Trials, tribulations, and a plan.

[HeftyKink]

Hi, like a lot of folks I seem to be having a hard time going into trance but I think, with a bit of advise I read in other posts here, that I may be on the right track.
I started off listening to CurseAgonyAndExtasy a few days ago. Since I didnt have a place with privay (or headphones) in my home I would go out to my truck, put the seat all the way back and recline it all the way and listen to the file off a CD.
I listened about 3-4 times a day for the first couple of day and by the second day I started to feel, sporaticly, what struck me as ....trance-sign. My limbs actualy started to feel as heavy as the voice (what a great voice to listen to btw) said they would and I felt sort of like there was warm sand piled on my limbs for lack of a better description.
Well at that point I realized that something as serious as the triggers emplanted by the curse probably would work better if I started with something along the lines of a simple induction and a deepening after.
As soon as I switched what I was listening to I seemed to be back at square one. I started off with confusion induction because I tend to nitpick about details and thought that the file might keep my mind too busy to bother. I think I should have stayed with that induction, I assumed the resistance I was feeling might have something to do with having to concentrate on what was being said ( the swapping between "your consious mind" and "your subconsious mind" tended to keep me alert, each change snapped me back) but that was the file I ended up feeling like I went under with eventualy.
So I got the plain induction and started to listen to that but I have a new problem - is there anyone else who ... well I dont know what "relaxing" feels like ...I know it sounds strange but if I am lying down and doing nothing then I cantt see how I can feel anything relaxing - much as I try I get nada from that and it is becoming frustrating enough to distract me from trying to enter trance.
The other things thats getting to me is hearing him say "your are going deeper, you are more relaxed" becausee these words ring hollow for me. I am assuming that once I settle down, once I have listened to the same suggestions more than a few times this may not be such an issue though.
In the mean time I plan to go with someone here's suggestion to echo the words to myself as that might distract me from my concerns and also help stop this incessant chatter in my head.
I have a question ... if I start to feel frustrated, to feel like this just isn;t happening tonight, should I stop for the time being rather than try to go under when my mood is dead set against it? or should I "wait it out" and hope that soon I will be distracted from that?
fyi, the playlist I have set up to listen to right now includes:

SublimTrainTrance
Induction
Deepening
Deepening2
Suggestible
CurseEcstasyAgony

I took the liberty (with appologies to EMG) of editing these to remove the intro "this file will..." and the awakening portion on all but the curse (dont want to be awakened between induction and deepening after all)
my assumption is that even with the trigger and suggestions in the curse beyond beyond what I think I am capable of at this point that it can not hurt to soak my subconsious in the suggestions ...actualy I can not wait for my keyholder to trigger that when it sets in ...seems I have been ordered not to trigger it myself initialy. Knowing that I may end up waiting 14 days or so is a real mixed blessing.

so here is the deal - starting tommorow, no more trying to listen in the truck (neck got painfully stiff tonight), no more laying on the couch so the headset I just bought can be hooked to the pc speakers (6'3 makes being fully confortable on a 6' couch a real challange) tommorow I buy a simple cheap walkman-style CD player and start laying in bed , in the dark and quiet and make no descisions, come to no conclusions, untill I have been doing that for a week.

I think I will start a blog...actualy - I have one but its blank ... if you wanna see, day to day, what my thoughts on this are then please visit it at

http://www.livejournal.com/users/heftykink/

[Agriff]

Try the second LR induction, that helps with the relaxation part. For me when im relaxed it feels like my body is an empty shell, and sometimes I forgot about it being there completely.

Also, Ecstacy Agony may not be a good starting file. This is mainly because it requires a lot of hallucination and imagination. It might be easier to start with a simple straightforward messaage, like trigfreeze.

I know everybody says this but they are actually right, and once you get this to work it will reassure your belief in hypnosis and make it even easier for the other files to work.

[HeftyKink]

Thanks very much for the advise Agriff but I took a lead from someone who suggested "echoing" the words as they are spoken and it kept me very attentive to the voice and kept my mind from wandering. That first night I went intoa light trance and stayed there pretty much all the way through the induction file. (regular, good old basic induction worked great) It was somewhat like the feeling when one finally sees whats in one of those "magic eye" pictures. As soon as you can "find" the trance the rest is cake - especialy with EMG being so damned good at what he does. Each and every time I have used any of these files (and I DO seem to be addicted to it) I have gone deeper, longer and responded stronger. 2 days ago I was truely surprised to find myself feeling the extasy and the agony as what I was to feel was described and I was told to imagine it. That first time it was like an impression ...there was extasy but I couldnt pinpoint what sorts of sensations or where and the same for the agony ...distincly uncomfotable and not liking it (ok, liking not liking it) Up untill last night I had been listening to the file on my trucks cd player but last night, when the instructions to imagine those things came up, I was whole unprepared for the hands moving up my body and over my chest - the ..well placed mouths and so forth ...just as the *cringe* hypodermics in my chest and cock caught me off gaurd. I do not know if anyone walked by the driver side of my truck but for those few seconds they would have gotten one hell of a show as I writhed moaned and wimpered.
now I have to find the post I read about problems getting these files to play when burned to cd or mp3 player and see what I can change so I can lay down in bed soon and start the recording ...this should be interting to say the least - and I am keeping my blog going.

Try the second LR induction, that helps with the relaxation part. For me when im relaxed it feels like my body is an empty shell, and sometimes I forgot about it being there completely.

Also, Ecstacy Agony may not be a good starting file. This is mainly because it requires a lot of hallucination and imagination. It might be easier to start with a simple straightforward messaage, like trigfreeze.

I know everybody says this but they are actually right, and once you get this to work it will reassure your belief in hypnosis and make it even easier for the other files to work.

[JoeyBaggadonuts]

Yeah, I was going to suggest you "echo" the words, too. That is what I do. I get tranced every single time when i do that. It seems to work well for me.

[groomlakeguy]

Just a word of warning...

It might be a bad idea to trance in your truck.
If your mind associates your driver's seat with deep relaxation, it could endanger yourself and others when you actually drive, if you're unlucky!