The idea of Fetish: Q&A

[WME3]

Warp My Mind is a nice gathering place to share in one another's interests, its a solid community that's built around the act of anything a dirty mind could ask for!

After a few years of lurking, that got me thinking; So I have a couple of questions to ask YOU, curious reader, about that one thing that GETS you!


(These are serious questions, so I'm looking for a meaningful response. No personal experience has to be shared that you don't want inputted.)

What causes a fetish?

When does the thought start? In childhood? Earlier?

Where does it develop? Is there such a situation that causes it? A series of events?

How does feelings and emotion play a role?

Does denial play a role in the progression of a fetish? Is it more like Kübler/-/Ross model?

What did you feel when you realized that you had a fetish?

This is a discussion. If you have questions, share them!

[Endo]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_fetishism Just putting that out there.

All of these questions are pretty damn philosophical in nature, and I consider myself a pretty philosophically minded guy. I love to read about all that stuff, but I must say, this is beyond my readings and experiences. There's very little I can say on the subject in general, or in connection to hypno. I doubt the majority of people on this site are going to be able to give you very thoughtful answers to these questions as they're worded.

I did say there was very little in my brain about this subject, but I guess I'll just start typing and see what falls out, when a person "rants", their subconscious can do strange things.

So, I guess I'll start by saying that I've worked with fetishes before in a hypno setting. A file I wrote was designed to make the listener only able to be aroused from femdom porn, and would lose all interest in porn that had femsub or maledom stuff going on in it. I'm not entirely sure what would happen if the listener observed lesbian stuff, that wasn't entirely accounted for in the script. I did it by forcing roles to sexes, and making femdom and maledom be mutually exclusive concepts. It worked pretty well from what I'm told.

With the above in mind, there's been some small discussion on how fluid a person's fetishes can be. There's the above evidence for a person being able to change their fetishes through hypno, and the wiki page talks about "curing" fetishism in relation to psychology.

Now, for the average person, a "fetish" isn't something that's entirely unusual, not something that one doesn't automatically associate with sex, but is something that's usually associated with sex on some fringe level, like BDSM. I recently tried some self-bondage, and I got pretty aroused, just from some very light stuff. So, while octopi and ropes aren't "arousing" for most people, they can become quite wonderfully sexual in the right setting, so fetishes can be a bit context-sensitive. If it's particularly strong, then I'd imagine that just seeing an octopus or a length of rope could arouse someone with that fetish, or at least get their mind IN the gutter.

Personally, I have a lot of different fetishes, most of which are rather hentai/porn inspired, which seems odd to me, because I didn't really consume a lot of hentai material. Or any, really. These are things like tentacles (the whole freaking family, really, anything that's ever been associated loosely with tentacles, I'm probably okay with), futa/various-non-PC-terminology-that-I-feel-awkward-using-now, BDSM stuff (but really only the B and the D/S bits, not into the S/M aspect), and every now and then, some chastity. And lots of anal. (I CAN get into the origins of that a bit, it's rather interesting how that one popped up, at least from a hypno standpoint.) Now, what I want to get at here is that fetishes can be rather SPECIFIC, I'm into the whole tentacle concept and would happily fantasize about anything that could be loosely classified as a "tentacle monster of some sort", but I'm not okay with bestiality or "furry". I'd be okayish with a "nekomimi" sort of deal, but "it" has to be primarily humaniform, otherwise it's too much like bestiality for me to be comfortable. I'm okay with mythical/WOW style humanoids, like elves or Draenai, but that's not really my area, I'm more of a sci-fi person. The only reason I bring those ones up specifically is because they seem to be quite popular in art-porn, like found on HentaiFoundry, a site I frequent. Similarly, while I'm into futa (which likely came about from a desire to fantasize about something/one that could be considered "female" in conjunction with my anal desires/fantasies/practices) I'm not too big on "pegging" or "gay stuff". I'm primarily straight, and if the guy was attractive enough, I'd consider offers, but I'm much more interested in females by default. Now, while "futa" and "pegging" are in a similar area and serve the same purpose as fantasy material, I don't find a female with a strapon as arousing as a female with a "natural member". Now, I could speculate that that is because I've read that futa and their kin arise from a male's natural desire for a female partner in association with the familiarity that comes with their partner having a penis like their own, it sort of puts the male and their partner on a level playing field in terms of "how does that thing work?" and "Why do women need so much fondling to get going, why can't I just rub it and move along with it?" So, in this way, having a feminine partner with the same mental mechanisms, sex drive, and motivations, as well as physical gear as yourself can be much more approachable than a woman with a plastic dick tied to her crotch.

^The above paragraph's TL;DR^: Fetishes are specific. Having fetish "X" does not mean that you will also have fetish "x", a similar but notably different fetish.

I believe I said something about anal's origins being interesting in the above paragraph. I experimented with anal BRIEFLY several years ago. I "didn't really get it" at the time. After a while, I got interested in it again due to being bored with typical penile stuff and not really feeling "orgasmic" when I came. I did a lot more research than I had before, and then obtained some toys. It was pretty okay, I was able to orgasm harder and more enjoyably from anal stimulation thrown into the masturbation mix, but it wasn't really enjoyable on its own. So, I listened to some files meant to make anal more enjoyable, became convinced that they weren't doing much of anything and gave up. Now, anal is a major part of everything. It's supremely enjoyable, and while I can't orgasm from it alone yet, I've come pretty close. So, what happened? Well, I'm pretty sure that my subconscious was just late to the party, so the effects of the file were delayed. It's a pretty big thing now, and it's had an impact on how my other fetishes developed, such as tentacle monsters and futa entering the picture as preferable alternatives to "gay stuff".

I've run out of thoughts now, and I guess there was quite a bit jammed up there that I forgot about. Like I said, subconscious minds can bring up a lot of stuff once you get into a ranty, rambling thought path. I'm not sure this info is what you wanted explicitly, but it's what I've got.

[WME3]

That was quite a read, thanks for sharing Endo!

There's the above evidence for a person being able to change their fetishes through hypno, and the wiki page talks about "curing" fetishism in relation to psychology

I have checked the wiki page before, and looking at it again, it still leaves to the imagination. Though it makes sense that conditioning and association leads to the development of a fetish-as evident that some people develop associations in a particular object, rather than everyone,-some of the methods described seemed like it needed to be out of a certain context for sense to be made.

Fetishes are specific. Having fetish "X" does not mean that you will also have fetish "x", a similar but notably different fetish.

Agreed,
fetishes are very diverse, and even as such there are whole communities that share the same interest.

Early psychology assumed that fetishism either is being conditioned or imprinted or the result of a strong emotional (possibly traumatic) or physical experience. Often, these experiences occurred in early childhood.

Could this be an example of having a similar experience related to the object? While an early childhood event may have imprinted a desire on the person for an object or fixation, it wouldn't seem accurate, and rather very oft putting to think that a fetish can develop in the context of losing a sibling or parent in childhood.

With the above in mind, there's been some small discussion on how fluid a person's fetishes can be. There's the above evidence for a person being able to change their fetishes through hypno, and the wiki page talks about "curing" fetishism in relation to psychology.

Change? As in replace? Or as an addition to other fetishes? I agree that there has been evidence of this occurring, though I would like to hear from someone who has personally done this.

In his article ‘Transitional objects and phenomena’, Winnicott says about fetish: “Fetish can be described in terms of a persistence of a specific object or type of object dating from infantile experience in the transitional field, linked with the delusion of a maternal phallus” (Winnicott, 1953). In other words, a specific object or type of object, dating from an experience during the period where the mother gradually pulls back as an immediate provider of satisfaction of the child’s desires, persists as a characteristic in adult sexual life.

I can draw lines with this, my first experience was from childhood, not terribly young, but young enough (4-5years) specifically related to the idea of being teased, and then denial of an object I was used to obtaining.


A quote from the wiki page on comfort objects

Later on the child comes to realize that the mother is separate from it through which it appears that the child has lost something. The child realizes that it is dependent on others and thus it loses the idea that it is independent, a realization which creates a difficult period and brings frustration and anxiety with it. In the end it is impossible that the mother is always there to "bring the world" to the baby, a realization which has a powerful, somewhat painful, but ultimately constructive impact on the child. Through fantasizing about the object of its wishes the child will find comfort. A transitional object can be used in this process. The transitional object is often the first "not me" possession that really belongs to the child.(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transitional_object)

Could an example of Transitional Objects be the removal of one instead of replacing it?

Does fascination with a fetish occur before or after something develops

. I experimented with anal BRIEFLY several years ago. I "didn't really get it" at the time. After a while, I got interested in it again due to being bored with typical penile stuff and not really feeling "orgasmic" when I came.

So, I listened to some files meant to make anal more enjoyable, became convinced that they weren't doing much of anything and gave up. Now, anal is a major part of everything. It's supremely enjoyable, and while I can't orgasm from it alone yet, I've come pretty close.

In this case, the fetish is a compliment, rather than solely the act. That took some time too, which must have made for an interesting time waiting to process all of what you were conditioning in yourself. :wink:
I've heard the opposite case, where people can only get off by thinking about the fascination.
Its interesting because this can be an advantage as well as a disadvantage if self-control is exercised (for instance, longer periods of sexual arousal before orgasm).

[Endo]

With the above in mind, there's been some small discussion on how fluid a person's fetishes can be. There's the above evidence for a person being able to change their fetishes through hypno, and the wiki page talks about "curing" fetishism in relation to psychology.

Change? As in replace? Or as an addition to other fetishes? I agree that there has been evidence of this occurring, though I would like to hear from someone who has personally done this.

Well, the file I wrote for the client replaced one fetish with another, and if the feedback I received was accurate, then it is certainly possible to change one's fetishes through replacement. Now, this is all in the field of hypnosis and conditioning, I don't think many fetishes could be altered through other means unless they were rather weak.

But also, if you've read through some of the more well-written scripts (especially the "Train X" files) on this site (certainly not my oldest material, haha), you'll find all sorts of "addiction" suggestions that tell the listener that as they listen to the file (or some other sort of repeatable action), the listener finds that they enjoy the action/behavior/thoughtpattern much more than they ever have, and they desire to do it again, etc.. So, with that in mind, it is possible that suggestions to enjoy receiving anal and whatnot (which are considered a pretty "basic" training file) could actually generate a fetish where there was none before. It is also quite possible that the suggestions to create or strengthen a fetish could make the fetish strong enough to override the typical sexual pleasure mechanisms, as seen in my now extreme desire for anal over penile stimulation.

I think there was another thought holed up in there, but it doesn't want to come down and play right now.

[WME3]

Do you have links to any well-executed fetish training files that you are referencing?

[Endo]

This is the one I'm talking about: http://www.warpmymind.com/Files/6128/Femdom-Only---Male%2C-V1%2C-Audio-fixed.php

[WME3]

Kunoichi made a post in another thread about his ideal fantasy situation.

That also got me thinking; the whole reason the desire for a fantasy or fetish exists is because we want it. What happens after we realize it? What happens when we indulge in our desires so much that it becomes mundane? Does that ruin the fantasy or fetish? Or does that encourage continuing of the habit regardless of other desires?