WarpMyMind

Granted, but it makes no sense to you.

I wish my crossdressing wouldn't freak out my wife.

Granted, she forces you into it, makes you get a sex change operation, and makes you into a slave for her and her new lover.

I wish that the internet was more stable here

Granted. The internet is now completely and permanentlyshut down.


I wish I never got married, had lots of money, and lived in San Diego.

Granted you never got married have lots of money and live in San Diego but its drug money and cops have your place surrounded




I wish i had some milk

granted but its from your grandmothers cat.....which died 2 years ago.

I wish I had a perfect photographic memory

Granted. But you only remember it for 5 seconds

I wish I had a red collar.

Granted but it's "light red"... also known as pink.

I wish I was more susceptible.

Granted, but you become more susceptible only to the wiles of insane serial killers.

I wish for 500-year flood protection.

Granted, you are now protected from 500-year floods. But most floods are much shorter, and you're still at risk of those.

I wish Flow123 was more susceptible .

Granted,but flow123 becomes so susceptible that i convince flow123 your out to kill him and he murders you slowly and painfully in self defence.

I wish the smurfs where really government agents.

This doesn't need granting because they really ARE government agents. I'm their controller and I've sent them to eliminate you now that you know the truth.

I wish Flow hadn't killed me slowly and painfuly.

(come on, I've left that one W I D E open)

Wish granted. You were tortured but not killed.


I wish that I could go to work and be as feminine as I wanted and that no one at work would notice.

They don't notice you at all, and you get reprimanded for not going to work...

I wish that I had the time to see all the old Doctor Who shows.

Granted. I just called your boss. you're fired. Go to town!

I wish I had gone to class instead of trying to learn 233 pages of medical biochemistry in 4 nights

Wish granted - but the classes where so boring you fell asleep anyway and actually fell behind even more.You failed college and left in debt with no qualifications or hope.You end up having to take part in amatuer fetish films and end up getting ass fucked repeatedly until your ass is actually unable to function properly.Your internal organs cease to work causing massive helth problems and you eventually over the course of ten years become more crippled and disabled.You end up being looked after by ugly male nurses in a mental institution that abuse and humiliate you as no one beleieves your stories.You plot revenege and somehow manage to sabotage there food and drinks and poison them one lunch time.You are discovered and prosecuted and are charged with murder.You get the death penalty.You spend years of menetal torture in solitary confinment fighting your case and appealing.You eventually, ten years later goto your execution with lethal injection.The doses are messed up and it takes hours for you to die in absolute agony.

I wish i had real magic powers.

Wished granted. You're a witch in Salem when hanging and burning at the stake were at the height of popularity.

I wish I could change back and forth between being a man and a woman.

Granted, you become a man when you walk forwards, and you become a woman when you walk backwards. If you are stationary, you lose all sexual characteristics and become completely sexless.

I wish I hadn't have killed Hypnostudent. :(

granted. He killed you.

I wish my previous fate on Whatthe!

Granted, But due to the alignment of the planets and the light of the sun reflecting off of the swamp gas on Venus, the wish backfires then you are hit by a bus.


I wish Vista was useful.

Granted. Vista is useful in your decision in buying a MAC.

I wish my dick was long enough for me to suck it.

Granted but because it is so long, you go into a semi-conscious state that leaves your mind totally open to suggestion whenever it gets hard. The first time you try to suck it, you accidentally leave the TV on Teletubbies, and when you finally wake up, you think you are a fat purple creature with a TV on your belly.

You attempt to go to work, but you can't talk properly, or really remember where work is, so you end up wandering around the city babbling and acting generally insane.

You eventually reach home, only to become incredibly horny after watching some care bears, and passing out yet again. Care Bears ended very quickly, but not before you absorbed the desire to blast things with your belly-gun.

Upon waking the second time, you leap out your window, make it safely to the ground and attempt to hump-blast the fist person you see. Too bad it was a cop. She takes you into the station, and determines that you should be committed for your own protection. Which you are.

I wish I had less homework, but the stuff I did have was interesting enough to keep me busy.

Wish granted. What you have is 5 days to live.

I wish I could unleash the beast within.

Granted, too bad it's literal, and a chicken ruptures through your chest cavity. D:

I wish I could turn whoever I touch into latex sexdolls!

Granted, but it goes all wrong when you touch yourself and self-tranforms into a latex sexdoll.

I wish to be feminized and fucked hard on the ass by a man.

Granted, but they never penetrate you because they just use your butt cleavage. (due to the wording "fucked on your ass")

I wish to be a 5 year old girl for the next month and fully enjoy it.

Granted, you are a 5 year old girl. You are left to stay with your temporary uncle who has an affinity for robbing the cradle.


I wish I had enough money to move.

Granted, you have enough money to move, but decide to donate it to the Hypnostudent retirement fund.

I wish Flow123 all the best in his session with Cardigan later.

Granted, flow had the session with cardigan and now believes he is a duck

i wish i had a dog

Granted, but he's 12 feet tall, with three heads and goes by the name of Fluffy.

I wish my car wasn't out of gas.

Granted. It wasn't the tank was full. But now someone's stolen your car.

I wish I had someone to iron my shirts for me.

granted, but once they're pressed, he loads them all in the back of my car and drives away.

I wish I had a new car

Granted you are now the proud owner of an old gremlin.


I wish for a means of teleportation.

granted, but you accidently teleport to a planet with no oxygen

i wish had superpowers

Granted, but it's the power of hindsight.

I wish My new subject Carl, would just accept my suggestions without question.

granted but you accidently suggest he gets lost and then he ends up in a forest somewhere

i wish i was a movie star :D

Granted, you ARE a movie star.

Ladies and gentlemen, please put your hands together for "Babe, Pig in the City"

I wish I had some bread to make a bacon butty.

granted but the bacon is a hogzilla and angry that you put bread on him!

i wish i had a tame pet lion who never attacks me

Granted, you have a housecat with a mane.

I wish there really was a gremlin on the wing.

granted, now your plane crashed

i wish i could finish a book

Granted. "FINISH HIM!" in Mortal Kombat voiceover.

I wish there WAS life on mars (past tense).

granted, THEY wiped out the dinosaurs!

i wish the file of my choice from this site worked on me

Granted, but it only works on you once... for 2 minutes.

I wish for wings that work.

granted, they are fly wings (actual size)

i wish i was invincible

Granted, nobody can see you and keeps bumping into you.

Oh, sorry, I thought you said invisible.

I wish I could hear properly.

Granted, you can hear again, but everyone talks to you in a prim and proper victorian style dialect.

I wish i was wearing high heels right now, and wouldn't even catch notice.

That is so wierd, as I gave a subject of mine a Victorian persona the other day to go with Cardigan's Victorian Lady outfit.

Anyway, Granted. You are wearing high heels, and you wouldn't even catch a cold.

I wish I was in bed asleep right now.

Granted you are, in the arms of Bubba, the 400 lbs prison inmate.

I wish I had another 2 dollars.

Granted, I give you the 2 dollars bubba owes you 'for services rendered'.

I wish I had some lubricant.

Granted, Bubba rubs some of his filthy, greasy sweat all over you.

I wish I could heal the pain i feel inside.

Granted, but the pain outside still hurts like hell, and that's where Bubba and his bitches have gotten hold of you and are forcing you to bend over.

I wish I could sit down now on my sore botty.