i have been functionally incontinent for over 25 years and never did anything about it, which seriously impacted my hygiene and my whole life. When i found out last year that i am autistic and that i have ADHD my whole life suddenly made sense to me, and i was able to make some important changes - most of all, explore all those needs that i have which were suppressed for so long due to social pressure, and to learn to place my needs above any restrictive and harmful social norms.
Six months ago i decided to wear nappies every night, and it improved both my sleep and my life so much. Two months ago i decided to wear nappies 24/7, but i still allowed myself to spend several hours a day in pull ups before i ran out, and to use the potty for poo poos. But for the past couple of weeks i have been listening to diaper hypno videos on loop all the time while i am awake - sometimes i just loop parts of them, or i reduce the tempo or add some meditation music in the background. Two days ago i discovered this site, and some of the files have worked so well for me that i can't imagine myself ever using a grown up toilet again. i have also realised that i only feel comfortable and secure in very bulky and visible nappies, so i always wear an ABDL nappy with extra large booster that is held snugly to my body by fairly tight plastic pants instead of the regular fixation pants. Above this i always wear a thick and fluffy plastic-backed cloth nappy, and on top of everything i wear plastic pants with a more generous fit, or one of my plastic rompers.
i can genuinely say that i never again want to pretend to be anything other than a thickly diapered sissy baby boy. Every month i spend nearly all my money on nappies, plastic pants, plastic-backed cloth nappies and plastic rompers, and on everything that i need for hygiene and disposal, so that i can build up a large supply of everything that i will need on a daily basis. i have started making a high chair and a baby cot (and I already replaced my grown-up king size bed with a single one some time ago), and i am looking forward to sewing my own clothes, while i have been throwing away everything that is not babyish and sissyish enough. There is nothing more exciting for me than knowing that i will become more and more sissyfied, and that i will be spending the rest of my life as the sissy that i am, with no shame or inhibitions.
Adult responsibilities have always caused me a huge amount of stress and anxiety, including supposedly 'simple' tasks such as shopping or dealing with paperwork. Right now i am shielding and i get my shopping delivered once a week, so there is no need for me to go outside, except when i feel like going for a walk late at night, when it feels safe. But i want to make sure that even when the lockdown is over, i have everything in place so i won't need to deal with adult stuff again, and i can carry on building the perfect sissy baby life for myself.
The other thing that i want to add is that i am M2F trans, but i have never bothered much about gender norms. So i have chosen a male name for myself, as i love the idea of being in a relationship with a caring Mommy who addresses me in this way instead of using a 'real' girl's name, as this adds to the humiliation of being a diapered sissy. If i find the right person, i would also like to serve Her as a disciplined and obedient sissy maid while remaining in my thick nappies, and switch between these two mind states.
Any input is obviously appreciated - but please no 'advice' trying to talk me out of what i have already determined is best for me, and what makes me feel happy and relaxed.
