by oddboyx » September 5th, 2010, 10:00 pm
(Halfway wonder how this would have been if society was gender-biased.)
I think it may have been something for me since early childhood.
My parents, now and then, talk about the toys us kids each liked to play with as a kid... I was a boy who liked dolls and transformers.
Had trouble in elementary for being an easy target since I didn't like horseplay. Then got moved and put in smart kid classes and things didn't happen anymore.
And even as a young kid, I loved any sort of hypno or mind control on tv. Vaguely remember some super hero show episode (live action) in the late 80s with the super (want to say superman) having to go in a computer and risking his mind against it's control.
After discovering masturbation, I started getting curious about hands free orgasms (and now that I know what to call it, forced orgasms). Oh, and from reading (boxes of books + finding old medical encyclopedias + free reign in the sci fi & fantasy parts of a very well stocked public library from 5th grade on) had learned about anal stimulation. I was still so young then, had no negative connotations with it, tried something up there. Wasn't bad, but not as good as advertised, and messy to clean up.
Reading Mind Guest by Sharon Greene, Pern, and everything of Piers Anthony I could find between 5th and 8th grades probably also helped set the stage.
Probably didn't help I had man boobs (and a possible hormone thing...), so that from 6th on, had what is an A cup. Remember walking by the school buses on way home and a voice from one calling out "Get a bra!"
As a tween and teen was curious about girls, how it felt to BE a girl. Found a book in my parents room, was about how to give men pleasure, used to sneak in there and read. Tried on mom's bras a few times.
I tried my first anal toy at 18 (Overnight school trip to college city hours away, turned us loose for several hours in downtown... found a shop that carried bunches of tv and movie stuff with an upstairs "adult" section.)
Until then, most of my thinking had been towards self-exploration. Once I moved off to college things changed. First I realized I was either had submissive tendancies, or just being a virgin, was wanting someone else to guide. Then started wondering about having a chick with a strap on do me.
At the age of 21 in 2005... I found out about here and hypnoticwishes and the entire hypnosis smorgasboard.
Since then, my leanings have taken a decided leaning towards wanting cock, wanting to serve and submit. Just this year got my first package of panties, they're soft and comfy.
I can't see myself ever passably fem, so not likely to go anywhere near public. (If I could be passable, I might try.) If there was a way to become full functioning female, would be really tempted to try it.
Not sure if makes me a sissy, the whole liking girls clothing, not liking competing, and wanting to try cock. Never saw the degradation thing as my liking.
Of course, living in the American Deep South/Bible Belt, having a thing for cleanliness/fear of disease, and a complete inability to read signals have to this day kept me a virgin (toys don't count). This has recently led to the thought that maybe I think to much and a starting to liking temporary bimbo-mind trance stuff.
Found a hypnotist on one site... he was awesome, he didn't care I wasn't a girl in rl, or wanted pics, he just wanted to practice his budding skills on subs&bimbos. He was the first time a suggestion ever stuck, though for only 2 weeks with no reinforcement. (I had to practice on a toy each night). Then our schedules changed, he swapped social websites, and I recently found out he left hypno all together.