JackDrago wrote:Nothing in my files is known to do that in anyone else. If you are in a bad place psycologically use the Deprogram of your choice - Selective Deprograming is my offering. (Others have had good luck with cosmic Deprogrammer) and seek professional assistance if that fails.
If hypnosis is releasing things you are uncomfortable with, it might be a good idea to get psychotherapy on the material brought up. These things had to be lurking in your subconscious mind before they were released. Professional face to face hypnotherapy can sometimes correct things that files can't.
If you know the name of the file I can consult the script and try to figure out what went wrong. I wouldn't want anything else to get harmed in the event that it is a defective suggestion
*edit: I forgot to mention I've already tried deprogramming files but they sorta made a mess for me
I'm the original poster, I used a throwaway email for the first post.
Thank you for the replies and @jackdrago, I absolutely didn't mean to blame you, I'm really sorry if it sounded like that. The file that started this doesn't seem to be around any longer and I don't know who the author was. You probably just have a memorable name. About the file, I just remember there being a part with the words "until you never leave". It also was a compilation/remix of a couple of scripts but read by one guy. I'd like to create my own file to counteract the accumulated effects of the various files I've listened to. That way I'd circumvent any suggestions to listen to other files or repeatedly listen to the file.
I have a few questions I hope you'll answer:
Is it a good idea to use my own voice and write the script myself? The "symptoms" are quite complex and I'd really like to reassemble my (fragmented sense of?) self that I feel like I've lost. I hope that, like in the way my brain sorta broke itself (and is continuing to) after the files I've listened to, I can sorta tell it to fix itself. I stayed away from hypnosis for 2 years but after trying many other things I'm starting to think it might be the only way to unbreak myself.
I almost feel like I need to rewrite my personality, honestly.
Here's what I'd like to achieve with some notes. Maybe you'll have some suggestions, things I missed or maybe redundancies. Can this be done within one file?
- counteract the percieved dumbing down effects (almost to a thinking with my dick degree with renewed interest, motivation and enjoyment in studying, especially languages, science. (I'm an intern in the field and was planning to study computer science but whatever the learning center in my brain is, is completely fried.)
- regain my sense of self (I felt like I kinda kicked myself or the "good" self out during a file and really need to reassemble the fractured remnants. I felt as if some other identity suddenly came into being and actively tried to change me. I could only sit by and watch. Things were undescribably scary when this all started. It isn't a good one. Basically I just want to be/feel like myself again and get rid of or reintegrate the "alter" or whatever it is. I felt totally disassosiated at times and to this day can't identify with many of my actions and thoughts.)
- fix my language center both in what language I think in and regain the ability continue my studies (My mother tongue is German but I grew up attending an International School. I rarely speak English, but do almost everything with it. After listening to the above mentioned file, German sorta got kicked out. I no longer think in German and switched almost exclusively to English. It was around 40/40 before. The other 20 was Korean. These days, it feels like Korean is my "sanest" language. I can't describe how much I miss studying Korean and listening to music. Everytime I do these days I feel like something goes wrong.)
- Fix my relationship with music. Pretty sure this will not be an actual suggestion. I hope this just happenes organically through the other things I've written above. (It went through some really weird phases. Some time ago I felt like it was actually trying to kill me, at others I felt like the lost part of me was trying to communicate with me, these days I tend to be reminded of trauma and my thoughts just completely take some downwards spiral. I have to do some really weird form of mental yoga when I rarely listen to it: constantly redefining things, tring to get a grip on myself interpreting lyrics in really fucked up ways etc. I even had some really messed up physical symptoms.)
- forget about the "trauma" and stop the effects it seems to subconciously have on me (I noticed them way too late on mind-altering substances)
- reprogram my sexuality (this is a weird one, I never listened to anything related to forced straight etc. but I felt as if I was being forced into something akin to that. I've tried listening to a forced gay file when things were really bad but it included things about older dudes. Sorta had a stockholm phase, basically feeling threatened with my life through music, to go see that disgusting older male again that couldn't just ask after that file. Some part of me also thought I should just get it over with and things might go back to normal. They didn't. Somethings got a lot worse:/) I don't know how to go about that at all, probably should include some part about dudes around my age tho when I think about it.
- stop being paraniod, anticipating the worst, crippling anxiety about all sorts of mostly stupid things (confirmation bias is the worst, but actually had some bad experiences.)
- regain lost freedom, stop feelings of judgement (not sure if I did that to myself by examining the workings or no-longer-workings of my mind too closely)
- get rid of sick and intrusive thoughts (the file I listened to included suggestions about "your mind is a master at creating unlimited mental fantasies" and most of them really cross all sorts of lines. I don't want to go into this too much. It's exhausting. Probably tell it to stop generating and repeating the fucked up ones. Not sure how to accomplish this)
- get enjoyment from the things that used to in the way I used to: reading, games, music, tv shows etc.- get rid of voices (basically tell them to stfu)
- regain creativity (I wasn't the most creative person to begin with but it's almost gone these days)
- undo curses (eg. the lucid dreaming one seems to be turning life into a total nightmare and no lucid dreams still, I'd use a laughing smiley if it wasn't so unfunny.)
I hope the social problems will sort themselves out by fixing the above which is where a lot of them come from.
This might be a lot to ask, but would someone experienced, maybe JackDrago, be willing to check the body-script for any signs of self-sabotage once I've written it? I can't really trust myself these days. Also for bad wording or something that could be interpreted in a bad way, I've gotten scary good at that. I might also miss something important or "power-words" if they exist. I'll educate myself on the subject before tho.
If anyone has questions about how bad a mind can get, I'd be willing to answer them. I'm probably oversharing anyway:/