have permission.

Make sure that *YOU KNOW THAT SHE DOES NOT HAVE PERMISSION*.

Again, visualize: Either imagine a repeat of this scene, or a new scene, and see yourself *INTERRUPT HER*, telling her that she does not have permission, that you *have told her this is not allowed*.

Again, See Your Intention. No matter what happens, this behavior of hers is not acceptable, not allowed.

Do not let her interrupt you.
You are in charge.
Tell her that this is not allowed.

[quote]<more compliments and touch>

"That is a part of my brassiere. I always prefer my blouses to be tucked in. It makes the look neater" i replied.[/quote]

I want you to think back to this moment.
I want you to step back, in your mind, from the scene.
I want you to imagine that you are watching this play out. That it is not "you, looking at her doing this", but that you are a third party, looking at those two people over there interacting.

Can you visualize that for me? Can you see those two ladies over there, one making statements and asking a question, and the second lady just responding factually?

I want you to imagine that second lady responding with the word "Stop", and using her arms to stop the smaller lady.

Imagine the more powerful, taller lady bringing her hands together underneath the arms of the smaller, submissive lady's arms, raising her hands/arms up between the arms of the smaller lady, and then lifting them up and off, forcing them apart, using the wrists of the dominant lady against the arms of the smaller one.

Can you see that? Good.
Again, regardless of what else happens, know that your intent is to separate that smaller, submissive lady from the dominant, taller one.

[quote]"Okay that is enough," i said at last, reaching up and prying her hands off my bust.[/quote]
* GOOD *.

This is you throwing off her induction. Good.

[quote]This small pale woman seemed a little disappointed as she moved out from behind me .

Her creepy gaze rolled over my chest.
<3 more sentences complementing your large chest>
"the buttons are almost threatening to pop free."" she pointed out, stepping right in front of me.

<More touch, going to the buttons of your blouse>[/quote]
This is another attempt at induction.

[quote]"these buttons are going to pop free."she said as her finger traced the button stand of my blouse. I shyly wrapped my right arm across my chest, so she stopped touching the buttons of my blouse. [/quote]

First, good -- she is attempting induction, and you respond with a physical barrier. She has to stop. This is good. This is what you should do.

[quote]"Wait a moment, " the small pale woman said , once again stepped forward. "Let me check something."

I just stood there in bewilderment as she pulled my arm away from my breasts. She reached out with her both hands and cupped and squeezed my breasts. [/quote]

At this point, I think she has you in trance. She's managed to accumulate confusion enough that your resistance has dropped. Notice your next statement:

[quote]"Is this really necessary?" I asked as she squeezed my boobs , giving them a good feel. [/quote]

I see two things here. One, you are no longer saying "stop", no longer using a physical barrier. Second, this is the first time you described it as "a good feel". Even the statement/question, "Is this really necessary", is less an objection, and more acceptance.

So making sure that she does not do this to you anymore has to deal with what has already happened.

I want you to realize: You are doing much better this time. You have told her off, at least a little. Next time, your goal, your intention is to prevent her from speaking and touching you.

[quote]<more communication, and evidence of confusion>

"I m very fond of my personal space. Stop." I protested at last
[/quote]
Again, good.

You are showing that you *can* throw off an unwanted induction. It's not easy, but you can do it.

You *can* throw off an unwanted induction.
Know that it is unwanted.
Know that your intention is to own yourself.
Know what matters to you.

What happens next ... Well, you have another physical shock/surprise, and then you go off to deal with your employees, while she is still doing physical touch.

What happens next ... Well, you are focused on a conversation, while your body is getting an unexpected stimulus. The conversation ends, and you are still getting the stimulus; you are in confusion, and when she stops, all you can do is get out, attempt to remove yourself from that situation, and basically try for a moment of clarify. She follows you, and does more.

The state of trance is basically a state of focused attention, with the key being a change in that focus. And at this point, that's happened.

She is using a combination of touch and conversation. At this point, not only are you in trance, but I'd bet it wasn't even a light trance, and she is only continuing to deepen that trance. We need to focus on stopping this much, much earlier.

[quote]... I jumped in shock. ... but she kept rubbing and squeezing my ass with her both hands. So i just stood there like paralyzed, ... she finally removed her hands from my ass. ... I was flustered and confused, i needed some fresh air, ... small woman followed me ... started rubbing up and down ...
"You are not arrogant Louisa.

--> You are letting me to touch you. <--

You are a good woman.

-- snip --
Just let me.
-- snip --
[/quote]
I counted about a dozen "positive" statements intended to appeal to you, with those two statements, one at the start, one in the middle.

This is plainly a deepening with two suggestions to permit her.

You are already in trance and being hypnotized. So we need to act earlier to stop this.

[quote]Also my coat was over my shoulders(balancing a coat on your shoulders isn’t easy. Your shoulders must remain lifted, keeping the luxe fabric from slipping off and down your back.) [/quote]
Something that I learned a while back is that hypnotizing someone that is physical needs a different technique than someone that is visual. Your statement here makes it seem like you have some (significant?) physical awareness of your body, and how you use it. I'm wondering if this is part of what is happening here -- she is using physical action on you, and as you move, she moves with you.

In fact, reviewing this whole thread, it does look like you are at least somewhat physical, at least somewhat not purely visual.

Reviewing the first post:
[quote]"...it is buttoned up to the top but the buttons are almost threatening to pop free. " The small pale bookstore clerk said with a great enthusiasm. .[/quote]
So the same "buttons coming off" was there the first time, along with your comment of emotion. Recall how you felt that time. Recognize it, and see yourself responding to that feeling with "Stop. You are not permitted." Realize that when she has that enthusiasm, you respond by saying, "You are not permitted. Stop now.".[/quote]
Thank you. I am really grateful. I just feel like such a failure. I just feel hopeless. Why do I let this woman walk all over me? This has been eating at me. I feel like a failure. This weirdo woman probably feels like its now "ok" to do because her behavior has been "allowed" by me on two occasions without repercussion. Again I was very confused about the situation. It is just a really new and surprising experience that I've never personally dealt with before. It’s just really awkward and it is not a situation where it is clear what to do. This weird small pale woman is a serial groper, but i don't want to report her to the police because of my husband. I just don't want to involve my husband in this. I just can't talk to my husband about this. I just can't.

[louisa]

[quote="keybounce"]First: I see two different things going on here.

I'm going to repeat some questions I asked the last time, rephrased, because I'm not sure you quite followed what I said.

First, repeat: Get Marriage Counseling.

Second: I only have a small look at your life. I only have the little bit you've stated here. This might be wrong. This might be in error.

With that said, it sounds like you are saying that your husband does not let you have friends that he does not know of, and can basically monitor any conversation you have with friends, and you have indicated that you might not be OK with that.

Are you OK with that?

Here, you have someone that wants to be friendly with you, without your husband knowing about it.

Does the idea of having a friend that your husband does not know about appeal to you?

If it does, do you want this woman to be a friend?

This is a serious question. What you do next depends on whether or not you want her to be a friend.

One option is to take action to keep her out of your life.
One option is to take action to have her in your life as a friend who does not manipulate/hypnotize you.

But you have to decide which of those two paths to take.

I will not give you advice until I know which path you advise on.

EDIT: Ok, advice disguised as questions:

1. What do you want, _now_?
2. Who are you when you are not your husband's wife? Who are _you_? Now, today?
3. Who/what really matters to you?
4. What are the _current_ goals in your life? What do you want your _next/new_ goals in your life to be, if your _current_ ones do not match what matters to you?
5. Once you know what you want your new goals to be, what really matters _according to your new goals_?
6. Once you know what really matters, what's next? What do you want to do _new/different_?

What do you want?
What really mattered yesterday?
What really will matter tomorrow?
What will do you to change?

What path do you want?[/quote]
I've been married to my husband for 19 years, so I've gotten used to his habits overtime, but I feel like every year they get progressively worse. He always says I need to have more respect for his feelings. Does not like when I go out with friends. I feel like I can't do much without being monitored and that sucks! He had a vasectomy after our child even though I wanted one more. He said he would rather divorce than have more.

The good:

Yet, although he only says I love you every two weeks or so, he is attentive, very affectionate, makes dinner and gives me expensive gifts. He really makes a point of saying I'm his forever, and know he is committed but his actions, like what I mentioned above make me wonder how much he really cares about me.

[keybounce]

[quote="louisa"]
Thank you. I am really grateful. I just feel like such a failure. I just feel hopeless. Why do I let this woman walk all over me? This has been eating at me. I feel like a failure. This weirdo woman probably feels like its now "ok" to do because her behavior has been "allowed" by me on two occasions without repercussion. Again I was very confused about the situation. It is just a really new and surprising experience that I've never personally dealt with before. It’s just really awkward and it is not a situation where it is clear what to do. This weird small pale woman is a serial groper, but i don't want to report her to the police because of my husband. I just don't want to involve my husband in this. I just can't talk to my husband about this. I just can't.[/quote]

I don't think it's a case of "allowing", so much as being surprised. And yes, she will feel it's "ok" unless you do something.

What follows is my advice. It may be wrong, but it's the best advice I can give.

So don't involve your husband. Talk to your employees.

Talk to them about this. Tell them that she isn't allowed to do this.

** Do not wander outside the next time she does this **.
Use your employees as your support group.

If you wander outside, again, with no one else around to help you? She'll do this again.
If you stay inside? And you've made it clear to your employees that (A) She is not allowed to do this, and (B) You want them to speak up to support you when she tries it again?

Having a support group that is there to remind you of what is/is not appropriate when she tries will keep you out of trance / out of her "grope".

Having others to tell her "Stop", will help.

This will help prevent the confusion / uncertainty that she is using to put you under.

But you need to trust, and open up to, your employees.

[grover27]

I agree with keybounce. Don't let some misapplied embarrassment or shame get in the way of you opening up to your employees about this. Think of a child who gets molested by an adult and thinks it's her fault and doesn't tell anyone. Is it her fault? Should she tell someone? When she does, does anyone judge the child or do they help the child? Open up, don't be ashamed as it's not your fault, tell your employees you don't know how to handle this woman - THEY WILL UNDERSTAND. It's your most effective tool at your disposal for this problem.

[louisa]

[quote="keybounce"][quote="louisa"]
Thank you. I am really grateful. I just feel like such a failure. I just feel hopeless. Why do I let this woman walk all over me? This has been eating at me. I feel like a failure. This weirdo woman probably feels like its now "ok" to do because her behavior has been "allowed" by me on two occasions without repercussion. Again I was very confused about the situation. It is just a really new and surprising experience that I've never personally dealt with before. It’s just really awkward and it is not a situation where it is clear what to do. This weird small pale woman is a serial groper, but i don't want to report her to the police because of my husband. I just don't want to involve my husband in this. I just can't talk to my husband about this. I just can't.[/quote]

I don't think it's a case of "allowing", so much as being surprised. And yes, she will feel it's "ok" unless you do something.

What follows is my advice. It may be wrong, but it's the best advice I can give.

So don't involve your husband. Talk to your employees.

Talk to them about this. Tell them that she isn't allowed to do this.

** Do not wander outside the next time she does this **.
Use your employees as your support group.

If you wander outside, again, with no one else around to help you? She'll do this again.
If you stay inside? And you've made it clear to your employees that (A) She is not allowed to do this, and (B) You want them to speak up to support you when she tries it again?

Having a support group that is there to remind you of what is/is not appropriate when she tries will keep you out of trance / out of her "grope".

Having others to tell her "Stop", will help.

This will help prevent the confusion / uncertainty that she is using to put you under.

But you need to trust, and open up to, your employees.[/quote]
Thank you for your support. You really understand the complexity of my situation. These women my employees probably find this bizarre, but because i am their boss, they don't question it. To be honest my employees don't like me. It's more to do with body language and the tone of voice than anything else, these women my employees haven't actually said anything nasty to my face, but probably are thinking it. I get the feeling that they hate me or at least disapprove of me. They probably think I am arrogant or a snob. Although I'd prefer that they think I'm arrogant to thinking that I'm afraid. I've been asked soooo many times 'why are you so serious' when I'm not feeling serious at that moment. I unintentionally tend to give off an unfriendly aura which has led people to ask if I dislike them. When I feel nervous I try to compensate by being really confident. I guess other people take that as me being arrogant. I've been told I come across as stuck up/snobby full of myself, narcissistic, stuck up etc., and also very unwelcoming to new people. Technically the second part is true as new people terrify me, but the first bit is very untrue.And the truth is, i just can't talk to everyone... not that i don't want to. I just need time to open myself to people. To relax and open up. I feel much better when I dress up and present myself as the best I can be.Dressing up makes me feel good because it makes me feel like i can do anything.

[louisa]

[quote="keybounce"][quote="louisa"]
Thank you. I am really grateful. I just feel like such a failure. I just feel hopeless. Why do I let this woman walk all over me? This has been eating at me. I feel like a failure. This weirdo woman probably feels like its now "ok" to do because her behavior has been "allowed" by me on two occasions without repercussion. Again I was very confused about the situation. It is just a really new and surprising experience that I've never personally dealt with before. It’s just really awkward and it is not a situation where it is clear what to do. This weird small pale woman is a serial groper, but i don't want to report her to the police because of my husband. I just don't want to involve my husband in this. I just can't talk to my husband about this. I just can't.[/quote]

I don't think it's a case of "allowing", so much as being surprised. And yes, she will feel it's "ok" unless you do something.

What follows is my advice. It may be wrong, but it's the best advice I can give.

So don't involve your husband. Talk to your employees.

Talk to them about this. Tell them that she isn't allowed to do this.

** Do not wander outside the next time she does this **.
Use your employees as your support group.

If you wander outside, again, with no one else around to help you? She'll do this again.
If you stay inside? And you've made it clear to your employees that (A) She is not allowed to do this, and (B) You want them to speak up to support you when she tries it again?

Having a support group that is there to remind you of what is/is not appropriate when she tries will keep you out of trance / out of her "grope".

Having others to tell her "Stop", will help.

This will help prevent the confusion / uncertainty that she is using to put you under.

But you need to trust, and open up to, your employees.[/quote]
But i will follow your advice. I will try to talk to my employees about this whole situation.

[louisa]

[quote="grover27"]I agree with keybounce. Don't let some misapplied embarrassment or shame get in the way of you opening up to your employees about this. Think of a child who gets molested by an adult and thinks it's her fault and doesn't tell anyone. Is it her fault? Should she tell someone? When she does, does anyone judge the child or do they help the child? Open up, don't be ashamed as it's not your fault, tell your employees you don't know how to handle this woman - THEY WILL UNDERSTAND. It's your most effective tool at your disposal for this problem.[/quote]
I will try to talk to my employees, but I suspect my employees hate me

[keybounce]

[quote="louisa"]... To be honest my employees don't like me. It's more to do with body language and the tone of voice than anything else, these women my employees haven't actually said anything nasty to my face, but probably are thinking it. I get the feeling that they hate me or at least disapprove of me. They probably think I am arrogant or a snob. Although I'd prefer that they think I'm arrogant to thinking that I'm afraid. I've been asked soooo many times 'why are you so serious' when I'm not feeling serious at that moment. ...[/quote]

So first, let me restate some of your words:

1a. To be honest, I don't think my employees like me.
1b. To be honest, I don't know if my employees like me.

(One of those is accurate. You tell me which?)

2. I think they hate me or at least disapprove of me, but I'm not willing to double check because _____. Fill in the blank.

3. They clearly do not understand/"get" me, because they don't know my serious/non-serious sides.

What I see here is very simple: You are interacting with them, and assigning views/beliefs to them, and then assuming that what you assigned to them is the truth. And, you even pointed out that they don't get you accurately. Hmm. So it looks like there is no actual communication either way, just "That person's body language is different than mine, so they must be thinking _____".

Solution, to both this mis-communication problem, and to the "How do I use my employees as a support group": *Open up*.

Talk to them. Really, open up, share what you really feel, and take them as friends.

This is NOT without problems. Working with friends has it's own issues. Working with non-friend strangers has issues that you are currently dealing with. Somewhere in the middle (I have never found it myself, but people tell me it exists) is a middle ground where you have some friendship, but still maintain a business relationship. Aim for that. Err on the side of "too friendly" at least for now because you need a support group.

Now, lets look at what you said. I think this is telling.

[quote]
To be honest my employees don't like me.
It's more to do with body language and the tone of voice than anything else
I get the feeling that they hate me or at least disapprove of me.
They probably think I am arrogant or a snob.
(try to be really confident.) I guess other people take that as me being arrogant.
I've been told I come across as stuck up/snobby full of myself, narcissistic, stuck up etc.,
* but the first bit is very untrue. *
[/quote]
Group 1 -- most of this is observations about your impressions of others. They think. I get the feeling. I believe they don't. This is your beliefs.

Note the last bit in here: You have been told X, ** and you discount it**.

You are giving off "stuck up / snobby / full of myself, etc". People have apparently told you this.

*Change*. Talk to people that you want to care about you.

[quote]
I unintentionally tend to give off an unfriendly aura which has led people to ask if I dislike them.
When I feel nervous I try to compensate by being really confident.
(I've been told I come across as) very unwelcoming to new people.
[/quote]
This group is you actually looking at yourself. This is good.

[quote]
And the truth is, i just can't talk to everyone... not that i don't want to.
I just need time to open myself to people. To relax and open up.
I feel much better when I dress up and present myself as the best I can be.Dressing up makes me feel good because it makes me feel like i can do anything.
[/quote]
So ... Oh boy.
You want to talk to others, you want to open up to others. And, you feel that you need time.
Suddenly, here comes a lady that ignores all your body language, treats you like you are already a friend, uses hypnotic techniques to relax you, and is constantly flattering your looks / dressup / telling you that you are presenting yourself as best you can.

She has managed to find and press all your buttons at the same time that she is giving you a brain overload.

---

I don't know the answer here. I think that it's something along the lines of saying that you want to open up to your employees, that you want to dress up for them. So find out. Do they like dressing up? Do you want to have a dress-up party for them?

I actually went over the whole thread. I did not see anything you said about what you sell in your store. Do you, by chance, run a clothing store?

Is your store something where you could have a dress-up party?

Lastly: This line. I kept coming back to this line:
[quote]Although I'd prefer that they think I'm arrogant to thinking that I'm afraid.[/quote]

This ... You have to change this.

1. It has to be ok to let those you trust know you are afraid.
2. You have to be willing to trust those you want as your support group.
3. You need your employees as a support group.

I see no way around this. Allow them to know you are afraid, that you are not arrogant, that you need help.

This is on you. And as much as hypnosis can help (it sounds like an almost textbook hypnotherapy situation), I'm not going to recommend hypnosis because your problem is being caused by that.

But I do think that maybe this is the time to talk to a traditional therapist if you can't do it on your own.

[louisa]

[quote="keybounce"][quote="louisa"]... To be honest my employees don't like me. It's more to do with body language and the tone of voice than anything else, these women my employees haven't actually said anything nasty to my face, but probably are thinking it. I get the feeling that they hate me or at least disapprove of me. They probably think I am arrogant or a snob. Although I'd prefer that they think I'm arrogant to thinking that I'm afraid. I've been asked soooo many times 'why are you so serious' when I'm not feeling serious at that moment. ...[/quote]

So first, let me restate some of your words:

1a. To be honest, I don't think my employees like me.
1b. To be honest, I don't know if my employees like me.

(One of those is accurate. You tell me which?)

2. I think they hate me or at least disapprove of me, but I'm not willing to double check because _____. Fill in the blank.

3. They clearly do not understand/"get" me, because they don't know my serious/non-serious sides.

What I see here is very simple: You are interacting with them, and assigning views/beliefs to them, and then assuming that what you assigned to them is the truth. And, you even pointed out that they don't get you accurately. Hmm. So it looks like there is no actual communication either way, just "That person's body language is different than mine, so they must be thinking _____".

Solution, to both this mis-communication problem, and to the "How do I use my employees as a support group": *Open up*.

Talk to them. Really, open up, share what you really feel, and take them as friends.

This is NOT without problems. Working with friends has it's own issues. Working with non-friend strangers has issues that you are currently dealing with. Somewhere in the middle (I have never found it myself, but people tell me it exists) is a middle ground where you have some friendship, but still maintain a business relationship. Aim for that. Err on the side of "too friendly" at least for now because you need a support group.

Now, lets look at what you said. I think this is telling.

[quote]
To be honest my employees don't like me.
It's more to do with body language and the tone of voice than anything else
I get the feeling that they hate me or at least disapprove of me.
They probably think I am arrogant or a snob.
(try to be really confident.) I guess other people take that as me being arrogant.
I've been told I come across as stuck up/snobby full of myself, narcissistic, stuck up etc.,
* but the first bit is very untrue. *
[/quote]
Group 1 -- most of this is observations about your impressions of others. They think. I get the feeling. I believe they don't. This is your beliefs.

Note the last bit in here: You have been told X, ** and you discount it**.

You are giving off "stuck up / snobby / full of myself, etc". People have apparently told you this.

*Change*. Talk to people that you want to care about you.

[quote]
I unintentionally tend to give off an unfriendly aura which has led people to ask if I dislike them.
When I feel nervous I try to compensate by being really confident.
(I've been told I come across as) very unwelcoming to new people.
[/quote]
This group is you actually looking at yourself. This is good.

[quote]
And the truth is, i just can't talk to everyone... not that i don't want to.
I just need time to open myself to people. To relax and open up.
I feel much better when I dress up and present myself as the best I can be.Dressing up makes me feel good because it makes me feel like i can do anything.
[/quote]
So ... Oh boy.
You want to talk to others, you want to open up to others. And, you feel that you need time.
Suddenly, here comes a lady that ignores all your body language, treats you like you are already a friend, uses hypnotic techniques to relax you, and is constantly flattering your looks / dressup / telling you that you are presenting yourself as best you can.

She has managed to find and press all your buttons at the same time that she is giving you a brain overload.

---

I don't know the answer here. I think that it's something along the lines of saying that you want to open up to your employees, that you want to dress up for them. So find out. Do they like dressing up? Do you want to have a dress-up party for them?

I actually went over the whole thread. I did not see anything you said about what you sell in your store. Do you, by chance, run a clothing store?

Is your store something where you could have a dress-up party?

Lastly: This line. I kept coming back to this line:
[quote]Although I'd prefer that they think I'm arrogant to thinking that I'm afraid.[/quote]

This ... You have to change this.

1. It has to be ok to let those you trust know you are afraid.
2. You have to be willing to trust those you want as your support group.
3. You need your employees as a support group.

I see no way around this. Allow them to know you are afraid, that you are not arrogant, that you need help.

This is on you. And as much as hypnosis can help (it sounds like an almost textbook hypnotherapy situation), I'm not going to recommend hypnosis because your problem is being caused by that.

But I do think that maybe this is the time to talk to a traditional therapist if you can't do it on your own.[/quote]
I run a wine store. Please don't judge me.PLEASE. I'm so disappointed with myself, i decided to avoid this small pale groper woman. She is always first shift, 08.00 am to 16.00, so i go to my own store after 16.00. I talked with one my employee, but she wasn't supportive. She just laughed and said that groping between women isn't a big deal at all. My own employee thinks that I should be okay with groping by this pale woman. She said that I make stupid faces while this woman groper is groping me and rubbing me. She also said that it is hilarious and bizarre that standing next to this pale groper I look like a giant and I let her get by with it. She said that this predatory woman groper is physically completely harmless. I can see why she thinks that. This pale groper is not tough and strong. She doesn't look intimidating. She is creepy and masculine but she is just a short, skinny, tiny older woman. I am physically stronger than this woman. Personally i think that if i were with my employees and a man did that to me and i reacted the same, they'd get all up in arms.

I just feel like such a failure.
My employee even accused me of being homophobic. She feels sorry for this pale groper midget. She told me that she had long conversations with her. She says that this groper woman had a hard life. My employee says that this groper woman is probably asexual and that she is drawn to me because i am tall, curvy and always dressed up to the max.She says that I am considered by this small pale woman to be extremely fashionable, elegant, glamorous, and classy and she is just showing appreciation for my clothes, curves and my height.

[grover27]

Louisa,
That is a really weird response from your employee. I assume she is young and slightly free-spirited to have said that. Regardless, she is wrong and you are right in your feelings. You are being molested by this woman and if you don't like it, then it's not right and she needs to stop. It's not harmless and it makes no difference if she is an older small lady or a younger large man. It's another person who is molesting you without your consent. She is objectifying you and while that may be good and fun when a person wants it, it is no good when a person does not want it, like you do not. She is taking advantage of you. I just want you to know that so that you don't start to rationalize that this is okay. I'm glad you talked to someone about it, but sorry that the person you spoke to was not the best set of ears. Keybounce's advice is all very good and I can't give you anymore advice other than to tell you to read it again and take it to heart.

[louisa]

[quote="grover27"]Louisa,
That is a really weird response from your employee. I assume she is young and slightly free-spirited to have said that. Regardless, she is wrong and you are right in your feelings. You are being molested by this woman and if you don't like it, then it's not right and she needs to stop. It's not harmless and it makes no difference if she is an older small lady or a younger large man. It's another person who is molesting you without your consent. She is objectifying you and while that may be good and fun when a person wants it, it is no good when a person does not want it, like you do not. She is taking advantage of you. I just want you to know that so that you don't start to rationalize that this is okay. I'm glad you talked to someone about it, but sorry that the person you spoke to was not the best set of ears. Keybounce's advice is all very good and I can't give you anymore advice other than to tell you to read it again and take it to heart.[/quote]
Thank you for your support. Actually my employee is not that young. She is a 38 year old divorced woman. She has two kids. But she is definitely free-spirited. She considers herself "woke".

[louisa]

[quote="grover27"]Louisa,
That is a really weird response from your employee. I assume she is young and slightly free-spirited to have said that. Regardless, she is wrong and you are right in your feelings. You are being molested by this woman and if you don't like it, then it's not right and she needs to stop. It's not harmless and it makes no difference if she is an older small lady or a younger large man. It's another person who is molesting you without your consent. She is objectifying you and while that may be good and fun when a person wants it, it is no good when a person does not want it, like you do not. She is taking advantage of you. I just want you to know that so that you don't start to rationalize that this is okay. I'm glad you talked to someone about it, but sorry that the person you spoke to was not the best set of ears. Keybounce's advice is all very good and I can't give you anymore advice other than to tell you to read it again and take it to heart.[/quote]
I've always had big boobs. I easily had the largest chest in my high school. But I was one of the lucky ones that's never had her boobs grabbed, touched, or jiggled before(probably because of my size and bitch face). My lack of familiarity with this type of situation was not just limited to being groped either, as so far i had no involvement with lesbians at all. I am a straight woman. I think most women gropers don't see what they're doing in those situations as harassment or sexual assault. This might be part of it, but I think another aspect (at least in terms of taking sexual harassment seriously) is based on the archaic ideas that women are not capable of violence, don't seek out sex, and so on. I feel this is why women are not treated as offenders as readily as men. When women complain about other women sexually harassing them, it is seen as laughable, so i guess most women learn to just ignore it or brush it off if they don’t like it.


The catch here and what makes women on women groping different than its harmless: I never once fear for my safety. I imagine other women feel the same and that’s why it’s not viewed as much of a problem compared to women being assaulted/groped by men. My employee even jokes that this pale small woman is not physically threatening to me at all, and the chances that she can actually harm me are virtually nil. She thinks that i am over overexaggerating. The reality we are in an era where women are getting just as aggressive if not more than men. They see it as not as harmful because they are the same sex.
I don't know. anything that's harassment when a man does it is still harassment when a woman does it. That doesn't change just because it's coming from a different source.
In my experience this masculine weird short pale older woman can be especially aggressive. I think that our culture kind of gives her a pass, since homosexuality between women isn't nearly as taboo and a lot of women can get away with being pretty handsy with each other.

[grover27]

You make a lot of good points. There is a lot out there if you look for it with stories of men who have been raped by women and emotionally scarred by it where everyone laughed at them, or told them they were lucky, etc. I'm sure some gay men are even gay as a result of being raped or molested by a woman. It's a shitty double standard. What if this woman was a man but was first a woman who transitioned to a man? Would that make this wrong then? What if it was a man who was a trans woman? Is that better or worst? Your "woke" friend needs to wake up. I love that you called her woke because I can picture her now. She is wrong. 9 out of 10 people would agree with that I'm sure. If she is saying that then she probably thinks you are getting what you deserve. You clearly are a woman blessed with amazing curves and unfortunately there are a lot of pieces of shit out that can't handle being envious. This employee is not a friend. I have known women like you and have had women friends like you and I agree that you are misunderstood. It sucks. Maybe you care to work on some of it or maybe you don't, but think about your actions and consequences in terms of being aloof. Nothing wrong with being aloof, as long as you own the bad that may come from it. Anyway, you definitely have some issues with your husband and your employees that you should consider dealing with. However, you need to get this crazy woman out of your space first. I think the best thing to do is be very firm with her and keep saying no and walk away. GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME! isn't necessarily the wrong thing to yell at her if she doesn't get the hint when you start off more polite.

[keybounce]

I am almost out of advice to give at this point. I am sad to hear that one of your employees just wants to dismiss the whole thing, and not take your concerns seriously. Please, talk to your other employees. You need some sort of support group.

That you are avoiding your own store is a serious sign of a problem.

Talk to a traditional therapist.
Do something about your relationship with your husband.
Get someone that you can talk to.

[b]Own your life.[/b]

I have no more advice to give. I do want to hear what happens next. Please, feel free to "vent" here if you need to get something off your chest, or if you need to ask for advice on "what next". (I'll probably just be repeating what I've said so far, but I'll try to present it differently -- maybe a different presentation will be the right one?).

You are not a failure. You are in a situation that you have not experienced before, or trained for. You don't know what to do.

All of that is fine.

You came here for advice, got some, and your second encounter was much better.

Good. You are improving.

The standard "plan for/ improve the future" training that I know of is, "Imagine X, imagine what you would do, see it working the way you want".

Give this a try.

The more detail you can put into your imagination -- and I mean *ALL* of the detail -- the better. See/imagine how you feel; how your body feels. Feel your reactions. ETc.

OWN THEM.

Make them what you want them to be.

Try a multi-pass imagination "stage play". The first pass, you are only doing scripting. No details. Very "light-weight". On pass two, you put in more details, and make sure that things are playing out the way you want. Re-write the script as often as you need until you like what happens.

Then play it out twice more, adding in more detail each time. Remember the script. It is YOUR script. You rehearsed it, and it is what you want.

Put in as much detail as you can on the "final" pass. Then decide if you can do one more pass, with more details in your imagination.

This is a self hypnosis technique. When you replay this "Stage play", where you are looking at "That you over there, on stage", like you are the director of the play, watching some copy of you act out what you want to be, that is hypnosis.

Know that you wrote the script.
Know that it will play out how you want it to play out.
Know that you are rehearsing what might happen in real life.

Know that you will "win", however "winning" looks to you.

[grover27]

Any updates to your situation Louisa?

[louisa]

[quote="grover27"]Any updates to your situation Louisa?[/quote]
I am actively avoiding this small groper pale woman. She is always first shift, 08.00 am to 16.00, so i go to my own store after 16.00. But I am feeling particularly shitty all the time. I know these thoughts are completely irrational, it’s still what goes through my head and it kills me inside. This constant feeling of thinking I'm passive and weak. I blame myself for being passive and surrendering my body to this small weird woman on those two occasions. That's very hard to shake. This creepy woman ruined my self esteem. She destroyed any sense of self-worth I had.I feel like crap.In the past two weeks there has been a massive decrease of the time i am spending in my own store because of this pale groper woman. She is definitely something of a sociopath. The signs are there. She has targeted me for really covertly bullying. This creepy woman ruined my self esteem. She has hypnotic hold over me. Even if this pale weird touchy feely woman is just accidental, benevolent, ignorant sociopath, she is still a threat to me. I read that the best way to deal with sociopaths is to avoid them, ignore them and not react to their games. Also don't let them know that you think they are a sociopath. So i will continue to avoid this groper woman. On those two occasions she got her hands on me. But she works at the bookstore next door to my wine store. So i must avoid her. Sociopathy is difficult to spot. Sociopaths don't go around breaking the law, murdering and raping. They don't walk around with a label on their forehead.

[grover27]

I hate this for you Louisa. I'm sorry that this woman has managed to so negatively affect you. I would love to see you figure out this problem and take control of the situation. What if you pulled out your camera phone and recorded her whenever she comes near and when she asks you what you are doing, you say recording this for evidence. That may make her go away. Just trying to think outside the box.

[keybounce]

Bump

Please give us a status update? What has been happening?

[louisa]

[quote="keybounce"]Bump

Please give us a status update? What has been happening?[/quote]
So far i am successfully avoiding this small groper pale woman. She is always first shift, 08.00 am to 16.00, so i go to my own store after 16.00. But I am still feeling particularly shitty all the time. I still feel like crap. In the past four months there has been a massive decrease of the time i am spending in my own store because of this pale groper woman. It makes me feel so disappointed in myself. I know it must sound stupid, but I just can't be myself, and confident in front of this pale small groper woman. I am the epitome of failure.


So i will continue to avoid this groper woman.

[louisa]

[quote="keybounce"]Bump

Please give us a status update? What has been happening?[/quote]
I got groped again. By a different woman. What is wrong with me? Yesterday i attended this women in wine backyard party. I was wearing a pink long sleeve satin blouse buttoned up to the top tucked into tight pink satin pants and 5 inch see through shoes. I had full make up on.

When I pulled into the parking lot, I was a little surprised at how many cars were there. I guess people are tired of social distancing and lockdowns.

When I entered I was greeted by the host. I noticed there were quite a few women mingling and chatting with eachother. I few looked up at me and gave me a little smile. I saw this woman my employee there, so i walked over to her and we started chatting. Then this really ugly, short like 5ft3/5ft2, skinny, kinda masculine, long horse's faced, big mouth, thin lips, outstanding and uneven teeth, greasy brownish hair woman in her early 50s walked over to me. My employee introduced her to me.

Then this small weirdo horse faced woman reached up and placed her both hands on my upper breasts (her face was exactly the level of my breasts) . I froze like a weirdo and attempted to crack a joke. She just rested her hands on my upper breasts and continued chatting with me and my employee. I was so shocked. I just stood there awkwardly. This weirdo small horse faced woman asked a bunch of nosy questions too. She just kept her hands on my upper breasts!!! For the whole conversation!!! I froze again. I just couldn't move back. I couldn't escape. It was so awkward and wrong! Finally she said that she needs to pee, she removed her hands from my upper breasts and walked inside to the restroom. About 10 minutes later, this small horse faced woman rubbed my breasts again with her right hand as she was walking by me . She didn't even say a word or make eye contact or anything. About 15 minutes later i was standing in front of these two older women (they were sitting on the sofa) and complaining to them about the whole lockdown nightmare. The small horse faced woman walked over to me and she reached up and placed her right hand on my left breast and joined the conversation. So I had this weirdo horse faced woman not only touch my breast but she then kept her hand there!!! For the whole conversation!!! I couldn't move back because there was the sofa with the two older women behind me, so I couldn't escape. It was so awkward and wrong!


About 10 minutes later i was standing and chatting with the host, this small horse faced woman walked up from behind and caressed my ass with her right hand 2-3 times very lightly. When she saw no adverse reaction from me she got emboldened and placed herself right behind me, just an inch away, she got the liberty to do more and more, and now was literally rubbing my ass with her both hands. I was finding it strange that i wasn't opposing this small horse faced predatory woman in any manner
Finally i backed up a little to walk away and bumped right into this weirdo woman.

Then i started walking, but this short skinny old horse faced woman followed me, chatting with me. She rubbed her hands on my ass feeling it, even touching the side of my boobs making it look like accidental. Then i went to the restroom. About 10 minutes later this small weirdo horse faced woman as she walked pass me she looked up and went “ooooohhhh! Louisa!”


And preceded to literally rub my breasts with her both hands as she and I walked pass each other. It was all I could do to giggle nervously.


About 5 minutes later this weirdo small horse faced woman walked up to me, reached up and started rubbing my breasts with her both hands. At this point i realized that I should have told her right away because now that she's done it so much it seems awkward to tell her to stop. She was rubbing my breasts and I was literally backing away and she just kept following me and kept rubbing my breasts across the distance of about 4 feet. Haha.....

I was flustered and confused, i decided to leave, so i walked outside. I got into my car and i left. This creepy short skinny old horse faced groper literally chased me out of the party. Today I talked with my "woke" employee about the horse faced woman situation, but she wasn't supportive. This groper is her best friend's cousin. Again she just laughed and said that groping between women isn't a big deal at all. Her exact words were "If you are 100% straight, why don't you let these women to touch you? Think about it. Louisa you are a big elegant upper middle class woman, 5ft11 tall on those 5inch shoes and curvy. Everything about you is big – your breasts, your butt, your thighs, your shoulders. These short skinny poor women are just fascinated with you. Just let them. They are not physically threatening to you at all, and the chances that they could actually harm you are virtually nil. Please take this as constructive suggestion." My own employee thinks that I should be okay with groping by these small weird older women.

Whats going on? This a second woman who groped me. Am i becoming a lesbian magnet? Short , old, creepy, masculine lesbian women gravitate toward me like fruit flies on a banana. I don't know why older short lesbians always think they can grab my boobs or rub my ass and invade my personal space like that. My employee thinks that because i am always dressed up in shiny satin and silk clothes always on high heels tall and curvy i am radiant and touchoable to them .

I'm just frustrated that I didn't do anything again. I'm embarrassed , and I feel like I'm being a big baby about it. Why do i let these small weird women walk all over me? I just am so humiliated and embarrassed. I’m just so disappointed in myself. I’m so disappointed in myself and not only do I feel like a failure. So far i am successfully avoiding the small groper pale woman. She is always first shift, 08.00 am to 16.00, so i go to my own store after 16.00. But I am still feeling particularly shitty all the time. I still feel like crap. In the past four months there has been a massive decrease of the time i am spending in my own store because of this pale groper woman. Now i got groped by another weird small woman. What is wrong with me?

[grover27]

Louisa,

I don't know if the "why is this happening" to you is so important but I would imagine your co-worker is right about why it is happening. That doesn't make it right and she is wrong. What if you were a magnet for a short weak men? Would that be okay, or is that somehow more wrong? Ignore her nonsense. The question of "why are you letting this happen" may be more relevant but perhaps it doesn't matter so much. You thought the first woman was hypnotizing you somehow. Which is why you came to WMM. Perhaps she isn't hypnotizing you. Although, on WMM there is a lot of hypnosis and attraction toward obedience, compliance and submission. These women are clearly predators that are testing your compliance. They touch you to see what you do. If you say "Ummm, Excuse Me! What are you doing?!" they would probably stop and say something like "Oh, I'm so sorry. You are just so beautiful. I couldn't help myself." At which time, you have to say "well, don't do it again. I generally don't like being molested." That would end it. If they try again, which they likely won't, you can then walk away. If they follow you, you say "No" or "Get away." That would be a normal reaction, even if it seems aggressive. However, you are tested and you acquiesce and comply. Boom. You are now claimed territory to these predator women who feel like you are giving them a free pass - maybe even welcoming it. Perhaps they see you as a sexual creature that invites all forms of fondling and pleasure. Who knows.

So how do you fix it. You need to practice and train. Out loud. In a mirror. Several times a day (in private). imagine the situation has occurred and then walk through the situation: "Ummm, Excuse Me! What are you doing?!" Imagine they say something like "Oh, I'm so sorry. You are just so beautiful. I couldn't help myself." At which time, you say "well, don't do it again. I generally don't like being molested." Practice it several times a day for a week. Then go to work early in the morning and be armed and ready to take on your original groper. You can do this!!

[louisa]

[quote="grover27"]Louisa,

I don't know if the "why is this happening" to you is so important but I would imagine your co-worker is right about why it is happening. That doesn't make it right and she is wrong. What if you were a magnet for a short weak men? Would that be okay, or is that somehow more wrong? Ignore her nonsense. The question of "why are you letting this happen" may be more relevant but perhaps it doesn't matter so much. You thought the first woman was hypnotizing you somehow. Which is why you came to WMM. Perhaps she isn't hypnotizing you. Although, on WMM there is a lot of hypnosis and attraction toward obedience, compliance and submission. These women are clearly predators that are testing your compliance. They touch you to see what you do. If you say "Ummm, Excuse Me! What are you doing?!" they would probably stop and say something like "Oh, I'm so sorry. You are just so beautiful. I couldn't help myself." At which time, you have to say "well, don't do it again. I generally don't like being molested." That would end it. If they try again, which they likely won't, you can then walk away. If they follow you, you say "No" or "Get away." That would be a normal reaction, even if it seems aggressive. However, you are tested and you acquiesce and comply. Boom. You are now claimed territory to these predator women who feel like you are giving them a free pass - maybe even welcoming it. Perhaps they see you as a sexual creature that invites all forms of fondling and pleasure. Who knows.

So how do you fix it. You need to practice and train. Out loud. In a mirror. Several times a day (in private). imagine the situation has occurred and then walk through the situation: "Ummm, Excuse Me! What are you doing?!" Imagine they say something like "Oh, I'm so sorry. You are just so beautiful. I couldn't help myself." At which time, you say "well, don't do it again. I generally don't like being molested." Practice it several times a day for a week. Then go to work early in the morning and be armed and ready to take on your original groper. You can do this!![/quote]
Thanks for your response. You are right. I just can't say no, and at the same time, I am "too accommodating" to these creepy small older women. It is all my fault. The problem with this is it usually leaves me extremely irritable and stressed out, which given my pushover nature I tend to bottle it up. I talk only with you and keybounce about this situations here on this forum. I still think that this weirdo small pale woman my original groper was hypnotizing me somehow. Is it possible I am on the receiving end of some kind of a spell? I am wondering if she also cast some sort of curse on me or something? Is there any way to tell? I've always had big boobs. I easily had the largest chest in my high school. But I was one of the lucky ones that's never had her boobs or butt grabbed, touched, or jiggled before by men or women. Maybe because of my size and resting bitch face. My lack of familiarity with this type of situations was not just limited to being groped either, as so far i had no involvement with lesbians at all. This pale woman was the first person who groped me. Now random short skinny older creepy lesbians are approaching me and groping me! I don't get it though. I really don't think that I am sending out that vibe at all. I have a resting bitch face.

[grover27]

Louisa,
First, it's not all your fault. There is no fault here other than these women trying to molest you.
Second, I have no doubt that it would leave you extremely irritable and stressed out. That's why you need to take control over the situation and feel like you have taken back power.

I don't think it is possible that you are under some kind of a spell. I think there is purely a psychological reason for this. Your story reminds me of a time I was in a shopping mall and was stopped by a cart saleswoman. I didn't want what she was buying but she stopped me, complimented me and every time I tried to say no, she resold me. In the end, I ended up buying something I didn't want for more than it was worth. Many years later, I still get mad about that situation. This is really the same for you. You are getting stopped by women who are selling you something you don't want (to be groped). Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. You don't need to be fooled again, but as I said, you need to train and prepare yourself to take back control.

Your comment: "My lack of familiarity with this type of situations was not just limited to being groped either, as so far i had no involvement with lesbians at all." is telling. You were unfamiliar with this situation, which is why you didn't know how to handle it. However, you are now familiar with it and you do know how to handle it. I told you in my last post. Now you just need to prepare yourself.

I think the fact that this has happened to you twice is just a really strange coincidence and not a curse or a vibe you are giving off. But, again, you need to mentally prepare yourself for how to handle the same situation in the future - whether it happens with a woman or a man. You will always be a curvy attractive woman so the reality is that the odds of this happening to you versus someone else are just much higher. There is something appealing about curvy women. I love them too, but I have enough impulse control to not go and grope a random woman. These awkward women clearly don't have impulse control. You need to correct them - it's your body and your right to say who can and cannot touch you.

[louisa]

[quote="grover27"]Louisa,
First, it's not all your fault. There is no fault here other than these women trying to molest you.
Second, I have no doubt that it would leave you extremely irritable and stressed out. That's why you need to take control over the situation and feel like you have taken back power.

I don't think it is possible that you are under some kind of a spell. I think there is purely a psychological reason for this. Your story reminds me of a time I was in a shopping mall and was stopped by a cart saleswoman. I didn't want what she was buying but she stopped me, complimented me and every time I tried to say no, she resold me. In the end, I ended up buying something I didn't want for more than it was worth. Many years later, I still get mad about that situation. This is really the same for you. You are getting stopped by women who are selling you something you don't want (to be groped). Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. You don't need to be fooled again, but as I said, you need to train and prepare yourself to take back control.

Your comment: "My lack of familiarity with this type of situations was not just limited to being groped either, as so far i had no involvement with lesbians at all." is telling. You were unfamiliar with this situation, which is why you didn't know how to handle it. However, you are now familiar with it and you do know how to handle it. I told you in my last post. Now you just need to prepare yourself.

I think the fact that this has happened to you twice is just a really strange coincidence and not a curse or a vibe you are giving off. But, again, you need to mentally prepare yourself for how to handle the same situation in the future - whether it happens with a woman or a man. You will always be a curvy attractive woman so the reality is that the odds of this happening to you versus someone else are just much higher. There is something appealing about curvy women. I love them too, but I have enough impulse control to not go and grope a random woman. These awkward women clearly don't have impulse control. You need to correct them - it's your body and your right to say who can and cannot touch you.[/quote]
I'm so fucking thankful that this forum exists. I am so thankful for your support and advice Grover 27 given here. You understand my anxieties and worries and honestly you helped a lot of them go away.

You believe in me and you are always motivating me to do the best that I can in these fucked up situations with these gropers

[grover27]

I'm glad to hear that Louisa. Letting go of control and feeling submissive can be fun, but only when you want to. To have someone take advantage of you when you don't want it, is the worst feeling in the world. I don't want you feeling that way. I know you can take control of this situation, and yes I fully believe in you.

[louisa]

[quote="grover27"]I'm glad to hear that Louisa. Letting go of control and feeling submissive can be fun, but only when you want to. To have someone take advantage of you when you don't want it, is the worst feeling in the world. I don't want you feeling that way. I know you can take control of this situation, and yes I fully believe in you.[/quote]
I am still angry. It wasn't a coincidence. Yesterday I learned that this woman Grace my WOKE employee has been spreading false rumors or "facts" about me. I became a B&B co-owner about two months ago. This woman Megan needed money, so i literally invested in her B&B. We partnered up. We have only one employee. This 26 year old girl Lisa. She is the front of house, my partner Megan is the back of house. She does all the cooking (breakfast, dinner & dessert) and carrying while our employee primarily deals with guests. We also offer dinner and are pretty much open to most anything. Most B&B's are flexible like that. Megan is a 57 year old divorced woman. She has one son. Her son lives in another state with his wife and children. Megan lives in the B&B, downstairs away from the main rooms. She bought the B&B after her divorce 8 years ago. My partner Megan's first cousin this really short like 5ft3 skinny freckled face creepy green eyes thin lips red haired masculine woman in her early 50s Erin is a vending machine operator. She maintains vending machines at particular locations or on delivery routes. We have two vending machines, and she is the one filling them.

Yesterday I arrived at the B&B. I was wearing a lilac long sleeve satin blouse buttoned up to the top tucked into tight pink satin pants and 5 inch lilac shoes. I had full make up on. I got out of the car. This small ginger Erin was loading the vending machine. She said hi to me. I walked inside. I walked into the living room. I said hi to these two women our guests. I walked into the kitchen. My partner Megan, our employee and this 79 year old woman Beth our guest were sitting at the table and chatting. I just stood there in the middle of the kitchen . The conversation between Megan, our employee and our guest Beth continued. I contributed to the chatter. Than this short haired small skinny ginger Erin walked into the kitchen and started kinda circling , but she stopped behind me. She just stood behind me. All of a sudden I felt her hand rest on my upper back, I tensed up but i didn' t move away from it. The contact had been deliberate, nothing like an accidental brush of the hand that can happen in such situations.

I let out my breath and willed myself to relax.

This small ginger woman Erin must have mistaken the lack of a vocal protest as a positive sign and placed her other hand on my back, and she started slowly rubbing her both hands up and down my back. My lack of protest must have only served to boost her confidence, so she just kept slowly rubbing her both small hands up and down my back.

Then this weird small ginger Erin stopped rubbing my back, moved around in front of me, started to rub my upper arms with her both hands and said to me.

“ Louisa I know I’m invading your personal space but I can’t help it. This satin material It s just so soft and smooth to touch when rubbing, you have a beautiful blouse. you are so shiney. I just can’t resist touching and stroking satin fabric because It s just so soft and smooth to touch when rubbing. I love this feel. The softness, the way that my hands and slips and slides on the fabric is out of this world. It is not sexual at all. I don t like to wear silk or satin clothes but I just can’t resist touching and stroking satin fabric because It s just so soft and smooth to touch when rubbing. ”

. "

.

"I m sorry Erin, do I have a sign on me that says it s okey to stroke me? I m very fond of my personal space " I replied, but she just proceeded to rub my upper arms with her both hands. Megan, our employee Lisa and our guest Beth were sitting at the table, continued their conversation like nothing was happening. Than I said " I need to pee. " Erin finally stopped rubbing my upper arms and said" Ok Louisa. " sat at the table and joined the conversation. I went to the restroom.

I got out of the restroom walked into the living room, i sat on this indoor bench and started talking to these two women my guests about the weather. That was a big mistake. About 5 minutes later the small ginger Erin walked into the living room, sat next to me on my left side and joined the conversation. At one point, as she was sitting next to me on my left side this weird small ginger woman Erin just started stroking my back with her right hand. She rubbed my back with her right hand while the four of us had a conversation for a FULL TEN MINUTES, just slowly rubbing all over it including the top of my butt.

That bothered me but I didn't know how to say to her don't touch me with out sounding rude. So this small creepy woman Erin just kept rubbing my back with her right hand for like 10 minutes. It was awkward, i felt uncomfortable, so i finally got up and said "i just need to stretch my legs."

.

I circled the room for like 5 minutes, than i just stopped and stood there listening to this woman my guest talking about her son and his kids, then Erin got up, walked up to me and started rubbing my back with her left hand and rubbing my upper right arm and shoulder with her right hand. I made an off-handed comment about how it IS, in fact, weird. But she just said “ Louisa I know I’m invading your personal space but I can’t help it. This satin material It's just so soft and smooth to touch when rubbing.” and proceeded to rub my back with her left hand and rub my upper right arm and shoulder with her right hand for like 5 minutes, while i just stood there listening to my guest talking like nothing weird was happening.

Then Erin practically sat me on the indoor bench, she sat next to me on my left side placed her right hand on my back and started rubbing. I kept talking to these women my guests like nothing weird was happening. They seemed weirded out by Erin's behaviour, but they ignored that and said/did nothing as if nothing was happening. So Erin spent ages rubbing my back all over with her right hand. I kept waiting for her to stop but she never did! I finally said “stop touching me Erin!” She just shrugged and said “ Sorry I just can't help it !” Than she removed her hand from my back. About 5 minutes later i got up, said "i need fresh air." But this small weird ginger Erin got up and said " I will walk with you Louisa"

She just linked her right arm in mine while we walked , and it was so uncomfortable. So we walked outside on the deck , her arm hooked on mine. She said "You are not arrogant Louisa. You are letting small older women to touch you. You are a good woman. I am fascinated with you. Your employee Grace told me everything about you. We are friends. We are members of the same book club. She talks about you alot. I mentioned that you are my cousin's Megan new partner and she told me about you and that bookstore clerk Deb(my original groper) Grace said that you allowed Deb to touch you all she want. She said that any woman can touch you through clothes. Grace encouraged me to rub you. She says that you are a gentle giant. She is right. You are such a massive woman. You are physically stronger than me. This beautiful satin clothes are so tight on you because of your body type. You are so tall, big and soft. You are dressed in satin and I just can’t resist touching and stroking satin fabric because It's just so soft and smooth to touch when rubbing. She says that you tolerate touching and rubbing by small older women. " I was shocked and speechless. So she talked and we walked around the deck, her arm hooked on mine, for like 5 minutes.



Than she pulled her arm out of my arm and placed her hands on my sides. told me to stand still and proceeded to rub my back and ass with her left hand and rub my whole front side concentrating on my breasts with her right hand , just rubbing all over . My mouth dropped open. I was in complete shock.

.

Erin started talking about her issues " People call me ugly alot of the times, and also make jokes about my looks. Ever since i was 13 people always call me names. I think I'm ugly and you can tell me I'm beautiful but I won't believe it. There are so many odds against me but it doesn't change dealing with the feelings. And that's my problem. I'm so firm in my views and I don't know what to do. Since childhood I have suffered taunts about being poor, ugly,short and masculine. I suffered the worst bullying in high school, It was torture." She just kept rubbing my back and ass with her left hand and rubbing my whole front side concentrating on my breasts while she was talking. At one point my partner Megan,our employee Lisa and our guest old woman Beth walked outside. They just stood there watching me getting rubbed all over by Erin with kinda weirded looks on their faces. Erin just kept rubbing me all over with her both hands for like 10 minutes, while talking about her issues. The experience of having these women watching me getting rubbed all over was unsettling.
.

"That is enough . I gotta go. I have work to do" small ginger Erin said loudly and finally removed her hands from my body.

Small ginger Erin surprised me again when she fell into my breasts, and she stroked my back telling me what a good woman i am . Even when she reached down and squeezed my bottom it seemed reassuring. I felt like this small ugly ginger satin toucher Erin respected me and wanted to make sure i didn't feel badly. She was pressing her ugly freckled face face onto my boobs and squeezing my ass with her both hands, but i did not pull away. Instead i lost myself in the moment.

Finally small ginger Erin stopped "hugging" me, got into her truck and left. My partner Megan said to me "Louisa my poor cousin Erin is drawn to you because of all that shiny satin. Don't worry. She is totally asexual. She just has a fondness for satin material. " I was flustered and confused, i decided to confront my employee Grace, she was at work in my store, so I got into my car and i went there. It is a 20 minutes drive from the B&B to my store. I drove fast. I got there and stormed inside. Grace was chatting with this woman my other employee. I yelled at her .

"These ugly pervert midgets are groping me. They are just groping me. Because of you. You are spreading rumours that are HEAVILY affecting my life. You are a monster. I am targeted by these women because of you. You are seething with envy of me. Your book club friend Erin told me everything. You encouraged her to grope me.

Probably you told that horse faced midget at the women in wine party to grope me too.

These midget hideous women are so invasive. I have never encountered this sort of person before. You are a monster"

"Yes i told Jodi to grope you at that party. She is my best friend's cousin. I enjoyed watching you humiliated and confused. You made stupid faces when Deb and Jodi were groping you. It was hilarious and bizarre that standing next to these gropers you looked like a giant and you let them get by with it. I enjoyed your humiliation. Louisa you are not the victim. You arrogant, spoiled, stuck up, upper middle class snob. These women are just fascinated with you. You are always dressed in that ridiculous shiny tight form fitting fancy clothes, on those 5inch heels, with full make up, with your hair up, with your huge boobs your, big ass ? You are 5ft11. These women gropers are small and skinny. They are all much shorter than you. Midgets, as you call them. But you are totally submissive to that type of women. You arrogant overdressed cow. You are such a homophobe. You arrogant spoiled cow!!! You are so tall with your huge boobs your big ass, your ridiculous shiny fancy clothes . You are glamorous and elegant. Your breasts and ass are so massive. What do you expect? Some women for whatever reason feel it is appropriate to grab them and touch them because they're so big. You are like a giantess , for Christ's sake. I wonder why is it such an offense to you some small skinny women to grab your boobs or buttcheeks. Just let them. You stupid upper middle class stuck up insensitive cow. " Grace angrily responded.

I was shocked by her response. I yelled at her

"Grace you are fired!" She stormed outside. I followed her. She walked fast crossing the street. I got into my car and went back to my B&B. I got there. My partner Megan, the guest old woman Beth and our employee Lisa were still on the deck. I walked inside. These other two women our guests were sitting and chatting in the living room. I walked into the kitchen, locked the door and sat down. I just wanted to be alone.

[grover27]

Louisa, I'm really proud of you. What you did at the end of your story by confronting and firing your shitty employee was perfect. That is exactly what you needed to do and you did it. That was amazing! Fuck her and everything she said to you for sure. Wow, I can't believe she even said that shit. I'm also happy to hear that you were much more assertive this time against Erin, even if you may feel like you still let her touch you more than you want. I would recommend you talk to your business partner about this. You need a woman who can listen to you and respect your views on this. Moreover, you partner can help you in the future to make sure that Erin doesn't touch you again. Tell her that you hear what she is saying but that you don't want to be molested and you can't let it happen again and you need her help to stop it. Even if this is a lie, tell her you were molested when you were younger and that being touched like that fucks with your head. Even the most woke pieces of shit will have to respect that.

I believe I recommended this before I will do so again, https://www.amazon.com/When-Say-No-Feel-Guilty/

[grover27]

Here's a Youtube series on the topic

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=P ... F3wQ4PIAUR

[louisa]

[quote="grover27"]Louisa, I'm really proud of you. What you did at the end of your story by confronting and firing your shitty employee was perfect. That is exactly what you needed to do and you did it. That was amazing! Fuck her and everything she said to you for sure. Wow, I can't believe she even said that shit. I'm also happy to hear that you were much more assertive this time against Erin, even if you may feel like you still let her touch you more than you want. I would recommend you talk to your business partner about this. You need a woman who can listen to you and respect your views on this. Moreover, you partner can help you in the future to make sure that Erin doesn't touch you again. Tell her that you hear what she is saying but that you don't want to be molested and you can't let it happen again and you need her help to stop it. Even if this is a lie, tell her you were molested when you were younger and that being touched like that fucks with your head. Even the most woke pieces of shit will have to respect that.

I believe I recommended this before I will do so again, https://www.amazon.com/When-Say-No-Feel-Guilty/[/quote]
Thanks for the links and for your support. My former employee Grace has two kids. She is divorced. But i had to fire her. She worked in my store for over two years, since May 2019. The second I called her out on her problematic behavior she immediately freaked out at me. I don't need people like that in my life. It gives me so much anxiety knowing that she’s trying to ruin my reputation. This whole thing really weirds me out. She was spreading rumors about me and now I believe she is spreading more after I called her out and fired her. Also, it sets off some serious red flags in my own mind. If this woman Grace is lying about stuff like this, will she start lying about other things too?

[louisa]

[quote="grover27"]Louisa, I'm really proud of you. What you did at the end of your story by confronting and firing your shitty employee was perfect. That is exactly what you needed to do and you did it. That was amazing! Fuck her and everything she said to you for sure. Wow, I can't believe she even said that shit. I'm also happy to hear that you were much more assertive this time against Erin, even if you may feel like you still let her touch you more than you want. I would recommend you talk to your business partner about this. You need a woman who can listen to you and respect your views on this. Moreover, you partner can help you in the future to make sure that Erin doesn't touch you again. Tell her that you hear what she is saying but that you don't want to be molested and you can't let it happen again and you need her help to stop it. Even if this is a lie, tell her you were molested when you were younger and that being touched like that fucks with your head. Even the most woke pieces of shit will have to respect that.

I believe I recommended this before I will do so again, https://www.amazon.com/When-Say-No-Feel-Guilty/[/quote]
I've also realized that no matter how well you treat others, there will always be people who resent you simply for being happy and successful. You can't change them with kindness, because you're not the problem. Their issues come from deep within themselves.

[louisa]

[quote="grover27"]Louisa, I'm really proud of you. What you did at the end of your story by confronting and firing your shitty employee was perfect. That is exactly what you needed to do and you did it. That was amazing! Fuck her and everything she said to you for sure. Wow, I can't believe she even said that shit. I'm also happy to hear that you were much more assertive this time against Erin, even if you may feel like you still let her touch you more than you want. I would recommend you talk to your business partner about this. You need a woman who can listen to you and respect your views on this. Moreover, you partner can help you in the future to make sure that Erin doesn't touch you again. Tell her that you hear what she is saying but that you don't want to be molested and you can't let it happen again and you need her help to stop it. Even if this is a lie, tell her you were molested when you were younger and that being touched like that fucks with your head. Even the most woke pieces of shit will have to respect that.

I believe I recommended this before I will do so again, https://www.amazon.com/When-Say-No-Feel-Guilty/[/quote]
I just don't want my husband to find out about these situations with these women gropers because he will blame me. I just can't lean on my husband for help. He will probably blame me for having relationships with these women gropers. I am 5 ft 11 and being well endowed well built and curvy always on high heels makes me HUGE! But I love my height and my curvy stature. Since i gained weight my husband makes side comments all the time. My weight has been distributed nicely so I haven't really noticed it. Over the course of our marriage, I've been gaining more weight and he's been steadily losing. After all his weight loss/working out, he's in the best shape I've ever seen him and his abs are starting to be more and more visible. I'm the heaviest I've ever been and he's the lightest he's ever been. I love to eat a lot of fattening foods. I know that I’ve gained weight (about 20 lbs over the past 4 years) but my husband makes side comments all the time “let’s go to the gym, here’s more spinach for you, should you eat that ice cream tonight?” For the past year or so my spouse has been calling me fat. I am so p'd off at him, and told him that he needs to get off my back, but he's not. I told him I think he is abusing me but he just says the weight loss is for my own good!! He says my feelings shouldn't be hurt because he has only said it six or seven times.

[louisa]

[quote="grover27"]Louisa, I'm really proud of you. What you did at the end of your story by confronting and firing your shitty employee was perfect. That is exactly what you needed to do and you did it. That was amazing! Fuck her and everything she said to you for sure. Wow, I can't believe she even said that shit. I'm also happy to hear that you were much more assertive this time against Erin, even if you may feel like you still let her touch you more than you want. I would recommend you talk to your business partner about this. You need a woman who can listen to you and respect your views on this. Moreover, you partner can help you in the future to make sure that Erin doesn't touch you again. Tell her that you hear what she is saying but that you don't want to be molested and you can't let it happen again and you need her help to stop it. Even if this is a lie, tell her you were molested when you were younger and that being touched like that fucks with your head. Even the most woke pieces of shit will have to respect that.

I believe I recommended this before I will do so again, https://www.amazon.com/When-Say-No-Feel-Guilty/[/quote]
This morning i arrived at the B&B. I was wearing my short sleeve purple satin blouse with waist tie buttoned up to the top, black leather leggings and 5 inch heels purple shoes. I had full make up on. I got out of the car. This small ginger Erin was standing next to the vending machines. She started walking towards me. I wanted to avoid her, i saw my guest this nice divorced woman in her early 50s walking her dog on the yard, so i walked over to her and started talking to her. But this weirdo small touchy feely ginger Erin walked up behind me just placed her both hands on my back and started rubbing. She said .



"uuuu i love your blouse. Louisa you are always so elegant and shiny. This softness." she said. I kept talking with my guest like nothing weird was happening. So this weirdo small touchy feely ginger Erin spent ages rubbing my back all over with her both hands. I kept waiting for her to stop but she never did! Then she finally stopped rubbing my back, but she placed her both hands on my sides and just left them there! I ended the conversation with my guest, she turned her back on me and continued walking her dog.

I started walking and this small skinny touchy feely ginger Erin just linked her right arm in mine while we walked , and it was so uncomfortable. She said "Louisa you are extremely fashionable, elegant, glamorous, and classy. I love touching your clothes." I tried to walk faster but i was on 5 inch high heels. Then this weirdo touchy feely ginger Erin gave me a full frontal hug pressing her face on my breasts and said "Louisa because you are much taller than me, these hugs make me feel very secure and cared for. You are sooo tall, big and soft" .

I've had to remove myself gracefully from the hug after a minute or so. I just opened the door and walked inside. I kinda shut the door in her face. She got into her truck and left.