Yesterday, whilst doing a reflection and internal meditation I came to the realisation. I don't need to change myself to fit others wants and needs. If I want to change something I should change it for me, and up until now I haven't been doing that.
I was doing Jock transformation files for the tist and not myself, not really.
Of course I want to be healthy, but I don't want to effectively be a brain dead idiot who can hardly tie his own shoelaces.
So from this moment I am stopping everything. I reject all of the trances and suggestions tists and files have given me. I reject them all, and live my life happy and how I like it, not someone else.
Thank you all, I hope you have a wonderful time and find the realisation you are looking for.