Non-sequitur thread

by **makidas** » May 27th, 2005, 12:37 am

Sometimes I like pie....

Sometimes I don't....

by aj » May 27th, 2005, 1:11 am

Speaking of pies, my dogs hair is of medium length.

by **Lord_Mizaru** » May 27th, 2005, 11:36 am

Your Age by Sex Math. This is pretty neat! Check it out....

YOUR AGE BY SEX MATH
DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST!

It takes less than a minute....... Work this out as you read... You might need a small piece of scrap paper for simple addition and subtraction.

1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have sex. (more than once but less than 10)

2. Multiply this number by 2 (Just to be bold)

3. Add 5. (for Sunday)

4. Multiply it by 50 I'll wait while you get the calculator................

5. If you have already had your birthday this year add
1755....

If you haven't, add 1754 ....

6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.
You should have a three digit number

The first digit of this was your original number (i.e., how many times you want to have sex each week).

The next two numbers are .........

YOUR AGE! (Oh YES, it is!!!!!)

THIS IS THE ONLY YEAR (2005) IT WILL EVER WORK, SO SPREAD IT AROUND > > WHILE IT LASTS...

by **sandy82** » May 27th, 2005, 11:57 am

Great idea for a thread, tg812.

L_M, I can't compete with the math, but how about an internal non-sequitur?

"After finding no WMDs in the end, we were exporting democracy from the beginning."

by **Lord_Mizaru** » May 27th, 2005, 12:03 pm

Ok so no math, how bout this?

seeking violent agressive masochistic self loathing limber open minded double jointed self destructive intelligent obsessive well spoken female prone to blackouts and psychotic episodes..must be open to all aspects of sadomasochism and bondage .. have sharp teeth and a croquet mallot..demon posessed ok..mutant a plus (no freaks) -please have passport and circus experience

by **sandy82** » May 27th, 2005, 12:08 pm

BTW, the math works!

I like your ad... it's much more eye-catching than 4rms rivvu. :-)

by **Agriff** » May 27th, 2005, 2:18 pm

My dog wants to be let outside....

by **Lord_Mizaru** » May 27th, 2005, 5:05 pm

Either you did it wrong or you're SERIOUSLY in denial :P

by **lensewrage** » May 27th, 2005, 6:08 pm

I bought a vinyl buckle longsleeve shirt today

by **Wynfrith** » May 27th, 2005, 6:17 pm

Speaking of hotels, my hand hurts.

by **BillionSix** » June 5th, 2005, 1:30 pm

I am not a necrophiliac, but I am aroused at the thought of mindless zombie-like women.
Sometimes this makes me wonder if I am similar to a furry, who is almost, but not really, into bestiality.

Brian

by **lensewrage** » June 5th, 2005, 3:51 pm

I'm Drunk

by **Lord_Mizaru** » June 5th, 2005, 5:20 pm

I was drunk last night. Out of my mind :P

by **sandy82** » June 5th, 2005, 6:13 pm

Glenfiddich should be shared with friends. :wink:

by **Lord_Mizaru** » June 5th, 2005, 7:14 pm

Actually I had some Aberlour left over from a while back that I drunk instead.... and the effects of it were shared with people I assure you, all beit not in person. Sadly for them I had my karaoke disk for the xbox lying around and a phone near by, so some of my friends got a lovely rendition of the theme from shaft as well as assorted other tunes :P

by **johnbohnrevenge** » June 6th, 2005, 4:29 am

624 + 713 = 1336

by **Lord_Mizaru** » June 6th, 2005, 9:27 am

johnbohnrevenge wrote:624 + 713 = 1336

You poor bastard, you added it wrong. You were only 1 away from being 1337 but I guess you just aren't cool enough... I feel for ya man :(

by **Jack** » June 6th, 2005, 5:03 pm

I feel somehow...

by **sandy82** » June 7th, 2005, 2:05 pm

i x i x i x i = 1

by **dharden** » June 7th, 2005, 2:46 pm

Did somebody just say "Ulysses"?

by **lensewrage** » June 7th, 2005, 2:47 pm

I have books!

by **Agriff** » June 7th, 2005, 9:08 pm

2+2=5

by **Lord_Mizaru** » June 7th, 2005, 9:42 pm

by **makidas** » June 7th, 2005, 11:06 pm

I found out today that Steak-Ums give me gas.

by **Wynfrith** » June 7th, 2005, 11:34 pm

My goldfish like chicken sandwiches.

by **sandy82** » June 8th, 2005, 6:44 pm

I wonder if it's plagiarism for me to say that one quarter of one quarter equals six cents. Maybe it is; so I won't.

by **johnbohnrevenge** » June 8th, 2005, 7:31 pm

Point two five, sandy; point two five!

We're replying to each other too much. Keep going with the non-sequiturs! (I have to, or the aliens will come.)

by **a3a2004** » June 8th, 2005, 7:50 pm

I have a penis

by **Lord_Mizaru** » June 8th, 2005, 8:00 pm

He has no penis.

by **Jack** » June 9th, 2005, 5:30 am

Who is "He"?
Who is?
How do you know that "He" doesn't have a penis, specifically?
Who are you?

by **johnbohnrevenge** » June 9th, 2005, 6:17 am

I am who I am, so damn, I'm the ice cream man.

by **Lord_Mizaru** » June 9th, 2005, 12:00 pm

Jack
Guru
Joined: Apr 17, 2005
Posts: 65
Location: Austin, Texas

^ This man has no penis.

by **Jack** » June 9th, 2005, 6:07 pm

Lord_Mizaru
Guru
Joined: Apr 04, 2005
Posts: 70
Location: Chicago, Il

^This penis has no man.

by **Lord_Mizaru** » June 9th, 2005, 6:42 pm

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../'/.../..../.....:^.¨¯\
('(...´...´.... ¯_/'...'/
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.…..\..............

by **Jack** » June 9th, 2005, 7:35 pm

:wink:

by **Nanashi** » June 10th, 2005, 6:58 am

A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling (an excerpt)
by Mark Twain

For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retained would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2 might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with "i" and Iear 4 might fiks the "g j" anomali wonse and for all.

Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants. Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez "c", "y" and "x" -- bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez -- tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivli.

Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.

by **TabbyCat** » June 10th, 2005, 9:34 am

Then you get German :D

by **Nanashi** » June 10th, 2005, 4:04 pm

Aufklärung eines Geheimnisses!

by **Wynfrith** » June 10th, 2005, 6:19 pm

I'm going to a whine party....

by **parallaxfx** » June 10th, 2005, 8:13 pm

I will gladly supply the cheese.......

by **Folsom_god** » June 12th, 2005, 12:13 am

me gusta mi reggae
me gust punk rock
pero la cosa me gusta mas es panochita

i like my reggae i like punk rock but the think i like most is pussy ha it makes me laugh that i was trying to sing this when i was 11

by **Lord_Mizaru** » June 12th, 2005, 1:31 am

Penis™

by **sandy82** » June 13th, 2005, 11:03 pm

German is not a language that anyone wants to encourage. If it could be screamed at Nuremberg, it can be bellowed elsewhere.

If the Germans don't like English, I give them the same advice that the French receive.

Tais-toi.

Halt den Mund.

by **Folsom_god** » June 17th, 2005, 8:47 pm

rub it on the belly like some guava jelly

by **lensewrage** » June 21st, 2005, 7:58 am

The sun is shining

by **Jack** » June 21st, 2005, 3:40 pm

There will be times when dinner is not served.

by **lensewrage** » June 21st, 2005, 5:00 pm

Help! I'm being eaten ali........

by **Nanashi** » June 22nd, 2005, 2:00 am

A house is not a couch. Except on Tuesdays.

by **lensewrage** » June 23rd, 2005, 5:28 pm

Where am I?... Who am I? and who are you?

Non-sequitur thread

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