How to improve my file

[jon1223]

Hey everyone, I just finished up a file that I have majorly procrastinated for about a half a year, but I finally finished it ^^ What I would like is for people to tell me what I should do to make it better. I wasn't really sure if I should put this here, or in the Help for Files section. Anyway, the file uses an experimental method I wanted to try out of placing the listener in a story and having them go through it, having everything happen to them that happens to them in the story. Also, this file would require a female person for a few lines, along the normal tist. So, here it is(btw, I think the intro is to short, but I may just be crazy, hehe)
[code:1]
Hello, and welcome to my second hypnotism file. This file is intended to run you though the second half of the Drink Me series that Janus has created. This file is intended for male listeners, and the effects will last for as long as desired after listening. It is also highly suggested that you look through the series of images to know exactly what will be happening to you during the file. If you have any ideas or constructive critisim that you would like to share, my name on WMM is Jon1223, and on FM, Inuyasha10121. I would love to hear comments about my work, and how I may improve it. So, relax and enjoy!

//INDUCTION
Alright, I want you to sit, or lie down now. Place your hands in your lap or by your sides. Now, I want you to slowly tense all your muscles, one by one, starting from your head and going to your toes. Pause the file until you are ready to continue.

/*PAUSE*/

Done? Great! Now then, I want you to begin to slow your breathing. Just relax, feeling your breathing becoming more relaxed. Close your eyes, just relaxing your eyelids. Now, I want you to imagine yourself in a field of grass. Just imagine yourself lying down in the lush grass. It acts and a comfortable cushion. Just relax, imagining yourself lying in the grass. Feel your body grow heavy and relaxed, as if it were filled with sand. Feel your body filled with warm sand. You just feel so heavy, so relaxed, so amazing. Now, imagine that the sand in your feet is slowly pouring away. Feel your feet becoming empty and lighter than air. The sand seems to pull all the stress and tenseness away gently. You feel so good. The sand begins to leave your calves, making them feel so empty. The sand slowly leaving. Feel the sand leave your thighs, making your legs feel lighter than air. It’s as if your legs are no longer there, the sand seeming to take all the stress of the world with it. Now, feel your stomach and lower torso begin to empty of the sand, slowly and steadily. It feels absolutely amazing. The sand now begins to spill out of your chest, you chest feels as if it isn't even there anymore. Your body is just becoming so relaxed, so amazingly comfortable and at peace. Now comes your upper arms. The sand pulling all your stress away, relaxing you so much. Your upper arms are empty of the sand, empty of stress. Now comes your forearms. Just feel the sand slowly leave, making your arms empty and relaxed. You are doing great. Next come the hands. Just feel the sand empty from the fingertips, relaxing your hands so much. It feels great. Now, feel the sand begin to leave your head. Starting at your neck and slowly working its way up. Feel every muscle relax, all the stress gone. Your body is empty of sand now, empty of stress, completely relaxed. Your entire body is lighter than air, almost as if it isn't there. So relaxed...so amazingly relaxed. Now, I want you to image a bubble form around you. The bubble is a soft pink color, gently lifting you up. The bubble begins to rise higher and higher, yet it feels as if its not there. the bubble lifts you higher, closer to the clouds. You slowly rise, bursting through a cloud. Feel the gentle mist of the cloud on your body, it sends a slight chill through your body. Your rise higher, and as you do so the sun begins to shine warmly on you. Feel the sun warm your body, relaxing you even more. The cloud gently sails along the sky, the wind pushing it slowly. Feel the wind, sending a tingle through your body. Now, the bubble begins to slowly descend. Slowly but surely, it makes its way back down to the ground. You are still so relaxed, your body empty of all stress, empty of sand, feeling as if it is not really there, like it’s an empty shell. The bubble lands in a field, much like the one you were just in. It lands gently, slowly, and pops softly, leaving you in the grass. You feel amazing, so deep, so comfortable, so relaxed. My voice is so relaxing to you. Now, lets work on your breathing. I want you to slow your breathing. Just relax, you don’t need to breath fast, just slow down. By slowing down your breathing, you will relax even more. Just slow your breathing. In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. That’s it, just relax even more. Go deeper and deeper. Now, lets make sure you are completely relaxed, before we continue. I’ll give you a few moments to make sure that you are completely relaxed, completely comfortable. Just make yourself as relaxed as possible.

//PAUSE

There we go, you love being this relaxed, you love listening to my voice. You love how I guide you to be more relaxed. Just let me guide you deeper and deeper into a trance. My voice relaxing you more and more, your subconscious listening to every word I say. I’m gona give you a little test now, to see if you are truly relaxed, and your subconscious is ready to accept the little story that I will be painting for you in a few moments. I want you to focus, for a moment, on your hand. Just focus on your hand, invisioning what it looks like in your mind. Now, simply feel it become lighter and lighter, becoming as light as a feather. Just completely weightless. Now, feel your hand begin to rise slightly, just rising up an inch or two above where you are. Just let it rise, its so light that it rises on its own, almost as if it is filled Helium. Rising up slowly, but only just an inch. Now, your hand is becoming heavier, just let it become heavier. It isn’t a rapid change, just a slow, gradual change. Your hand is slowly falling now, just about to touch the surface of where you are. Now, let it rest back where it was, just let it fall gently, and touch down. You see, its so easy for your mind to follow my instructions, without you even thinking about it. Now you are ready, ready for me to paint a little story for you. I’m going to guide you through this little story of mine, and as I do, some changes will be happening to you. You will become lost in the story, my voice taking you through it, making you a part of it. Everything that happens in the story, everything that I tell you, everything that I say, will happen to you. You will see everything, feel everything, hear everything. Your reality will become the story I am telling you. Anything that I say happens to you, will happen to you, and you will enjoy it, because you have chosen to listen to me. You have chosen for these changes to happen to you, to listen to this story, to become part of this story. Your subconscious mind will take in everything I will be telling you, soak it all in, accept everything, make everything happen. And now, let me begin my little story.

//BODY
Now, I want you to imagine yourself in a room. The room has 2 entrances, one without a door, the other having a locked door that you just came through and locked. There are 2 windows, the afternoon light gently pouring in. You place your hand in the light, and it slowly warms your hand. The floor is covered with a sky blue carpeting, and the walls are painted a pastel white. You go to a window opposite of the open doorway to look outside. You see a lush lawn, and a tree showering the lawn in shade. You hear a few birds outside, singing their song. Suddenly, you hear a peculiar sound. Its sounds much like a cat purring, but much to loud and deep. You turn slowly, and are met by a giant cat-girl. The cat-girl is down on all fours and is quite big, almost twice as big as you. She has blue fur with dark blue stripes, a long tail, long hair in the same pattern as her fur. The major thing that sticks out is her large breast size. You gulp, your eyes glued on her breasts.

"How ya doing, hot stuff? Like what you see?" She giggles.

You are speechless, you've never seen anything like her before. She’s standing at the open entrance to the room, her tail swishing back and forth contently, still purring. She slowly begins to work her way over to you on all fours, standing when she gets no more than half a foot away from you.

“You’re cute, I’m gona have fun with you.” She laughs.

You just stand there, unable to move. No matter how hard you try, you just can’t seem to budge an inch. You see her lean forward slowly.

“Do you trust me?” She asks, staring into your eyes warmly.

You can’t help but nod yes. She seems so inviting, so loving, so trustworthy. You see her lean forward slowly, licking you forehead gently. Suddenly she shoves a glass bottle that looks much like a milk bottle into your pants, the white fluid dumping out all over your crotch. You’re confused but his, but that doesn’t seem to bug you as much as this strange tingling sensation coming from where the drink was spilled. The tingling grows more intense as your package begins to grow. It begins to force the bottle out of the top of your pants, the battle falling with a *tink*, empty of its contents.

“Oh noes, I’ll have to clean that up right away!” She smiles innocently as she says this, dropping to her knees gently, purring the whole time. She licks the growing buldge, bitting the front of your pants and pulls them back, tearing the front of the part covering the package off. You notice that, you havn’t really grown, It just seems like a mass, about the size of a soccer ball, covered in white fuzz, and still growing slightly. The buldge stops growing when its just a bit over the size of a soccer ball. She stands, moving close to you, embracing you gently. She reaches around and gropes your ass, your hips expanding, making use of the buldge, seeming to absorb it and use it to mold your new feminine hips. You feel a pull at the base of your spine, a feline tail pushing out. Next comes the change to your feet, they grow larger, sharp claws forming as they burst through your shoes. Your seat of your pants rip open, no longer able to contain your enlarge and now furry rump and hips. She continues to grope you, her hand feeling amazing against the fur on your butt. The fur begins to make its way down your legs, and up from your new foot-paws. She stares into your eyes, and you into hers. You can’t help but feel a deep longing for her, you lean in and give her a kiss, and you are overcome with a wave of satisfaction and pleasure, you want another taste. You two begin to make out, the cat holding you close, shreading the remainder of your pants off. Your hair begins to grow, becoming blonder. Also, your ears begin to elongate, fur slowly growing on your face and ears. Feel how great it feels, the fur slowly creeping over your skin, it feels like a sort of warm, tingly feeling. It is very enjoyable, and you begin to love it more and more. Your lips part, and you fall backwards onto your back gently, overwhelmed by everything that is happening. It isn’t a bad feeling of overwhelm, it’s a very good feeling of overwhelm. You just love everything about what is happening to you, just feel all the changes that are happening to you. The girl now climbs on top of you, pinning you to the floor, and leaning forward. You barley have enough time to put a paw up to keep her from fully lying on you. You face now begins to push out into a short muzzle, feel it push out gently, your nose changing to resemble that of a cat, your teeth and jaw bones moving to the correct positions. The fur on your hands is working its way up your arm, making your lower arm feel warm and nice. Just feel it creep up your arm, almost to your elbow now. Your hair is also growing still, now just a few inches longer then what it was before.

“Are we having fun, nya?” she says, her paw raising up, she is no longer leaning on you, but is still sitting on you. She places her paw on your chest and begins to rub it, kneeding it gently. You can’t help yourself, you begin to purr softly, just like a cat. She continues to kneed it, your chest now expanding into a pair of breasts. Feel how amazing it feels to have this happen to you. You love her feeling your new breasts, you love her pushing them, rubbing them, kneeding them, making them larger all the while. Your sides begin to re-shape into an hourglass figure, perfect for the catgirl that you are becoming. Now, a faint cricking sound comes from your spine, as it reshapes gently to be able to support your ever expanding new features. Your tail pushes out farther, now reaching full length, and you can’t help but swish it back and forth in approval. Your blond hair is growing longer and longer, now reaching the middle of your back. The fur still growing, just about to cover your whole body. The catgirl is still kneeding your breasts, and they are now almost the same size as your new friends. You love the feeling of this. The fur now covers you completely, you are covered from head to toe in this wonderful, soft, blonde fur, and it feels amazing. The catgirl playfully bites whats left of your shirt and rips it off. You reach up to her, and pull yourself up, giving her a loving hug. You are so thankful for what she has given you. A long cat’s tail, long blonde hair, wonderfully soft striped blonde fur, lovely cat ears, large soft bouncing breasts, cute cat paws, everything just feels amazing. It all feels right, like this is how you were ment to be. You begin to purr again, showing how much you enjoy what she has done to you.

“So, does this mean you approve?” She giggles. You nod your head in approval, you love all of this.

“Well then, lets test drive this new body of yours.” She winks, and leans in, giving you a little kiss. Its almost like a switch to you, all of the sudden she is the most attractive thing you have ever seen. You sigh, and you notice that your voice is definatly a feminine one. You close your eyes and lean in for another kiss. She gladly accepts, you two now fully making out. You both lay on the soft carpet and hold eachother, cuddling close and making out, enjoying every moment, enjoying all of the new sensations that your body is giving you, enjoying all of the changes that have happened, enjoying the new life you have been given. And now, for being such a good listener, and for being such a good character in this little story of mine, I want to reward you. You may stay with your new friend as long as you wish, experimenting with your new body and getting a feel for it. When you feel it is time to part ways, simply say your parting words, and make your way to the door. Now then, I know how much you enjoyed this experience, how much you want to stay this way. So, when you leave your new friend, and return to consciousness, you will be able to retain your form for as long as you want. That’s right, you can stay a lovely blond catgirl for as long as you wish. When you want to return to your old body, just imagine yourself transforming back into your old self, and it will happen. Its as simple as that. Whenever you want to see your new friend, you know that you will be able to meet her again by simply listing to my story again, and becoming part of it again, its as easy as that. Now then, relax, and enjoy the rest of your time with your new friend, and your new form.
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So, whadya think?

[Foxgirl]

Quite an interesting and very detailed script.

It would be fun to try out.

[jon1223]

Quite an interesting and very detailed script.

It would be fun to try out.

I'm glad that you like it. I hope to have it recorded in the near future, just hoping that my voice works well as a tists voice ^^

[catgirlatheart]

I too would like to try

[Felekar]

This looks pretty interesting to try. By all means you should record it!

[catgirlatheart]

ditto

[CHR]

I also want to try this one. :D

[jon1223]

An update: Everything is made, except that I need a girl to record a few parts of the file. I made a thread in the file creation forum. So far, I have no one that wants to, so I really need volunteers, otherwise the file won't be completed.