Starting Feminization while Genderfluid/Trans Man

[hollowtown]

Hey there everyone. I'm 29. Genderfluid, but I basically present as a trans man in most of my life. That's just how it's worked out in terms of what I want my body to be like, and I have a hormonal condition that is treated by taking testosterone. I found that even as a child my presentation would shift from feminine to masculine. Like a pendulum. And I've been on a loooooong masculine swing, and now I'm moving towards something more androgynous. Ever since I got top surgery (no nipples) I've been more interested in playing around with some femininity, but it's been a long time and I'm not sure how to approach it now.

I've been experimenting with hypnosis for a bit over a year now but have had the interest for a very long time. Going back to middle school I would have intense vivid fantasies usually involving being restrained in some way, having my consciousness altered, mind control chips, experiments. At some point that stopped and I didn't think of it until a few years ago. Everything revolving around loss of control, altered states of mind, bondage.

Most of my hypno experience was all over the place, a good bit of droneplay, petplay, and I found the dominant hypno culture not great for me as I'm prone to compulsive behaviors, and as fun as it is I do not need hypno interfering with my life.

I've been recultivating my fantasizing practice, employing an inner hypnodomme voice and it's been very fruitful. A dom I've worked with previously gave me a trigger I could use on myself and I've built a lot of my self hypno practice off of that. I've been listening to some feminization files and have enjoyed them a lot and I'm cultivating a feminine persona and I have some clothes I've saved from pre top surgery and costumes. I dabble in some drag, all kinds of presentations.

I would love to hear from people some suggestions, and to connect with any other trans people here. Sorry if anything is confusing, I'm writing this feeling the tug of trance, so I'll leave off here :3

[hollowtown]

Quick update!

I've been on a bit of a break from hypno, and am still on a break on doing sessions with others. Before my break I Was listening to feminization/bimbo files and playlists and I've really gotten somewhere with it. now that I'm coming back from my break I'm coming at it from more of a genderfluid/genderfuck perspective. In day to day life I've achieved a very nice level of androgyny that is puzzling some, delightful to others. Now that I feel more comfortable in my body I feel like I can experiment with my presentation. I love love love how my chest looks in women's tank tops post mastectomy.

Back to hypno, I'm also incorporating other sensory elements into my sessions. I got some more lights for my room and can program them to go through color sets so I ave some set to some pleasing colors and one flashing quite quickly, along with some.

I'm experimenting with self bondage, and some compression garments that I have, tightening my harness. The pressure helps me regulate myself, and it bordering on restrictive is a nice, low level, constant sensory input. Very nice since I can get easily overstimulated. I'm shackled and have basically enough slack to use my computer, grab some things from my desk if I try really hard. The low level buildup is nice since I tend to overdo it with hypno when I'm in more of the hookup type spaces.

Now for the trances, I'm getting good at dropping myself and sort of speaking to myself in a dom voice. I can get myself to fall limp or freeze totally still for a bit, and each time it gets deeper, harder to resist, etc.

See now the fun thing about being in this susceptible state is that thinking about the hypnosis makes it harder to resist dropping. This is such a struggle to get out coherently.

I'm looking forward to talking to more people! bye bye now