Ryan83 wrote:Because what I am now is a lie. I won't stop until I get back to who I was. I will not live a lie.
I'm not speaking for anyone else but myself. If this is what makes you happy, or anyone, for that matter, then more power to you. But to me, this is a lie, and I refuse to live that way.
[ . . . ]
Because I don't want to participate in a lie. I don't want to do something that I'll regret. Besides, I don't have casual sex; nothing outside of a relationship. I'm most definitely not going to have a relationship with a man when I'm going back to being attracted to women. It's a waste of time and it would be hurtful to the other person.
Not only that, but I don't need to make things worse or confuse myself more. I need to focus on fixing this before ANYTHING else. This has absolutely destroyed my life and I plan in reclaiming it.
I'm honestly troubled by your posts because you sound so desperate.
I don't pretend to have the answers, I've been going through my own version of this and I'm still debating whether I should just go with the flow or keep trying to change/slow things down. But one thing I'm convinced of, this isn't a lie -- we've been changed, the subconscious was programmed one way when we were growing up and now it's been programmed a different way. The old us is still there, repressed, but the new us is no less real.
Still, the new sexuality can be peeled off easily with Deprogram All, I did it myself way back when. And the old you is still there, latent, ready to be reactivated.
My mistake was not to listen to Deprogram All when I woke up the morning after I'd listened, by then it had worn off and I immediately listened to Forced Gay again. So if you listen to Deprogram All, I suggest you listen twice a day without fail until you're absolutely sure that the suggestions have stuck.
Now not only can't I listen to Deprogram All but trying seems to make things worse by making me listen to all the files again. So what I'm asking myself right now is whether it's time to just go with the flow (more with Stroke Sissy than Forced Gay, at this point I'm cool with being gay).
What seems to happen is that no one believes this stuff will work, then you freak out and fight it, and if it's too late to change back you accept it and end up happy with whatever you've become.
Anyway, as I said, I don't have all the answers, but I do know that there are files that can change you back to your old self. And I believe that if you can't bring yourself to listen to them, you'll still be happy in the end and shouldn't beat yourself up too much over it.