by limpclitty » July 17th, 2013, 4:44 am
Just thought i'd share my experiences with MsJ's files which i have to thank for making me the silly faggot i am today *giggles*
I discovered erotic hypnosis in late 2009, experimented with files by hypno-dommes like Isabella Valentine, Goddess Lycia, etc and enjoyed them a lot, especially the sissy/feminization focused ones.
I originally downloaded MsJ's Little Miss Squidgy file around the time it was released which i think was around this time in 2010... Hard to believe it's been 3 years :oops:
I distinctly remember the very first time i listened to it, i was still living with family at the time but they happened to be away in another state for 3-4 days so i was taking advantage of having the place to myself. I was intrigued by the file description and downloaded it immediately as i had a premium account at the time (the file along with LMS 2-4 became free after a certain amount of time like all premium files here).
I remember putting it on through regular speakers rather than headphones that i'd normally use (due to having the place to myself and not needing to be as discreet) and i thought i'd just kind of preview the file to see what it was like but even as i just basically listened to it in the background as i did other things it managed to draw me in on so deeply, to the point where i was just helpless to resist. Even though i had experience with some fairly hardcore files (Isabella Valentine's Sissy Shower was probably my favourite up till i discovered LMS), MsJ's work was just on an entirely new level. I can't really listen to stuff by Isabella etc anymore as it just feels tame and kind of like 'novelty' compared to the genuine life changing work of people like MsJ.
It spoke to me on such a profound level and i began listening to it regularly. She released the follow-ups in the series (Limp, Panties & Suck) soon after the original file and it was hard not to become obsessed with being a limp little sissy who could never dream of having sex with a woman.
I trained with all 4 of the free LMS files on a weekly basis, and immediately bought Part 5 (Bimbo) and Part 6 (Sissy Forever) when they were released and they were even better than the previous ones. I also trained with Sissy Cocksucker Part 1 & 2 when they were released, and they were also amazing and just as arousing to listen to, but they weren't as useful for regular conditioning as the LMS files are. I also bought Cumslut: Happy Orgasms when it came out and i loved that file too but again it wasn't something i wanted to listen to on repeat the way i did for the LMS files which i think have the most replay value of all MsJ's files.
For the first 6 or so months that i listened to Little Miss Squidgy, i had maybe a pair of panties, a bra, a girly top and a skirt. I would occasionally buy pantyhose if i was able to work up the courage which wasn't often as this was before i became accustomed to online shopping *giggles*
I fantasized about being a full fledged sissy all tarted up with slutty makeup and the prettiest outfits for months as i listened to the files (and other hypno like the Sassy files from the now defunct hypnobabble and Domina Stern's amazing 'Impotent' file) but never really imagined that it would ever be possible for me to be that way outside of a fantasy.
In early 2011 i started living by myself (looking after a relative's place while they were overseas for a couple of years) and within about a week i had started ordering clothes online and even decided to get some makeup which i had never done before at that point. It was so exciting having a real selection of clothes after having just the bare minimum up to that point. I soon had about 5 times the female clothing as the silly pretend male stuff and i loved it. I ordered bras and panties online regularly as well as pantyhose, a waist cincher/corset and various makeup.
I also ordered some Pueraria Mirifica (breast enhancement herb) online and took it for a few months to increase my bust. It definitely made it firmer and also i just felt like my breasts were kind of 'activated' after i started taking the PM, it just made them more sensitive and i would be more conscious of them and find it more pleasurable than ever to play with them, wear bras to accentuate bust as much as possible etc. My nipples also became bigger after basically being inverted most of my life, they're still not like genetic female nipples but at least they're big enough for big strong men to pinch now *giggles*
As a true sissy i feel i am blessed with a tiny little clitty that shrivels right up and practically disappears when i'm wearing my panties like a good sissy faggot. I became more and more obsessed with having a limp useless clitty and it got to the point where i would only masturbate if it was at least somewhat soft, if it got fully hard i would stop (which was also influenced and encouraged by Goddess Gracie's Limp Clitty file). I had stopped using my full fist to masturbate at least 6 months before i even started listening to Little Miss Squidgy and after training with the whole series i became more obsessed than ever with having a soft little clitty and keeping it nice and smooth and tucked away in my panties at all times. The thought of having an 'erection' is just so silly and uncomfortable for me now, it's just not a nice feeling at all for a sissy like me *giggles* if it happens i just wait patiently for it to get limp again before i can resume diddling *giggles*
By mid 2011 (about a year after discovering MsJ's files) i had a whole wardrobe of feminine clothing as well as makeup and a couple of wigs. I invited guys over (not too often as i'm shy and usually just dressing up keeps me satisfied) to the place i had to myself and all of the conditioning definitely paid off.
One guy told me in advance to turn off all the lights and leave the front door open for him, then i was to simply kneel on the hard wood floor in the hallway (wearing heavy makeup, slutty clothes with tits out, pantyhose and heels) and he would let himself in. It was so exciting when i heard him at the door then seconds later he was standing in front of me telling me to suck his cock which i did with much enthusiasm *giggles* then he told me he wanted to fuck me which made me excited but a little disappointed i couldn't suck his cock for longer lol. i felt him feeling around at my pussy from behind through my pantyhose and then he lubed me up after ripping my pantyhose open to get to my pussy and it was just the bestest feeling ever *giggles* i had never been fucked so hard as that night in my life, it was the first time i have ever been truly satisfied by an actual cock (usually dildos etc would get me off more in the past), i couldn't believe how hard he fucked me to the point where it hurt but in a good way and i felt so proud of how good i was at taking his cock in my pussy for a good 20-25 minutes before he came. I loved getting fucked so roughly on the floor like a cheap slut. I should also mention he particularly loved my tits and spent the whole time squeezing them very hard which made me feel like his property which i liked *giggles* he even complimented me on how nice they were (and this is before i ever started taking the PM giggles) and i just felt sooo proud.
Another guy came over a few weeks later and he was much more gentle but he had a massive cock that was thicker than any i'd ever seen in person before. We didn't fuck but i just sucked his cock for a good 30 or so minutes before he came all over the place then he said i was a cutie and gave me a hug and texted me later and i just felt soooo good *giggles*
In 2012 i started training with all of the Goddess Gracie files and they really helped bring my sissification to the next level. The influence from the LMS series was obvious especially in the early files but they were incredibly helpful in keeping the correct sissy attitudes at the forefront of my little mind *giggles* i also bought both of the Becoming A Girly Girl files from MsJ and i liked them a lot, they are just as well made as the previous ones (if not more-so) but they didn't speak to me as much as the LMS ones did, though i have been meaning to revisit them as they were released at a time when i was too enamored with a couple of other sissification files to really give them my undivided attention. I really hope part 3 is on its way soon!!! I would also love if MsJ made a file that was more like the older ones but i guess maybe she has moved on from the 'sissy' phase since the newer files don't really use the word sissy as such.
The last 6 or so months i haven't been living alone which has made my feminization much harder to maintain. I still have my clothes and makeup stashed away for whenever i get the chance to dress up but generally i've been forced to put it to the side for most of this year. I went a few months without listening to any hypno at all and just kind of accepted that and it started to feel like the desires and effects were diminishing somewhat after a while. About a month ago i decided to listen to a file for the first time in a long time and i chose Little Miss Squidgy: Panties (the 3rd file in the series). It instantly blew my mind all over again and i had a much bigger/deeper and more feminine orgasm than i would have from just masturbating to a sissy trainer video or whatever. I listened to Suck the next night and low and behold, a few days later i was buying several pairs of panties, bras and pantyhose on ebay and obsessed with hooking up with a guy and sucking his cock.
I never actually got a chance to dress up properly in the time since that happened but am going to finally have a real chance over the next few weeks which i'm looking forward to :) i still have so much unused makeup that i bought months ago, i really miss wearing makeup as i would do it all the time when i was living by myself.
I listened to the original LMS last week, then i listened to Limp (which is currently my favoritest) a couple of nights ago and felt every word sink into me like i was discovering it all over again. I listened to Bimbo the next night and that was even more amazing and i truly felt a little confused and dumber after it ended. It's amazing that the files are still so effective to me after all these years and that they haven't lost their edge or become stale to my mind in any way. Anyone who heard them a long time ago and hasn't for a while should revisit them, i was surprised by how intense it was and how new the experience felt to me considering i'd heard them all several times before. Since listening i have been more aroused in general and can't stop thinking about walking down the street in pretty clothes and heels and it just feels like i'm a bitch in heat as the direct result of listening *giggles*
Thank you Ms J for all of your amazing work, please make a new file soon <333