Experience with my first (likely last) Master

[slowslipper]

For a while, I had been in a 'tist/sub online relationship with someone I met through one of our little niche websites. At first it seemed perfect. He tranced me a couple times after we talked a bit about the things we both enjoyed and our backgrounds some. We were similar ages and at basically the same spots in our lives (we were both in relationships irl where we'd rather not express our hypno-kinks).

After a while longer I'd been keeping an ongoing public log of our sessions (and numerous nude photos of myself that I would be ashamed of if they were they to surface) and I realized that things were getting much too close to my public life. Being the naive, trusting person that I am, while under I relayed WAY too much personal information, including my phone number. On certain nights I was out with friends and such he would want to put me under and repeatedly call when I had already told him I'd be unavailable.

It took me a while to be able to distance myself enough for him to realize that I was no longer interested. After all, it's hard to resist a seductive voice you've allowed yourself to be manipulated by for so long. Despite that, we parted on pretty good terms in my opinion.

Overall the experience left me feeling very easy to toy with. There were always missing chunks of time, and there are things I changed about myself that I questioned. Did I WANT to dye my hair this color, or was this a decision my former master made for me? I also noticed that I developed an attraction to dollification that I'm not sure was there before I began all of it.

For now I'll be sticking to audio or visual files I download on my own, on my own terms. At least until I muster up the courage to tell my significant other about my guilty pleasure. XD

Anyway, this is just my experience that I wanted to share with the community. I'm young (though of legal age, of course), and I know much worse things could have happened. I'm going to get back into the community again, rather than lurking in the shadows as I have for some months. Did any of you have similar experiences when you first delved into the world of hypnosis?

[Endo]

Overall, not a negative experience. You seem bitter about it, when all I can see at most is a person being pushy and you were permissive. The subconscious is a funny thing, but most 'tists here are convinced that you cannot force someone to do something that they do not want to do. So, on some level, you may have wanted to dye your hair. No big change or loss, it'll grow out, or dye it back to your natural color. Dollification? I've had some weird fetishes pop out of the woodwork, it's just a matter of what you decide to indulge in. It might not even be related to his influence.

I think that people should distance themselves from this odd BDSM-sequ 'tist/sub relation. It should be 'tist/client. You say what you want to change/do, and the 'tist helps you with that. 'Tists should not be using you as they want, because if they're changing things they want to change, then hypnosis is less effective, and the sub just ends up messed up.

[slowslipper]

I wouldn't say bitter exactly. Maybe just relieved. I haven't had anyone to talk to about everything that happened, and I was kinda freaked out afterward. It's not like it wasn't something that I sought out, but I don't think I really knew what I was getting myself into. That's why I felt the need to post about it here and get everything off my chest.

I definitely see that I was too permissive, but that's how I am in general. With the hair thing, I actually needed a change like that. It was fun. :) I can say that the dollification thing seemed off to me because I've always been afraid of dolls, but it could have been a preexisting interest that he ran with. He called me Doll as a pet name, and I ended up with a costume that I wouldn't have otherwise purchased, so I know for sure he enjoyed playing with it.

I left the whole thing feeling confused, so I can attest to the messed up thing, lol. It was fun at the time, and that was what I was after, but there were too many changes that he wanted more than I did.

[uw_onsterfelijk]

The predator Dominant in me thinks this sounds kinda HOT actually! DON'T JUDGE meeeeeeeee, hehehe.

But the caring and morally responsible "me" is glad you found your way "out" safe and sound ;)

Solid advice by Endo although, if a "relationship" develops the distanced client/'tist theory goes out the window. As hypnotic submission is submission nonetheless, and could be seen every bit as part and partial of BDSM.

Thanks for sharing this slowslipper, it's very interesting.

[slowslipper]

It was hot to the eager submissive in ME, which is why it was so hard to accept that it might've been affecting me negatively. :lol: