Random Funny things you have seen or heard

[TechnoBrain83]

Back when i was in high school, i work for Wal-Mart (ugh) and around the holidays i helped load stuff up in to vehicles. Well one guy buys a full sized pool table. He comes around back to pick it up, and i swear the guy pulls up in a two door compact. I look at him and then look at the pool table and say "Sir, how do you plan to do this?" And with the most serious face and reply he said, "well i dont have any rope to tie it down, but i could go buy some duct tape." I looked at the guy and just walked off. I still wonder how the hell he got it home.

[Mallic]

Here's a joke to disgust polite company.

Why do seals have flat dicks?

[Make clapping motion near crotch and seal noises]

[JoeyBaggadonuts]

I work at the Sunglass Hut. We sell high end sunglasses. RayBan, Prada, Versace, Oakley and the like. Oakley has some glasses called Thumps. They have an MP3 player built in. I'm standing there in the kiosk with the sunglasses on and some guy walks right up to me and asks, "Hey, are those sunglasses?" pointing at my face.



I handed him a sign.

[Jacara]

Here's something funny I saw a couple days ago on Dave Barry's blog:

"When a guy is assigned by a higher authority, such as a woman, to watch a child at the beach, what he almost always decides they should do is dig in the sand. Usually this is fine with the child for a while, but sooner or later, the child becomes bored and wants to do something else. But not the guy. The guy is now into digging in the sand. He has a project going. He is building a fortress with nice squared-off walls and towers and doorways and a moat to channel incoming waves around the fortress, and maybe an outer seawall for added protection. This is serious engineering, and it takes all of the guy's concentration, which can lead to problems when the woman reappears, because, rather than appreciating the impressive structure the guy has made, she wants to know where the child is, and she will not settle for an estimate.

Women."

:lol:

[Whiskers]

"The United States imports six millions barrels of oil a day from the Middle East. If stacked one on top of another, it would make a stack six million barrels high. "

-from Iraqi War article @ pointlesswasteoftime.com