by Catherine » July 1st, 2006, 9:10 pm
pfoley83....what are you really seeking? Are you doing this for weekend fun or permanant changes? Are you really willing to lose your job, maybe your family, have to move, etc.? Willing to spend all kinds of time and money for it or are you doing this on the weekend....to break the mold of how you live during the week, slip into the female side of things a bit, and kick off responsibility in your life for a day or so?
No matter whether you find someone willing or not, Nyarla is most correct. If you want this and are asking for it, you will never be "forced" into this. You will either have to lay out a list of things you want and hope someone is willing to play by your list or you could get into a position where you could be taken into a completely different direction from what you hope and intend. Do you want to just be some hooker looking for guys on the street in a tight leather mini when you're done..being used, abused and who knows what else? Are you wanting to be a successful businesswoman dating men and looking for a regular life as a wife and maybe adopting mother? Are you just wanting to be a woman's sex toy for her to poke with rubber dildos? Are you wanting to be a secretary being treated poorly by her boss and making barely enough money to pay your bills?
You have a LOT of questions to ask yourself and decisions you have to make before you start asking for being feminized. You have to realize there is no real "force" in this process as you are asking for it and likely laying down ground rules of what is acceptable and what is not. Force means you don't get the choice to do it or not...for real. They'll release pictures at work of you having gay sex with a guy, they'll kill you, whatever. Anything else is just play. I like being tied up sometimes, but it's never really "for real" because I would try to seriously hurt and stop the person trying to do it if it was real and I don't want to hurt the person doing so in play. Real force means you don't have the choice and likely never wanted this to happen to you in the first place...which means you'd never be here asking.
I'm not saying don't do it....maybe it's what you really want to do, but understand that your end goal may not be compatible with your feminizer's and you need to find someone who will help take you where you want to go, but you will still be making choices, still be making the deep down important decisions. You will still have to talk to the therapist to get your hormones, to a second one after living as a female for a year for your second letter for sex change if you wanted to go that far. There is no force in that doctor's office from your feminizer.
I'm only posting in here because I'm going through this FOR REAL. 24/7/365 I am now a female and I live with it everyday. I have my surgery in just over a month and it's irreversible. I've had real and physical changes to my body, have spent all kinds of money on clothes, hair products and having it styled, shoes, name change, hair removal, etc. I always thought the stories of forced fem were great...wished it had happened to me, but I came to realize that if I really didn't want it like those guys in the stories, it would almost assuredly never happen to me and I wouldn't be asking for it. I once considered even paying for a session just for fun, but I came to realize I didn't need it once I came to my true self....I like boys. I date boys. I have sex with boys. I go everywhere and do everything as a woman. This is my life...paying bills, working, cleaning house, talking on the phone. It's not glamourous, but it's me and I'm happy. I don't wear a skirt everyday, a couple of people where I'm at now were surprised to see me in one the first time as I'd had on pants so often there. Frankly I'd rather wear a skirt or a dress, but my job doesn't permit it usually. If someone bugs me at 3AM and I'm woken up, I have to go to the door as a woman, in her robe wrapped around me, and respond in that manner. Doing this full-time and for real requires more than someone having fun with making you do things. It requires you make a lot of those decisions yourself and carry through with them. If you are scared, talk to others. If you are just wanting to have fun, have fun and don't do anything permanent without serious thought beforehand. This is your life...not someone else's. You either make the decisions yourself or you are telling them how to make your decisions for you, but either way you are still making those decisions based on what you want, not what they want. Don't hand over your life to someone who will do to you things that you will regret later or who puts their own agenda on you instead of what you want. You won't enjoy it and the results won't be what you are after.
If you have questions, I'm willing to answer them....for nearly every aspect of the change, I've been there and done that, from clothes to discovering boys, to the legal and medical aspects of it.
Catherine