by BabyRox » June 30th, 2008, 2:42 pm
I have been bladder incontinent while sleeping for several years, but was never able to poop in my sleep. I began using the new MindMaster series a few months ago, and have had more success than with any other files. Almost two months ago, I began to have wetting accidents if I wasn't diapered and had to go back to wearing diapers full time. Being in diapers constantly, I soon found my wetting pattern was changing. Instead of having pee building up in my bladder and releasing when it was "full", I found that my bladder was releasing little trickles of pee every 15 to 30 minutes with NO feeling of fullness at all. After a while I barely realized I was wetting until it actually happened, and it became so constant that I stopped noticing it altogether.
Last month, I began to notice something similar happening with my bowels. I would awaken with my bowel already pushing a load of poop into my diapers. During the day, I became less and less aware of my bowels feeling full. When I did notice, it was only moments before my bowels moved despite my attempts to hold back. As I realized I could no longer hold my poop, I found myself pooping as soon as my bowels were full and making no attempts to hold it. A couple of weeks ago, I had my first bowel movement while sleeping, and it had happened nearly every night since.
I'm not really fond of poopy diapers, but babies don't get to choose just to wet their diapers. Babies have to use their diapers for everything, and I wanted to really experience wetting and pooping my diapers like any other baby. The third file in the MindMaster series was very helpful in letting me accept that despite my age (57) or size, I really am as much of a baby as any 12-month-old.
I sleep in triple-cloth diapers every night, sucking my pacifier all night long and cuddling my huge teddy bear and my "blankie" close. I wake up every morning in soaked and usually poopy diapers, and a diaper change is the first act of my day - like most other babies. I drink from a nurser or a sippy cup, and my breakfast is usually strained fruit and baby cereal mixed with baby formula.
Wetting and pooping in my diapers now feels completely natural and normal to me, just like it does for any baby. Being in diapers 24/7 is something I've wanted for years, and I can't see myself wanting to ever be toilet-trained again. My daytime wetting is now as unconscious and uncontrollable as my nighttime wetting has been, and the pooping has now become just as irresistable. Even if I feel a poop coming, I never think about using a bathroom anymore. I just start thinking where I can go to get my poopy diapers changed for a dry clean one. After more than 7 years of sleeping like a baby, I've begun to live like one during the day as well, and I LOVE feeling like a baby again!