by Fionna » July 12th, 2012, 4:58 pm
I have been trying to slowly change my voice but, I either can hear it changing & others can too or it sounds all manish again & then I forget to train it. My voice inside my head & my thouhgts are 100% female.
IM going to be going onto hormones (I hope) asap. I just have to schedual wuth the hormone therapist, my regular therapist knows Id be better & should go on hormones before trying to fix any of my other issues that I have ( nothing major btw) & to just be myself as I see it as a girl of course.
I have been doing it slowly ( well trying to but, I know Im going to shock a lot of people but, I cant help it ) & growing out my hair again , shaving my body hair all over again, wearing perfume, & I am going to be getting my measurements done by one ofmy friends soon & get some clothes. I do have a cute hat or 2 & some girl gym pants but, that's it. Some people my bro & my sis ( & I think my bro already knows somethings up) about why is your hair so feminine ? I am waiting to tell them in private. IF anyone has any better ways please dont hesitate to tel me.
Im 29 but, look, act, & think young. I also pretended I was a girl for a very long time with my friends untill they would ask questions ( when I was little ) then I got ashamed & scared & just stoped so they wouldn't think I was weird. I was feeling the same way that Mizer was through out my life. I then surpressed it for a long time & was & can still be at times but, my mood is usually mellow now - very depresed, anxious, panic attacks, & so on.
I've been told I could pass well now & I would probably look above average as a girl when I transition. How long till I see any results from hormones even the littlest amount of change ?
I am also a lezzie , I like girls & other girls like me. I have only a few people in real life that know & that I am going to tell that I thik will be ok & understand, I also have a lot online that are cool with it. My new friends I've made are few & know but, they are going through or already went through what I am going through. I've also told my mom & she seems ok & unerstanding but, needs more info so I told her she can talk to my therapist & the hormone therapist. I have also talked to her the best I can about ti of'course. I dont care about telling my family or what people will think but, why do I care about telling my friends ?
I also daydream a ton about being a girl like I feel I should be.
Thanks a ton everyone & I will try to be back here as fast as possible. for any help at all on anything is super duper greatly appreciated. My computer is shared so I cannot always be on when I want to.
Thanks & peace & much love from Noel.