I need some help

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I asked Nicole if Mike shot her up and she said no. She was nervous to do it, as I was, but she still wants to try it. Maybe we can do it together down the road. I said I’d love to be there for your first time. She said you will be, somehow you give me courage! She also said Mike wants to have a threesome and would that be possible? I said of course, I’d love to someday get all slutted up and do that with you. We talked about fantasies, he told me he would love to have us both over for the weekend and withhold coke from us until we agreed we were his sex slaves. He went into deeper detail, but that was the key part. I said that sounds so sexy, but I said I don’t want to be deprived of coke, I would lose it! He said he would never make it to the point of painful. He said just the thought of me taking your coke away would be all that it would take. He said he likes to play the dominant role, but it is just play never real. I kind of got wet hearing that, would be a real live coke whore, kind of interesting, but like Nicole I want to do a line whenever I need it! Nicole is already totally hooked, she knows she never wants to be without it again, and she won’t be.

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I told Nicole that I am spending the night with Mike tonight, but Saturday night I want us to make a sex crazed night for Justin. We will see how much he can make love to us before he can’t do it anymore and then we will have sex the rest of the night. I told Nicole it is such a turn on to see her opening up, and doing lines. I love it! She said I have heard you tell me you will never give up coke ever. She looked at me and said I will never give up coke ever! We made a dirty deal. If one of us ever thinks about quitting the other will put out lines and do them right in front and make it impossible to quit! We agreed, but we both laughed and said we will never need that pact. Neither of us are ever quitting. I said exactly!

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This is for the person that sent me the long e-mail that has read this entire thread 2 times. First, let me say thank you. You really went into great detail, and I never really looked at some of the complimentary things you put so much effort into detailing. You mentioned that you thought I probably looked beautiful. I will say only that I have spent most of my life making others beautiful male/female/cross dressers/transsexuals/etc. I have always tried to be the best image of beauty possible for my clients. How much I succeeded is subjective. I hope whatever level I achieved, my inner beauty compliments it. As far as life goes, for me and Nicole, and Justin as well. We are all linked to having a childhood that wasn’t what we signed up for, but here we are today, thriving and loving each other unconditionally. Coke doesn’t make Nicole and I good or bad. How we treat others in our life is much more defining. I don’t want to get too detailed about my personal life but I was forced addicted at 15. It is what I know as normal. I don’t desire to break away from my normal because I love it! Thank you for your kind words, and also the time, energy, and detail you delivered them. God Bless!

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Also, I know a lot of people that read this want me to be a certain way. I know who I am. I am and always will be a coke whore.

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I don’t like to put out here all that I went through, so much so that I flushed it out of my mind, but the one good thing about therapy is it brought it all out. How I survived is hard to even understand. The one issue I share here is my bad choice boyfriend. My home life was so screwed up, it drove me away. At 15 maybe even 14, I thought it was so cool to be dating and living with a college guy. He was a dealer and had all kinds of money. I moved in with him and in short order he essentially forced me to do coke. I can’t say I understood it, but what I did know it made me feel really good. He raped me over and over and as he got me heavily addicted. I needed the coke so I accepted it and was young and scared. He turned me into a hooker. First to his friends that all raped me over and over. It was ugly and scary. Next I became a hooker and apparently some men loved having sex with a 15 year old. Some were very abusive. I learned that I needed sex to get my coke, that was the brainwashing. I did this for an extensive period of time. Some I had sex with were fathers of girls I knew. It was totally fucked up. I finally got free when he got busted and now I am 17 scared and totally addicted to coke. I knew one thing. I needed coke, and sex got me coke. I became my own prostitute. I finally saved enough money to move. I went to school in cosmetology learned how to do all of it.

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Basically my formative years has been spent making sure I always had coke and sex. Before you feel sorry for me, don’t. I have embraced this life. I love coke, I love sex except now it is on my terms not beaten, abused and raped but satisfying, comfortable, and great meaningful sex with partners I love. One as a coke whore and another that is my true love for life. Justin is the opposite of all bad men in my life, both Mike’s are my coke sex partners also very loving. I have eliminated the abuse, and maintained the life I love with men I love. I will always be on coke, always. I truly can’t survive without it. I will never be without it!

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Nicole is discovering that she always loved coke, and is free to use it anyway she chooses, which is in a lot of ways just like me. I love how much this has opened her up as a confident woman.

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Nicole showed me her coke stash. Mike asked her if she had enough and she said for awhile. He gave her more and said well you never want to run out, and she said thank you, and said it would be awful to ever run out and he said not to worry I will never let you run out. So Nicole is officially a coke whore now lol. She always has been she just didn’t let herself do and be who she wants to be instead of what everyone else wants her to be. She broke the ice and does coke in front of Justin now. Tonight I spend the night with Mike, and I so look forward to Friday night’s. He invited Nicole over Saturday night, but she doesn’t want Justin to know she is sleeping with someone else too. She goes to her Mom’s every Sunday so she is going to stay at her mom’s until noon and then go to Mike’s for the rest of the day. She said there is something about the atmosphere there and doing lines with Mike, and having sex with him. I said the same thing. He really cares for you when you are there. She said she loves going there. Mike told me that me and Nicole are the best looking women he has ever seen in person and how blessed he feels to have us over.

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So I was feeling rather guilty. I feel like I want Nicole and have told her to keep from getting emotionally involved with Mike. That isn’t right. She is totally in love with my husband and sleeps with him like she is his wife, and to some degree she is his wife. I can’t tell Nicole how to be with Mike. I told her just like Justin I want you to see Mike and have sex with him or make love to him as you wish. So as often as you want to see him I am ok with it. Just remember come October I am moving in with him 3 days a week. I need the 3 days for cover, because he is going to start shooting me up periodically and I want to be staying over on those nights. She asked me again what it feels like to shoot up. I said I only did it twice, and there is no way to describe the feeling, it is amazing. The problem is, it is so good you will want more! If you do more you will become an addict very quickly. If you try it please remember that or you will be finished. I asked her if she has thought about shooting up? She said yes, but is kind of afraid. I told her she has every reason to be afraid. I warned her. It is awesome Nicole, but if you keep doing it because how awesome it is you will destroy yourself. She asked how often she could do it if she liked it. I said I did like a quarter or half dose and I would suggest you do the same. The one thing that is weird, when Mike shot me up, as this will sound weird, until he actually shoots you up, having someone shoot you up becomes very intimate, because he makes you feel so good doing it. Once Mike started shooting me up I got very close to him, especially after the 2nd time. He even said to me I’m about to make you feel better than you ever felt before. It was so true, I think that was when I fell hard for him. She said I want to feel that so bad now, would you be upset if I had him shoot me up Sunday? I said No, and if that is what she wanted I want her to shoot up and experience that. She will love it, but she will also become extremely close to Mike. I told her I’m ok with that. Dam I so wish I could do it with her.

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Nicole text Mike and said I am really ready to have you shoot me up Sunday? Mike told her he would love to be the first to shoot her up, but said he would only give her 1/4. Nicole said yes, that’s what I want to do the first time. If I like it how soon can I do it again? He said doing just 1/4 the next day probably but he also said you don’t want to be doing it everyday. He said the second time should at least be a week later. Amber loved it so much she needed it the next day, but again just a 1/4. I will make sure you never do too much, but at the same time if you start needing it I will give it to you rather than see you withdrawal. Be careful. It is great until you do too much. She said I just want to try it is all. He said trying it is loving it! You have to watch out. She said if I did love it and did 1/4 every Sunday would that be ok. He said yes but eventually you will want more until you were shooting full doses. She told him she would be careful. Something tells me Nicole is going to start shooting up on a regular basis, every Sunday. I’m really kind of jealous. She is going to bond with Mike really really close, and I think she wants that and is using this to do so, a true coke whore, she learned fast!

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I want to be there so bad when Nicole shoots up but I also know it is going to be a very special intimate feeling between her and Mike, and there is a good chance she goes from fucking him to making love to him Sunday. I’m not sure why it works that way but it does. I guess because the person pushing the needle inside of you makes you feel so good it becomes very loving. She is going to love it, I have no doubt. It’s like all these things she wanted to do she is doing now, and it is like watching a plant spring a beautiful flower. She dresses completely different now. Very revealing clothes, and confident. Probably the sexy, sophisticated, hooker look, like I always dressed! I can’t wait to rock that look again, especially if my boobs stay this big, omg will I be showing them off!

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I still have one thing I always wanted to do and if my boobs stay and my body comes back, I want to be an escort. I always wanted to try that. I think I would only have sex with someone after several dates, and off the clock. I think it would be fun! We came here to try things, so I want to try things I have thought of along the way, this is first on my list. I know physically, if I work my body back I can be a 10. Not bragging just have been told that by so many men and women. I know how to doll up and look very fuckable.

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I’m sitting outside with Justin and Nicole. I was just thinking how things have gotten so much better. If a couple of weeks ago you told me Nicole and me would be doing lines together all day, and I was back with Mike, and Nicole is sleeping with Mike and is going to shoot up Sunday I’d have said you are crazy! This is the best we have ever been together. I had a great day with Justin when Nicole was over Mike’s sleeping with him and doing lines, tonight Nicole will have a night to herself with Justin while I’m making love to Mike and doing lines. Nicole is free to do all the lines she wants in front of Justin. Nicole was telling me this morning she just realized how much she smokes now doing coke, which is true, I smoke a lot when I’m doing coke especially doing it with Nicole because she smokes more than me lately.

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I love seeing the changes in Nicole. She has opened up so much since she started using coke on a regular basis. She even told me she now truly understands why I fight so hard to have my coke. She said if she ever had to she would fight to keep doing it.

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Omg this is going to be so great. She is going to get to Mike’s house and I’m not going to be there. He is going to bring her in the bedroom and tell her he has a surprise and blindfold her, and then handcuff her to the bed, and tie her legs too. He is going to turn ugly on her and let her know that Amber is his girl and that she is just a fuck toy to rape anytime she needs coke. He is going to tell her after he raped her he is shooting her up a full dose, and keep her tied up while she feels so good. Then Amber will arrive and we will make love and I will rape you again. Amber wants you to know who I belong to and it’s her. She brought you here as a fuck toy and a lesson. From now on any coke you get from me will include a rape! She is going to feel like she is really getting raped. When I get there I will walk in and ask him if I raped the little bitch! I will make it more real while she is tied up

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Mike just text me she just pulled up. Told me to come in 20 minutes. I will have her needle ready and we will make love after a line

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I so wish I was there right now. She must be freaking out. I’m going to make it worse and more real. On my way. I am sitting in a lot 5 minutes away.

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I had to call it off she was so freaked out. Mike just gave her a line and is hugging her. We took her coke and cigarettes away and Mike had a syringe ready to shoot her up a full dose while I held her arm which was handcuffed. She virtually flipped out, now she said wow you made that so real, and now that it is over she thanked us and said that was so fucking real! I thought you both turned on me. I’m still shaking and she was. Love it!

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Now I have the man I love to do lines with all night and make love to!

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Nicole has been texting me. She said that really got me good but you wait love bug (that’s what she calls me.). I will get you back good. Mike really played it well. He had her really believing he was going to have her completely addicted to heroin by the end of the weekend, and I was helping him do it. It was so awesome for a last minute thing. She said Justin is enjoying watch her do lines:). I can’t believe Nicole does as much coke as me now. She absolutely loves it! So glad she decided to just let go and do it. She is all in now, neither of us will ever quit, that’s a given now.

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She is going to shoot up Sunday. I wish I could be there when she does it. I know she will love it. I just hope not too much, that could ruin her and wouldn’t be good. But if she does a 1/4 of a dose like me she will be fine and Mike promised that is all he will give her. It is awesome but it really doesn’t last very long. I will always prefer coke. I love it. I’m going to do a line with Mike and get all snuggly with him. I really have fallen for him, we are getting so close. I will be moving in with him soon 3 days a week:). He is like a 2nd husband to me now. I love him very much.

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When I am with Mike I do 25-30 lines a day. I probably smoke close to 2 packs when I do that much. It is the best combo ever. I know when I finally move in with him, I will be doing 25-30 lines always which is so nice. That is extremely hooked which I love. Nicole really took to it. She already does 15-20 and I noticed she smokes way more than before. Once I start shooting up again on those days I will do a lot fewer lines, and I think once Nicole starts shooting up the same will happen to her. Omg if Justin knew we were both shooting up he would probably freak out! I’m glad she is going to start Sunday with both os us doing it we don’t have to worry about the other saying anything. All this talk has me wanting to shoot up now, I’m really thinking about it. I am going to ask Mike to shoot me up tonight all of a sudden I really want to. I won’t be back here tonight. I am going to shoot up. I’m dying to have that feeling.

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I just text Nicole and told her I was doing it, and she said love bug, you should wait until October! I said I know just one time, I promise. She said she is nervous but wants to try it and will on Sunday. I told her Goodnight. Mike is getting ready to shoot me up right now, I love it!

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Mike shot me up last night. Almost forgot how good that feels. I love Mike so much. It is such an intimate feeling when someone makes you feel so good. I won’t do it again though until October, but I can’t wait to start doing it again periodically. Nicole is going to love it! I love that she is doing coke now. Doing lines with her and having sex with her has brought us so much closer together. She finally understands why I can’t quit. The biggest reason is I don’t want to, I love it. Her mind is so open now. She really thought Mike was raping her and when I came and told her this is what she deserves for sleeping with my husband and boyfriend she really got scared. We told her she would be shooting up every day and Mike would only give her coke if she was tied up and gagged and if she ever told anyone her coke was gone! She was in a state of panic and started crying and said Amber how could you do this to me, I trusted you. That’s when I felt so bad I told her it was fake. I was giving her the rape fantasy she wanted. We took her handcuffs off and untied her. She was relieved but obviously shaken. We hugged her and held her and gave her coke and cigarettes back and she immediately did a line and had a cigarette. She said you guys really got me good! I think it went too far, so I had to stop it.

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Mike said he is so looking forward to me moving back in with him. He said when I left he never thought he would see me again and it was so hard. I said I know, I love you and am looking forward to moving in again. I will be here Friday late afternoon to Monday morning. We have gotten so close now. He is so much like old Mike, but in a different way. I loved old Mike, but wasn’t in love with him,I am in love with Mike. Even Nicole said he wasn’t what she expected, he is very thoughtful and so even tempered. He has this way about him that is like a seductive charisma. It makes you want to sleep with him. I haven’t talked about my boobs lately. They for the most part stopped growing, but they are huge and heavy. I would love for them to stay this big. When I get skinny again and have boobs this size with my long blonde hair and signature red lips and nails, I will have the look I always wanted. Nicole has the kind of body that every woman would want. She is really toned and huge boobs with the pelvic curve and flat tummy that makes her boobs look even bigger. Her soft fine long jet black hair and green eyes just hypnotize men. She doesn’t realize how hot she is. I consider myself very good looking, but I will never look as good as Nicole. She is smoking hot and I’m so glad I get to have sex with her several times a day. Since she has gotten hooked on coke she is the horniest woman I know including me and I love sex. It’s hard now because she is making love to Justin all the time. The last 10 days or so she makes love to him more than me! Once I move in with Mike she will be making love to him constantly, and I love it because I have Mike to make love to so when I move in with him I know Justin is going to get even closer to Nicole. I realize she is his wife too now. I’m ok with it, but since Nicole started doing coke she has really been seducing him often.

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Nicole text me and asked if Mike shot me up last night. I said yes, but it was a one time thing until October. She asked me what it feels like. I said the first 15-30 minutes is impossible to describe! It makes you feel so euphoric it is hard to even explain! I love it so much! I asked her if she still wants him to shoot her up tomorrow? She said yes, but she is a little nervous. I told her don’t be nervous and that she will feel the most amazing feeling she ever felt. I said I got you over your fears of getting hooked on coke. How does it feel to be hooked on it now? She gave me an lol. She said wonderful. I love the way my body feels when it tells me it is time to feel good again:). Thank you! I’m sooo grateful to you I love you!!! I told her When she shoots up it will be amazing too! I love you too. She said she can’t wait to try it. I told her just never get carried away with it or you will be in trouble. I did it and the next day did it again because it is sooooo good, but that was 1/4 dose. At some point I want to try a full one. That has to be soooo good. She said yeah it sounds it. How is Justin doing. The truth? We just made love and now he is playing and kissing and sucking on my boobs. He asked if he could put a line out for me to do:). Isn’t that amazing! He told me I look so sexy when I do a line:). I gave her an lol, isn’t it perfect? She said yes and the sex is so awesome! She said she gets so horny doing lines she could do line and have sex all day and night!!! I said Nicole, you are!!! Lol. You are sleeping with me, Justin, and Mike lol. Your having sex like 6-8 times a day!! She said too bad it wasn’t 12!!!

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It’s so hard to leave here, I’m really falling deeper with Mike. I think starting next week I am going to start staying 2 nights here Friday and Saturday. I don’t seem to have the time I need to make love to him more. We have already done 7 lines:). I’m not complaining, I can see my use is going up when I am around him which I love. Nicole text me and said if the opportunity arises would I be ok with her spending the night with Mike? I laughed and said Nicole you spend the night with my husband! So of course you can. If you start shooting up, you probably will end up spending the night, and that’s a given! Once you shoot up you won’t stop just make sure it’s 1 time a week low dose, max 2 times at1/4. If you ever do a full dose then don’t do it more than once a week or you will regret it!! She said I know, I won’t let it go to far.

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Nicole must be nervous. She keeps asking me questions about shooting up. She asked me if I crave it the next day after doing it. I said yes, but not in a addictive withdrawal sense. It is more of a I felt so good after shooting up I want to feel that way again. So from a physical craving standpoint nothing. Right now I would love to have Mike shoot me up, but it isn’t a need it is a desire. If you cave in to the desire it will become a need. No worries just have Mike shoot you up and I promise you will thank him! You are going to absolutely love it! She said thanks so much, I definitely am doing it, just want some reassurance! I said I know. I love you and I’m so happy for you to experience it! I think I calmed her down. One thing for sure once Mike shoots her up she will bond with him a lot! Her association changes to he makes me feel so good. And if she does it again and again and I know she will she will soon be in love with him. It’s weird but the more Nicole attaches to men I love, and does coke with me all the time, the deeper feelings I have for her. I really want her to shoot up so we can share that experience. I can’t wait until she does, it actually makes my coke safer and permanent because how can she ever say anything when she is hooked on coke and shooting heroin too. It makes it safer for me to shoot it too, and I will be. I want her shooting it, but not addicted.

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Yes I love being sneaky. I made a deal with Mike to have access to Nicole under one condition. We got her completely hooked on coke, and ultimately he would start shooting her up too. Mike now can have sex with Nicole and make sure she starts doing more and more coke so she is like us. I want her spending a night with Mike because he will have her doing more lines. She is deeply hooked already. Tomorrow we get her to break the ice and shoot her up. She was easy to get hooked. I just kept putting it in front of her, now she loves it. Once she starts shooting up Im free!

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I did tell Mike not to ever let Nicole get hooked on heroine or that’s it for us. I want her doing it so I can do it and she can’t say anything, but occasionally. Our plan is working perfectly. Nicole doesn’t even realize it but to accelerate her getting hooked on coke she is hooked on meth. Mike is going to cut less and less meth so eventually she will be hooked on just coke and shooting up occasionally! That means when I move in with Mike I can shoot up whenever I want and do all the coke I want. I have old Mike, but even better. I’m in love with new Mike and if I have a sneaky plan he delivers it for me. I love him so much! I love being sneaky. Mike got me started as an escort. I promised if he got Nicole hooked on coke and shooting up, I would become an escort for him when I moved in. I love fucking new men. I will fuck the right ones after I am off the clock. I told him if it is working out, I may be able to get Nicole doing it too. She loves to fuck. I think if I started and told her all the sexy guys I was fucking, she might do it. That is the plan starting in October. I’ve always wanted to be a high end girl. Ok, I hate the word, but hooker. I know I’d be good at it and make a lot of money. When he put the ad in forme the requests were off the hook. I could be doing lines and fucking hot guys a few nights a week, and even shooting up on some dates. I get wet thinking about it!

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Was thinking how nice it is to do coke and not having to hide sneaking lines in the bathroom, going without it at times, and Nicole using now. It’s such a relief. I feel so good now!

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I got back from Mike’s around as hour and a half ago, took a shower, dolled up and did a line for Justin and we made love. I just made love to Mike before I came home. I love being in love with 2 men but Justin will always be special. Nicole is probably going to want to do a line with me and have sex. Good thing I am doing coke again I’m always horny now.

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Nicole keeps asking me questions about shooting up. I told her I can only go by what I felt and it was really the most euphoric feeling ever for about 15-30 minutes followed by just a hazy calm kind of feeling. I will do it again for sure. You have to decide if it’s right for you. Personally how I know you I think you will love it but you have to decide. She said she definitely will do it just wants to know what to expect. She will be doing it somewhere around 9 tomorrow morning. I told her to text me before and about 30 minutes after. She said she will

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Love the first line of the day. Nicole is excited and nervous as she is heading to Mike’s this morning. I know she will love it. I get to spend another day with Justin all to myself. He has been working hard on our big rec room. He ordered a pool table for it. It has become his man cave for working out. He is pretty dedicated. He is so even tempered and is tough to get rattled. We have a lot of fun together. He loves me no matter what and I give that love back to him. Things get sexually frenzied here a lot especially now that Nicole is doing coke too. We all slept in the same bed last night. We have done that often lately. I kind of like that too and so does Nicole. It is becoming the standard. It just feels so good to be wrapped up around 2 people you love so much.

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Nicole wanted me to do her makeup. She wanted a Smokey eye look and extra big pouty lips, and fake lashes, which she struggles with, and a dark matte brick red lip. Omg she looks like a Hollywood diva! She has a black Mimi dress that she is bulging out of and a pair of rep pumps with a 3-4” heel. She definitely has the fuck me look going on, I swear when she gets dolled up, she is the hottest chick on the planet. Justin was virtually drooling at her and asked where she was heading. She said her Mom hasn’t seen her dressed to kill in so long she wanted to see her completely dolled up and take a few pictures. She is adapting to the coke whore theme like a pro. She even looked at herself and was wowed. She told me I should get back into that business because of how good I am. I told her I only want to be good for you and me, and told her she is absolutely stunning! She is. The only business I want to be in is the escort business. I think of how hot that will be, getting to know some hot guys, and do lines with them, and if it is the right guy, fuck him so he wants more and more. I had that business guy I was fucking, and that was fun. Mike and I will start in October. I can’t wait to try it. I think it is perfect for me. I love to doll up and have sex. I think I will be good at it. Maybe Nicole will want to give it a try. Guys would see her and pay anything for a date, and she can choose if she wants to fuck them or not. She is so freakin horny since she started using coke every day, she would be having sex with all of them lol

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I get questions here sent by private message. One of the most frequent is Justin is so good to me why would I keep having affairs and doing coke all the time? The reality is we set out to have a lifestyle where we would do anything we wanted. I am allowed with his blessing to have an affair anytime I choose. What most forget is Justin wanted a threesome, and I was too jealous at first, even though I was having my own affair. I felt guilty and put an ad out there that Nicole answered. At first I’m like this woman is too gorgeous. I was afraid she would steal him but it was a one shot deal. When I met her, we just clicked in a strong way. She has a magnetic personality. So we had a threesome and as she unfolded the details of her life and why this worked for her, we both wanted her to stay. So what everyone forgets is Justin has been having his own affair with Nicole since, and they are totally in love. I fell in love with Nicole and she became my first and only female lover. I love her so much! As far as the coke. I have lived on it since I was 14-15. In many ways it saved my life. I have been doing coke since I met Justin. He fell in love with me because coke doesn’t make me unlivable. I went 30 days without it. They were awful! My first foot out the door was to get back on it. I could go a year and the first chance I had I would get on it immediately. Nicole always told me how much she loves weed and coke more. I’m so glad she does coke now. I see her every day. Since she has gotten hooked on coke she is so much better! She absolutely loves it as much as me. She is opening up to do what she wants, not what she thinks people want her to be. I think that part of me has rubbed off on her. She is going to shoot us this morning. I am soooo happy for her. She no longer is what people want her to be, she is her. I was so excited when she asked me to help with her hair, makeup, and nails. She is dressing for her not the people she sees. She also wants Mike to look at her and be in awe that he is fucking that. She doesn’t care who stares, she has become her, and I love helping to open that door for her and watch her confidence grow to walk through it!

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I think most don’t understand the lifestyle we live and plug in their own lives and want to see this be a fairytale. It isn’t ever going to be a fairytale in some respects, and in other respects it is a complete fairytale. I say that from my perspective because I’m living happily doing what makes me happy, and finally I have the blessings of two that I love so much. I can finally do all the coke I want, occasionally get shot up, become an escort, have a loving affair with a man and a woman. For most it is unthinkable, for me it is everything I want and need. I can openly embrace my husband having a deeply romantic affair with my best friend and lover. I love that they love each other so much! I couldn’t ever say that 6-9 months ago. I have learned that Justin adores me just as much and probably more because I allow him anything he wants with Nicole. He allows me anything I want in my own affair, including moving in with him for 3 days a week. Once I move in with Mike I’m going to really get emotionally deep with him, especially when he starts shooting me up occasionally. I already love Mike so much, living with him is going to be so special. Just the 1 night a week I spend with him is so nice. I want Nicole to fall in love with him too. Then the hope would be she spends 4 nights a week with Mike and me 3. That would be the ultimate if it ever happens. There will be times when I get closer to Mike when I will want to live with him full time, and at other times with Justin full time. Ultimately, and this may be a surprise, I want to live with Mike full time. The reason is a bit selfish but if I lived with him I would definitely use more coke, and he could shoot me up anytime, not just when I am there. I just want all the freedom I get from Mike. Gradually I will be with Mike full time. I will still see Justin a lot but I will be reversing roles. This will happen once I become an escort. I will definitely move in with Mike full time. Nicole had the rape fantasy, I have a hooker fantasy! I will need to live with Mike to do it. If it works, I will belong to Mike permanently. I already told that to Mike. I told him how he could make me his permanently, and I know we both want that now. Soon I will be Mike’s wife in every way, as my primary relationship. My future is with Mike as a hooker. You don’t know how much I want that!

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I was on my way to becoming a hooker when I was with Mike before. We have had so many conversations. He asked me if there was anyway I would move in with him full time and permanently. I told him if he started an escort business, and I became his hooker, I would move in with him. I promised him once I moved in it would be permanent. He said then get ready to move in because I will set everything up as before for you to start. He asked me how many guys a week I could date and fuck? I said probably 2-3 per day, but 2 is ideal. He said he would charge a fortune, and I could make us 1000 a day easy. He said at first it might take 7 days a week to get established, but down the road maybe just 3-4 days a week. I love how much he wants this too! OMG! I can so see how much I will love this. I will be sleeping with anyone I choose. If they are hot I go in the bathroom do a line and fuck them. Talk about a dream job. I’m pretty sure before the year is outI will be living with Mike 7 days a week. I promised him that, so I won’t break it! I have really fallen so hard for him. If he makes this my reality I am all his!

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Speaking of Mike, Nicole just text me. She is there and will be shooting up in a couple minutes. She is going to love it!

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Nicole just text me. She said love bug, I love you so much! I have never felt anything like this before, not even close. As usual you are right! I will definitely be shooting up again! I would love to shoot up with you! I love this! That is so perfect! I knew she’d love it and yes, I will be doing it with her! Now Any worries I have about shooting up are gone now that Nicole is shooting up too. I can shoot up anytime I want now! The entire master plan is going to happen now. Soon I will become a hooker, and as promised, I will be spending the rest of my life with Mike. I text him and thanked him for shooting in Nicole. I said you cleared the last hurdle for me to become totally yours. I asked him how much he wants us to be together permanently? He said it is all that matters now. He promised me I will become a hooker, 100% certain, and I would move in with him and never leave! I said that is exactly what I want! I know I’m going to be yours now, my love for you has grown so much, I am already starting to be pulled towards you, I am becoming your wife very fast. I need to make love to you tonight! He said come over and do some lines with me, and make love to me. He asked me to please start spending Friday night thru Monday morning with me, and he can’t stand being without me anymore. I said aweee... I’m feeling it too. I will start spending all those days with you too. I can’t fight it anymore. You are the man I am going to spend the rest of my life with. I will spend the night with you tonight under 1 condition? I said I know I just did it yesterday but I want you to shoot me up tonight? He said he promises he will shoot me up tonight. I love him so much now! In my mind I am now his! I want to be all his.

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Ever since Mike shot me up yesterday and now shooting Nicole up, my feelings for him are through the roof. I have to be with him now! I want him so bad it hurts. I think after tonight I will be all his!

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Mike wants to talk tonight about me permanently moving in now. I’m so excited he wants me that way. That is exactly what I want now! I need to be with Mike so much it hurts. I’m so glad he wants me!

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Nicole said she can’t believe how that felt! I told her how good it was now she knows:). She said she will be doing it again and thanked me. Mike said Nicole is leaving at 3, he will be ready to shoot me up at 3:30. He told me to be careful or I will end up shooting up every day. I said what if that’s what I want? I think I would be an even better hooker that way, and you know it would make sure I am totally yours! That’s how much I want to be with you! I love you so much! He said he would love to ensure I live with him permanently, he said you would do that for me? I said of course, I will prove to you that I love you that much. I will start shooting up every day 1/4 of a dose. He said I love you so much, but remember after a week or two you will start needing 1/2 dose then 3/4 then full. Do you really want to become an addict? I said no, but I want to do it everyday. He said he would do it but never under any circumstances allow me to do more than 1/2 a dose per day. He said I would be hooked but he wouldn’t give me any more no matter what, and I will be wanting more. I told him it would put me in the mindset of a hooker, and I will be yours forever because I will need you! He said he loves the idea, and we will talk about it later when I come over. He said it is turning him on to have that kind of control over me. I will do anything to be with him now, I will talk him into giving me what I need:). I love when he shoots me up.

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I basically put this all in Mike’s lap. I explained something to him. I have gotten deeply in love with I’m. I want to become his now, but that means seeing Justin Monday-Friday while he is at work. I know if I continue to do that there is a chance I go back there. If he gets me hooked and shoots me up a lot I will need him, and won’t ever leave and our escort business will thrive. If he wants to make certain I will always be his, that will do it, and I told him I want that.He now says ok I get it now. If that’s what it takes to never lose you I promise I will get you hooked so you need me. I do want you just as much.

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As of right now I feel like I belong to Mike and after he shoots me up today I will be. I will start shooting up every day now. I want to be with him from now on. I love him so much!

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My new man shot me up. I love him so much. He will be getting me hooked! . He made me promise that I would never go beyond 1 full dose on any day. I promised. I will be hooked but modestly and will be permanently living with him. I will become a great hooker for us! Soon I will be doing a full dose every day and hooking. Give me 3 months and I will be hot again with bigger boobs and fucking a lot.

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First time I have been with Nicole since she shot up. She can’t believe how good it feels. I told her I shot up again yesterday. She told me to be careful and at the same time if she could shoot up today she would. I did not tell her about Mike and I starting an escort service in October and that I would be moving in with him permanently. I certainly didn’t tell her I would be shooting up on a regular basis. I love Mike more and more every day. This weekend I will be there Friday late until Monday morning. He will be shooting me up all weekend. I really love it, and I’m dying to become a hooker, or a high paid escort. I think of how much sex I will be having and how many men I will be fucking which is made for me. I know I will be good at it. Mike is really excited and said if we do as well as we think, and he knows I will be good at it he will quit his job and devote full time to our escort business. This weekend he said he will shoot me up twice a day 1/4 dose each, and by the time I leave here I will have my wish, I will be hooked. He wants to see how I react, this is a trial run before I start shooting up every day in October. This is my ultimate fantasy to be a high class hooker. I’m not going to tell Nicole my plan, but she will know how much I love Mike once I am living with him full time. I can’t wait to get started. All the coke and sex I can handle! I also love to get dolled and I will have on very seductive make up, and my nails will be perfect. I love doing that anyway, and now I will get paid to look that way. I will be wearing the sexy whore look which is somewhat my look anyway.

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I’m dying to tell Nicole my plan and I may have to. This is going to be so hard because I love Justin so much but he doesn’t serene a wife that is shooting up everyday like I will be and fucking men for money several times a day. I need to start weaning myself off of him and him off of me, and let Nicole completely become his wife. I know him and Nicole would work and make it easier I am gone. I’m going to be living with Mike as much as Justin, and will be having most of my sex with Mike. He is the perfect man for me. Our ideas are very similar. He wants me to become a hooker, and embraces shooting me up and getting me hooked, but at the same time set a limit for me which is good, because I know me if I could shoot myself ip I would end up doing a lot more than that. Just having it all the time is going to feel sooo good, I fell in love with it the first time, and so did Nicole. I actually feel like I could use some now. I hate that I have to wait until Friday now.

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Oh boy. I knew I shouldn’t have told Nicole but we were doing lines and you talk too much. She said love bug, are you crazy! You are going to have a baby soon and as fast as you have it you are taking It away from Justin? You are going to try and get hooked on heroin to be a better hooker? Listen to what you are saying girl? I told her I always wanted to be a high priced hooker, and live life freely doing all the coke I can do and shooting up, and tons of sex! She said wait a minute. Yes or no. Can you do all the coke you want to now? You are sleeping with 3 people can’t you have sex anytime you want? You can shoot up occasionally, why get yourself hooked on it? That gets really ugly! Every time you meet a man you don’t know what he is capable of doing to you. Screen them all you want but sooner or later especially if you are shooting up you will become a victim or worse a statistic? Are these things a dream? I said look, I have always wanted to do this. You make some good points to think about but I love Mike and I am going to shoot up every day. She slammed me and said what about Justin? You adore him, I see it he adores you I see it every day! He is so anxious to be a Dad, and you are going to be selfish and destroy all this we have , and you will ruin Justin and he doesn’t deserve that, you are his life, can’t you see that? I felt really bad but I said I have to do this for me. She said Why? Because you have to fuck up your life, and everyone else’s too? She said dam it love bug, I love you and Justin too much to allow this to happen. I am texting Mike and stopping all this no matter what it takes. She stormed out and left the house crying. I have to do this for me, and I will. Wish I could shoot up right now, I need to!

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What she doesn’t understand is Mike and I are deeply in love, and beyond that this is a business deal. I want to work hard which in this case means having as much sex as I can handle, so Mike can quit his job and I will permanently be his hooker wife. I always have affairs anyway, so why not make a lot of money having many affairs. I’m sure ultimately I will have many repeat clients and will build relationships with them and it will be more than just a fuck. As far as me shooting up daily that is between me and Mike, and he actually wants me hooked, he even told me! But there will be a cap on it. He wants me hooked because I will need him, and by locking me in he can feel safer quitting his job, so I made a commitment to him and promised I would get hooked, and I love it so much, I want to be and prove to Mike I really do belong to him! He even told me once I am hooked he will feel ultra comfortable that I will never leave him. I promised once I did I will always be his, because I will be dependent on him shooting me up. He told me to be ready because he is going to shoot me up 4 times a day all weekend 1/4 dose each. He said I would be hooked, and I said I hope so, and I will move in right away! I need to do this fast. I asked him to meet me for lunch at his house and please shoot me up. I want him to see how much I love him and want this. I want to be his girl so bad. I love him more than Justin now because he is doing exactly what I need, because he understands me!