Perplexing problem...

[swmnkdinthervr]

My wife has asked to begin exploring a submissive lifestyle as a sub (24/7) and I'm very willing to perform the Dom side of this arrangement.

The problem is that using the submission training files has been totally unsuccessful, while all other files seem to have a profound effect on her. I'm aware that you need to both believe in the trance and want what you're being offered but there seems to be a mental block in place.

We've also used several of the files that are for trance acceptance/conditioning with no real help. Any ideas, your help would be greatly appreciated???

[uw_onsterfelijk]

Are you up for hypnotizing her yourself? That would likely be the best case scenario. She wants to submit to YOU! Follow your commands, right?

Or when you say "lifestyle" is this venturing outside the bounds of your marriage?

If not, you don't have to reinvent the wheel, so to speak. You can choose a style you like, she likes, you both like and since it just the two of you, use that. But use commands and directions tailored for her, that YOU know intimately.

She'd prolly be all over that, if you get me.

If there is resistance, as you stated, there must be suggestions that she doesn't agree with or the "hypnosis" is just not right. Vocally and/or induction wise.

Keep us updated with your progress if you don't mind.

Good luck,
- uw_

[swmnkdinthervr]

Thanks for responding! We have been dabbling with erotic hypnosis for some time now, we had a friend that has since moved that is a professional hypnotist and he helped get us started.

I have tried several scripts and recorded files, she is always receptive to anything about sexual arousal but shuts down when there is any appearance of direction or control. Neither of us can figure out exactly what is the problem/trigger but she does have some trust/control issues because of her emotionally abusive ex.

[uw_onsterfelijk]

You're welcome.

Were your directions/suggestions subtle? You will have to gain her trust it seems before you can move on. And this may take time. A session could be based simply on: "going into trance for me pleases me, and pleasing me makes you happy". And the whole of the session outside of that is just relaxation and assurance suggestion.

With someone who is a bit guarded I always give a directive that "if ever any suggestion I give is not suited for you, you can simply disregard it. As this is an experience we two both share together for the benefit and fulfillment in both our lives... " something like that. That way she'll have a way "out".

HTH,
- uw_ (Dan)

[swmnkdinthervr]

We have used both subtle and more direct approaches but I see your point about offering her a "way out" so that she can feel more trusting and less threatened. If she feels cornered or forced she will obviously block any attempt to give her any direction. Thanks Dan.

John

[uw_onsterfelijk]

I know this is going to appear to be a stupid question but I'm going to ask it anyway!

Are you sure she wants to explore "24/7 submission"?

Usually, and this is a gross generalization, a person with submissive tendencies and desires WANTS to be given "orders, instructions, commands, directions, rules etc etc"! Something is definitely amiss here that's for sure.

I have an online female friend who is of a very Dominant personality type, and she responds similar to your wife. IF, I give suggestions that try to thwart her own control of herself. It's really tricky but I'm very careful with my wording at all times and... we now make it work :D

At first she thought she would NEVER like hypnosis but my charm ;) put that to rest and so she loves to be my little "hypnoslut"!!! She'll even tell me that but, that's as close to her being submissive that I EVER get! Not that I want her to be.

MEH, sorry to go all off topic there. I was just trying to give reference to my question about your wife's true innner desires/nature.

Again, if she really does want to explore this lifestyle, and it's just some "barrier" you have to get through... MAKE the hypnosis FEEL really damn wonderful for her. MAKE it a benefit for the whole of her/your life/lives. At first allow that to be the sole focus and then slowly bring in the submission.

If you feel okay with this, you can send me a PM with part of a script you have used so I could see the wording that's being said to her. But no worries if you're not comfortable with that.

Anyways, KEEP trying John... it'll be really freakin' special for you both if you can figure this out.

Take care,
- Dan

[swmnkdinthervr]

Dan...my wife was the one that suggested a 24/7 lifestyle approach. She explained it would be confusing to change back and forth, she also noted that she would love to serve me in that way.

I really have appreciated your input. Most of the scripts are straight from this site and I'm pretty certain her trigger is anything suggesting submission or giving up control. There have been WAY to many files to list individual wording but I've used some like "Be Obedient" and "Arousal to Submission."

Thanks for your best wishes, I'll be trying out your suggestions soon and will post any success or failure.

John

[uw_onsterfelijk]

John, here's what we know!

1)Other non submission based files have had a profound effect on her.

2)She came to you saying she wants to explore 24/7 submission.

3)Files based on submission, subtle or direct, have little to zero effect on her.

Providing us with this:

1)She can achieve trance

2)She wants to submit

and...

3)RESISTANCE

With only that deduced from our discussion it has to be the content, wording or presentation in the files that she does not agree with.

If I scripted a file for your situation it would be to focus on the trance, her and then... submission to you, and you alone!

Although, I have very limited knowledge of you both so that's really just my best guess ;)

I'll check by from time to time and see how you're getting on with this.

Cheers,
- Dan

[tomtom-phs]

Don't push too fast
Offer her a NON-HYPNOSIS trial run as your submissive,perhaps for a day or a weekend. And be very loving and gentleif she agrees.
Takeit slow, let her learn to enjoy the experience and get used to being submissive over more than one experience or a single activity.
Enclude more than sex, incorporating simple yet enjoyable tasks
When she gets used to the idea of in-depth submission and learns not to fearor resist it, then branch out with hypnosis.
In the mean time, include files on suggestibility and lkessening of inhibituions to her play list.
One baby stepat a time.
Someone once told me that trying to hard is as bad as resisting too much
If YOU relax and take it slow, perhaps she will too?

i got my late wife hooked on being Dominant (which she would not consider before) by agreeing to be her house slave for a full weekend at a time. She hated housework. She learned that power corrupts. lol
She became dedicated to being the MISTRESS of the house. When hypnosis joined her tool chest she really blossomed as a Dominant. Beyond my wildest expectations.

[swmnkdinthervr]

Hi "tomtom,"

Thanks for your suggestions, however we are now living a D/s scenario, in the gentle fashion you suggested, I certainly won't PUSH her at all. Her biggest challenge is letting go of "fear based control" so she is triggered when there is a suggestion or attempt to remove her control.

Dan,

We have discussed this at some length and we both agree the resistance trigger is probably content/wording. Trust is another aspect of her resistance, while she trusts me to some degree (enough to have married me and suggested this exploration) there is a barrier to completely letting go, my best guess is that she doesn't trust herself enough to be totally vulnerable to someone else yet. You really have been very close to the mark, we are proceeding slowly and carefully and will hold off on ANY attempt to do more than establish a comfort level for her.

John

[Mutazoa]

You know....her resistance could be something as simple as the suggestions to submit are coming from some one else, not you. As you are using files recorded by some one else, she may be subconsciously resisting a "strange voice" telling her to submit. I would suggest hypnotizing her your self; use the script from one of the files if you have one you want to experiment with if you like.

Also remember that 24/7 submission doesn't happen over night and it is best to lay down layers of control and submission. Even if you are playing a D/s role with out hypnosis, her conscious mind is capable of saying "okay I want to try this" and over-ride her subconscious. While hypnotized her subconscious is calling the shots and will resist less than subtle suggestions to submit...start slow, get her to submit in very simple, unimportant matters at first before moving on to more important ones.

[swmnkdinthervr]

Thanks for the suggestions Mutazoa! I do most of the trance work, we supplemented the scripts I've copied (and modified some) with files from the site in an effort to see if they would help or hinder the effort. So far there has been little difference in response between the two choices.

I appears that where the conscious or logical mind is willing the subconscious is more tricky to deal with. While in a rational discussion she is excitedly interested in continuing to pursue the 24/7 D/s lifestyle. Again I'm pretty sure her resistance is a fear triggered attempt at control. Patience and starting small/slow looks to be the key here as many of you have pointed out.

I have to comment that we were sent a couple of scripts by a member here that use a less direct approach, I used one last night and while results aren't always immediately recognizable my wife indicated she liked the trance!

[sfhole2stretch]

I find sometimes my mind is resistant to submissive suggestion but have had success with relating submissive ideas to things I know and like, incrementally growing the idea. After all if a sub is all the things I like then I must be a sub.

It might also help to use the trance state to have her restate her excitements about a 24/7 life. Reminder her of the reasons she says she wants it and use those to create a logic providing a path and positive reinforcement. If she is the the things she wants ....

You get the idea.

[swmnkdinthervr]

sfhole2stretch...that is as good an idea as we have gotten and some have been very similar, I'll try some of that starting tonight.

Progress will obviously be a bit slow but I will let you all know how she is progressing.

[swmnkdinthervr]

Thought I'd stop back in and update this post. There is some change in direction however subtle, with continued repetitions of a couple of effective files I may begin to see more progress.

Any suggestions for more soft submission files would be appreciated!

[Fizbin]

You might try Blink's Good Girl file for her. That doesn't directly enforce any kind of submission, but tweaks her responses to your instructions (or rather, to your response to her submission).

[swmnkdinthervr]

You might try Blink's Good Girl file for her. That doesn't directly enforce any kind of submission, but tweaks her responses to your instructions (or rather, to your response to her submission).

Thanks...I'll look that one up!

[swmnkdinthervr]

Thanks Fizbin, that was a great suggestion!!! My wife responded nicely to that file, I massaged it a little to personalize it but mostly left it alone. We're starting a notebook of files/scripts that work the best.