For all you geeks in need of a laugh....

[Lord_Mizaru]

This kid has tried to set up a site giving a beginers guide to hardware. Every piece of information he gives is wrong. I'll link you to the site, but I also told him his mistakes so with any luck he'll be fixing it... just in case though, here's the entire thing copied and pasted for your viewing pleasure ;)

http://www.angelfire.com/rings/judy_patch/





A beginners guide to computer hardware


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hello, and welcome to my guide on computer hardware for beginners.

My name is Judy Patch and I have always been fascinated by computers.

I wrote this guide to inform others on the basic hardware components of today's standard home P.C.s

Central Programming Unit

the C.P.U. (or 'motherboard' as it is more commonly known) is the main part of hardware you need to know about. It is a large circuit that is made up of tiny microscopic wires and connections that pass data to different parts of the computer.

All computers have C.P.U.s

The C.P.U. has many plugs and slots for various other pieces of computer hardware such as R.A.M., a chip, cards, FDD disk drives, A.G.P. cards etc...

The C.P.U. looks quite complicated, but is in fact quite simple.

A C.P.U.'s speed is measured by the amount of busses it has. A Bus is a tiny microscopic electronic component that carries computer data. The more busses a cpu has, the more data can be carried at once, the faster it is. Most of today's modern C.P.U.s have over 700 busses.


An image of a typical CPU unit





Chip

The chip is, in a sense, the 'brain' of the computer. it plugs into a special slot in the the C.P.U. and processes all the computers data. The chip's speed is measured in Megahertz (mhz) the more mhz the chip has, the faster it is.

There are three main types of chips, Celeron, Pentium and A.M.D. There are no distinct differences between the three, just different brands, although, Pentium is the most widely known and is suported by most, if not all, software companies.

The chip has many pins on its under-face, these pins slot into the holes of the C.P.U.'s chip-slot so it can communicate with the C.P.U.


A Pentum chip





Random Access Memory

Random access memory, or R.A.M. is used by the computer to store files and data until the P.C. is shut down.

whenever you create a file, edit a document or make any similar changes, all this information is stored in your R.A.M. until you shut down, then it is transferred onto your HDD disk drive. Ofcourse a computer runs better if it has more R.A.M., the standard amout of R.A.M. for todays home P.C.s is about 512 mgb of R.A.M.

There are different types of R.A.M. which include EDO, SD and DDR. There is a new standard of R.A.M. beginning sale this year, it is known as DDR2 which holds more data than normal DDR R.A.M.

DDR3 is also expected to go on sale in early 2007 which will be able to hold even more data than DDR and DDR2.


A R.A.M. unit





HDD Disk Drive

HDD Disk Drives or 'Hard Drives' are where all the computers data is stored when the computer is off.

R.A.M. cannot keep data stored unless it has power, whereas hard drives can hold data even when no power is present. Hard drives come in a range of sizes, but the standard for today is about 80 gb.

Every Hard drive has a unique IP address. An IP address is used by the internet so the governmnet can keep track of you. That way if someone is doing something illegal, such as hacking, the government or police can identify this person by their IP address, simmilar to a cars liscence plate.

Some hackers however, have found ways to steal peoples IP address by using special virusses called trojan horses. Once the hacker has stolen someones IP address, they can use it while hacking to avoid being caught.

stealing IP addresses is illegal and I will not be explaining how to do it here.


A typical HDD Disk Drive

[Lord_Mizaru]

I tried linking to the images but angelfire wouldn't let me so I've taken out the links just to be safe... you can imagine the pictures that got posted just by the description of each thing.

[deathjdstn]

ok be nice he most likely some 12 year old kid just learned a thing or 2 about computers and got his information mixed up looks like he has the right idea but little mixed up

we all were kids at one time didn't we get some kind of information mixed up that we tried to learn?


but either way i do get kinda of a kick reading it reminds me when i was a kid learning computers even tho i was not that bad but i knew some that was worst.

got to give him credit tho for trying. if u wanna really help him send him a link of some information on technical terms and what they mean and such so maybe he can really learn on what he is trying to say.


like i said he just got his facts mixed up some people i know that knows crap of computers do think of the mother board as a cpu and maybe if u find him a nice link he maybe able to go futher in his site on what is the newer stuff like DDR and the 64 bit technology and so on.

[sandy82]

deathjdstn, this kid--apparently named Judy Patch--better not do an on-line Guide to First Aid. Or a repair kit for a 747.

[Lord_Mizaru]

deathjdstn, this kid--apparently named Judy Patch--better not do an on-line Guide to First Aid. Or a repair kit for a 747.

As always dear lady, you put it better than I ever could ;)

[sandy82]

Thanks for the compliment. I've been called much worse things in the "cuckold" thread in the Feminization Forum in the past day or so. :P

I have no idea who the moderator is for the Feminization Forum, but he/she/they either don't realize he/she/they have the position or that the position brings with it responsibilities. Of course, if they will put an entry fee on the "cuckold" thread and split it with me 50-50, all is forgiven. :wink:

Lord_Mizaru, maybe you know the answer to this one. You find lots of interesting info on the 'Net. I apologize that this is off-topic.

I got a PM from a new member that I have never seen or heard of. He mentioned some people named Jerry Brudos, Ted Bundy, Charles Ng, and Cameron Hooker. For Ted Bundy, I have two choices: either the husband on re-runs of "Married With Children" or a serial killer in Florida a generation ago. But who are the others?

If anyone's wondering, I was not compared to them! But a colleague of ours was. If the comparison is as bad as it might be, I guess I have several choices. Of course, I will show it to EMG. Second, I guess we can trace the geographic area that it came from. Third, if it's really serious enough, I won't hesitate to send it to the police in the area where this guy lives, or even to the feds...if the names constitute an implied threat to one of our colleagues.

Have you got any idea who the remaining three are? I take it that Ted Bundy was not the shoe salesman of TV fame.

[Lord_Mizaru]

A quick google search on those names reveals them all to be murders. Charles Ng and Ted Bundy are serial killers, but Cameron Hooker is a little more interesting. Suffice to say, he had fantasies for years of kidnapping a girl and forcing her to be his slave by beating her, one day did kidnap a girl, things didn't go as he'd planned no matter how much he beat her, and the he finally killed her. Happy stories to be sure...

[chymos]

The shoe salesman was *Al* Bundy :)

[sandy82]

The shoe salesman was *Al* Bundy :)

Chymos, you are right. I do remember the house better than the names. Not exactly Milledge Road or Walton Way.

Aren't you glad that Lord_Mizaru did the search for the killers? I might have found the local manager of Dairy Queen. :wink:

Many thanks, Lord_Mizaru! Now I have to decide what to do about the PM....
.

[asdf]

http://thedailywtf.com/

[makidas]

Wow, great find, that is hilarious! :lol:

[demigraff]

Charles Ng and Ted Bundy are serial killers

According to a batch of emails I received recently, Charles Ng is the president of Rhodesia, and needs my help to smuggle AU$230m from his country to the USA.

Makes you wonder how they come up with the names for these things.

[sandy82]

LOL, demigraff, the last time I read that letter it was allegedly sent from a close advisor to the President of Nigeria. In order to receive the offered fee, the addressee merely had to send the number of his bank account, into which the money could be deposited. :P

As one of your countrymen once noted, "...pigs have wings." :wink:

Charles Ng and Ted Bundy are serial killers

According to a batch of emails I received recently, Charles Ng is the president of Rhodesia, and needs my help to smuggle AU$230m from his country to the USA.

Makes you wonder how they come up with the names for these things.

[demigraff]

's been a long time since I saw an actual Nigerian one. Most of the recent ones seem to be Zimbabwe (for obvious reasons), Panama (wonder why?), Rhodesia (which doesn't even exist any more) and occasionally Kenya (why?)

Some of them, you want to reply just to find out what the catch is. One the other day was from a 15yo Brazilian kid who is really good at football but isn't too academic. He offers to compensate you in any way he can manage if you will adopt him to get him out of his 'hellhole' country. No request for money, no obvious payoff. I'm still puzzled.

[Mallic]

ROFLMAO!!! look what he changed it to!!

[goldragon_70]

ROTFLMAO!!!!! If that was what it was they just did a lot of aplogizing. :lol: These people are why nobody wants to learn about computers.

Edit: now I find this

Judy Patch was an uninformed idiot. Please click on the popup banner for me if you like what you see. Maybe ill put up a website about computer hardware that doesn't suck total balls. Btw this could not have happened without Gujuman. Also, the Kaiser Chiefs are an awesome band. Incase your wondering what this is all about, Judy patch made this website to "teach" people about computers, when she herself knew nothing. Then whats worse is she asked for money so she could put her information on CD's then sell them for even more money... shame on you Judy....And for the Record, a motherboard is a motherboard, a CPU is a Central processing unit, Hard drives DO NOT have IP addresses, Pentium and Celeron are both Intel, AMD rules, and Judy you can crawl in a hole and die you steaming pile of suck. This website and Judies hotmail/msn messenger account are for sale, best offer accepted, email me at priceatronic@yahoo.com