by MelanieLynne » November 15th, 2010, 6:59 pm
Hi Joran and Alan H26:
I don't know about some man growing hard inside of me because i haven't had that experience yet, though it does sound incredibly pleasurable. I would love that feeling of closeness and security. I would also love opening myself up, feeling vulnerable, and receiving my man inside of me. I don't know about the feel of light stubble as some man kisses me, because i have never had that experience either, but it does sound exciting and pleasurable. I would however love that feeling of running my hands over a manly man's arms and thighs. Now that is exciting, and would make me shiver with pleasure all over. You certainly have givin me enough images that i don't necessarily need to listen, but want to at least try to listen. The thought of pleasure and my hormones may be getting the better of my judgement. Others have warned that it might not turn out as i expect, and i might be miserably frustrated and trapped. I hope not. Still others have said that it is the thought of not ever having sex with women again, not being turned on by them that is despairing. That thought worries me. Going in, I can relate to that despairand that thought scares me. Somehow i think EMG and maybe the two of you may be grinning in the background that confident gotcha look. After all, he did say forced, and i should not take it lightly, but the pleasure, and the curiosity are getting the better of me. Ut oh, i also heard that somewhere before. Maybe i am just going through a difficult time in my life and am craving the intimacy. I hope that i don't regret it.
Alan H26 you also convinced me when you talked of getting ready for a night out with your girlfriends. That is a fantasy of mine, and i would love to live that scenario. I can't talk girly things with girls now. They think that i am either weird, or trying to hit on them. If they could feel that comfortable getting changed in front of me, that would be awesome. i do not want them; i want their closeness, and that is what i think you are describing. At least i think that is the case. I don't know if subconsciously i want to be gay, but i do know that i want to listen to the file. That feeling in my stomach just keeps coming back. The relaxation, and the blanking out, and the feeling of contentment wow me. I also feel anxious at times that i listened in the past if that makes any sense. Yes, back a ways i did listen maybe 3 or 4 times in a week or so period. I heard that said before also; listen a few times, and you will keep coming(cumming) back. Hopefully everything will be o.k. It is a curse file and i shouldn't doubt, but i believe i may be playing with fire, something i don't aspire to do. Again though, my hormones may be getting the better of me. That is something that happens to a lady ever once in a while, isn't it?
Anyways, thanks to the both of you for the kind words. Please be supportive of me in my new endeavour. I will be like a scared little schoolgirl on a date with her first crush. Simply put, i won't be thinking straight. Wow, did i just say that word straight, you know hetero? Fascinating. I can't promise you anything. I may be updating you as I go along, or I may run away like a bad little girl, and not post again. Thanks again anyways for being gentle to me and treating me like the lady that i aspire to be. I am throwing a kiss to the both of you. Here's to the curse, or maybe not.