Twisted Wishes

by **CycoMelody** » August 12th, 2009, 8:27 am

granted

I wish I could go back to sleep

by **Route42** » August 12th, 2009, 10:18 pm

granted. but you're going to dream that you're at work... in real time. You wake up more exhausted than you went to sleep.

i wish someone would clean my room.

by **baby_jessica75** » August 16th, 2009, 9:06 am

Route42 wrote:

i wish someone would clean my room.

Granted you get robbed they clean out everything!

I wish I had a better job

by **CycoMelody** » August 16th, 2009, 12:20 pm

Granted you are now a Johnson and Johnson Rectal Thermometer tester. You get to lay around all day and you get decent pay but the down side is you get thermometers up the butt. Enjoy!

I wish I had some chocolate.

by **baby_jessica75** » August 16th, 2009, 5:14 pm

CycoMelody wrote:Granted you are now a Johnson and Johnson Rectal Thermometer tester. You get to lay around all day and you get decent pay but the down side is you get thermometers up the butt. Enjoy!

I wish I had some chocolate.

granted but the down side is it came off my thermometer.

I wish my wife were more Dominate toward me

by **MRhello** » September 9th, 2009, 7:21 pm

Granted, but she is so dominant that she ties you up, and punishes you for asking for food and water by withholding said commodities. When you go silent from dehydration, she punishes you for not speaking when she wants you to- by withholding, again, food and water. Have fun with dying of dehydration because your wife had a power trip!

I wish I was in a wish proof universe that only my wish worked on.

by **pigpupsf** » September 18th, 2009, 8:36 pm

Granted, but since you wished to live in fantasy land instead of the real world you are completly alone. Also, there is no sun.

I wish I could afford to wear diapers all the time.

by **C87** » September 18th, 2009, 8:59 pm

pigpupsf wrote:Granted, but since you wished to live in fantasy land instead of the real world you are completly alone. Also, there is no sun.

I wish I could afford to wear diapers all the time.

Granted but you now poop and pee out of your hands, one diaper will last a long time.

I wish that the effects from files could be achieved through small tablets that you can buy, once you swallow it then it works instantly (no need for weeks/months/years of listening to a file).

by **pigpupsf** » September 19th, 2009, 2:24 pm

Chris87 wrote:
pigpupsf wrote:Granted, but since you wished to live in fantasy land instead of the real world you are completly alone. Also, there is no sun.

I wish I could afford to wear diapers all the time.

Granted but you now poop and pee out of your hands, one diaper will last a long time.

I wish that the effects from files could be achieved through small tablets that you can buy, once you swallow it then it works instantly (no need for weeks/months/years of listening to a file).

Granted, however due to a slip of the hands you knock over several bottled of tablets and they all look the same! now you have no idea what any of them will do to you! (i know, i thought this was supposed to be negative too, oops!)

I wish i felt less self conscious about my body image

by **curiousguy92** » September 20th, 2009, 3:42 pm

Granted. You are now in a coma and are not conscious of your body image or anything else in the world.

I wish I was an immortal/eternally-24-year-old bodybuilder gay pornstar with a 10-inch cock that was hard whenever I wanted it to be.

by **C87** » September 20th, 2009, 5:26 pm

curiousguy92 wrote:Granted. You are now in a coma and are not conscious of your body image or anything else in the world.

I wish I was an immortal/eternally-24-year-old bodybuilder gay pornstar with a 10-inch cock that was hard whenever I wanted it to be.

Granted but you now have a form of alzheimer's and you keep forgetting about it every day.

I wish that I could have a real wish.

by **curiousguy92** » September 20th, 2009, 7:22 pm

Granted but it gets really twisted.

I wish for perfect abs.

by **CycoMelody** » September 24th, 2009, 8:13 pm

Granted, but they are covered with 300 lbs of fat.

I wish for a three musketeers bar.

by **baby_jessica75** » September 24th, 2009, 9:35 pm

CycoMelody wrote:
I wish for a three musketeers bar.

granted, you now own a failing bar where everyone comes in dressed as one of the three muketeers.

I wish i could orginize my thoughts so I could write files.

by **dasterdly** » September 25th, 2009, 8:16 am

Granted, but by organizing your thoughts, you lobotomized yourself and the only files you write are the file folders you scrawl on.

I wish I had more friends who offered me oral sex.

by **baby_jessica75** » September 25th, 2009, 12:14 pm

dasterdly wrote:
I wish I had more friends who offered me oral sex.

granted you now have many more friends who offer you oral sex they don't fallow through with it they just offer as a way of teasing you.

I wish people were more accepting of others differances

by **CycoMelody** » January 23rd, 2010, 12:04 pm

Granted, People accept others differences now but, thats only because people with differences are Shot On Sight!

I wish for some oreo cookies.

by **curiousguy92** » January 23rd, 2010, 7:20 pm

CycoMelody wrote:I wish for some oreo cookies.

Granted. You vistit the Oreo section of the Nabisco website and it leaves some cookies on your computer. :lol:

I wish for a sexy muscular man.

by **soundexcess** » January 24th, 2010, 1:20 am

Granted, though he was castrated at young age.

by **CycoMelody** » January 24th, 2010, 10:40 am

Because you have failed to make a wish, Bubba takes it on himself to make a wish for you. He decides to wish that you would make yourself available to him every night. You spend the rest of your life with a very sore bottom.

I wish people would make wishes.

by **curiousguy92** » January 24th, 2010, 11:43 am

Granted. Eveyone started making wishes at the same time and the results get all mashed together to form a nasty sludge monster that eats everyone who made a wish.

I wish they would cancel the show 2 1/2 Men.

by **excelsio** » January 25th, 2010, 4:18 pm

curiousguy92 wrote: I wish they would cancel the show 2 1/2 Men.

Granted... However after the show gets canceled a cult following forms in your town, and now no matter where you go or what you do, everyone around you dresses and acts as if they were the characters on the show.

I wish I could get the hypno-files to work on me more effectively

by **curiousguy92** » January 25th, 2010, 9:15 pm

Granted. Hypnosis now works so well on you that you are thoroughly addicted to that nice relaxed feeling. You spend all of your time trying to go into trance and you forget to eat and thus begin to waste away.

I wish I had a magic typewriter on which anything I typed would become real and true.

by **CycoMelody** » January 25th, 2010, 11:30 pm

Granted, you had it, Bubba stole it, and now you are his love slave for all eternity because he typed it.

I wish the dog would sleep in his own bed.

by **C87** » January 26th, 2010, 3:00 am

CycoMelody wrote:Granted, you had it, Bubba stole it, and now you are his love slave for all eternity because he typed it.

I wish the dog would sleep in his own bed.

Granted but your bed is now his bed.

I wish for my wish to not be twisted. 8O 8O

by **curiousguy92** » January 26th, 2010, 9:22 am

Granted, but in so wishing you set off a sort of butterfly effect that has negative consequences for everyone you care about.

I wish for everyone to accept me when I come out as gay/bi.

by **georgejorge** » January 26th, 2010, 11:38 pm

Granted, everyone accepts you for being gay/bi. They do not accept you though for the hideous, slimy hared, deformed monster you have become from some freak accident, involving toxic waste, on your way home from work.

I wish for whoever twists my wish to have three fold done onto them what is done onto me.

by **soundexcess** » January 27th, 2010, 12:17 am

granted you didn't really for anything though it ends up being 3x0=0 so net result is nothing happens to either of us.
I wish I could use my diaper files effectively.(ps I have diaper rash as we speak)

by **curiousguy92** » January 29th, 2010, 6:09 pm

Granted. Your diaper files work and you get regressed to the mindset of an infant. You then get kidnapped by an evil man who feeds you only mushed brussel sprouts and lets you wallow in poo for hours before changing you only becaus you smell so horrible.

I wish an attractive muscular man would kidnap me and brainwash me until my only desire is to worship his body.

by **soundexcess** » February 5th, 2010, 12:31 am

Granted one problem though he has micro penis syndrome and is narcissistic about his under 3" erect penis so that is the only tool you will ever have.

I wish any hypnosis file I listened to would work for me.

by **curiousguy92** » February 7th, 2010, 10:53 pm

Granted. A very cruel hypnotist makes you listen to a custom file 24 hours a day for a week that causes you to spend the rest of your life wallowing in self-hatred.

I wish there was no such thing as STD's/STI's.

by **georgejorge** » February 8th, 2010, 9:41 am

Granted, we do away with sex but now you can contract herpes from a toilet seat.

I wish for all of your dreams to come true.

by **curiousguy92** » February 8th, 2010, 11:12 am

Granted. In the first dream I have after this wish, you get turned into a rock. In the next dream, you win $1,000,000,000, but you aren't there to accept it because you're a rock, so they give it to me instead. :)

I wish I knew what to do with this $1,000,000,000 that I just won.

by **sarnoga** » February 8th, 2010, 7:54 pm

Granted. The IRS comes along and tells you exactly what to do with it.

I wish everything were just the way I want it.

by **soundexcess** » February 9th, 2010, 12:11 am

Granted your lobotomized and just don't care anymore/want any more. Some one can take my turn I got nothing.

by **curiousguy92** » February 10th, 2010, 8:27 pm

Ok then, I wish someone would give me a brand new 10 inch dildo that had absolutely nothing wrong with it.

by **soundexcess** » February 11th, 2010, 12:59 am

granted to recieve a brand new 1o inch dildo made of pyrex it is perfect in all ways you invite a friend ove and she get bit frisky on you using the dildo in your ass and breaks inside of you, you go to the hospital and the docs remove and all seems fine, but five years later you find a necrotizing infection has been spreading through your body due a small piece of glass missed by the attending physician, you sue for mal practice and win but you die a horrible painful death before the first payment is ever made and the money goes to your children.

by **curiousguy92** » February 28th, 2010, 9:47 pm

I wish to be resurrected, not as a zombie but as a whole human being in the same healthy condition I was in before soundexcess broke a dildo inside me, so that I can live a long happy life with my now-wealthy children. :o

by **georgejorge** » March 1st, 2010, 1:16 am

Granted. It's too bad though that you had such a fine funeral and a lovely tombstone. You are restored to life, but how much air did you think was in the coffin?

I wish for the genie to be set free.

by **CycoMelody** » March 1st, 2010, 3:10 pm

Granted, but this genie is NOT Aladdin's genie... Oh no. This one is an ex prison inmate who weighs about 400 lbs... Thats right! BUBBA!!!! Having released the "genie" from his lamp. he realizes he is horny and proceeds to fuck you in the ass for a few decades, every so often making his penis bigger Just to keep it interesting for you. Goatse 2.0 anyone?

I wish for H cup lactating boobs.

by **soundexcess** » March 3rd, 2010, 12:57 am

Granted a fine blue-green alien appears and sprays you with her lactation from her 6 h-cup tits to bad it is acid and die slowly over a year in critical care from the infection caused by the acid burns.

I wish to be free truly free.

by **MRhello** » March 3rd, 2010, 2:41 am

Granted. A giant neon sign (which has FREEDOM written on it, ironically) falls out of a cargo plane and hits you full in the face on your way to work. You die- but hey! Now you are dead, and the only freedom that is absolute is death! Have fun!

I wish for pudding! PUDDING, YA HEAR??!!!?!?!!one!!11!!!!

by **curiousguy92** » March 3rd, 2010, 1:11 pm

Granted. Your doorbell rings and on your front porch is sitting a 3-gallon bowl of chocolatr pudding. But wouldn't you know it? The proof is in the pudding and the cops arrest you for triple homicide. Before you even have a chance to eat the pudding the cops take it away as evidence and you get to spend the rest of your life in prison!

I wish to go to the festival.

by **MRhello** » March 4th, 2010, 10:40 pm

Granted: You go to the festival of the dead, and end up staying in hell due to an incident involving a cherry coke can, a football size lime, and quite a bit of astro-glide, you never leave. Tell bubba hi!

I wish for a bag of perfectly normal cheese puffs.

by **CycoMelody** » March 5th, 2010, 7:21 am

Granted, you receive you bag of perfectly normal cheese puffs. with a perfectly normal surprise inside. Congratulations you just won an all expense paid trip to Disney world. the only problem is... You have to go with Bubba.

I wish for a nice hypnosis session.

by **TrigMe** » March 5th, 2010, 12:42 pm

Granted, but the hypnotist forgets to wake you up until three days later.

I wish I was incontinent.

by **MRhello** » March 10th, 2010, 1:02 am

Granted; You are now not on any continent, but have appeared 10 miles below the surface of the ocean.

I wish I forgot what I meant by my "cherry coke can, a football sized lime, and lots of astro-glide" comment (I was referring to a real incident, btw...)

And I want cake. LOTSA LOTZA CAAKE, DAMMIT!

Oh, and I wish my cake is NOT a lie.

by **C87** » March 10th, 2010, 3:24 am

MRhello wrote:Granted; You are now not on any continent, but have appeared 10 miles below the surface of the ocean.

I wish I forgot what I meant by my "cherry coke can, a football sized lime, and lots of astro-glide" comment (I was referring to a real incident, btw...)

And I want cake. LOTSA LOTZA CAAKE, DAMMIT!

Oh, and I wish my cake is NOT a lie.

Granted but you hate that kind of cake.

I wish bubba was back in his lamp.

by **soundexcess** » March 12th, 2010, 12:09 am

Granted but bubba took you in the lamp with him and hw wasn;t cleaned in 3000 years.

I want be all that I am to everyone and accepted by all for who I am by all, and have a significant love interest who loves me the same way, and also a stable well paying job that dies not steal my soul, that I cannot lose, long and short I want have those things that matter, to be truly happy.

by **curiousguy92** » March 13th, 2010, 12:28 pm

Granted. You now live in Stepford-land, where everything is perfect beyond belief.

I wish pokemon were real.

Twisted Wishes

!0-0!

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