Help with...life?

[dangel1983]

Just stop wanking and looking at this crap on the internet! Seriously try and stop and see what you feel like after a month - hell you'll feel better after a couple of weeks!

It might be true that you've perhaps conditioned yourself to get turned on by these things, but it's just as possible to 'forget' what you've learnt too.

Also don't forget that when you're having sex for the first time it doesn't always go to plan and it's generally not that great - you're probably nervous and with all these doubts running through your head no wonder you lost your erection, you need to chill and just feel comfortable.
The fact you managed to get an erection and penetrate her shows that there is nothing wrong with you.

I'm making big assumptions here but if your spending ages on your computer wanking to this kind of thing, just switch off and go out and get some fresh air and meet some real people.
If you really need to beat off - try looking at other things like girl on girl action - you mention your love of tits - there's a whole world of awesome tit related porn out there.
If this girl is willing to take things slow that could be great as you can learn to explore each others bodies and get more comfortable with each other. Also another thing you could bear in mind, is to focusing on giving her an orgasm, stop worrying about what your body is doing or not doing and use you hands and mouth to make her explode.

You'll be fine, you just need to be strong and cut down (perhaps install a website nanny so you can't access porn so easily.)

Anyway that's the nice answer but in the spirit of this site - if you want an alternative we can always work something out where I buy you the biggest pair of implants and in return you can be my huge titted slut! :twisted:

[VeryGnawty]

This reminds me of the movie Inception. An idea can be like a parasite.

Very deeply held ideas can be difficult to eliminate, sometimes. I've had that happen before. If it seems to consume you, then it will probably take as much time to eliminate the desire as it took to build it up.

[slutinmyhead]

Maybe you can introduce her to hypnosis and find some happy medium. I've found the best way to do this is to describe it as a persuasion fantasy, like being coerced into doing something you're trying to resist. I find I can only become aroused if there's some kind of mind control element brought in. Sometimes I can imagine this without telling my partner (like in a one night stand or swinger party), but it's better when they're in on it. The nature of a fetish is that you need it for arousal, but I'm guessing your fetish is probably related to the hypnosis or power play rather than the specific suggestions. I will say, if you can get her to share your fantasies, hypnotic play with a partner is waaay better than doing it alone. Good luck and try not to stress or read too much into your experience. It may take a couple times to find your groove, but we all do.

[zapnosis]

A lot of guys go limp the first time... don't worry so much. Don't be afraid to try again!

[uw_onsterfelijk]

If all of what you say is true, I'm going to be honest here... your fuxored!

Sorry to say that but if it took "years" to make you how you are now, well... IF, and that's a big if, there is a turning back, it won't be easy and it won't be quick!

I do wish you the best though,
- uw_

[zzzzz]

Maybe the hypnotists here can make some more files that change us into "normal" behaving people?

And then just listen to those files! ;-)

[sarnoga]

Maybe the hypnotists here can make some more files that change us into "normal" behaving people?

And then just listen to those files! ;-)

You think there is someone here that wants to be normal? I am not quite sure what that is. But looking around at the general public and how they behave that sounds quite terrifying.

I see two types of "normal" predominant in the general public. Meddlesome bastards that want to stick their noses up everybody's business and tell them how to live their lives and mindless drones that believe the official propaganda and tremble in fearful obedience when the church or the government tells them to keep their pecker in their pants.

What kind of normal are you looking for?

I want to engage in a relationship, romantically and sexually with this girl- or any girl!

Why do you want that? It doesn't sound at all to me like you want that. Do you think you want that because that is what you are told "normal" people want. If women like that were so "hot" why do they go to so much trouble trying to make themselves look like a teenage boy with big breasts. Sounds to me like they are all trying to sell a company line con job.

Sarnoga

[zzzzz]

You think there is someone here that wants to be normal?

yes, once in a while it might be nice to be "normal" in some way

for reasons i put " " around that word

maybe a series of files of different kind of "normals" would be nice?

for example a file that turns you into Jane or Joe Average, or a "role model" series that make you fit somewhere in our society

long term warped users might like it! (or need it!)

[rgn]

But just what is normal and who has the right to make that determination for all people. The struggle is really within yourself to realize and accept who you are. I was almost 30 years old before I realized I really was gay. I was upset about it. Mostly about what others would think, how I would be treated, and how my family would be treated by others. It took a few more years before I accepted myself as gay. This thread reminded me of an article I read. Not sure it was appropriate to post the url here so I copied the short article.

Everybody's Normal Until You Get to Know Them
By Sondra Whitt

Someone once remarked that everyone is strange, just in different ways. The older I've gotten, the more "opportunities" I've had to realize that this is true! Why are they strange? Most often because they don't think or act like we do. So that makes them strange - to us - just as it might make us strange to them. Thinking about that made me think about families. Who doesn't have a story to tell about a weird family member or one who drives everyone nuts? Or maybe they just drive us nuts.

One day as a friend and I were talking about families she said, "I've always thought that the term 'dysfunctional family' was redundant." Although we laughed, she went on to explain that all families are dysfunctional, just in different ways and to different degrees. And since she's the office manager for a group of therapists, she knows what she's talking about! She sees all shapes and sizes of families with all kinds and degrees of "dysfunction." Having that perspective sure makes me feel better about my own family!

"Everybody's weird," writes John Ortberg, in Everybody's Normal Till You Get to Know Them. "This is such a fundamental insight, you may want to close the book for a moment and share this thought with the person closest to you," he continues. "Or the person it most reminds you of. Or perhaps these are the same person. Because we know in our hearts that this is not the way we're supposed to be, we try to hide our weirdness. Every one of us pretends to be healthier and kinder than we really are; we all engage in what might be called 'depravity management.'" And, I imagine, even the way we try to manage our depravity can be seen by other people as weird.

Ortberg points out that when a person's "weirdness" is made public, we're scandalized and say something like, "Can you believe it? And they seemed so normal." This happens when a high profile person is caught in a sex scandal or exposed as an embezzler. I recently discovered a childhood friend had embezzled a couple hundred thousand dollars and was going to spend some time in prison. I was shocked! It broke my heart to think of her family and children - why did she do it, what brought her to that point? She was so normal! Or as normal as any of us!

Sometimes other people's weirdness is really irritating to us. We can become angry or repulsed by it. So what do we do? We reject the strange, weird people who are so different than we are. We reject them when all they really want and need is the same thing we do -someone to accept them and let them know that they really are normal - just different. We can accept them with something as simple as a smile, a friendly look in the eyes, a touch, a helping hand. If we can learn to accept their "weirdness" then maybe we can learn to accept our own.

We used to live in western Kansas, which some people might describe as barren or even desolate. When we first moved there I might have agreed. But now when we travel through that part of the country I appreciate the openness. It is the same place, just viewed from a different perspective. What if we took the same approach with people? What's strange to one person is normal to another. While we think of strange as being "odd" it can also be defined as "extraordinary" - as in not ordinary. Our weirdness can, in reality, be our uniqueness. It's what distinguishes us from everyone else. The alternative would be a world filled with clones. And that would be really weird.

[ohyouknow]

Perhaps being 'made normal' could be a form of humiliation. There was a poster on here a while back wanting to be made more prim and conservative, with this as one of the motives (quite a hot post actually).

[VeryGnawty]

You think there is someone here that wants to be normal? I am not quite sure what that is. But looking around at the general public and how they behave that sounds quite terrifying.

I agree.

The worst curse anyone could possibly undergo is to be normal. All of the "bondage fucked by a tentacle rape" is quite mild by comparison to the absolute horror that is being normal.

[slutinmyhead]

Way better being compartmentalized... and yet I can totally understand why one might be a little disconcerted with not being able to keep the erection. Well, there are plenty of files floating around to remove suggestions. I haven't listened to any, but maybe some other user can suggest one that works. I'm more likely to put it on nerves though, or not enough foreplay. Men need foreplay a lot more than society seems to realize.

[bandler]

It sounds like you conditioned yourself in a certain way, and that conditioning is no longer meeting your needs. If that is true, you can condition yourself in a different way to meet your new requirements as well. Visit a hypnotherapist if you need help figuring out where to start.

[autumnheart]

1. Stop listening to the files. Listening to these things for years seems a bit unhealthy, and as you stated, using them for the purpose of masturbation seems like it would be no different then constantly looking at porn. If this is true then your only setting yourself up for failure no matter what the case because in your mind you are making unrealistic standards of how a relationship or how encounters happen. Actual sex in a relationship is not a fantasy and you should not be trying to fulfill a fantasy in doing such. There is a time and a place for fantasy, and this isn't it.

2. If you feel that you can't stop thinking about all the fantasy stuff then you need a change of scenery. Start actively seeking out new activities or trying to remember old passions. Look for things that interest you that are not at all related with your sexual fantasies. If you still can't stop thinking about these things, then I suggest professional help.

3. Stop masturbating. Grow some 'balls' and be a 'man' by having control over your bodily desires. I'm not trying to say that controlling yourself has anything to do with gender or orientation, but you need to learn that you are the only one who is in control of yourself. You let yourself listen to these tapes, you willingly accepted the message but you can also take control back. The danger in a lot of these tapes is that those who don't have the power of mind will fall in line like sheep. Don't get sucked into the comfortable routine.

4. Realize that sexual orientation isn't cut and dry. Its perfectly okay to like hard throbbing dick but dislike masculine features. Its because personally, I see the penis as an object attributed with a lot of power, not masculinity, when it comes to power roles. You don't need to be confused about if you are gay or straight, because those are bullshit terms that our society needs to do away with, but seeing as most of it is still struggling with the concept of being gay, we still have a long ways to go. Just accept what you like and don't like and realize that reality does not form to your fantasy. The universe is like a dictatorship in a way, you can see it for what it is, or you can delude yourself and go against it with great consequence.


On a personal aside. I'm a switch sexually, and sometimes when I casually dominate, nothing makes me happier then a submissive who has a mind of their own and isn't afraid to speak it. Though its my point of view, so take it with a grain of salt, but I think the extremes of BDSM where you start getting into power, slavery and 'owning' is the shit I really hate and disgusts me. These types of relationships that deal so much with power can easily be abused. If I look at a submissive and see someone who needs their hand held, can't do anything without a mistress or feels lost in the world if they don't have a guiding hand, then I'm sorry, you are not an adult, you are a child who is afraid of responsibility.

Personal aside 2: I think a good place to start would be to drop the diaper fetish. Chances are, most girls are going to think you are crazy if they find out about the diaper thing. Sure you can have what ever crazy fetish you desire, just don't let it interfere with relationships