OOPS< They Got My Gender Wrong!

[Barbie]

Just thought I'd add my bit to the discusson about wanting to be feminized. I wish it in the worst way...but not the way most people think of it. You see, I was born with indeterminate genitalia and the doctors took their best guess and decided I should be male. So they fortified me with male hormones and helped me physically grow to have a natural and healthy male semblance. Only thing is, what's inside---my psyche---is female. Ooops!
They say men are from mars and women are from venus, and I guess that makes me someone from a different galaxy all together. You see, I innately perceive and know the world from a female perspective, yet I was trained and socialized to see it the male way (and, trust me, guys,there is a huge differecne; gals, I'm not telling you anythign you didn't already grow up to know!). It took years before I realized that the two genders were mystified by each other; and when I finally came to grasp it all I finally understood how different I was from everyone.
Eventually I sought out therapists and doctors and tried to right what had gone wrong so long ago, but, wouldn't you know it, my body could not tolerate female hormones (in fact, an embolism developed and I almost died) because the damage had been done and those male hormones and steroids and other enhancements had locked me in to my physical (male) shell permanently. Apparently what's been done cannot be undone. So this is the rest of my life. I am as female as any other woman out there (except, of course, that my female private parts are invisible and intangible to me) despite the fact I appear to be as male as any guy out there (except, of course, for the fact that my male private parts are totally alien to me).
I know there a lot of you out there who get a kick out of fantasizing about being female (and I hope you have success with that) or even wish to make it real (and I so envy you that it can even be a possiblity), and if there is another like me, I'd be surprised, but I jusut wanted to share what it's really like when the gender line is blurred and some of the consequences it entails. I happened upon this forum, and felt I needed to have my say. (If you did,) Thanks for listening.

[willh5689]

i wish you best of luck if you need anything let me know :D