WarpMyMind

Granted, but you are one of the bad guys, and are promptly pumped full of bullets. Bubba, also in the game, finds your body, and being a sick necrophiliac (rapes dead people) goes to town on your body.


I wish for a giant cock.
(C"MON PEOPLE! THAT ONES EASY!)

Granted, but you have leprosy, so the giant cock is gradually falling off in bits and pieces.

I wish I was a huge musclefreak.

Granted. You are now so muscular, you cannot move without smashing something: you REALLY don't know your own strength.

I wish I wasn't hungry.

Granted, you lose your sense of hunger. Your stomach begins to eat your body. Your belly swells out showing the tell tale sign that death is coming and there is no hope of recovery.


I wish for 10000 dollars.

Granted, but it is all drug money and the feds are kicking in your door as we speak.


I wish I was God.



MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
HAHAHAHAHA!
*CHUCKLE CHUCKLE*
lol
rofl
roflmao
roflwaffle
..... and many more.....

Granted but due to the alignment of the sun and swamp gas reflecting off of Venus. Your wish is read doG. You are now a Beagle.


I wish a pack of vicious roaming dogs would go to Washington and eat all crooked politicians.

Granted. Im not going to twist that wish, because I applaud the idea, and wuz plannin sometin lik that mahself.

I wish that I was Satan. 8O 8O

DAMN ALL T3H POLITICIANS!

Cancel that wish. We allready have multiple satans, they are the Senate.

I wish I owned my own country.

Granted, but it's the United States and the entire population including military and secret service blames you for all of the nations problems. YOU MIGHT WANT TO START RUNNING NOW!!!



I wish I could quit starring at CycoMelodies avatar's tits.

Granted, but you are now gay.

I wish I had a 'tist readily available at all times.

granted, but now you find no woman's breasts attractive.

I wish I was pregnant with an alien

shannon13 wrote:granted, but now you find no woman's breasts attractive.

I wish I was pregnant with an alien

How the hell did you miss that one 13 hours later?

Granted but it is the baby of an illegal alien and he is being deported in 2 days. Have fun raising little Pablo alone.

I wish I knew which tist is going to work best for me.

Granted, but they've been dead for 10 years.

I wish I would wake up tomorrow as a beautiful 18 year old woman in perfect health.

You WOULD wake up as an 18 year old girl in perfect health.

If it weren't for the 80 year old body, and collapsed lung, diabetes, and Alzheimers'

I wish I could remember where I left my keys.

You do, but as the paper bag you are wearing is super-glued to your head, you go out driving like that. You get pulled over by a cop, who keeps dropping hints about how you could get out of the ticket.....

I wish that I had a pack of Salems right now. *jittery*

Sorry, I'm not completely sure what Salems are so instead enjoy your package of salami.

I wish to reserve the right not to make a wish.

Granted but since you always had the right to not make a wish the genie looks at you dumb founded and slaps you silly then he holds you while bubba starts punching you in the stomach.

I wish I could be at 180lbs.

Granted, you are standing on a medical scale at the 180lbs mark. The person being weighed faints from seeing a tiny person on the display.

I wish for cake.

Granted, but the cake is a lie.

I wish I could have resisted posting that.

Granted. But GladOS gets excited because you actually believed that the cake was real. It incidentally causes a small accident that causes your contract with the Aperture Science Cooperation and of course causes death.

I wish I was a little more twisted :p (make it good :p )

Granted you ARE a little more twisted ... no wait, I CAN'T grant that one ... you are twisted enough. You already have more twists than the best biking roads in the Alps.

I wish people hadn't left this thread to rot since Christmas day last year.

Granted. They flooded it with so much spam and trolling that the thread closed and EMG banned further threads on the subject.

I wish I could transform into any living thing I want, when I want, and can change back either at a set time, or voluntarily, and regardless of the animal/plant/bug/amoeba's intelligence, I have full control with the same amount of cognitive thinking that I have in human form in any and all forms.

Start random junk of doom

....(^-^).....
......||||...... <- (EVIL CHEEZBURGER OF DOOM!)
.....-----.....

...
I AM THE BEEG MAAK!
...
y are u drooling?
*NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM*
AHHHH! STOP! BAD PAC MAN! OMG! OMG! OMF- *NOM*
...
May McDonaldz R.I.P. (Rest in piecez)

End random junk of doom.

Granted, but you don't realize that Bubba likes that sort of thing and begins riding you like a stallion no matter what form you take.

I wish I had a monkey.

Granted, it smashes up your place of residence and any neighbouring places and then runs away.

I wish I never knew most of the things I knew.

Granted, however your now a recently discovered Neanderthal who for some reason knows how to tie his shoes. Various scientists will conduct experiments on you for years, and many activists will be hurt and killed in violent protests demanding your freedom.


I wish I could think of a better wish.

Granted...the wish is so much better, and you are so happy you spontaneously combust.

I wish snow was hot, black and floated upwards.

Granted, doomsday from globabl waming moved up a couple years!



I wish that this wish was not wished in a wishy-washy way. :twisted:

You wish for something manly and your partner gets shot and killed. You avenge his death by going on a killing spree only to loose the use of your manly parts in the final battle!

I wish I wasnt spontaniously combusted.

Okay, but you still are combusted by normal ignition means.


I wish everyone's wish would turn out just how they hoped.

Granted everyone wishes you a fun date with bubba tonight. Now get going or you will be late!


I wish Bubba would take a trip through the Bermuda triangle.

Granted, he does, and boy oh boy, are YOU surprised to see him on the same Caribbean cruise you booked on. What are the chances of that happening ?

I wish the power I'm feeling over my long-term subjects wasn't going to my head.

Granted, it's now going to the little head.


I wish for a swimming pool fool of whipped cream and chocolate and cherries. Oh and no bubba within 10000 miles of it :p

Granted, he's 10001 miles away from it. But then, so are you. "damn !" he says.

I wish non of my subjects past, present or future faked.

Granted. But you'll never know that all your subjects, past and present, are actually figments of your imagination, so they can't really fake anything.

I wish, when it comes to Pringles, that I hadn't been told "once you pop you can't stop" IS that a suggestion, or what?

Granted. You were not told that about Pringles. A doctor told you that, and now you cannot have sex without dying from massive dehydration due to the massive amounts of cum. I guess when YOU pop, you just can't stop.

I wish that I always had good luck, and that that good luck prevented this wish from being twisted.


P.S.I have a small question- is Bubba, like, immortal? Because I REALLY don't want a serial rapist running around on the Caribbean cruise Im goin' on tomorrow. If possible, can Bubba disintegrate in a puff of smoke to appear inside a black hole within a black hole, therefore compressing him so small that even if he was immortal, he couldn't do anything about it? Plz?

okthxbyebye

Granted. You now have such good luck you cannot have bad luck. Therefore, when all of the world gets angry at your extreme good luck, they kill you swiftly, which is lucky because they wanted to torture you to death.

I wish that I could eject flaming cheese wheels from my fingers at people to kill them.


Answer to the PS: Bubba is not immortal. Due to your good luck, he was killed in a freak car accident. When you die, however, your good luck doesn't apply.
Have fun with Satan's new assistant of torture...... BUBBA!!!!!

:twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

Granted, You can launch flaming cheese wheels at people and kill them. Good thing Bubba LOVES flaming cheese wheels, for breakfast Lunch and dinner. In fact, It gives him gas. Gas so terrible it can gag a maggot. That combined with your flaming cheese wheels results in 10000 megaton explosion leveling a major city and killing you and bubba. Well at least you didn't go alone :p


I wish for more cinnamon pull-a-parts!

Granted. You have unlimited cinnamon pull-aparts. However, they're all voodoo cinnamon pull-aparts, meaning every time you pull one apart, someone in the world loses an arm or a leg. Eventually a lynch mob descends on you.

I wish people no longer ate meat.

granted, but policies don't change about killing animals, so the pile of dead bodies eventually completely engulfs all majors cities.

I wish for whirled peas and harm money.

Granted, but the wish gets confused in a boat load of paper work and you wind up being turned into whirled peas with Hominy. It isn't long before everyone's favorite 400 lb escaped inmate sees you and decided to gain a few more pounds.


I wish I could go to flight school.

Granted, you are tossed off a cliff with a pair of wax wings tied to your arms and told to flap your wings to fly, but you only get about 10 feet of horizontal distance before you fly flat on your face into Bubba's whirled peas and Hominy

I wish i had free internet service without the ads

Granted. But it only runs on Windows Vista or Windows ME. And if thats not enough You need to triple your Ram and double your HD space and install a new Mother Board in your computer to even think about accessing the internet through it. OH and then Microsoft Buys it and incorporates it into the next version of windows effectively making it worse then Vista. Hope you enjoy :)



I wish rice cooked faster.

granted but you are now allergic to rice

I wish I looked exactly like angelina jolie

Granted ,but you look like her when is 80 yrs old and all wrinkly.



I wish I had the body of angelina jolie

granted, the police find her dead body in your trunk and you go to prison awaiting the death penalty

I wish my body would transform into that of an attractive 18 yr. old human female

Granted, You transform into a 500 lb 18 year old snaggle toothed girl who looks like she got beat in the face with an ugly bat. The good news is Bubba finds you absolutely attractive. :p
(Remember Jess There is so many people in the world with different tastes that everyone is attractive to someone. Don't base your idea of attractiveness on what people see on tv :p )

I wish could make my boobs grow whenever I wanted to :p

granted your boobs grow when you want them to, unfortunately there is no way to make them stop growing so they get so big as you sleep you cannot leave the bedroom and finally they suffercate you to death.

I wish I had a new sports car.

Granted, too bad it has been in a major traffic accident. Not to mention the hot sports car was used to run drugs and every cop in the state has it flagged.


I wish I could get my pilots license.

CycoMelody wrote:Granted, too bad it has been in a major traffic accident. Not to mention the hot sports car was used to run drugs and every cop in the state has it flagged.


I wish I could get my pilots license.

Granted but you lose it after screwing up big time on your first flight.

I wish I could get this WMM file working sooner. 8O

granted. but you misread the description and now you're attracted to to cankles and you sweat profusely, even when the thermostat is down as low as it will go.

I wish I was able to afford dinner...